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Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? - Romance (9) - Nairaland

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I Crush On My Colleague: Should I Let Her Know Or Should I Keep This To Myself? / Should I Stay Or Leave?- Recognising Red Flags In Relationships / Ladies Do You Step In Or Let Him Handle It Himself? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Sixfeetbelle: 9:46pm On Dec 18, 2020
cooooooks:
Women in the elder generation were working.


All the women in my extended family were and are working. None of them expected to be dependent on their husbands.

Some of them even out earned their husbands.


What's the connection between 'sensing' when things aren't alright with your partner and women working?
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Sixfeetbelle: 9:47pm On Dec 18, 2020
femi4:
It should, but going into a relationship with that motive is wrong.

Relationship shouldn't be the gateway to escape poverty

In this case here where she has a need, it isn't the motive so why the crucifixion?
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Nobody: 9:54pm On Dec 18, 2020
Cutehector:
Relationship Don become cacovid palliative scheme. Nigerian girls and stupid entitlements. Op don't be lazy, go and work
my brother I tire ooooo. All this broke and jobless girls have turn relationships to cash out.
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Pasiuba: 10:05pm On Dec 18, 2020
Don't let go of your relationship B/C ur guy couldn't help u wen you were down, it could be that he didn't have at that time or that he feels you are not so broke as you were. you can just let him know that you are broke and you needed his support and wait for his response.i believe no sensible man would refuse to help his woman especially if she is not the demanding and the one that feels entitled to benefits for loving them.so i advice you to speak to him when this type of thing happen again let him know you are not bouyant don't assume he sees things himself.goodluck

1 Like

Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by simeko(m): 10:40pm On Dec 18, 2020
Danyyyyyyyyyyy:
So we've been together for some months, almost a year now and well my current financial state is making me have doubts about our relationship, he's also not stable according to him but a lot of times I doubt that even if he was he probably won't tell me, or he'll leave me to do it all.

I don't demand anything from him, he's not my dad, I loved him so I always try to act like a grown woman even when I need help, but after losing sooooo much money in a scam I'm so broke that I barely have money to eat. He knows this but he didn't do anything to help, that's how I've been living like I'm single. I do every thing for myself but it's not been easy.

Do you think it's okay to let him go and focus on me? Because I really don't understand his role in my life anymore, or should I try to wait while working and see if he's different in the future?

What are you even saying, madam hear yourself,
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by samwillyco1(m): 10:49pm On Dec 18, 2020
Danyyyyyyyyyyy:
Both good and bad response are welcome , I'm taking points from the ones that make sense

Just sit him down and talk about your peoples relationship and ask him what future holds for you in his life, be serious put emotions aside and get your answers or better ask him whom you are in his life ask him to think about it before answering the question be mean emotions should be put aside, his responses will determine your next move.
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Danyyyyyyyyyyy: 11:27pm On Dec 18, 2020
jaxxy:


There is no excuse for an uncaring frnd or partner. No he’s not ur daddy bt that doesn’t mean he shudnt know how to act. Also what value do u add to him b4 demanding what value he adds to u??
Well he confided in me sometime that his business wasn't going so well, And it was bothering him , I was able to get some of my friends to help out , and they did , he appreciated it of course, during this time I was okay at my own side , I was trying to refer him around too, so now I got quite unlucky and I literally fell out of balance, I exhausted everyone on my emergency help list before I swallowed my pride and revealed my unpleasant situation to him, we talked about it , but after the talk he left me to my fate , I didn't bother asking him about it , I still managed but something serious happened and I needed whatever it was I could get , after disturbing ppl as usual I came to him and told him what happened , I can't give details here , he did not even budge , he just asked this and that and then avoided it , which is why I felt like maybe now that I'm weak I should stay away and fix myself, I find it hard because I really love him a lot but it seems so....wrong
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Danyyyyyyyyyyy: 11:29pm On Dec 18, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Bia I hope you not giving him ur honeypot sha. You can't be suffering and b giving one selfish idiot kini to fvck and satisfy his lust. Kindly free the guy, him no get sense. Don't be with people who don't care about ur welfare.

