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Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by olawumi171(f): 1:06pm On Dec 21, 2020
Gudafternun nairalander,pls pardon my mistakes in dis write up and your sincere advice will be appreciated
It has always be my prayer to settle down maritally before my 30,am 27yrs old,am a lady who believe in having a source of income before thinking of marriage and also worked for watever stuff l needed ,l dont wait for any guys am a teacher and presently am an investor,Now where l needed advice is l met a guy last week,but we were able to meet yesterday, so during d discussion,he said he has no intention of getting married in d next 5 oryrs to come,dat he doesn't want to be caged, and what he need is a relationship where both him and the lady will just discuss about school or work,what we are actually talking about his work and family and mine also,before he said dat,so before l left, he asked me to be his girlfriend,but l told him dat l will reply him later,,so yesterday evening l called him and explained myself to him,but wat surprised me and confused me,is d message he sent this morning where he said he is getting attached and probably falling in love with me, pls what should l do now,don't know the reply to give him,when l told him my age,and told him ,what has been my desire from God,he said we dont know what the future hold,dat we should start somewhere,pls what should l do,should l accept his proposal and hope for the future as he said or l should declined,l dont just know ,he called not quite long begging me for a chance.
MODIFIED:l just want to say a big thank you for the comments.
So today l went his house,talked and followed the advice here,and l told him l dont wanna av sex,d guy change am for me and said y cant he av sex with me ,wen are dating or wen l come to his house and cook for him without even considering y l said no sex..Na so l carried my body leave his house and blocked his number,definitely he is after what he will get from me..Thanks Nairalanders
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by BigDick70inch(m): 1:10pm On Dec 21, 2020
olawumi171:
Gudafternun nairalander,pls pardon my mistakes in dis write up and your sincere advice will be appreciated
It has always be my prayer to settle down maritally before my 30,am 27yrs old,am a lady who believe in having a source of income before thinking of marriage and also worked for watever stuff l needed ,l dont wait for any guys am a teacher and presently am an investor,Now where l needed advice is l met a guy last week,but we were able to meet yesterday, so during d discussion,he said he has no intention of getting married in d next 5 oryrs to come,dat he doesn't want to be caged, and what he need is a relationship where both him and the lady will just discuss about school or work,what we are actually talking about his work and family and mine also,before he said dat,so before l left, he asked me to be his girlfriend,but l told him dat l will reply him later,,so yesterday evening l called him and explained myself to him,but wat surprised me and confused me,is d message he sent this morning where he said he is getting attached and probably falling in love with me, pls what should l do now,don't know the reply to give him,when l told him my age,and told him ,what has been my desire from God,he said we dont know what the future hold,dat we should start somewhere,pls what should l do,should l accept his proposal and hope for the future as he said or l should declined,l dont just know ,he called not quite long begging me for a chance

Honestly....... I will say u should give the guy a Chance.....but then use yo brain while doing that....

Him telling u he doesnt wanna get married might....be due to the toxic relationship/heartbreaks he suffered.....

See guys....are unpredictable Ooo...I once told a girl i'd rather have a baby mama dan getting married........but see me today I'm deeply in love with same girl.........and I hope one day I get married..........

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by enilola5: 1:11pm On Dec 21, 2020
I don't think he is ready .. he jst needed a lady to lash at will... Jst move on n remain prayerful.. I am sure your choice of man will come around.

5 Likes

Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by ShenTeh(m): 1:15pm On Dec 21, 2020
Give him a chance.

Delay sex. True intentions will come forth. Your friendship would let you know if you are compatible and can make something eternal.

Don't pressurize yourself by marriage timeline you have set for yourself, it will not only cloud your judgement but will also be putting people around you under undue pressure.

But don't get carried away. People can say anything to get the cookies.

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by WeNoGoDie(m): 1:31pm On Dec 21, 2020
If YOU EVER DECIDE TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE, BY ALL MEANS MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOU WON'T ALLOW SEX WITH HIM AND KEEP IT THAT WAY.

