[color=#006600][/color]

Mariangeles:





Let me ask you this question as nwaafo Igbo; can you visit your in-laws empty handed?

Answer honestly...

Yes. We have done that on so many occasions. It all depends on the kind of family you're married too.

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

All dz gullible ladies, xo if de young man doesn’t have anytinz @ dat point he should go n steal n come n give ur mum.

Must u ladies suck de guys finished bfr proper marriage

My dear u are veri wrong in hanging his calls n u shdnt see tinz from only ur mum side mayb ur fiancée doesn’t v @ dat moment

poshestmina:
My problem is with Op who reported/chastised the Fiancee .

How do you think the guy will feel towards your mum and family?
I have never gone to an In law's house empty-handed .... Doesn't mean it's mandatory or I owe anybody anything
infact if I was that guy ,I might never come back to that house.

Your mom didn't do well at all and you even worsened the whole thing.

Go to your in laws place empty handed and after two weeks come create a thread about the aftermath of your action

This is my problem with y'all someone said advice some of y'all be raining insult that's so lame.

In our setting down here it bad to go empty handed to the in-law without anything doesn't mean they're hungry or something but then look at it how would you go down without having anything it best you don't even show up at all

Homeboiy:
If you go to marry from a poor family,that’s what you always see.

Especially imo state girls

Funny enough when this girl traceey went to visit his man family, she never gave them any gift.

Hungry mother and daughter.

If I happen to be that guy, I will quit anything with your family.

Poor family indeed. Can he visit Dangote empty handed?

Na waoooo

donbachi:
Dis is the problem,with many relationships in nigeria..ur mum was expecting him to come with big bread,milo and milk.ur mum acted wrongly.dis is just a boyfriend and not ur husband.

Even if he is the husband. There is no law that states u must visit with gift or food.

Freemasonry:

You see!
He’s not really as stingy as you make it seem.
He probably didn’t think bringing stuff for your mom was a lifelong ritual.
Please lose this mentality and get your man back.

The mom is greedy and the man should not marry from that family otherwise she will use the daughter to make money from the man

� � � Aboy..... No worries during marry she go collect

Regex:
Make it a standard that whoever you date from now on should bring gifts when coming to see you. You should break up with your fiance. He's still a kid.

Thank you. Here's mature advice here.

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

small issue, you can solve it, you shouldn't have told your man, you should have find a way to talk to your mum and calm her down. best of luck and happy married life in advance, go get your man.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

lolxxxxx hahahaha I swear guy, u for add wickedness join it name na. see as u finished gal with her mama. I swear hunger full this land oooo

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Bro, please be calming down. This "uppercut" is way too much. Don't send someone's daughter into depression

Sixfeetbelle:


I'm not saying quarreling for the guy was the best approach, she did wrong on that. She should have been calm and used wisdom to tell him. But the guy did wrong in coming empty-handed too. I don't visit family friends empty-handed. I wasn't raised like that and I expect my fiancé to have that at the back of his mind.

Oh..you and your fiance were not raised the same way and you should not blame him if he doesnt have entitlement mentality...you are a lady with entitlement mentality...what you have failed to know is that bringing bread is good but not by force...a bad man will bring bread and the mum will be happy but he might be beating her in private...the mum should have been looking out for his composure and other good attributes to know if the guy is a good guy or not...expecting gifts from bf visits reeks of hunger and poverty mentality...ur bf doesnt owe ur family anything cus he is dating you...if you want to give his family gifts everyday, na ur cup of tea. I won't even want my gf to want to think its a must to bring gifts since im not broke to that extent

Now i see the reason why nairaland guys keep bashing nigerian women.. Can you even imagine the effontery you had supporting your mum and hanging up on your fiance. Your dad will never feel such entitled, this attitude is common among igbo mother's...

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

Best comment ever. It's so sad guys these days are so insensitive n lazy. How can u go to your girlfriends home empty? This is 2021, let's stop this entitlement mentality, that u are entitled to your girlfriend's pussy but gets angry when asked to take some responsibilities over her no matter how small
We guys are the reason some ladies date other guys. Do u know why? We date them, sleep with them but do not take responsibility over them claiming she s just a girlfriend, when she gets tired, she looks for another to love her wholeheartedly. Why not pocket ur dick n wait till u are ready to be a responsible boyfriend or husband before u can sleep with her? Or do u visit a brothel n not pay after service? So, why deny responsibility over that lovely girl u call ur girlfriend n love but u can be responsible to prostitutes n pay them because u know prostitutes don't take shit. They service u n u must pay them. Guys, when a girl is good, treat her like a Queen cos we all have sisters too

Please your family should show some form of respect to their future inlaw to be. It shows how hungry you guys are, for God sake the boy is also their son. Pls give ur parents sense.