No sex involved yet
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Danyyyyyyyyyyy: 11:31pm On Dec 18, 2020
Hamiltonii:
A woman could only talk like this when she's confused cos of the pleasure in a man's hot rod!

Funny how wrong you are
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Nicepoker(m): 11:36pm On Dec 18, 2020
[s]
Zzor:
As you were forming independent he got used to not helping you, move on he does not cherish you
[/s]
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by tommy20: 11:47pm On Dec 18, 2020
Your story isn't explicit enough.

He is not financially stable?

His he working presently?

Has he for once gift you something without you asking?

If yes, did you appreciate the little gift he gave? Guys are.

Are you the type that brag in his presence that you have enough money to take care of yourself before the scam issue?

What exactly is the guy doing for you to still love despite his stinginess (base on your story)
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by jaxxy(m): 11:59pm On Dec 18, 2020
Danyyyyyyyyyyy:

Well he confided in me sometime that his business wasn't going so well, And it was bothering him , I was able to get some of my friends to help out , and they did , he appreciated it of course, during this time I was okay at my own side , I was trying to refer him around too, so now I got quite unlucky and I literally fell out of balance, I exhausted everyone on my emergency help list before I swallowed my pride and revealed my unpleasant situation to him, we talked about it , but after the talk he left me to my fate , I didn't bother asking him about it , I still managed but something serious happened and I needed whatever it was I could get , after disturbing ppl as usual I came to him and told him what happened , I can't give details here , he did not even budge , he just asked this and that and then avoided it , which is why I felt like maybe now that I'm weak I should stay away and fix myself, I find it hard because I really love him a lot but it seems so....wrong

Since uve been dating him what’s the best thing or most memorable thing he’s done for u?? It’s almost a year now. It doesn’t have to be expensive bt must be impressive. I’m asking cos nobody truely loves without giving Smtn. It’s impossible. Even when u don’t have u try to make an effort.

I’m trying to know if this guy loves u the way the way u love him or even loves u at all. I don’t have time for guessing or bullshit. Call a spade a freaking spade.

Let me even ask u why do u love him? When Ure not sure he loves u? What qualities do u see? I’m sure he has or are u just lonely??

At the end of the day there’s no reason a partner shudnt help out Aslong as its not overly done and abused. U helped him out so why can’t he or atleast try? Has he made any efforts? Is he still incapable or is he just irresponsible?? U need to know who ure dealing with or dating. undecided

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Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Exodora: 12:00am On Dec 19, 2020
Nonexistent1:
You said he is not financially stable but here you are doubting his role in your life because he didn't give you money. You see why I call Nigerian girls parasites. The bobo is probably drinking garri and struggling but you are here saying nonsense. I pity men that fall in nonsense love these days.
He is not financially stable does not mean that he can't offer help even when he knows that she can barely feed as a result of the scam.
I don't know why some people will know the truth but rather conceal it.
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Exodora: 12:05am On Dec 19, 2020
DrayZee:
You barely have money to eat...as in, you didn't have a job/any source of income besides the investment that went bad?
That's terrible. He should at least be able to help you feed (that’s if he’s not even struggling to feed himself).

If you have anything to say to him, just say it. If you want him to help you out with something, go and ask him.
Do you even know what happened when a person is scammed.
Have you ever wondered if she borrowed the scammed money and how she will pay back .
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Exodora: 12:08am On Dec 19, 2020
Shortyy:
First of all, why are you with him? Is it love? Infatuation? Lust? His personality? The sex? wink or the money?

Answer this question and I'll tell you what to do.
Even after you read she loves him so much and all quotes you are still asking this question .
I really feel for you oooo
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Danyyyyyyyyyyy: 12:09am On Dec 19, 2020
cheesy
tommy20:
Your story isn't explicit enough.

He is not financially stable?

His he working presently?

Has he for once gift you something without you asking?

If yes, did you appreciate the little gift he gave? Guys are.

