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Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? - Family (15) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by luminouz(m): 9:00am On Jan 18
missyblissy:


How do you know am not married?

To each its own. Sometimes women tends to hold sex when they are not satisfied. You don't come and hump and go like. She's a horse without feelings. Treat her like the Queen she is and You will see her eat you in bed......
Surely you can't be blind to what he posted, can you?

He has TWO HOUSEHELPS!!!! and he is still getting fuqed up by his wife!! So what dafuq is your point? Or is he not treating her like a Queen enough? Wait... I thought in marriage,two bodies become one and he has access to her body and conjugal rights anytime he wants it or are you not married to NOT KNOW THAT? undecided

Let her hold the sex na...her eyes go clear when he goes outside to get it.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Nobody: 9:00am On Jan 18
spiritedtete:


I read your assertion... you can't be more correct in this... you are absolutely right...

I have asked questions about who made the rule of one man one woman... they said GOD.. they sad bible lol... also did bible condemn polygamy in any way... we have examples of great men in the bible who are polygamous.. I tell my wife with all due respect.. if i chose to marry morethan one.. no one can question me.. and i am not giving anyone a divorce.

My major contribution as the husband is to make sure everybody in my home feel protected and grows in there various life endeavors.

But as a man... you need to understand human purposes... before even trying to walk with any even being as a friend.

Maybe I can think objectively because I don't subscribe to any religion.
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Oriade33: 9:07am On Jan 18
Actually some woman don't feel Hot when money isn't involved
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by grpCaptain(m): 9:08am On Jan 18
Olunmercy56:


My dear, I'll go for romantic! Money will follow undecided Most rich women are having sex with small boy or their domestic staffs. I don't want much riches, inasmuch we have a house and two cars of our own with some business, I'm okay

I would like to know what bukatyn has to say about this. Should a husband focus more on work or romance if family is financially average.

I found bukatyn words very pragmatic and my personal experience has been torn between how to balance work demand with fulfilling romantic need.
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by yawehoverall: 9:11am On Jan 18
CalliDora1:
undecided
Na food?

On a more serious note though, I think what usually causes it is, the woman is most times overwhelmed with the wifely duties at the homefront. in the process she's expended therefore sex will be the last thing on her mind as the passion for it will have died from exaustion from doing chores. If you observed, it usually happens after the kids have started coming and the workload has increased.

If the man can make arrangements for a house help ( not necessarily a live-in help) to assist with the chores, the woman will be more relaxed to reason sex as it's only a relaxed mind that can get a woman in the mood tongue.




Only you talk sense, and hit the nail.. others up there dey yarn theory and history

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Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by soojar: 9:13am On Jan 18
Hassanmaye:

Lol how do you know that

From experience and undocumented research tongue

1 Like

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by GetMeRight: 9:14am On Jan 18
bizme:
You have made very important points. Personally I think getting house helps is a vital aspect of the domestic life. Some of us don't mind spending time doing chores around the house and in the kitchen... (I prepare more delicious dishes than my dearest :-) ) However, there reality is that oftentimes the man's (woman's too) time is likely much more valuable outside the house... This is why I don't get it when some men that I have met don't like the idea of taking house helps citing their own mothers as an example of why a wife should do fine without help. Well, many of those mothers were very sad creatures and would have preferred more humane treatment.

I think what I have noticed is that after marriage the man and the woman stop dating each other. They took things for granted, no special outings...just church services together. I also think that sex is deeply mental, and that it is these dating/chasing rituals that develop the sexual tension and excitement in each other. Take it away and it turns a routine. I don't accept polygamy as a solution: many who keep preaching it as a demonstration of their manliness don't even practise it. The last time I checked polygamy is still well practiced in Nigeria and no one stops anyone from going that direction in the first place: that is, the so-called Western indoctrination doesn't force anyone not to. It is however interesting how these pro-polygamy men get furious whenever a man messes up their own daughters.


