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Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Woman Who Slept With Male Best Friend Following Quarrel With Husband, Seeks Help / I Fainted When My Wife Said Our Former Neighbor Is The Father Of Our Child / Help !! My Wife Removes Her Ring Anytime We Have A Quarrel (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by deltateam: 5:18pm On Jan 11, 2021
Shokoloko:
1. She sent you a really disrespectful text.
2. In her text she says "Its over". When someone is done they will not bother to announce it. Apparently she isnt done.
3. She was upset when she did not get a reaction from you. I think she still likes you.
4. I am very concerned if the only thing your spouse has done in all the years of marriage is pumping out kids. She doesn't even keep the family well fed and the home clean? She leaves the kids to go their own way once she delivers them?! Strange
5. Does she continuously refer to your disability? If yes, she pities you: no love. If no, it was a one time act of foolishness.
6. Please place your boundaries. She should leave if this is about pity and if it is not she should never refer to your disability again.
7. There are 5 love languages. If you do 150% of four and it is not your spouse's love language it means nothing...so check if the unimaginable things you did for her happiness actually resonate with her.
8. Do not abscond from your own home anymore.
9. Saving your spouse's life is not spectacular - it is expected. Five pints of my blood is in my spouse's body right now. Its not a big deal


Shokoloko this your name nawaoh.

5 pints of your blood? I hope you don't tell him to give you back your blood when he mess up.
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by raphy(m): 5:20pm On Jan 11, 2021
Woman is chasing you away from your house oga are you a baby.just go there's and be a.man don't ' be bragging here e be like say Na baby you even Be. Why will u allow a third person So come settle ya family matter?..
Forget WhT your wife said be a man just leave forgive and move on .
If you knw u knw they go visit babalawo.
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Shokoloko(f): 5:22pm On Jan 11, 2021
deltateam:



Shokoloko this your name nawaoh.

5 pints of your blood? I hope you don't tell him to give you back your blood when he mess up.

I collect my blood from him at least one night every week and one morning every weekend grin grin

1 Like

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Funkybabee(f): 5:23pm On Jan 11, 2021
which kind CAC don't want transfusion..

na lie ooo don't let them sweet tongue you


and just forget jare, women mouth are like tap water.. just ensure you tell her not to repeat those word again ever in her life unless you will divorce her and that u mean it.
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by itsja4: 5:23pm On Jan 11, 2021
Yusufisraelj:
OP

Many have given great suggestions here, I wish you were like me as regards words, but variety brings beauty. grin

So what I have is to fault you in absconding, when a woman repeats an offense, there is the likelihood that she is feeling she is not really loved by you. When was the last time you did something that she considers an affection of love from you?

You see relationship is about the other person not you, equally you watch what you get in return.

I fault you bkos, you should spare head the direction the house takes and not abscond, equally learn to speak up quickly, showing facial expression is never enough, kill the issue there and then let her know that that should not be repeated.

Go home with a gift, talk to your wife, iron things out, let her know what you want and how like it done and hear her own side to and both of you should commit to doing it for the other, then make sweet love. My brother nothing is as bad as it seems, every marriage problem get solution. Cheers

Oga talk wif sense jere.
Someone offends you serially non stop
You are there shouting go home with a gift
Is that gonna stop her from such folly?

Yet if she beats her you ll be the first person to cry foul
@OP pls leave the house anytime she offends you, this last one you did truly sends a good msg to her
We must learn not to continually provoke each other rather seek love, cooperation, mutuallity, and peaceful coexistence.

Thank you.

2 Likes

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by babamadiba(m): 5:24pm On Jan 11, 2021
abimbola74:

Aswear she didn’t mean those words . Women and their mouth like tap water. She just want to hurt you with words and let you feel miserable. Show her this text and tell her you won’t delete that message that it reminds you who she really is and watch how she will cry uncontrollably. Bruh abeg no vex
correct man!
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by deltateam: 5:24pm On Jan 11, 2021
Shokoloko:


I collect my blood from him at least one night every week and one morning every weekend grin grin


In za oda room?
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Nobody: 5:25pm On Jan 11, 2021
Princedapace:


I am not saying that he is perfect. No!
I only told u the reality that he will never forget the words.. I also said adults should be responsible with their tongues that even bible admonished us to do same. U can have misunderstanding with your partner, surely, but be mindful of the words used becus they can never be withdrawn back. I dont know what u are stating though. That adults should go ahead and be abusing their partners anyhow?

Verbal abuse is one of major cause of physical abuse.

The worse is for ur partner to use ur disability to insult u. My dear, such can never be forgotten. It is like a man who married a crippled lady. When they had issues, he told her that 'I dont blame u, I married a crippled lady like u out of pity...'

Lol, that lady will cry for a long time. Or ur partner calling u a prostitute when u are not. My dear, as adults, we should behave well with our tongues, pls.

No doubt. I'm not disputing the fact that verbal abuse is wrong. But then again the same Bible says we should forgive our brethren 77 times 7 times. Isn't it? Let him forgive her. That's what ive been stating all along.

