chii8:



In child training,God factor can not also be ignored!Also I noticed that sometimes children has a way of interpreting emotions (pain, sadness),as I have met a very stubborn boy who seems to be defying every discplinary methods I knew,I decided to befriend him and pay closer attention to him,he opened up about his parents, his parents were separated and his father forcefully took him away from his mother at 13years,he wants to go back to his mother but his father won't allow him and his father's new wife was abusive.The boy used stubbornness to wage war against his father and the new wife which was in turn affecting his academics.When I approached the father,he said that the boy's died a year ago and they hid the news from the boy.

Infact it's a long story....so some times, there's a reason a child is actually misbehaving, to you (parents),it might be infinitesimal but to the child, it's a big deal.


By the way,my nairaland first post in 2021

I'm also a child trainer , I'm friendly with kids and employ that method too. I will stop teaching this January to focus on Biz, educators dey suffer for this Una kantry.

oya finish the gist joorr

streetsoldier1:


I'm also a child trainer , a free with you and employ that method too. I will stop teaching this January to focus on Biz, educators dey suffer for this Una kantry.

oya finish the gist joorr

Yeah!!! I agree with the suffering part! Just look for another side hustle, although the area where you work determines your pay,an educator at Ajangbadi,Surulere and Lekki or Ikoyi don't earn same oooo

Kip koboko/pankere in Ur house.if u spare Ur kids,dem go spoil.

It's good to beat a child in a moderate and educating ways.

Yes. Best training method, forget these modern parenting

Lol, and one would wonder why most Nigerians are aggressive in nature. Always quick to resort to violence. What'd you expect when you flogged a child into thinking that the only way to make something right or make correction is through violence and beating?
Most of us were flogged during childhood, but in what way has such method of discipline impacted our society collectively?
They'll say "spare the rod and spoil the child", yet we're being governed and ruled by criminals. The average Nigerian is corrupt...

yes, beating z d way children can be disciplined once they've not matured, but wen such child insist , one should try another of disciplining

When necessary, I will spank to help the child remember not to do what s/he has been forewarned not to a couple of times. It doesn't have to be more than 2-3 strokes.

It not about the child, Rather it's about understanding the utility or functionality of pain.

Pain is like salt..right dosage will give proper taste. Too much will ruined the stew.

Dont be blinded by love in any context.

Yes. Children should be beaten with cane. Foolishness is bound in d heart of a child but the ROD of correction drives it far!!
For all the caning we received as children- did it kill us, do we feel abused having grown up now?
Don't we just make stories of them now?
So I wonder what's all these caning being child abuse narrative came from.
Of course a child also needs to be shown lots of love not just discipline but discipline by caning is quite important

A few spanking does it. I'm an African man!

You must chop beating oh. Know when to flog, when to advise, when to use eye contact to pass a message and when to keep silent. We are Africans

Oh

I beat when it's necessary and not all the time. After they finished crying... I usually explain to them why I gave them such discipline. I do give them free slap at times when I'm broke when they insist on disturbing my relaxation.

chii8:
The thing is that when sanctioning an erring child, there are one million things to do to get them properly disciplined..it varies with each child, you just have to study them and know what works for such child.

I have a 5year old boy that what works for in terms of discipline is just to "quarantine" him(lolzzz),he will promise you heaven and earth just to be free, the thing scares him seriously.I use that to drive a point....I think it's same with every child just as a parent,be patient and fine out what works for that child....

Same for my 5 year old son too. That isolation gets to him more than anything else.

Every son wants to be mentored by his father. He wants to have a special place in his father’s heart. He wants to respect and emulate him. Down deep, he wants to know his father and be as close to him as possible. S. D. Gilbert said it well: “It may be hard on some fathers not to have a son, but it is much harder on a boy not to have a father.”

Yes, but it must be done moderately. There are lot of excessive beatings out there and it has not produce any results in our society. I was telling someone that if beating is the main requirement for raising a child, our society will be better for it.

What we have is excessive spanking which leads to rebellion.

I believe so much in spanking. Atimes back-hand and hand beating. It formats brain. I will warn you like several times about that bad thing but once I make up my mind to pounce on you, you must chop that beating before my body calms down. It works. It makes them run away from that bad thing they are being corrected for because they cant bear the pains from the cane

Everyone shouting no beating here are either forming

if they mean it, then most times those kids turn out to be mannerless in their behaviour to their parents and outsiders. They are the type that talk back at people or respond with their rude body language.

bizme:
I have been involved in quite a number of discussions and debates of this nature where some believe that the only way to bring up children is by beating them. Others believe the opposite is true. I was brought up by parents who considered heavy handedness as a parental virtue and they never spared the rod in dealing with us... I have noticed the same pattern in our educational setting where teachers prefer to communicate their emotion via the cane.
I personally think most of such beating comes from parents' and teachers' inability to rein in their temper, rather than the genuine interest in the child's well being.

I have my little children, and it is not difficult to talk things over with them, and even set up disciplinary measures that don't involve beating.

Looking back over your shoulders, would you say the kind of beating-filled/beating-devoid upbringing you received has affected your relationship with your parents? And would you accept teachers to beat your children anyhow?

I believe I am posting this in the right section.