Messes up! How? You mean like when their sons in law married another wife to join their daughters?
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by osiscolion(m): 9:18am On Jan 18
Actually, there are many causes, but the major reason why women tend to get less interested in sex after married and especially after kids starts coming is "STRESS".

I will only talk on stress and list the rest below.
Women are often very stressed with work and domestic duties when they get married. Trying the tidy the house, wash the clothes, prepare food and lots more, and the stress mostly increase especially when they starts having kids. And at this point women tend to lose interest in sex, and at that point if a man always demand for sex, they that seeing the man as selfish and self centered person. But if a man can be supportive not only on monetary aspect but also in domestic chores, like helping out to cook, helping out to clean, helping out with the kids and lots more, you will discover that reverse is the case.

below are other aspect.

*** Less Communication between spouse.
*** During sex "Less attention in knowing what your spouse likes and does not" like some men just focus in pleasuring themselves and getting out.
*** Less Romance.
*** Money.... But this is least, when there is love.
*** Time.... No time for each other. Most couple have time for their phones and gadget but no time for each other.


At this junction. I REST MY CASE.
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Kingstanding: 9:19am On Jan 18
RisenPhoenix1:


Women use sex to buy love. Men use love to buy sex. Like any economic transaction each party is looking to find a bargain, i.e. spend the minimum amount of their currency to purchase the maximum amount of the service they need. So once women have gotten the man's commitment, they will thereafter spend as little sex as is necessary to keep him from straying to another market. Whereas, once a man has acquired the woman's sexual favours, he will spend the minimum amount of love and commitment to keep her from withholding them. The best solution is to marry more than one wife. Thereafter, they can share the sexual burden among themselves, and the man can pretend to love all of them equally and share a little of his attention among each of them; satisfying all parties involved.

Factoid of life. Free of charge for you.
. From today henceforth I give you a new name. King Solomon of our time. Wisdom no go kill you. For those who got one wife it's old age that they will know that they are not better than a single man.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by GetMeRight: 9:22am On Jan 18
Olunmercy56:


My dear, I'll go for romantic! Money will follow undecided Most rich women are having sex with small boy or their domestic staffs. I don't want much riches, inasmuch we have a house and two cars of our own with some business, I'm okay

Some business would need time to tend to it. Can men really be satisfied?
BTW: your gender says "f" but you commented like a male
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Oriade33: 9:25am On Jan 18
I guess money makes the Hot
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by adadike(f): 9:25am On Jan 18
ArcFresky:
Personally, this is my worst fear...I detest cheaters. I need to marry a nymph.
can you really stay faithful to a nymph?
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by thinkmoney(m): 9:34am On Jan 18
DMerciful:
Funny enough my desire increases after a stressful day as sex reduces stress absolutely for me and I sleep better afterwards
Ok my lady
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Evolutionlove: 9:35am On Jan 18
CalliDora1:


A house gird can do all that because that is basically her job. Does she go for any other outdoor jobs like the wife? No.



You think so?
A man once posted here on nairaland how his wife travelled for only 8days and he was left to take up her role while she was away. Within three days, he was already feeling the heat and complaining bitterly. a He then admitted the wife was a super woman and appreciated her so much in that post. So you asking which chores, try switching roles with your woman one day and see if you can cope for two days.




There are too many "mentally lazy adult babies" In Nigeria. All most of them know Is "Chase Money, Fvck, Drink, Smoke Scam, Womanize, No Quality Living" The amount of "Quality Real Sane Men" (Not In Terms Of Finance" In Nigeria are not up to 20%. I have never for once got tired of doing my apartment chores most times when I'm less busy. I cook, clean, laundry et all. The Ladies and Women In my compound always look at me like I'm an Alien or something. They get extremely Jealous and I always see It In their eyes. One of them had to confront me one day when she couldn't hold It again, She said the Woman who will marry me will really have to be on her toes always. That I exhibit both gender energies. Although I thank God my Job gives me a quite lot of time. If 20% of these adult babies can be like me "Real Man" Females will beg to get married.......

