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My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by deebrain(m): 10:20am On Dec 14, 2020
100% normal.

It is called "Traditional Marriage" because it is the real marriage bound by your roots, not necessarily because of the location

That is, both your family and that of your spouse are formally approving the Union with all requirements met.

There are also churches and mosques in villages too where "white weddings" happen na...
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Cousin9999: 10:25am On Dec 14, 2020
Compromise and have two weddings.

And bring me a plate from both weddings.

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by pocohantas(f): 10:33am On Dec 14, 2020
descarado:

Bless you for this.
The only thing still keeping igbo people together is traditions like this.
Do you know that that two children of one of our late chief who had so many wives and concubine almost comitted sacrilege. They met in USA, started going out and proposed. The mum of one of them insisted they come home for marriage. I think it's the babe that know she is igbo but don't know which part. Seems like her mum( one of the concubine) severed all ties with the chief and left naija. Na so everybody come naija. Land for the same town and the same village heading to the same family house cheesy
Your guess is as good as mine grin

They wouldn't have known had they done everything in Yankee

I have an uncle whose concubine did this too. Took all her kids to the America. The woman no even look back o, na when that my uncle lose im two wives, come dey sick anyhow, she came with her kids to see him. It was an emotional Christmas.

grin grin

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by amliftedhigher: 10:33am On Dec 14, 2020
It is a taboo. It is anti Igbo culture

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Bulldozer90: 10:44am On Dec 14, 2020
Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

How old are you? you know girls behave in an insane way when they fall in love. They don't mind doing things they'll regret in future.
seems you already succumbed to your sister's effeminate fantasies. Bringing such topic to nairaland is a proof. Else you should take it to an Igbo forum. Most comments telling you to give her away in the city are either from girls or Yoruba dudes who feel assaulting Igbo culture makes them heroes. Everyone in Igboland knows that traditional marriage is done in the girl's father's house in her hometown. Else, spiritually they are not married. prayers said from our father's houses are the most effective. During the ceremony, the kindred will negotiate the bride prize and give her away for the community. The father will give the girl a cup of palmwine, she locates her husband, sips, and give her husband who drinks and sprinkles the remaining on the soil to seal the agreement between these families.. This is the proper marriage. The one that Bible recognise. the offor given here makes the marriage long lasting and peaceful. Any other thing could have consequences you might not afford to spend your energy on in future.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by imoleoluwa15431: 10:50am On Dec 14, 2020
:It is normal,stop stressing your sister U Dey Talk Abt Stressing D Sister. What Abt D Man Wey Wan Carry D Expenses?
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Aboguede(m): 10:50am On Dec 14, 2020
After suffering her for 35 yrs u wan come choo rice during ogogoro.

Enter bus pay first
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Prettychild(f): 11:01am On Dec 14, 2020
Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

I have seen it happen before. There is nothing bad in the traditional marriage taking place in the city. The finances of the parties should be taken into consideration
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by chinavs9ja(m): 11:06am On Dec 14, 2020
supportnija:

Which God?
God your creator.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by chinavs9ja(m): 11:08am On Dec 14, 2020
nomenclature:
Prayer warrior, can'tyounusenyour brain to think of a solution instead of praying ? Religious buffon
How many lives have you influenced positively Mr thinker?
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by joyandfaith: 11:12am On Dec 14, 2020
IkpuMmadu:
dude I have done my trade and registrer years

I am here to advise

Ok sir
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Forumobserver12(m): 11:13am On Dec 14, 2020
pocohantas:


I can’t explain it well, but Igbos are deeply tied to their roots and togetherness. You don’t really know a person except you know his/her ancestral home and that can never change. SanwoOlu can decide to demolish our house in Lagos, but that can’t happen in the village.

Various rites in Igbo land are also stressful, so no matter how long it takes, something must bring you back to them. It is better you start identifying with them early.

