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My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by maiquel: 9:06am On Jan 20, 2021
The marriage is more than 20years and they can't sit and have a rapport with each other?
Are they in the US or in this our Nigeria.
If you can't talk to your wife talk to someone who can call her to order now. She no get mama or papa?
Report her now...

1 Like

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by stacyadams: 9:29am On Jan 20, 2021
omojesu202:
It is no news that most marriages are collapsing.
Mine is just two years but I also see signs of collapse.
What's happening in my brothers marriage is painful to me because I know the financial investment and sacrifices he puts into it. I don't know what he did to his wife but she has turned his children against him.
imagine that you cannot tell your 20 years old first son to wash your car like 7am, the mother will tell you that you should allow him to enjoy his sleep. Not once, not twice and not thrice.
This is the children you'll go hungry and borrow money to pay high school fees to make sure they go to good schools.
It is painful to me because I knew when he was paying 200k per term each on three kids while his basic was just 300k.
Now the firstborn and secondborn will disobey him on ordinary washing of car just because he can no longer meet up.
Please how would you handle such issues?
You might just hear that a man killed his wife and three children in the news. That would not be our portion.

From outside, she has been a good woman but she didn't blend the children to their father. They nature of his job takes him on transfer always and not stationed with his family but regular monthly visit is always there.



Lock the two sons in d room, , beat them till they collapse, pour them water to wake up and continue d beating...this year all of us must get brain

3 Likes

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by stacyadams: 9:31am On Jan 20, 2021
omojesu202:


he's my only brother from same parents who called to put me in the picture of what he's facing even though we stay in different states. I should not be concerned

The fault is from ur brother,,,,,,him Neva create d father figure on his house hold...

3 Likes

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by frozen70(f): 1:10pm On Jan 20, 2021
omojesu202:
It is no news that most marriages are collapsing.
Mine is just two years but I also see signs of collapse.
What's happening in my brothers marriage is painful to me because I know the financial investment and sacrifices he puts into it. I don't know what he did to his wife but she has turned his children against him.
imagine that you cannot tell your 20 years old first son to wash your car like 7am, the mother will tell you that you should allow him to enjoy his sleep. Not once, not twice and not thrice.
This is the children you'll go hungry and borrow money to pay high school fees to make sure they go to good schools.
It is painful to me because I knew when he was paying 200k per term each on three kids while his basic was just 300k.
Now the firstborn and secondborn will disobey him on ordinary washing of car just because he can no longer meet up.
Please how would you handle such issues?
You might just hear that a man killed his wife and three children in the news. That would not be our portion.

From outside, she has been a good woman but she didn't blend the children to their father. They nature of his job takes him on transfer always and not stationed with his family but regular monthly visit is always there.

The truth is that, there is a cold war going on between your brother and his wife over an unresolved or untreated issues and the only way she can make it pain the husband is to instigate the children against him in such manner

If you can approach her, have a heart to heart talk with her and don't be surprise there are issues that wasn't properly handled

Even if you ask your brother he will say he did nothing because he may have forgotten

If you can get the truth its definitely from the wife and then you can mediate for them

No marriage is sweet they all have bitter taste

3 Likes

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by omojesu202(m): 3:13pm On Jan 20, 2021
frozen70:


The truth is that, there is a cold war going on between your brother and his wife over an unresolved or untreated issues and the only way she can make it pain the husband is to instigate the children against him in such manner

If you can approach her, have a heart to heart talk with her and don't be surprise there are issues that wasn't properly handled

Even if you ask your brother he will say he did nothing because he may have forgotten

If you can get the truth its definitely from the wife and then you can mediate for them

No marriage is sweet they all have bitter taste

thanks for your input.
you're not far from the truth.
I told my brother to ask her what his offence was but he said he won't.
I'll have to call her.

2 Likes

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by frozen70(f): 3:33pm On Jan 20, 2021
omojesu202:


thanks for your input.
you're not far from the truth.
I told my brother to ask her what his offence was but he said he won't.
I'll have to call her.

Your brother will not ask her because he feels he is the man and will not reduce his ego to ask her, whereas he doesn't know that its a piled up of unresolved issues

Feel free and ask his wife then get someone that is very matured and friendly with them to come and solve the problem for absolute peace, if untreated it will get a stage of depression for him

1 Like

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by osusuallstars: 5:46pm On Jan 20, 2021
Goodness
Freedom to all prisoners
Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Bansempire: 5:49pm On Jan 20, 2021
omo you see collapse in your marriage and instead of you to focus on your marriage you are worried about your brother's....sha una problem as for me marriage is a no no no....even had an argument with my mom yesterday about getting married

1 Like

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Nobody: 5:51pm On Jan 20, 2021
boldx:
Washing a car or not washing is not a problem at all.