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by sylve11: 9:38am On Jan 18
RisenPhoenix1:


Women use sex to buy love. Men use love to buy sex. Like any economic transaction each party is looking to find a bargain, i.e. spend the minimum amount of their currency to purchase the maximum amount of the service they need. So once women have gotten the man's commitment, they will thereafter spend as little sex as is necessary to keep him from straying to another market. Whereas, once a man has acquired the woman's sexual favours, he will spend the minimum amount of love and commitment to keep her from withholding them. The best solution is to marry more than one wife. Thereafter, they can share the sexual burden among themselves, and the man can pretend to love all of them equally and share a little of his attention among each of them; satisfying all parties involved.

Factoid of life. Free of charge for you.


hmmm cool
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by annyz: 9:42am On Jan 18
Olunmercy56:
Some married women said most of their husbands are not romantic enough, some husbands concentrate more on work than their family. Etc grin grin

But they pretended and got him married only for this flimsy excuse later.

Women & pretence is likt tea&bread
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by kiddkash(m): 9:44am On Jan 18
Olunmercy56:
Some married women said most of their husbands are not romantic enough, some husbands concentrate more on work than their family. Etc grin grin
stop lying na. A man could be thinking of sex even 1:00 AM which is why sometimes after we wake,
we'd have a huge boner. but women don't think of sex at 1;00 AM

Men need sex
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by kiddkash(m): 9:47am On Jan 18
CalliDora1:
undecided
Na food?

On a more serious note though, I think what usually causes it is, the woman is most times overwhelmed with the wifely duties at the homefront. in the process she's expended therefore sex will be the last thing on her mind as the passion for it will have died from exaustion from doing chores. If you observed, it usually happens after the kids have started coming and the workload has increased.

If the man can make arrangements for a house help ( not necessarily a live-in help) to assist with the chores, the woman will be more relaxed to reason sex as it's only a relaxed mind that can get a woman in the mood tongue.



you're 70% right

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by tarantino1: 9:49am On Jan 18
Hassanmaye:

20years!!! Chai man you dont know what God has done for you, my uncle divorce his wife 2weeks after marriage! What is happening with marriage this times

Lol

And I thought my Uncle's three months marriage was a national record

1 Like

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by TiglathPILESER: 10:00am On Jan 18
RisenPhoenix1:


Women use sex to buy love. Men use love to buy sex. Like any economic transaction each party is looking to find a bargain, i.e. spend the minimum amount of their currency to purchase the maximum amount of the service they need. So once women have gotten the man's commitment, they will thereafter spend as little sex as is necessary to keep him from straying to another market. Whereas, once a man has acquired the woman's sexual favours, he will spend the minimum amount of love and commitment to keep her from withholding them. The best solution is to marry more than one wife. Thereafter, they can share the sexual burden among themselves, and the man can pretend to love all of them equally and share a little of his attention among each of them; satisfying all parties involved.

Factoid of life. Free of charge for you.
See craze man...
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by mariahAngel: 10:00am On Jan 18
Tapout:


You are comparing two different ERAs. if not for the ever evolving world we inhabit, then yes I think we can even do better than them.

You're in support of polygamy? cheesy
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Emotionss: 10:01am On Jan 18
[color=#006600][/color]
RisenPhoenix1:


That is only because you have been exposed to a barrage of misinformation from all sides; Hollywood, Nollywood, relationship advice, etc. If you had voiced out your doubts about polygamy to your grandfather, he would have probably laughed out loud in your face and told you stories about the advantages. That is when men were men and knew that they were all cut out for polygamy (or they were considered effeminate).

Communicate away bro, communicate away. You asked for solutions and I told you what works. But you are free to try out what you like for as long as you want to. Just remember the only working solution; for when you have to get back to it at last.

Oga only a handful of men will understand what you're saying probably those born in the 60,70 and early 80s. All this new generation men are wimps and weaklings. They believe the only way one can prove himself a man is by being at the back and call of their wife's or girlfriend.