Absolutely correct,,
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by descarado: 11:14am On Dec 14, 2020
pocohantas:


I have an uncle whose concubine did this too. Took all her kids to the America. The woman no even look back o, na when that my uncle lose im two wives, come dey sick anyhow, she came with her kids to see him. It was an emotional Christmas.

grin grin
Can u imagine.

U will never have respect if u don't take your people to homeland. Forget the lovey lovey. Real marital problems will surface, time for your inlaw to respect you when u talk will come. One small boy or girl will use that to tab you.
Your husband will treat you as he wish if he is eventually the bad type knowing fully well u don't have a base.
Some of us want to run away from these village shenanigans honestly but they have their merits. Instead of me not going to my home to do my marriage, I will forfeit church wedding. In nsukka then,one parish priest made it compulsory that u must go to your papa house and do marital rites before u can come for marriage class. They know better than us, I guess.
Awon yahoo yahoo marriages everywhere cheesy
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by ammesidog: 11:19am On Dec 14, 2020
Understand the essence of traditional marriage which is ceremony at the residence of the parents. So the setting is relative... If your parents all resides in Lagos. It only makes sense you do it there. Nothing concern ancestors here. Rules and laws of the land are made for us not otherwise. Use wisdom bro

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by pocohantas(f): 11:35am On Dec 14, 2020
descarado:

Can u imagine.

U will never have respect if u don't take your people to homeland. Forget the lovey lovey. Real marital problems will surface, time for your inlaw to respect you when u talk will come. One small boy or girl will use that to tab you.
Your husband will treat you as he wish if he is eventually the bad type knowing fully well u don't have a base.
Some of us want to run away from these village shenanigans honestly but they have their merits. Instead of me not going to my home to do my marriage, I will forfeit church wedding. In nsukka then,one parish priest made it compulsory that u must go to your papa house and do marital rites before u can come for marriage class. They know better than us, I guess.
Awon yahoo yahoo marriages everywhere cheesy

Naija youths will travel from Lagos to Jigawa to see themselves for intense knacking. Time for trad or knowing your hometown, the same man will now tell you Nigerian roads are unsafe. They weren’t unsafe when he plied it to come fck.

I no wan vex. angry angry

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Nktessy(f): 11:41am On Dec 14, 2020
In my own culture, u can do your traditional marriage in the city or abroad and send your pride price home. There is a specific amount to pay for distant traditional marriage. That way the elders hv taken their share n prayed for the union too. So it's not a taboo
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by 49cents(m): 12:20pm On Dec 14, 2020
LawLab247:
I don't know your culture but where I come from, traditional marriage is held at your ancestral home. That's one of the things that makes it traditional in the first instance. We Africans must not bastardize the ways of our forefathers, lest we lose our identities. My opinion tho.

You for go school for your ancestral home....Change is a constant thing in life bro. Embrace it
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Oracleforce: 12:25pm On Dec 14, 2020
LawLab247:
I don't know your culture but where I come from, traditional marriage is held at your ancestral home. That's one of the things that makes it traditional in the first instance. We Africans must not bastardize the ways of our forefathers, lest we lose our identities. My opinion tho.

Stone age mentality....

Mumu

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by femi4: 12:30pm On Dec 14, 2020
Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

Respect her decision. Traditional wedding is in the act not location

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Athemisia: 12:44pm On Dec 14, 2020
NwaforIgbo:


It depends on how much you know on Igbo culture and how you value it..

Let me ask you then, will you replace the palm wine for a fruit juce in your TM?
Will you introduce cakes to your TM?
Will you wear Agbada to your TM?

How you answer this question willgo along way to actually tell how you value and respect the Igbo culture.
No one is replacing Palm wine with fruit juice we are talking about location here
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Athemisia: 12:48pm On Dec 14, 2020
descarado:

Can u imagine.