Are you the type that brag in his presence that you have enough money to take care of yourself before the scam issue?

What exactly is the guy doing for you to still love despite his stinginess (base on your story)


I've never received a gift
No I never even told him I was doing anything, I only told him after it went bad, he assumed maybe my family were doing it, and he had a good job before now but even then he was the same as he is now , but it was early I felt he was trying to Make sure that he could trust me , so it didn't bother me , you know , now its almost a year and still wondering
He told me from beginning that he loved women who are more like assets than liabilities , so I felt like maybe we could work together , told him about my plans , the listened to all of them and that's what made me start liking, he has his way with words too but now everything is just "words"
Presently I can say he's okay , coz my friend that works with him informed me of the business they've been doing , but he said that he's only paying debts

1 Like

Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Tallyman(m): 12:18am On Dec 19, 2020
Danyyyyyyyyyyy:
So we've been together for some months, almost a year now and well my current financial state is making me have doubts about our relationship, he's also not stable according to him but a lot of times I doubt that even if he was he probably won't tell me, or he'll leave me to do it all.

I don't demand anything from him, he's not my dad, I loved him so I always try to act like a grown woman even when I need help, but after losing sooooo much money in a scam I'm so broke that I barely have money to eat. He knows this but he didn't do anything to help, that's how I've been living like I'm single. I do every thing for myself but it's not been easy.

Do you think it's okay to let him go and focus on me? Because I really don't understand his role in my life anymore, or should I try to wait while working and see if he's different in the future?

My dear please walk away. Walk on your self. You need a man who truly loves and care for you. Love must be expressed.
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Danyyyyyyyyyyy: 12:19am On Dec 19, 2020
jaxxy:


Since uve been dating him what’s the best thing or most memorable thing he’s done for u?? It’s almost a year now. It doesn’t have to be expensive bt must be impressive. I’m asking cos nobody truely loves without giving Smtn. It’s impossible. Even when u don’t have u try to make an effort.

I’m trying to know if this guy loves u the way the way u love him or even loves u at all. I don’t have time for guessing or bullshit. Call a spade a freaking spade.

Let me even ask u why do u love him? When Ure not sure he loves u? What qualities do u see? I’m sure he has or are u just lonely??

At the end of the day there’s no reason a partner shudnt help out Aslong as its not overly done and abused. U helped him out so why can’t he or atleast try? Has he made any efforts? Is he still incapable or is he just irresponsible?? U need to know who ure dealing with or dating. undecided

I really don't know why I love him, we just had good conversations and we liked the same things in the beginning , the day we met was very funny and I just got attracted to his outward gentleman self, he's also very smart , but he was better as a friend than a boyfriend, he's a nice guy , the only thing we haven't done is sex and my friends have warned me non-stop to not try it coz it might be what he wanted , omo I just weak , honestly if I knew sooner it would've been easier to leave, now its like if I leave it'll be like I left coz I don't love him or I left because he's broke but we can't just be like that na
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by jaxxy(m): 12:30am On Dec 19, 2020
Danyyyyyyyyyyy:


I really don't know why I love him, we just had good conversations and we liked the same things in the beginning , the day we met was very funny and I just got attracted to his outward gentleman self, he's also very smart , but he was better as a friend than a boyfriend, he's a nice guy , the only thing we haven't done is sex and my friends have warned me non-stop to not try it coz it might be what he wanted , omo I just weak , honestly if I knew sooner it would've been easier to leave, now its like if I leave it'll be like I left coz I don't love him or I left because he's broke but we can't just be like that na

All the things u mentioned are nice bt not enough for Smtn serious. Commitment goes beyond funny jokes. If sm1 loves u they don’t need sex to show or prove it to u. Love is selfless to a large extent. And sex isn’t love. In other words there’s nothing memorable he has done bedsides being funny?? Ok

If he can’t move a finger for u he’s probably not serious about u. Point blank. If u want to waste ur time any further ure free.

I’m not going to say if he loves u or not bt the doubts are very strong.