I always let my woman know she is NOT indisposable. If a woman can not meet my sexual and other Needs, then she has no business being my woman. Simple.

To me once a woman start that their unwarranted attitude by withholding sex, I automatically withraw my affections and reduce my communicating time with her to the minimum and channel the rest to someone Or something else.

No be person go tell her to adjust her attitude.

5 Likes

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by cerebralniggie1: 10:03am On Jan 18
RisenPhoenix1:


Women use sex to buy love. Men use love to buy sex. Like any economic transaction each party is looking to find a bargain, i.e. spend the minimum amount of their currency to purchase the maximum amount of the service they need. So once women have gotten the man's commitment, they will thereafter spend as little sex as is necessary to keep him from straying to another market. Whereas, once a man has acquired the woman's sexual favours, he will spend the minimum amount of love and commitment to keep her from withholding them. The best solution is to marry more than one wife. Thereafter, they can share the sexual burden among themselves, and the man can pretend to love all of them equally and share a little of his attention among each of them; satisfying all parties involved.

Factoid of life. Free of charge for you.
Too much wisdom kee you dere.
���
You didn't factor the wahala that comes with polygamy. The problems from one wife alone can be overwhelming how much more from multiple wives?

1 Like

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by eastOFwest(m): 10:03am On Jan 18
luminouz:


Your no.7 point just destroyed all the others.

If she is so uninterested in sex in the first 6 points, how in hell did she get so sex starved that a stranger would now take advantage? Or sex starvation means something else?

What you don't know is this, the women who truly experience what you say are very few in numbers and have stayed longer in marriage,say for 15-30 years. How do you explain a marriage of 2 years having such issues if the wife is not cheating? So your number 7 is the anchor and disruptor of your whole write-up. grin

If a woman is in a marriage where there is no chemistry with her husband (it doesn't mean that it wasn't there before but it's not present right now) or where sex has become so boring or such a mechanical chore that it leaves her feeling weird or horrible after the act, or whatever reason. The fact that the woman is able to relegate sex to the background or suppress it (the term "sweeping under the carpet" comes to mind), or pretend or convince herself that she's not interested in sex doesn't mean that it's not there. Women who do this are doing it for the right reasons. They still care about their husband and family. Every other thing might be OK except sex so why rock the boat because of just one element in a marriage? So they just decide to soldier on and see it as a sacrifice. As the old saying goes "bodi nor be wood", so the fact that it's been swept under the carpet doesn't mean it isn't there, especially at that time of the month. No body is perfect and people make mistakes but we humans (including me) will mostly find the once concerning sex unforgivable

As to your point about some women cheating after 2 years? People's length of endurance differ.
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by mariahAngel: 10:03am On Jan 18
Kriss216:

You know the ‘handwriting’ of your nightmare. Lol

Whose nightmare?

Kriss, I'll be your nightmare gi ga kpachara onwe gi anya cheesy
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by missyblissy: 10:06am On Jan 18
luminouz:

Surely you can't be blind to what he posted, can you?

He has TWO HOUSEHELPS!!!! and he is still getting fuqed up by his wife!! So what dafuq is your point? Or is he not treating her like a Queen enough? Wait... I thought in marriage,two bodies become one and he has access to her body and conjugal rights anytime he wants it or are you not married to NOT KNOW THAT? undecided

Let her hold the sex na...her eyes go clear when he goes outside to get it.

You don't get my point shocked. Most men what they do is hump on the woman like horse and go without satisfying her as they are selfish. An unhappy woman will never give sex....
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Evince(m): 10:07am On Jan 18
bizme:
You have made very important points. Personally I think getting house helps is a vital aspect of the domestic life. Some of us don't mind spending time doing chores around the house and in the kitchen... (I prepare more delicious dishes than my dearest :-) ) However, there reality is that oftentimes the man's (woman's too) time is likely much more valuable outside the house... This is why I don't get it when some men that I have met don't like the idea of taking house helps citing their own mothers as an example of why a wife should do fine without help. Well, many of those mothers were very sad creatures and would have preferred more humane treatment.

