TemiBami2020:


This happened since November.

Since November? I hope you have gone to the police. And can you drop your number so I can pass it across to a human rights personnel?

greatness77:
keep quiet, that comment can trigger suicide nawa for some people

Greatness77... E be like say bomb dey ur head abi idiot.. .. Fuccking simp...

TemiBami2020:
Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.

Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers

He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.

I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?


Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

some people are very wicked how will someone be supporting this kind of crime against this lady, d man is wicked and should be treated as a kidnapper, nigeria is a country where woman doesn't have single right, madam take heart your hubby is just a bestial man, go to twitter make a post about it and tag British embassy to nigeria and also NPF stop bringing your problems to nairaland because they can make u commit suicide, I cried when I started reading their comments

magkhan:


This is relative really. A man can be a bad husband but a good father. The two roles are mutually exclusive.

@ poster I know you are hurt but look on the bright side, [b]if they are truly in the UK don’t do anything to sabotage that move and bring them back to this Nigeria. They have a better future in UK than in Nigeria. [/b]If he is a good father and you know they’ll be fine with him, as painful as it can be, let them stay in UK with him. You look for a way to negotiate constant communication with them to stay in touch that’s paramount.

Then take the separation to develop yourself, I mean you’ve been given a ticket out of a bad marriage. Channel the pain and heartbreak to pursue success. Your kids will ALWAYS remain your kids. And who says you can’t relocate yourself to UK to be close to your kids?. Hopefully you are an independent woman. You can achieve a lot if you set your mind to it. But really don’t drag those kids back to Nigeria.

You think she cares? She sound like she has a crab bucket syndrome.

https://www.reunite.org/

@TemiBami2020

You should contact that charity, they may be able to help you.

Elzakzaky:

Bros, its obvious she was a bad wife. Did you not see the adjectives she used to qualify the father of her 3 kids?

She was the one married to him. She knows him more than we do. Besides, someone who took away the kids without their mothers knowledge is a kidnapper.

Zzor:
For the man to have successfully execute his plans without the slightest idea from her speaks volume, I'm not justifying the husband's actions but won't condemn it either.

The Crime deserves condemnation and punishment.

Kudos to your husband if he actually left with his kids to UK. At least that tells us to some level that he is responsible.

How he planned it and you didn't suspect anything still beats my imagination.

I also want to believe he is closer to the kids than you were for him to pull such a stunt without any of the kids hinting you.

Back to you.
Shit happens in life. If you believe he would be able to take care of the kids I would suggest you take a deep breath and relax for the seek of your mental health. with the level of responsibility he has displayed somewhere along the line he would look for you.

If he actually travelled to the UK and you have the authorities returned the kids back to Nigeria I have the feeling that when the kids grow up they would hold it against you knowing fully well that they would have been at a place that offer an opportunity for a better life but you denied them that. (My dad did that to me and till date our relationship has never been the same).

Lastly
Forget all my grammar I believe your husband is within the shores of Nigeria.

Less I forget, you are not a bad wife and his not a bad husband you guys just haven't found a way to resolve your difference.

Tools4sale:


Greatness77... E be like say bomb dey ur head abi idiot.. .. Fuccking simp...

u doesn't have conscience at all u can go ahead and insult yourself ok

Mynd44:

The Crime deserves condemnation and punishment.

Nigeria seems so bad that our people do not understand what a crime is anymore.

greatness77:
some people are very wicked how will someone be supporting this kind of crime against this lady, d man is wicked and should be treated as a kidnapper, nigeria is a country where woman doesn't have single right, madam take heart your hubby is just a bestial man, go to twitter make a post about it and tag British embassy to nigeria and also NPF stop bringing your problems to nairaland because they can make u commit suicide, I cried when I started reading their comments

What exactly do you want to achieve? Bring them all back to shithole?
If you see who will kidnap you to a functioning country I bet you will be thankful and your parents will send ransome for them to keep you there. Let her be wise with her approach, kids will grow and come for her.