A man that clearly told you he isn't getting married in the next 5 years and after 2 days says he's in love with you is highly suspicious.

That's probably his sex tactic and if you complain afterwards he'll tell you he already warned you earlier that he wasn't getting married in 5 years.

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by olawumi171(f): 1:48pm On Dec 21, 2020
enilola5:
I don't think he is ready .. he jst needed a lady to lash at will... Jst move on n remain prayerful.. I am sure your choice of man will come around.
Thank you sir

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by olawumi171(f): 1:49pm On Dec 21, 2020
WeNoGoDie:
If YOU EVER DECIDE TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE, BY ALL MEANS MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOU WON'T ALLOW SEX WITH HIM AND KEEP IT THAT WAY.

A man that clearly told you he isn't getting married in the next 5 years and after 2 days says he's in love with you is highly suspicious.

That's probably his sex tactic and if you complain afterwards he'll tell you he already warned you earlier that he wasn't getting married in 5 years.
ok sir,,l love this ,will do so..Thanks

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by olawumi171(f): 1:50pm On Dec 21, 2020
ShenTeh:
Give him a chance.

Delay sex. True intentions will come forth. Your friendship would let you know if you are compatible and can make something eternal.

Don't pressurize yourself by marriage timeline you have set for yourself, it will not only cloud your judgement but will also be putting people around you under undue pressure.

But don't get carried away. People can say anything to get the cookies.
God bless,l will sir
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by olawumi171(f): 1:53pm On Dec 21, 2020
BigDick70inch:


Honestly....... I will say u should give the guy a Chance.....but then use yo brain while doing that....

Him telling u he doesnt wanna get married might....be due to the toxic relationship/heartbreaks he suffered.....

See guys....are unpredictable Ooo...I once told a girl i'd rather have a baby mama dan getting married........but see me today I'm deeply in love with same girl.........and I hope one day I get married..........
Thank you sir,l appreciate it

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by Angelacruz: 2:51pm On Dec 21, 2020
Since he said he does not wat to settle down in d next five yrs,kindly move on.He just wat to get his own share .He is not falling in love but lust.
olawumi171:
Gudafternun nairalander,pls pardon my mistakes in dis write up and your sincere advice will be appreciated
It has always be my prayer to settle down maritally before my 30,am 27yrs old,am a lady who believe in having a source of income before thinking of marriage and also worked for watever stuff l needed ,l dont wait for any guys am a teacher and presently am an investor,Now where l needed advice is l met a guy last week,but we were able to meet yesterday, so during d discussion,he said he has no intention of getting married in d next 5 oryrs to come,dat he doesn't want to be caged, and what he need is a relationship where both him and the lady will just discuss about school or work,what we are actually talking about his work and family and mine also,before he said dat,so before l left, he asked me to be his girlfriend,but l told him dat l will reply him later,,so yesterday evening l called him and explained myself to him,but wat surprised me and confused me,is d message he sent this morning where he said he is getting attached and probably falling in love with me, pls what should l do now,don't know the reply to give him,when l told him my age,and told him ,what has been my desire from God,he said we dont know what the future hold,dat we should start somewhere,pls what should l do,should l accept his proposal and hope for the future as he said or l should declined,l dont just know ,he called not quite long begging me for a chance
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by olawumi171(f): 2:54pm On Dec 21, 2020
Angelacruz:
Since he said he does not wat to settle down in d next five yrs,kindly move on.He just wat to get his own share .He is not falling in love but lust.
Thank you
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by Nobody: 2:54pm On Dec 21, 2020
All these unmarried people above me sha grin

Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by Angelacruz: 2:55pm On Dec 21, 2020
Uwc
olawumi171:
Thank you

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by hashtagged(m): 3:19pm On Dec 21, 2020
Don't ever follow a man who's goals dosent match your own, you are 27 if you date this guy there is a high chance he won't marry you in 3yrs time since he says he doesn't like marriage.

The true fact is he wants to sleep with you and go, that's the truth if he doesn't Wana marry you and you want marriage why are you dating him.
But If you don't Wana marry date him then
And what were you doing from 23-27?