1 Like

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Femsyn(m): 5:27pm On Jan 11, 2021
1. Never take the words of a woman serious, especially during an argument.

2. The cause of your disagreement shouldn't have come to be, in the first place.

Take note of this: In marriage, when your spouse keeps repeating something you dislike severally, sometimes, for years, please let it go.

As long as it does no permanent damage, let it go, or find a way to support that issue, and make it mild. I wish you mentioned the issue in particular, so it's easier to tackle. But generally speaking, an habit is hard to leave, especially when it wasn't hidden during courtship. It's not worth you losing your marriage, pls let it go.

Yes, the issue has been settled, but sir, she will repeat that thing you dislike again. Let it go.

1 Like

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Regex: 5:27pm On Jan 11, 2021
CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

You should take that divorce and have your happiness.

1 Like

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by annyz: 5:28pm On Jan 11, 2021
Don't marry out of pity & never allow someone marry you out of pity.

One day that will be used against you by voice or body language.
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by deltateam: 5:29pm On Jan 11, 2021
CalliDora1:


I'm telling you, she doesn't mean it. If a woman doesnt love you truly, she won't even be able to bring herself to tell you that..

I remember telling my ex, he looks like aje kpako just to make him stop his akor ( his swag was too much and girls were flocking around him). He came back asking, jgurl, do I really look like kpako? I said yes nau and he just laughed it off saying, "you this girl you won't kill me" because I was still with him despite saying that and we moved on.

You'll do well writing books.

I'll like to know if the breakup was mutual since he's your ex now and if you still miss him cos it's often said women don't ever get over their ex.
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by SenorFax(m): 5:29pm On Jan 11, 2021
abimbola74:

Aswear she didn’t mean those words . Women and their mouth like tap water. She just want to hurt you with words and let you feel miserable. Show her this text and tell her you won’t delete that message that it reminds you who she really is and watch how she will cry uncontrollably. Bruh abeg no vex
You are wise,

Not all these Nairaland association of Simp callers

2 Likes

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by lanreHeda: 5:29pm On Jan 11, 2021
CalliDora1:


He's not her first choice but she's stuck with him all these years...
And even if the wife did not mention those things, did the op think shes not aware they are there?

Please guys, this is two fighting and when people are exchanging banters there's no limit to what they can say at that mad instant hence it shouldn't be something that should be used against them after all is calm and settled.

That is why it's good to marry your friend. All these uptight husbands sef. Hm!
Answer truthfully pls. How would you feel if *you* had issues having children and your husband called you barren in anger ?

4 Likes

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by bayulll011(m): 5:30pm On Jan 11, 2021
CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.


My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

Ok i understand your pain but you bleeped up.

Reasons is marriage is for matured mind am not saying there won't be issues of this nature but of what marriage is to you to the extent of leaving your homes for days is marriage not until death do us apart i always say this if we have issues and we don't settle it that night before we sleep then we ain't ready for marriage and this also goes for singles.

That's the only way she can get back at you since she knows you don't talk and shout some will even prefer u shout but silent treatment some don't like it,all the same forgive her and move on that's women for you,most of them will behaves same way.

2 Likes

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by okewumi: 5:32pm On Jan 11, 2021
CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.



You need slap grin grin cheesy.

Na woman abuse you want to carry for head. Just ignore my brother. Wify abuse one million times, l ignore and we settle it later. Just ignore bare, this is 2021
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by patriks005(m): 5:34pm On Jan 11, 2021
I am also a disabled man.
I am not married yet.
I was not born disabled.
I had an accident and became disabled.
Ladies dispise my disability, they think disability is liability.
When they noticed that i am rich,
They tried to mingle but I refused.
My disability didn't affect my brain, it only affected the way I walk.
I refused to mingle with them, because of how they treated me at first.
I don't have the intention of marrying anyone that isn't disabled.
That way we are equals.

13 Likes

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by DukeJoe17: 5:36pm On Jan 11, 2021
Stevenbright:


You know why she is angry with you?
It is because her manipulative tendencies towards you are falling since you know how to handle the situations.

What to do:
Forgive her concerning those words but keep making sure she can't emotionally manipulate you.

A better observant.
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Ezini(f): 5:36pm On Jan 11, 2021
lanreHeda:
The fact that you think what you wrote, including the bit about boiled water, is considered to be normal behaviour is scary.

I bet you are not yet married

Marriage isn't a bed of roses
Every marriage has its peculiarities
People don't change people,rather get used to them, that's why it is adviceable to date, so as to know the character you will deal with for the rest of your life
And yes i will repeat it again, an angry woman can do the unthinkable which might be regretted afterwards
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Nobody: 5:38pm On Jan 11, 2021
lanreHeda:
Answer truthfully pls. How would you feel if *you* had issues having children and your husband called you barren in anger ?

I can't and will never answer this question because it's not my portion.