U will never have respect if u don't take your people to homeland. Forget the lovey lovey. Real marital problems will surface, time for your inlaw to respect you when u talk will come. One small boy or girl will use that to tab you.
Your husband will treat you as he wish if he is eventually the bad type knowing fully well u don't have a base.
Some of us want to run away from these village shenanigans honestly but they have their merits. Instead of me not going to my home to do my marriage, I will forfeit church wedding. In nsukka then,one parish priest made it compulsory that u must go to your papa house and do marital rites before u can come for marriage class. They know better than us, I guess.
Awon yahoo yahoo marriages everywhere cheesy
I thought you are educated, but you are not..
I thought you are civilize, but you are not as well...
So the inlaws can't travel to the city?

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Hapuruchukwu(m): 12:54pm On Dec 14, 2020
Mynd44:
It is her wedding and her choice. I know you might feel a bit skirmish about it but it is still her choice.

And how is this an "Igbo tradition" to marry at home? I think the tradition is the marriage itself, the travelling home for it is the culture (I stand corrected). Anywhere you live and you are welcome is where your home lies.

If your worry is about who attends, invite those people over.

But still talk to her and try to find a middle point, make compromise which might include, an introduction in the village before the wedding while it might not be the actual event but she and her husband visits to meet everyone. This can also be agreed on after the wedding.

I have Igbo friends whose traditional marriage was done in Lagos because they felt the logistics was off. Some felt their friends, bosses, mentors, colleagues who they feel are more impactful in their lives than some of the family members they have not seen or even met might not be able to share in their special day especially if the "elders" who will attend even in the village are few and can be convince to travel to the city if they insist.

Anyways, let us know how this goes and remember, it is her wedding and while you want what is best overall, she is an adult and able to make her decisions. Make compromise and listen too her arguments well.

Please stop talking rubbish. All this it's her choice non sense and civilization misplacements shouldn't be used in everything. There is no middle point in the issue. Traditional wedding is done at her ancestral home. Not city residency please.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by galaxy2020(m): 1:17pm On Dec 14, 2020
Traditional marriage is meant to be done in your father's home. That one she's planning to do in Another man's village is not traditional marriage.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Sampozy: 1:18pm On Dec 14, 2020
It's not normal in Igbo culture.
If the cost of logistics is too much.
It's better she doesn't do at all than doing it in the city
My cousin came back from Canada with his fiance for the traditional wedding.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by evuna: 1:20pm On Dec 14, 2020
femi4:
Respect her decision. Traditional wedding is in the act not location


Dear femi,

If it were yoruba culture would you have said the same. Nigerians are hypocrites. Why don't we respect the decision of gays and lesbians and allow them to make their choice and decisions.


Those non igbos urging people to disregard their tradition and culture should calm down.


Why I love igbo culture is that one you will be reminded of your folly. Even if it takes 50years, people will keep taunting you till you do the right thing.


There was one traditional function that I attended. An elderly man claimed to have done one cultural rite or so. Omo, elders dey keep records oo. I heard so many things from them sometimes dating 60 years back.


Op, just respect your culture for future sake. People will taunt you, your sister and even her children. Save yourself the stress and do the right thing. It's not as if someone asked you to bow down to an idol or anything fetish.



Just do the right thing.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by femi4: 1:35pm On Dec 14, 2020
evuna:



Dear femi,

If it were yoruba culture would you have said the same. Nigerians are hypocrites. Why don't we respect the decision of gays and lesbians and allow them to make their choice and decisions.


Those non igbos urging people to disregard their tradition and culture should calm down.


Why I love igbo culture is that one you will be reminded of your folly. Even if it takes 50years, people will keep taunting you till you do the right thing.


There was one traditional function that I attended. An elderly man claimed to have done one cultural rite or so. Omo, elders dey keep records oo. I heard so many things from them sometimes dating 60 years back.


Op, just respect your culture for future sake. People will taunt you, your sister and even her children. Save yourself the stress and do the right thing. It's not as if someone asked you to bow down to an idol or anything fetish.



Just do the right thing.
Define traditional wedding....We are getting this culture thing very wrong. You can be in Europe and have traditional wedding there.