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by zed7: 3:33pm On Dec 21, 2020
I hate when people don't know what they want for themselves. You want marriage soon, the man doesn't, it means you are not on the same page.
When you start dating tomorrow and mention marriage, he will call you desperate. You end up wasting your time and feeling used. Why bother then? Better move on now.
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by NiRfreak(m): 3:44pm On Dec 21, 2020
olawumi171:
Gudafternun nairalander,pls pardon my mistakes in dis write up and your sincere advice will be appreciated
It has always be my prayer to settle down maritally before my 30,am 27yrs old,am a lady who believe in having a source of income before thinking of marriage and also worked for watever stuff l needed ,l dont wait for any guys am a teacher and presently am an investor,Now where l needed advice is l met a guy last week,but we were able to meet yesterday, so during d discussion,he said he has no intention of getting married in d next 5 oryrs to come,dat he doesn't want to be caged, and what he need is a relationship where both him and the lady will just discuss about school or work,what we are actually talking about his work and family and mine also,before he said dat,so before l left, he asked me to be his girlfriend,but l told him dat l will reply him later,,so yesterday evening l called him and explained myself to him,but wat surprised me and confused me,is d message he sent this morning where he said he is getting attached and probably falling in love with me, pls what should l do now,don't know the reply to give him,when l told him my age,and told him ,what has been my desire from God,he said we dont know what the future hold,dat we should start somewhere,pls what should l do,should l accept his proposal and hope for the future as he said or l should declined,l dont just know ,he called not quite long begging me for a chance

Play some hard to get to try and see how serious he is. A serious guy will try to win you, and along the line don't let him fvvck u. Such guy will want to quickly convert you into his fvvcking plate.

if he he fvvcks u easily and he dint have the intention to be serious, he may kuku no get serious. So try and delay him a bit to see his serious, though play along but while playing along, Play a little hard to get, don't take him serious, and don't allow sex until he shows some consistencies and seriousness.. otherwise, your pvvsy will just suffer and he moves to the next babe...As u play along with him, get yourself open to other guys too...the most serious should take the trophy.
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by adesanmi21418: 7:38pm On Dec 21, 2020
I don't think he is ready .. he jst needed a lady to lash at will... Jst move on n remain prayerful.. I am sure your choice of man will come around.
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by jelel6: 9:05pm On Dec 21, 2020
Since both of you have been very forthright with your plans in the next 5 years so soon, I don't see the source of your confusion.

If you stick with your initial plans, he won't be ready for two years still. Don't date him now if you're not okay with the possibility he won't marry you until the 5 years he intended from now.

If you're dead serious about marrying in 5 years time, the pragmatic approach is to forget this guy since he said he's not ready before 5 years. You'll only succeed in tying yourself down dating that long.

So, wait everyday for someone who's ready for marriage instead of dating Mr. and stop searching for the next 5 years. B

Besides, I find it amusing he's saying he loves you so soon grin. Babes, na guys format be dat or love happens that quickly ?
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by olawumi171(f): 1:22pm On Dec 23, 2020
jelel6:
Since both of you have been very forthright with your plans in the next 5 years so soon, I don't see the source of your confusion.

If you stick with your initial plans, he won't be ready for two years still. Don't date him now if you're not okay with the possibility he won't marry you until the 5 years he intended from now.

If you're dead serious about marrying in 5 years time, the pragmatic approach is to forget this guy since he said he's not ready before 5 years. You'll only succeed in tying yourself down dating that long.