GayPontiff:




E dey pain me pass say all these rubbish is given with the excuse that we are Africans and gift must be presented. Who enacted that stupid law?

God punish every idiiiiot that keeps dragging this race backward with their backwardness.

The guy should treat them with a ten ft pole onwards.
They don't deserve him at all.

I swear, if I get that guy number I for call him and tell him to run far

Trayceey:
must you be insulting? With the way you sound, u re not responsible and reasonable enough, so your opinion doesn't count

Take it or leave it, he is right. Both you and your mom are hungry and the earlier he (your alleged fiance) runs for his life, better for him.

[color=#006600][/color]

Mariangeles:


OK. Fair then.

Where I come from, we're culturally raised to go bearing gifts whenever we visited places like your in-laws or your maternal home.

I remember my grandfather giving us fresh palm wine to give to his in-laws on his behalf(my mother's family).
It is an act of honour, and not of compulsion.

Giving in-laws gift is a choice and not a must. Stop mistaking entitlement mentality for culture.

He went there for trying and u and ur mom fall , when u visit him the u go hungry , he know what is doing

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

.

We are Africans and I think common courtesy demands we come bearing gifts especially in such visits. It just shows respect.

But he may not be acustomed to this and I guess he got defensive when being confronted. We men don't like our egos hurt��. I think you should call him and make peace because it also is not mandatory for him to bring those gifts as there are merely custom and he may not have had the means to.

I'll advise you call him because it's good enough an effort to go visit in itself

Mariangeles:


It was lack of understanding. But would you go to your in-laws empty handed?

It's awkward just thinking about it...

It depends on the frequency of the visit.

Since that was not the first time he visited and the first time he visited without a gift, the mother should have let it slide.

But bringing it up, complaining about the drink she offered him, the girl fighting with the guy all reeks of classlessness IMHO.

I think the Bobo is trying to build a relationship with the mom which gives him points in my book.

Well, OP claims Bobo has apologized. They should both learn their expectations of one another.

Its obvious that was your fiancée's first visit to your mum.

Have you thought about your man's intentions to visit your mum even in your absence?

Just maybe, he went to see "an older version of you as a wife to him"

Maybe not going with any gift was intentional.

And your mum, maybe, just maybe, seem to have missed the opportunity to "have a motherly deep look at him to identify prospects of him being a good husband to her loving daughter"


Take it or leave it, a times mother's attitudes/behaviors to their husbands/others tells one what to expect from a soon to be wife.


If you love your man, call him and appreciate where he is coming from, besides he can still buy a private jet for your parents in years to come, don't let this get you to start experimenting with another relationship.


All the best.

As a man, things like this should be avoided.
Do not visit in law to be empty handed. This is Nigeria
If you do not have anything on you, make the visit short.
If they give you kola, do not take
Try to avoid it and leave in style, If you must drink, kola should be reciprocated.

Onyemaya:
Poverty is often concealed in splendor, and often in extravagance. It is the task of many people to conceal their neediness from others. Consequently they support themselves by temporary means, and everyday is lost in contriving for tomorrow.

Nature makes us poor only when we want necessaries, but custom gives the name of poverty to the want of superfluities.

Extreme poverty anywhere is a threat to human security everywhere.

poverty they say is a disease

As for me, i will end the relationship .

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

You and your mother are not ready for a husband and a son in law. Nonsense!

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

Waiting dis 1dey talk?

Hathor5:
You should have never told your boyfriend what your mother said. BIG mistake!
Even if you mend the relationship with him, he will feel different about her from now on and I can't blame him.
Expecting people to always give you something every time they visit is pure greed or the result of poverty. I don't know which one it is in your case.

Probably she is still young, there are ways she would have told him for next time but not making it look like her mum was angry about it.

Fiscus105:



For him to come to in-law house, not his own martenal house o ,empty handed not even when he is yet to marry their daughter Is enough to know one character, don't forget he also got angry instead of remorse when she told him how her mother felt, such fiance is animal in human skin.

If she ever marries him she will regret

God bless you. Another elder speaking. He's not even showing remorse.


The mother is telling her daughter if she marries him she will regret it, she's not understanding what the mum is saying.


Such a nuisance for a man seeking to Marry. Our society breeds nonsense these days. Thank you for this truth...

Hungry bitch moda
Hw do u expect him to visit
With trailer full of food or d world
Jus to visit

U see why its nt n never gud to involve or allow ur mum penetrate ur relationships

Ladies

Modas lived d old fashion traditionals wAyS

Haba

D next visit would carry all his gifts n food