TemiBami2020:


They left Nigeria for the UK. His brother said he was able to reach him and he said he's not out for divorce. But I know the deceptive part of him. I lived with him for 10years.I just didn't know he could pull this kind of stunt.

10 years and yet he was able to pull off this feat right under your nose. You did not travel. You went to work. Your attention was obviously not in your marriage and family. This sort of family coup cannot be pulled off under the nose of a husband or wife who is attentive to the atmosphere in the home.

It might be the best option

Or have you not read the post how the man kill the full family and himself



Women should give there husband peace of mind

TemiBami2020:
Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.

Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers

He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.

I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?


Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

So sad

TemiBami2020:


They left Nigeria for the UK. His brother said he was able to reach him and he said he's not out for divorce. But I know the deceptive part of him. I lived with him for 10years.I just didn't know he could pull this kind of stunt.

They may be in Nigeria but he wants you to give up on looking for them. People don't just wake up one day and travel to the UK. Was there any sign that he was making such preparations? Do your children have int'l passports? Was there a time he was taking them out without you? Could he have told your children not to tell their mummy where they went to? Think very well before you start looking for what is not in the UK.

In Marriage no one is perfect. God go epp our women of this days o hmm.. like my brother in law do say "u can't satisfy a woman" whether u good or not ehn woman go still find one reason to nail u..aye obirin ni okunrin wa...the scripture pointed it out already, if u know Eve (inside Bible), tell am sey she no do well o.. congrats madam , when ur children turn citizens, Dem go come pick u

[......

GboyegaD:


It is a two way street. There's also the tendency of them ending up as nuisance. Remember he needs work harder to give them the life he wants which could mean he might not have adequate time to raise them..

They can also end up as nuisance in Nigeria.

For the man to have done this, he planned adequately for it. Raising them might not be an issue. There really are good fathers.

Good parent can turn bad parent. She is not there to monitor whether he will remain a good parent.

You don't know if he is shackled up with one of those crazy London women. Who spends time with them when he is away at work? What if they want to talk to their mother? What about her wanting to speak to the kids she nurtured?

A good father will not pull that stunt unless his wife is psycho. The promise of a better life isn't enough to let a child three children go.

magkhan:


This is relative really. A man can be a bad husband but a good father. The two roles are mutually exclusive.

@ poster I know you are hurt but look on the bright side, if they are truly in the UK don’t do anything to sabotage that move and bring them back to this Nigeria. They have a better future in UK than in Nigeria. If he is a good father and you know they’ll be fine with him, as painful as it can be, let them stay in UK with him. You look for a way to negotiate constant communication with them to stay in touch that’s paramount.

Then take the separation to develop yourself, I mean you’ve been given a ticket out of a bad marriage. Channel the pain and heartbreak to pursue success. Your kids will ALWAYS remain your kids. And who says you can’t relocate yourself to UK to be close to your kids?. Hopefully you are an independent woman. You can achieve a lot if you set your mind to it. But really don’t drag those kids back to Nigeria.

GboyegaD:


She was the one married to him. She knows him more than we do. Besides, someone who took away the kids without their mothers knowledge is a kidnapper.

I will put it this way. Children are naturally closer to their mothers than their fathers in most cases. I cannot fathom how this was pulled off without any of the kids even hinting her that something was in the offing. This was not an overnight move. It takes weeks (if not months) of planning to pull this off.

Auntie, Your children didn't tell you about going to NIS office for passport and embassy for VISA.

You must a witch and devils incarnate.

DEVIL DEY FEAR YOU.

stagger:


I will put it this way. Children are naturally closer to their mothers than their fathers in most cases. I cannot fathom how this was pulled off without any of the kids even hinting her that something was in the offing. This was not an overnight move. It takes weeks (if not months) of planning to pull this off.

Because the kids do not need to appear at an interview so they don't need to know anything about the process. We do not know if they had a passport before now and besides, they are below 10 so might not even know where their dad took them to process their international passport.

I planned on doing same after the hell my wife gave me in our years of marriage, the reality is that I didn't have means of relocating abroad but did it locally and she was running crazy, took a lot of pleadings and conditions from our religious leaders for me to reconsider. I took my annual leave from my place of work and I ensured that the kids didn't miss her by giving them the best of time.

