Your mum is not a good person. He would be lucky to have someone else as a mother in law, who would appreciate him for wanting to see her, with or without bringing any goodies.

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

thatigboman:
sorry to say, but your mother is very mad. But for u, i have nothing to say to u

keep bringing curses upon your head

GayPontiff:



No offense o, but be offended all u want.
You and ur mama need deliverance .
Contact me for recommendations.

If the guy marries u, each visit to your mum will now cost him a cow and a new house shebi?
That he even went to greet her which is the highlight that deserves accolades suddenly gets swept under d carpet. U proceeded to hang up call on him.
Now ur seeking justification publicly.

If u want to enjoy ur marriage in d future when u don marry eh babes, no be everything momsi talk u go swallow.

Trash

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

shut up

Trayceey:
keep bringing curses upon your head

ur mama expected your boyfriend to come and dash her Hummer on first visit?
As for you, i have no words for you.

bjprodint:
aunty,this issue to worth d fight.what if ur man no get money 2 buy anything 4 her make e go collect credit?.pls go and visit ur man,settle with him then use ur money 2 buy things and give ur mum,tell her its from ur man.thats if u love the man and want things to work out.

God bless you my sister... You're indeed the best, I swear!

GIANTPLUSHUB:
Lol. Very funny thread. You and your mum no try. Now, the guy done try to dey japa as you and your mum have displayed leeches mentality. Your mum should be after your happiness and comfort in your marriage and not leeching your husband. Na u na Sabi Sha.

you said it all

Chujor1634:
Your mentality and that of your mum is so annoying, to think that you had to even call him him instead of talking sense to your mum is the height of it all.

Oga even abroad oyinbo will take something along, maybe not cash but gifts. It could be even a bottle of wine.
That dude should have taken something along. In this case it is even the girls mother for that matter! Haba
Even if it was a small hamper with little provisions, gift chocolate etc.
For a father, find out if he drinks and get him some nice brandy etc.

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

....

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

See how you women cause trouble unnecessarily? The young man came to formally introduce himself but rather than assess him, properly know his intentions and plans that's welled up in his heart you people are busy looking under his palm to know what he brought, probably to know whether it's cheap or expensive.

If I be that guy, I'll simply walk out of this entire thing. Person bring him esteemed self una no want am, na gifts and salary for visitation una dey look for. Old for your papa house na.

He never enter family full time..the sign of responsibilities from wife family is already showing.

Na waa o...Money ehn

Mariangeles:
How come nobody understands the principle of giving gifts and the honour that comes with it?
It is not about what you give, it is the thought that counts.
If the young man had brought something as simple as fruits and the woman complained, then she would've been wrong.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Only someone with poverty mentality would think expecting gift(s) from someone is out of place, and only someone with inferiority complex would think it is a thing of shame to except gift from a certain someone.

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

Giving gifts will make way for you in the presence of Kings and great men.

I thought Bible said it is not about giving it is rather about the heart in which you gave the gift? What if his heart told him not to give anything to her at that particular day?

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

First what do you mean he came empty handed? What did your mom want him to come with? You and your mom need a change of thinking

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

U obviously a hungry per including ur mom. How dare u ask him why he didnt bring something. Is it becos of wat u n ur mom will get frm him u are seeing him? This is too immature. His right to move on becos no man likes a woman who her mother can control like that. U obviously should hav queried ur mom on why she is expecting material thing frm ur finacee

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

That's where you FAILED!

It's not everything about relationship that should be quarrel. Why should you be unhappy with him?

You can say, "babe, next time dont forget to bring gift" It doesnt mean you should become unhappy or start expressing displeasure.

A gift is courteous, not your mother's right. And you have no right to take it personally.

I wish you both success as you navigate this one. But, please, small things should not make you unhappy and have you start frowning. Learn to communicate the right way like a happy person.

YOur unhappiness would be blackmail.

You shouldn't have hung the phone up on him,that's very insulting.You need to work on your emotional intelligence.

thatigboman:
sorry to say, but your mother is very mad. But for u, i have nothing to say to u

Baba, God bless you, I swear! You too much!