1 Like

Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by emmaodet: 1:49am On Dec 19, 2020
chinchonglee:

Exactly!!
This has been my thoughts since i read the topic.
because she lost money to scammer, the innocent boyfriend will now suffer
Men dey suffer.
Women will lose money and leave their boyfriends
Men will lose money their girlfriends will leave them.
Nature is so unfair to men

grin

Chaii
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by emmaodet: 1:59am On Dec 19, 2020
Lucyspa:



Babe, u re a girl, so u have inner instincts that speak to you in times of troubles. The main reason you even came here to talk about this issue is because it is bothering you already and that is not a good sign. A man who loves will willingly do things for you without you having to ask. I don't think that man loves you to be honest. I've been in this sort of situation before and it didn't take long before i broke up with him. That relationship made me unhappy and constantly tired. Infact, before i broke up with him, i started dating this guy that spoilt me silly and i became happy. The greatest need of an average Nigerian guy in a relationship is SEX while that of a woman is constant care and money. If you constantly give a man sex while he doesn't give u care and money, u will be unhappy like u are now. U can talk to him and see his reply. If he doesn't give you a reasonable reply, prepare ur mind for a breakup

Nawaaaaaa for nija relationship.
Money for hand, back for ground pattern.
I pity men wey dey carry relationship for head like gala.
Las las, everybody go dey ok
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by emmaodet: 2:03am On Dec 19, 2020
pcguru1:
First question I will ask how old are you if you are below 25, he doesn't owe you much because chances are it might bad investment, but if it's fiancee as in Partner level then that's a bad sign. Support between partners is always a key in a healthy relationship, else na just mind games and everyone being calculated. But I have no experience in struggling relationships, my honest opinion you should be single and developing yourself , it's very scary in Lagos to be on the low income status it is not comfortable if you are very young break up and chase something financially worthwhile better to cry in Air conditioner and streaming porn in HD than being broke both figuratively and financially.






And don't you think it will even be worse to still cry in poverty after all your efforts chasing money yet not making it and without a reasonable relationship also?
There is no guarantee of even living a good life if you break up and go solo.
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by samwise180(m): 2:35am On Dec 19, 2020
Only when you love him you let him go
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by focus7: 3:12am On Dec 19, 2020
Danyyyyyyyyyyy:
So we've been together for some months, almost a year now and well my current financial state is making me have doubts about our relationship, he's also not stable according to him but a lot of times I doubt that even if he was he probably won't tell me, or he'll leave me to do it all.

I don't demand anything from him, he's not my dad, I loved him so I always try to act like a grown woman even when I need help, but after losing sooooo much money in a scam I'm so broke that I barely have money to eat. He knows this but he didn't do anything to help, that's how I've been living like I'm single. I do every thing for myself but it's not been easy.

Do you think it's okay to let him go and focus on me? Because I really don't understand his role in my life anymore, or should I try to wait while working and see if he's different in the future?

Let the irresponsible guy go, a man need to care for his lady or at least show concern when doesn't have
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by cooooooks(m): 3:43am On Dec 19, 2020
What is the connection between 'deducing' a partner's problems and being born in this generation?

Sixfeetbelle:


What's the connection between 'sensing' when things aren't alright with your partner and women working?
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by kepstone: 5:33am On Dec 19, 2020
Honestly I am afraid to get into relationship with a Nigerian Girl of this generation. Relationship has become so transactional were if you don't have the true colour of a lady comes out. What is relationship? In Nigeria it's money and sex. There exceptional ladies, but I have never met one. I am in a situation right now we're my girl is walking away from me despite all I have done. One Left me like that after payment of school fees and helping her get skills. Guyz please let's wisen up before we keep falling into this so call scam called love. The only person you are obligated to take care of is your wife, your sister and mum. I don't comprehend this entitled mentality of our ladies towards money. That's how they leave their God ordained spouse and marry the wrong person cause of money. Please walk out of his life and count your loss Opp it seems your love for him can't be sustained except you benefit. I agree no matter how small a guy should do and show concern for his girl. But trust me nobody owes you anything in this world especially money. You have to figure your way out and work your self up the ladder. After my experience I will never again involved money in relationship again. My friend got married after 3 years of dating his girl and never gave her a dime she was rather the one giving him cash. Today he has given her over 12m in cash to just keep for herself. Most of our ladies are parasitic, finding a wife in Nigeria is truly hard. Everything now is money money money
Please just walk away out of his life and let him meet the one meant for him you have tried .