Whenever a woman mentions they are facing the usual ups and downs like in every marriage, know that her husband is living in hell, for the kids to gladly join him means he is a good father and she is a bad wife.
Notice that no member of her husband's family confided in her about his plans, it means that they are happy that their brother can have some peace outside of her delinquency same way it happened to my wife

It's a pity he do to you what you ALWAYS threaten to do to him. Pray for them and move on with your life. Your children will surely come back for you. Don't do anything that will make authorities deport or deal with him and the children. Consider your children with him

Let me tell you my life story, last year I was on my 6 months IT in Warri refinery where my Dad is a staff, my mom died when I was 6 and I have 3 younger siblings (step brother and sisters but you won’t notice because of the love we have for each other) . But unfortunately there mom and my Dad had to part ways because she couldn’t leave her business in port harcourt to base in Warri when my Dad was transferred there. So since my younger ones were still tender my Dad remarried a Warri woman but before the marriage she was nice and supportive but the moment she was married she started acting up and misbehaving. My Dad gave her a check of 1million in my presence to open a business close to the house and stock it very well but instead she opened a beer parlor after assuring my Dad she will open a provision shop and stock it like a mini supermarket. Fast forward to 4 years and she was still into the beer business and she closes late like 10pm after leaving home in the morning by 8 after my Dad leaves with me for IT by 7am but my Dad closes by 12 just to come hope and cook for my siblings because according to my step mom she was too busy with her business to cook. I kept wondering why my Dad is patiently cooking and not complaining about her considering the fact that he is hot tempered .


I never knew my Dad has a plan already coincidentally his retirement and my end of IT was in same month.

After I completed my IT my Dad retired but kept mute and she didn’t know he had retired and he even cooks and drive to her beer parlor to give her where she will be sitting and laughing with different men.

I had already finished my IT and my Dad retired too but we keep dressing every morning and and going out as usual as if we were going to our place of work then I never knew my Dad’s plan until he drove me somewhere in NNPC club where we got drinking, I drink a lot but my dad thought I was innocent to to him he is the first person to give me alcohol , mind you i was 23 years then. And drinking our beer he made one last call and all I heard was wait for me outside Refinery gate and he drove there lo and behold a very big truck that can be used to carry relieve material for displaced people. He drove ahead while the truck driver drove behind. We went straight to my siblings school and picked them up then we headed home where we packed everything and drove immediately to ph ( Eleme ). It was around 11pm she started calling and when we were already in our house but my Dad ordered my not to pick and he didn’t pick too .

For The 1million my Dad gave her to start the business she never for 1 days cook from it , even when my dad traveled and the money he dropped was exhausted she made us drink garri even when I had made millions and when my Dad asked why we had to sip garri as food her response was it’s a man’s responsibility to take care of the family not hers.



My reason for writing this long episode is just to let the OP know that a man can not just run with his children if you have not done anything to made feel you’re no more worthy.


I know my writing is not arranged but I just wanted to make a point[color=#990000][/color]

police eeh... he left for UK forever...must he add "forever"...lol..

Those asking her to forget her kids becsuse they are in th Uk are crazy.
How would anyone advise a woman to forget about her three kids and move on, are you mad?

TemiBami2020:
Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.

Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers

He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.

I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?


Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

So you were threatening to take the kids away from him...well he beat you to your own game.

Enjoy your pain alone!

Ehhh! What had been going btwn it two that your husband couldn't notify you about the migration?

But dnt worry your kids will always come back to as long as he didn't go with them as a toddlers .

You should be happy cos u will not be waking up early again in the morning for now

TemiBami2020:
Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.

Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers

He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.

I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?


Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

Are they British subjects ie hubby and the kids? If they are it is more difficult but still solvable.
If they are not, it's less stressful.
Write the British high commission better still get a lawyer to write. Attach documents ie marriage, birth certificate, police report etc to the petition.
Rest assured, it will be handled asap.