Redirect it to yourself and answer. I'm waiting.

1 Like

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Holla911(m): 5:40pm On Jan 11, 2021
What I can deduce from this post is, your wife loves you dearly, she doesn't want the divorce but in your relationship, she sees herself as the head hence she tried to use emotional blackmail to make you succumb to her demand.
I can bet she's remorseful for what she said but women are generally adamant against apologising for their actions exception for a few of them.
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by CupOfT(m): 5:40pm On Jan 11, 2021
abimbola74:

Aswear she didn’t mean those words . Women and their mouth like tap water. She just want to hurt you with words and let you feel miserable. Show her this text and tell her you won’t delete that message that it reminds you who she really is and watch how she will cry uncontrollably. Bruh abeg no vex
this your comment eh....you must be from the lineage of wisemen. God bless you Abimbola

1 Like

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Nobody: 5:42pm On Jan 11, 2021
deltateam:


You'll do well writing books.

I'll like to know if the breakup was mutual since he's your ex now and if you still miss him cos it's often said women don't ever get over their ex.

I had to call it off cos girls won't allow him to rest. What do you expect from a Chevron lekki big boy. I can't deal.

I've gotten over him but it took me years o. Lol..
He was such a cutie.
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Shokoloko(f): 5:44pm On Jan 11, 2021
deltateam:



In za oda room?

In any room available. If no room is available, we have small garden at the back of our home wink.

However we have had real fights and serious up-and-downs but in all this we respect boundaries. From day one, I told my spouse we cannot call each other names. You can tell me I did a silly thing (insult the action) but you are not allowed to call me a fool (insult the person). And that is how it's worked for us.
We remember the chastising when we did wrong, but you know that your spouse never insulted your person.

2 Likes

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by askino(m): 5:45pm On Jan 11, 2021
lanreHeda:
The fact that you think what you wrote, including the bit about boiled water, is considered to be normal behaviour is scary.
yes its scary but its the truth... We rate them too high because of their beauty and our feelings yet the truth is.. We gets to mostly realise that we have to be baby sitting them in marriage seeing so many flaws and being disapointed..now you understand why some men panelbeats their women in terrible manners..love her, keep personal information personal.. dont you show her your secret so you wont commit when she decides to expose them.. becareful with them and always remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS! every malam wit em kettle..forget packaging..all of them are WORK IN PROGRESS!
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by lanreHeda: 5:49pm On Jan 11, 2021
Ezini:


I bet you are not yet married

Marriage isn't a bed of roses
Every marriage has its peculiarities
People don't change people,rather get used to them, that's why it is adviceable to date, so as to know the character you will deal with for the rest of your life
And yes i will repeat it again, an angry woman can do the unthinkable which might be regretted afterwards
married or not.....it's not okay. It's because of excuses like this men beat ,maim and in some cases kill their wives. Women say and do cruel things like pouring boiled water on husband and stabbing them.
The fact that you're are angry doesn't give you license to behave anyhow.
You're married. I don't think you'll like it if your husband were to beat you up because he was angry at you.
It's wrong

2 Likes

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by BigDick70inch(m): 5:49pm On Jan 11, 2021
luvmijeje:
I deh tire for marriage wahala.

How dare you leave your house for 4 days in order to punish your wife. Please put yourself in her shoe. You were willing to destroy your marriage because of your pride. The way you couldn't forget her hurtful words is the same way she will never get to trust you again.

Any marriage without trust is dead. You have a bigger issue than the words she spoke against you.

Schmuck!!!!!
Trying to put the blame on the man......seems u were blind to understand op left home......so as not escalate things......

2 Likes

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Lagosinter1: 5:50pm On Jan 11, 2021
Abigarnics01:
Something you and your wife have settled, you still brought it here to social media/public undecided. I wonder how some people do things honestly. This is one reason I don't fancy social media anymore. Sir keep your home away from social media, BE WISE!!!. Nor be everything supposed reach here na undecided undecided. I am not married yet o but this is all I can say biko cool

Go and sit down abeg.

People here are not different from people on the street.

Haba!
Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by Asour: 5:52pm On Jan 11, 2021
Omihanifa:
I think you allowed your wife to see you finish undecided

How can you be escorting her to go and pee and also escort her back when she's done peeing shocked
Which kind love be that one undecided

As regards the things she said to you via SMS and verbal exchange. All I can say is that you have a snake over your roof.

He probably doesn't mean "Pee" literally.

He probably means that he usually has to take her wherever she wants to go.

1 Like

Re: Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel by lanreHeda: 5:55pm On Jan 11, 2021
CalliDora1:


I can't and will never answer this question because it's not my portion.

Redirect it to yourself and answer. I'm waiting.
I never said it will be your portion hence the word "if".

I'm just trying to show you that there are things we don't say to people especially our loved ones because we are angry.

I'm sure there are some things you would not like to hear from your loved ones.

The fact that we are angry at a moment in time does not mean we should say or do whatever we like.

3 Likes

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