So, wait everyday for someone who's ready for marriage instead of dating Mr. and stop searching for the next 5 years. B

Besides, I find it amusing he's saying he loves you so soon grin. Babes, na guys format be dat or love happens that quickly ?
l was even surprised wen he said ,he getting attracted to me sef,all the same thank you
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by Rebekah029(f): 2:19pm On Dec 23, 2020
Guy man wan chop clean mouth....God punish satan !
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by Kapilta(m): 2:25pm On Dec 23, 2020
My g wanna hit grin You claim to be 27 yet your brain (i don't wanna describe it sha). The devil introduced himself to you as the devil buh because he said he can make your life beautiful nonetheless, you rushed here to come seek advice if you should go with him or nay. No be you get your puna ni? Afterall no be say you be virgin and no be say d guy wan build house on top the thing, he just wan mark register. After he don discard you, abeg me too i'm falling for you, you see i'm also begging, please give me a chance too. Let me too mark my own register in peace.
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by fuckaholic25(f): 2:35pm On Dec 23, 2020
see, be blunt about it... tell him u need someone that you wanna spend the rest of your life wit not lovey dovey, his reaction will definitely tell what he has in mind!!! coz if u agree to be his gf, u would one day give in to sex and when he is done, he will begin to act up!!! don't let those words hold u down o... I pray u find someone for u!!!
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by Crunchyg2: 2:36pm On Dec 23, 2020
olawumi171:
Gudafternun nairalander,pls pardon my mistakes in dis write up and your sincere advice will be appreciated
It has always be my prayer to settle down maritally before my 30,am 27yrs old,am a lady who believe in having a source of income before thinking of marriage and also worked for watever stuff l needed ,l dont wait for any guys am a teacher and presently am an investor,Now where l needed advice is l met a guy last week,but we were able to meet yesterday, so during d discussion,he said he has no intention of getting married in d next 5 oryrs to come,dat he doesn't want to be caged, and what he need is a relationship where both him and the lady will just discuss about school or work,what we are actually talking about his work and family and mine also,before he said dat,so before l left, he asked me to be his girlfriend,but l told him dat l will reply him later,,so yesterday evening l called him and explained myself to him,but wat surprised me and confused me,is d message he sent this morning where he said he is getting attached and probably falling in love with me, pls what should l do now,don't know the reply to give him,when l told him my age,and told him ,what has been my desire from God,he said we dont know what the future hold,dat we should start somewhere,pls what should l do,should l accept his proposal and hope for the future as he said or l should declined,l dont just know ,he called not quite long begging me for a chance
April this year you were dating a lawyer that wanted you to see his family and was ready for marriage, you no gree, now you want to date another guy who is not ready for marriage in 5 years time and you are here asking for suggestion. Please what do women really want?
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by toye440: 5:06pm On Dec 23, 2020
fuckaholic25:
see, be blunt about it... tell him u need someone that you wanna spend the rest of your life wit not lovey dovey, his reaction will definitely tell what he has in mind!!! coz if u agree to be his gf, u would one day give in to sex and when he is done, he will begin to act up!!! don't let those words hold u down o... I pray u find someone for u!!!
I once offered modestgirl this lifeline and i will hand her a chance only if she's ready. If U Olawumi71 really wants to marry before 30 i can make it next year only if u meet my conditions cos i cant come and marry trouble. mail me lets see if we are compartible.
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by olawumi171(f): 6:12pm On Dec 23, 2020
toye440:
I once offered modestgirl this lifeline and i will hand her a chance only if she's ready. If U Olawumi71 really wants to marry before 30 i can make it next year only if u meet my conditions cos i cant come and marry trouble. mail me lets see if we are compartible.
grin lipsrsealed shocked
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by olawumi171(f): 6:13pm On Dec 23, 2020
Crunchyg2:

April this year you were dating a lawyer that wanted you to see his family and was ready for marriage, you no gree, now you want to date another guy who is not ready for marriage in 5 years time and you are here asking for suggestion. Please what do women really want?
,thanks for digging it out,
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by olawumi171(f): 6:13pm On Dec 23, 2020
fuckaholic25:
see, be blunt about it... tell him u need someone that you wanna spend the rest of your life wit not lovey dovey, his reaction will definitely tell what he has in mind!!! coz if u agree to be his gf, u would one day give in to sex and when he is done, he will begin to act up!!! don't let those words hold u down o... I pray u find someone for u!!!
,God bless u sir
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by toye440: 8:08pm On Dec 23, 2020
olawumi171:
grin lipsrsealed shocked
No Msg
Re: Advice Needed,before Taking The Wrong Decison by Tohsynetita1: 11:36pm On Dec 23, 2020
olawumi171:
Gudafternun nairalander,pls pardon my mistakes in dis write up and your sincere advice will be appreciated
It has always be my prayer to settle down maritally before my 30,am 27yrs old,am a lady who believe in having a source of income before thinking of marriage and also worked for watever stuff l needed ,l dont wait for any guys am a teacher and presently am an investor,Now where l needed advice is l met a guy last week,but we were able to meet yesterday, so during d discussion,he said he has no intention of getting married in d next 5 oryrs to come,dat he doesn't want to be caged, and what he need is a relationship where both him and the lady will just discuss about school or work,what we are actually talking about his work and family and mine also,before he said dat,so before l left, he asked me to be his girlfriend,but l told him dat l will reply him later,,so yesterday evening l called him and explained myself to him,but wat surprised me and confused me,is d message he sent this morning where he said he is getting attached and probably falling in love with me, pls what should l do now,don't know the reply to give him,when l told him my age,and told him ,what has been my desire from God,he said we dont know what the future hold,dat we should start somewhere,pls what should l do,should l accept his proposal and hope for the future as he said or l should declined,l dont just know ,he called not quite long begging me for a chance.
MODIFIED:l just want to say a big thank you for the comments.
So today l went his house,talked and followed the advice here,and l told him l dont wanna av sex,d guy change am for me and said y cant he av sex with me ,wen are dating or wen l come to his house and cook for him without even considering y l said no sex..Na so l carried my body leave his house and blocked his number,definitely he is after what he will get from me..Thanks Nairalanders

I don't know, what we males desire so much in sex,dating should be a period of thorough knowing each other to the extent that you can say almost anything about such person, who knows if he's a robber, you don't know him, and he doesn't either, if you had sex, who knows if he's an STDs carrier, in fact I cry for our generation. There was a girl that I had in university, she was my best female friend, she loves me till the extent that she knows my phone number off hand and I don't know hers,when she told me I was like nawa o, this girl done love me totally, we can talk for 4hrs during midnight calls, I know her parents, their work,the food choice,pedigree,favourite food,colour, hates,loves, even hairstyle. We were not dating, but I had feelings for her and she did then,she do come to my house and I do go to her hostel, we were very close to the extent that everybody believes we are dating. There was a time in 100l that she removes her Cardigan and give me, also a time I was sweating and she started fanning me. During all this relationship, we've not even hug before. The greatest thing we did was probably hold her hand. We love each other but I didn't propose, was just a friend, it got to stage that she started backing out. I noticed it but the reason for not proposing is that I want to face my studies first, so at finals, another friend of mine told me to define my relationship with her so as not to be rejecting other people's proposals. Before doing that I went to my spiritual father first, he's a prophet and a clairvoyance (a seer), the first statement he told me was there was a girl that we were closed , and am thinking of marrying her, he said we cannot marry each other, he said this without even telling him why I came there. I went to another prophetess, she prayed and said same thing, then I noticed that there's no way.
I felt like committing suicide, the love is too much,and am the type that I don't undergo multi dating, I date a person at a time, I hate it.
Then I invited her for lunch, she rejected, from the rejection, I knew the lady is no longer interested. I asked her why didn't she come, she said she was busy, I then confirmed the rejection. I then went to her hostel to ask her out, and she said she's dating someone already. I got home and was weeping and Thanking God. I don't want to leave her but not God's will. She's married now. She married immediately after NYSC. I pray for God to give me someone better than her. In fact I feel like weeping again.
Assuming we've had sex now, who knows the curse that might be on my destiny.
It's high time people date to know each other, ask questions, talk together, don't be fed up of talking, it's a period to study each other both secretly and openly. Ask anything you want to ask, in fact have stylishly asked for her genotype and is compatible with mine.
Dating should be a period to ask questions, pray, know each other, and not sex.
This generation has missed it honestly.

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