Their forefathers didn't have the opportunity to travel out of their comfort zone, hence most traditional weddings conducted at that time were done in the villages.
It's about showcasing the Igbo culture and you reach wider audience having it away from your town. Hence more people will come to know more and embrace the culture.

It's about the ACT not LOCATION.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by evuna: 1:51pm On Dec 14, 2020
femi4:
Define traditional wedding....We are getting this culture thing very wrong. You can be in Europe and have traditional wedding there.

Their forefathers didn't have the opportunity to travel out of their comfort zone, hence most traditional weddings conducted at that time were done in the villages.
It's about showcasing the Igbo culture and you reach wider audience having it away from your town. Hence more people will come to know more and embrace the culture.

It's about the ACT not LOCATION.




Oga, you have no moral standing to define what traditional marriage marriage is to Igbos. Face your culture abeg.

The two most prominent Igbos are Ojukwu and Azikiwe. Go and look at their date of birth. It's more than a hundred years ago for Azikiwe.

Igbos have been traveling out of igboland for mouth than a hundred years now. They have kept that tradition of going to the village for Marriage and burial. It has helped us greatly.

I have no issue if the Op goes ahead to do it in the city but I just love Igbo culture. You will never escape the consequences of that folly even up to your children. It takes nothing to go to the village even if you go with a few family members.

Let your in-laws come to and do the rites in the girl's father's house. No matter how small. it's not too expensive, if not broke men in igboland won't able to get married. It's just that people want to show off that's why it seems as if it's expensive.


Igboland is very secure right now. no excuse.

Your decision at the end.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by EASTERNPOL: 1:59pm On Dec 14, 2020
From what you are saying, i can see that your in-law is not an IGBO, if not you won't be here, but I will advice you to stand on your foot and insist that the traditional wedding be done in your ancestral home or else you may not be able to carry what will come on your family there after.
Unless they just want to do a get together party, not traditional wedding
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by femi4: 2:09pm On Dec 14, 2020
evuna:





Oga, you have no moral standing to define what traditional marriage marriage is to Igbos. Face your culture abeg.

The two most prominent Igbos are Ojukwu and Azikiwe. Go and look at their date of birth. It's more than a hundred years ago for Azikiwe.

Igbos have been traveling out of igboland for mouth than a hundred years now. They have kept that tradition of going to the village for Marriage and burial. It has helped us greatly.

I have no issue if the Op goes ahead to do it in the city but I just love Igbo culture. You will never escape the consequences of that folly even up to your children. It takes nothing to go to the village even if you go with a few family members.

Let your in-laws come to and do the rites in the girl's father's house. No matter how small. it's not too expensive, if not broke men in igboland won't able to get married. It's just that people want to show off that's why it seems as if it's expensive.


Igboland is very secure right now. no excuse.

Your decision at the end.
That's the lie you were told to instill fears into you. I was talking about forefathers and you mentioned Zik and Ojukwu.....smh

Many Igbos are having their traditional weddings outside igboland and no evil has befallen them

I attended one in lag last month, and the couple are doing fine. It's time we open our eyes and eradicate the greys areas of our culture
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by bencarson007(m): 3:21pm On Dec 14, 2020
frozen70:


Those abroad has a way of doing it

They ask the man's brother at home to represent the man abroad and ask the lady's sister here in Nigeria to represent the sister abroad and it will be done by proxy and those mentioned stands for them

Tradition is traditional, give it to them let peace reign

Too much Wahala.... Make we no dey stress ourselves in the name of tradition
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by SweetCunt97(f): 3:30pm On Dec 14, 2020
Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

Too many accidents on our bad roads these days abeg. Let her marry in d city jarey.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by divineappo(m): 3:36pm On Dec 14, 2020
Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

stupid question

so u want to hinder her progress because u feel traditional marriage must be done in the village?

people like you would also claim to be living in year 2020, in reality, u are actually still living in the 80's

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