I think what I have noticed is that after marriage the man and the woman stop dating each other. They took things for granted, no special outings...just church services together. I also think that sex is deeply mental, and that it is these dating/chasing rituals that develop the sexual tension and excitement in each other. Take it away and it turns a routine. I don't accept polygamy as a solution: many who keep preaching it as a demonstration of their manliness don't even practise it. The last time I checked polygamy is still well practiced in Nigeria and no one stops anyone from going that direction in the first place: that is, the so-called Western indoctrination doesn't force anyone not to. It is however interesting how these pro-polygamy men get furious whenever a man messes up their own daughters.

dude you have a nice submission on this matter. People actually stopped dating each other in marriage which I think could be a manifestation of "see finish"(sic).
Going by the law of demand and supply where excess supply devalues a product thereby leading to a reduction in the amount of satisfaction derived from the consumption of additional of same excessively supplied product which is "law of diminishing marginal utility ". However in a less monopolistic situation, variety and competition create a better drive for improvement.
That being said, when a woman is competing to win favour from the man, she definitely will position herself in seductive manner to outplay her co-wife while for the man once scarcity is created, there is always this drive to explore more. So I strongly believe that being polygamous can awaken the sexual desire in a woman while in a marriage.
Pls pardon my writing skill.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Drizzle007(m): 10:12am On Jan 18
RisenPhoenix1:


Women use sex to buy love. Men use love to buy sex. Like any economic transaction each party is looking to find a bargain, i.e. spend the minimum amount of their currency to purchase the maximum amount of the service they need. So once women have gotten the man's commitment, they will thereafter spend as little sex as is necessary to keep him from straying to another market. Whereas, once a man has acquired the woman's sexual favours, he will spend the minimum amount of love and commitment to keep her from withholding them. The best solution is to marry more than one wife. Thereafter, they can share the sexual burden among themselves, and the man can pretend to love all of them equally and share a little of his attention among each of them; satisfying all parties involved.

Factoid of life. Free of charge for you.

Can we be friends, I feel like I have alot to learn from you.
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by innovestor(m): 10:16am On Jan 18
tarantino1:


Lol

And I thought my Uncle's three months marriage was a national record

LOL. He deserves some medal from you for holding that long. grin
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Nobody: 10:17am On Jan 18
Drizzle007:


Can we be friends, I feel like I have alot to learn from you.

We are NL friends
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Nobody: 10:18am On Jan 18
cerebralniggie1:

Too much wisdom kee you dere.
���
You didn't factor the wahala that comes with polygamy. The problems from one wife alone can be overwhelming how much more from multiple wives?

Everything has advantages and disadvantages. Polygamy is not for weak men who cannot control their women. If one wife is overwhelming you, don't marry a second.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by concept65: 10:29am On Jan 18
RisenPhoenix1:


With polygamy, there would be rivalry. Each woman would double up on her efforts to keep more of their mutual husband's attention. There will also always be a nagging feeling that another wife is getting more sex than her, and this will trigger the wife to try to get even more from the husband (keeping a greater share of the market so to speak). Finally, a woman always finds a man infinitely more attractive when he is not readily available to her beck and call; and it also triggers their possessiveness when other available females find him attractive. All these complexities will work in his favour.

A woman in a female herd does not think the same way as a woman with exclusive attention to a man. Polygamy is a woman leveller and destroys all their transactional techniques; that is why women hate it. It is like the difference between a customer's options in a monopoly and in a free market; the man being the customer in this case.

Lol grin gosh you are so dreamy... you really live in fantasy land....or it is that the women in your village can be manipulated in this way? Set them up in polygamous mess and watch them fight over u? Even women in the most backward of villages value themselves these days and wouldn't allow such. Wake up! This is the 21st century!

1 Like

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