Hathor5:
You should have never told your boyfriend what your mother said. BIG mistake!
Even if you mend the relationship with him, he will feel different about her from now on and I can't blame him.
Expecting people to always give you something every time they visit is pure greed or the result of poverty. I don't know which one it is in your case.

was your account hacked?
Surprised this is coming from you

The first time my husband then fiance visited he brought nothing and my mom never brought the issue up. All their discussion was centered on his character as a person.

As it stands he's my moms favorite in-law when it comes to gifts which I have never solicited on her behalf. I'm always the last to know. please don't loose a good man cos of frivolities.

Ezigbo Di Di uko!

Funny though, I'm just remembering it now.let me go and ask him for African culture first time gift.

Trayceey:
must you be insulting? With the way you sound, u re not responsible and reasonable enough, so your opinion doesn't count

What he said is truth but he didn’t present it well , call your boyfriend and apologize to him

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

After seeing the way you replied some people here on nairaland and after saying you hung up on your future husband it's shows me some things about you
1. You lack grace
2. You're Ill mannered and Ill tempered
3. You have your priorities completely twisted and you have no idea what marriage is about
4. Youre pompous and arrogant


I can go on but let me peg it there.

Now that your mother had used her witchcraft to truncate your marriage plans let her go and bring husband from inside the river for you.

I give that guy kudos for taking off... Both you and your mother don't seem like people a reasonable guy would wanna spend his life connected to

@Op

Entitlement mentality kee you there

Hathor5:
You should have never told your boyfriend what your mother said. BIG mistake!
Even if you mend the relationship with him, he will feel different about her from now on and I can't blame him.
Expecting people to always give you something every time they visit is pure greed or the result of poverty. I don't know which one it is in your case.

Wrong. Flawed perspective. The guy is wrong. Ladies stop being stvpid.

Trayceey:
keep bringing curses upon your head

Na lie joor... You and ur mama na leech, parasite remora-fish ect... Craze dey worry una head.

Just imagine..

Are you sure you're okay? so because your fiance visited your mum without buying her a gift, is now threatening your relationship with her? what if she got no money to buy her nothing at the time of visiting, did you consider that? Please don't provoke me o.

mogbolade43693:
Dis is the problem,with many relationships in nigeria..ur mum was expecting him to come with big bread,milo and milk.ur mum acted wrongly.dis is just a boyfriend and not ur husband.

Even as husband, there are times one would be broke. I doubt if she s sensible enough to know that her mother, if not checked, can ruin her conjugal home

DontBullshitMe:
Family of poverty and wretchedness.

chai be nice mbok

Mariangeles:
How come nobody understands the principle of giving gifts and the honour that comes with it?
It is not about what you give, it is the thought that counts.
If the young man had brought something as simple as fruits and the woman complained, then she would've been wrong.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Only someone with poverty mentality would think expecting gift(s) from someone is out of place, and only someone with inferiority complex would think it is a thing of shame to except gift from a certain someone.

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

Giving gifts will make way for you in the presence of Kings and great men.

Leave all these talk..
Bringing gifts to her is not an obligation..
He is as yet nothing to her..
Even if she expected something,that he didn't bring anything shouldn't have devolved to World War 3..

You didn't tell us if that was the first time he's visiting or if he is a regular visitor nor did you tell us how close he is to the family.
That would have helped give a better analysis.

If he is not a regular visitor then it's very wrong and disrespectful, if he is a regular visitor then you can't blame him

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

Thank you jare. An age long tradition of bearing gifts is now perceived differently

Even oyinbo visiting will come with gift, even if it is wine Or bouquet of flower

Mariangeles:


I don't know about the others, but in my tribe (Igbo), that's how things are done.
You don't go to your in-laws bare handed.
It is not an act to be proud of.

Shurup bros...you are not the only igbo here...its not a must to give gifts if you dont deem it fit...and they are not yet his in-laws yet...250# bread should not make the mum angry

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Are. U thinking rationally at all?? Is that the 1st and last time he will be visiting?? So why the harassment? It may have been unplanned or unintentional. Whatever the case u should have heard him out properly b4 being rude to him especially since u were not around urself.

Apologize and hear him out fully. I for one like to give bt I’m not very ceremonious so I may not put certain formalities in mind unless reminded or properly planned for. I very laid back.

Good and simple communication is key.