2 Likes

Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Kalatium(m): 7:17am On Dec 19, 2020
Zzor:
As you were forming independent he got used to not helping you, move on he does not cherish you
This is the repercussions of claiming an independent woman. She will just die in silence.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Nobody: 7:23am On Dec 19, 2020
emmaodet:


And don't you think it will even be worse to still cry in poverty after all your efforts chasing money yet not making it and without a reasonable relationship also?
There is no guarantee of even living a good life if you break up and go solo.

I guess it depends on the partner I have, if she's very understanding but I believe a smart person can never go broke for long.
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Lucyspa: 7:23am On Dec 19, 2020
Danyyyyyyyyyyy:

Well he confided in me sometime that his business wasn't going so well, And it was bothering him , I was able to get some of my friends to help out , and they did , he appreciated it of course, during this time I was okay at my own side , I was trying to refer him around too, so now I got quite unlucky and I literally fell out of balance, I exhausted everyone on my emergency help list before I swallowed my pride and revealed my unpleasant situation to him, we talked about it , but after the talk he left me to my fate , I didn't bother asking him about it , I still managed but something serious happened and I needed whatever it was I could get , after disturbing ppl as usual I came to him and told him what happened , I can't give details here , he did not even budge , he just asked this and that and then avoided it , which is why I felt like maybe now that I'm weak I should stay away and fix myself, I find it hard because I really love him a lot but it seems so....wrong



HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. IT'S A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW BUT BABE, IT'S THE TRUTH. BETTER JAPA NOW. MAKE NOBODY USE YOU OOOO.
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Lucyspa: 7:30am On Dec 19, 2020
jaxxy:


All the things u mentioned are nice bt not enough for Smtn serious. Commitment goes beyond funny jokes. If sm1 loves u they don’t need sex to show or prove it to u. Love is selfless to a large extent. And sex isn’t love. In other words there’s nothing memorable he has done bedsides being funny?? Ok

If he can’t move a finger for u he’s probably not serious about u. Point blank. If u want to waste ur time any further ure free.

I’m not going to say if he loves u or not bt the doubts are very strong.


Am so happy u re telling her the truth unlike the other guys that are bashing her and telling her lies ontop of it all. The guy doesn't like her. Forget all his talks about wanting a girlfriend who is an asset rather than a liability. If he sees a slay queen that he loves, he will squander all his money on her and even borrow to top it all just to impress her.

1 Like

Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by Lucyspa: 7:32am On Dec 19, 2020
emmaodet:


Nawaaaaaa for nija relationship.
Money for hand, back for ground pattern.
I pity men wey dey carry relationship for head like gala.
Las las, everybody go dey ok


Yes ooo. Learnt bitterly after my first experience.
Re: Should I Let Him Go Or Should I Stay And Try? by unmask: 7:36am On Dec 19, 2020
Danyyyyyyyyyyy:
So we've been together for some months, almost a year now and well my current financial state is making me have doubts about our relationship, he's also not stable according to him but a lot of times I doubt that even if he was he probably won't tell me, or he'll leave me to do it all.

I don't demand anything from him, he's not my dad, I loved him so I always try to act like a grown woman even when I need help, but after losing sooooo much money in a scam I'm so broke that I barely have money to eat. He knows this but he didn't do anything to help, that's how I've been living like I'm single. I do every thing for myself but it's not been easy.

Do you think it's okay to let him go and focus on me? Because I really don't understand his role in my life anymore, or should I try to wait while working and see if he's different in the future?
are you asking if you should focus on yourself? Really?

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