You correct with the rod or any other means but most people only flog/beat kids with the rod.
Flogging is not the same as correcting with the rod

Beat bastard komot from him/her body sef

CalliDora1:
Why are most people here making it look like you just wake up and start beating a child for no reason? Of course no one in their right senses would do that. However, I feel it's necessary to employ flogging as a measure of correction when a child is being unruly and obstinate. However, temperance should be observed when meting out such punishment.

Children have the tendency to grow wild and beyond control if not tamed in time. I am product of moderate flogging and it has helped shaped my life for the better.

I once left my after school lessons and ran home to watch Robinhood. That day marked the beginning of the end of running away from lessons as my dad flogged the hell out of my body that day. It made me take my studies seriously.

So a little flogging here and there is not bad.

So in summary, if your Parents didn't flog you after skipping school lessons to watch Robin hood, your life would have been wayward by now. Ok.

No!

Do you beat Dog (an animal) to train it?

The way to train a child is Reward good behavior and Punish (non-corporal punishment) for bad behavior.

For the punishment:

Deny them of whatever give them pleasure.

Deny them of their freedom

Deny them of thier rights, benefits and allowance

Ground them

Give them some speech after scolding etc

bizme:
I completely agree with you. My boy too is five years old, and without having to beat him he is a very kind and smart kid.

My parents believed so much in beating and it ended up building a massive distance between them and the kids. We simply got better at hiding our thoughts and actions from them. Having such a distance from by kids is one thing that scares the hell out of me.

Valid point.

It scares the hell out of me too.

I have 9, 7 and 2 years old kids at home.

I need to get close to make the right impression before they clock 12.

May God help me. Amen

Frequently shouting at a child is even worse...many people don't know it

No, for how long will you beat especially after they become adults?

Parents must learn to get to their kids with words alone.

Nigerian parents are terrible at non violent correction communication.

You must take knock or slap or belt or wire but for how long?

My big study Bible is almost two inches thick and it has print that I can actually still read. The publisher laid it out so that the New Testament has 405 pages. The Old Testament comes out to 1344 pages. 936 of those pages relate to the kings. That’s nearly an inch out of my two-inch-thick Bible! Think about this. With the exception of Job (who was actually a king-type, a ruler over his own large and influential family clan), every book from chapter 8 of 1 Samuel until the end of the Old Testament is either about the kings (1 and 2 Samuel, 1 and 2 Kings, 1 and 2 Chronicles), written by a king (Psalms—mostly written by David, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon—written by Solomon), remembering the judgment that came on the nation because of the kings (Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Daniel), or the actual judgments of the prophets spoken to or during the time of the kings (Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi). In other words, these kings were important. The King of Kings put these guys in there on purpose.

skentelelady:
I believe so much in spanking. Atimes back-hand and hand beating. It formats brain. I will warn you like several times about that bad thing but once I make up my mind to pounce on you, you must chop that beating before my body calms down. It works. It makes them run away from that bad thing they are being corrected for because they cant bear the pains from the cane

Everyone shouting no beating here are either forming

if they mean it, then most times those kids turn out to be mannerless in their behaviour to their parents and outsiders. They are the type that talk back at people or respond with their rude body language.

Person wey no best him pikin when it's necessary, police go best am for cell when him go wild.
Children should be applied the reward and punishment principle. Punishment should be by talking, isolation, and if necessary beating.
Just make sure the child knows why he or she is being punished. And also when they do something good, appreciate them so that when you punish them for doing bad, they will understand too.

CalliDora1:
Why are most people here making it look like you just wake up and start beating a child for no reason? Of course no one in their right senses would do that. However, I feel it's necessary to employ flogging as a measure of correction when a child is being unruly and obstinate. However, temperance should be observed when meting out such punishment.

Children have the tendency to grow wild and beyond control if not tamed in time. I am product of moderate flogging and it has helped shaped my life for the better.

I once left my after school lessons and ran home to watch Robinhood. That day marked the beginning of the end of running away from lessons as my dad flogged the hell out of my body that day. It made me take my studies seriously.

So a little flogging here and there is not bad.

You don't need to answer foolish post from stupid moderator

No wonder society is decaying on hourly basis


Any parents that spares cane for child below age 12, even during youthful excubirant stages, he will die of attacks from such child wen he/she grows older.

The excuse Nigerians give to justify hitting their children is that beating them is the only way to make them morally upright individuals. But take a look at our society and you will see that it is the exact opposite. I believe the most you should ever do is spanking, and after the age of five, there shouldn't be any need for that.

My mum was the cane handler while my dad used his words. I remember my siblings and I telling ourselves, "Is it not just flogging that mummy will flog us?", if we wanted to do something wrong. The only thing that ever made me pause was my dad's disappointment and inevitable lecture.

He will tell you why what you did was wrong and how disappointed he was with you. By the time he was done talking to you, you'll be crying even without any cane touching you.

We need to learn to use our words. Children are human, not animals.

Children understand three languages; the official language, the mother tongue and cane.
If you tried the first two and they don't learn, the third one will surely make them do what the fire two required of them. But if the third one didn't work take them for deliverance.

Note: Learning is permanent change in behavior

Children need to learn that there are consequences for bad conduct.

Canning should be the very last resort. And it's not suitable for all children Because different children respond differently to different types of discipline.