Most teenagers and post teens need to be reminded to do a lot of things in the house.

Please do not intervene in husband and wife matter though he is your brother.

His children are no longer kids and should be handled wisely.

If they don't wash his car, the man should wash his car by himself. It's no big deal. I wash my car myself despite having big teenagers. They do once in a while though.

I have consistently faced this challenge. Please don't make a mountain out of a mole hill.

So how will the boys learn responsibility and accountability if you don't allow them to do chores like washing the car

1 Like

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Tap0lane: 5:52pm On Jan 20, 2021
This one na the most foolish comment I read on NL in a long while. Sir, you are a very foolish soul.
boldx:
Washing a car or not washing is not a problem at all.

Most teenagers and post teens need to be reminded to do a lot of things in the house.

Please do not intervene in husband and wife matter though he is your brother.

His children are no longer kids and should be handled wisely.

If they don't wash his car, the man should wash his car by himself. It's no big deal. I wash my car myself despite having big teenagers. They do once in a while though.

I have consistently faced this challenge. Please don't make a mountain out of a mole hill.

2 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by KanuSE: 5:54pm On Jan 20, 2021
Let it CRASH
Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by segzyndpep(m): 5:54pm On Jan 20, 2021
Brandonx:
Wo marriage is overhyped undecided Any marriage that want to collapse should collapse.
If he has money he should go on vacation to a developed country, sleep with women from different race and forget about those children and wife before they send him to his early grave all in the name of saving marriage.
Sense
Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Nobody: 5:55pm On Jan 20, 2021
Its a lesson for you to learn, open your eyes very well when choosing a wife, chii59 is a typical example of your brothers wife. lipsrsealed undecided,

2 Likes

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by sammirano: 5:57pm On Jan 20, 2021
Igbo my 100% bet

1 Like

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Enugupikin: 5:57pm On Jan 20, 2021
omojesu202:
It is no news that most marriages are collapsing.
Mine is just two years but I also see signs of collapse.

What's happening in my brothers marriage is painful to me because I know the financial investment and sacrifices he puts into it. I don't know what he did to his wife but she has turned his children against him.

Imagine that you cannot tell your 20 years old first son to wash your car like 7am, the mother will tell you that you should allow him to enjoy his sleep. Not once, not twice and not thrice.
This is the children you'll go hungry and borrow money to pay high school fees to make sure they go to good schools.

It is painful to me because I knew when he was paying 200k per term each on three kids while his basic was just 300k.

Now the firstborn and secondborn will disobey him on ordinary washing of car just because he can no longer meet up.

Please how would you handle such issues?
You might just hear that a man killed his wife and three children in the news. That would not be our portion.

From outside, she has been a good woman but she didn't blend the children to their father. The nature of his job takes him on transfer always and not stationed with his family but regular monthly visit is always there.
This was what caught my attention the most, seems you guys married for the wrong reason and the problem could be from you guys too, look inwards and hope is not a generational curse

2 Likes

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Farid24224(m): 5:57pm On Jan 20, 2021
boldx:
Washing a car or not washing is not a problem at all.

Most teenagers and post teens need to be reminded to do a lot of things in the house.

Please do not intervene in husband and wife matter though he is your brother.

His children are no longer kids and should be handled wisely.

If they don't wash his car, the man should wash his car by himself. It's no big deal. I wash my car myself despite having big teenagers. They do once in a while though.

I have consistently faced this challenge. Please don't make a mountain out of a mole hill.

Wow!

I always wash my dad's car, I can't stand him doing it himself...I feel ashamed.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Pauladex(m): 5:58pm On Jan 20, 2021
o
Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by delishpot: 5:59pm On Jan 20, 2021
Na wa... Op, if you have kids its your duty to work, starve if you must and take care of them. Counting his sacrifices to raise (HIS) kids he dragged jejely from heaven into this world doesnt make sense to me. Being a parent is a responsibilty just that us humans always think we are doing our kids favour by taking care of them.. because it seems God the giver of kids dont flog parents when the abbandon their responsibilities towards their. kids.

Anyways, the kids need to honour their dad so long as he is playing a role in their lives. The mom should let the man relate with them so far as they are not in any form of danger. Let them wake up and wash car if that is what he wants. Let them experience him first hand wether good or bad.. If good its his gain if bad its his loss (maybe)

Also, how has his relationship with his wife and kids been before now? Has he been a dragon breathing fire when tney were younger.

The likelihood of a mom turning her kids against their father who has been good is very verrry slim. But if he was a wayward man who treated the home like his barracks simply because he was feeding and paying school fees then the kids might resent him no matter how much he spends.

Same way a violent and emotionally abusive mom who sacrifices time and opportunity to make sure kids eat good food and wear clean clothes might be met with resentment by her kids.

Emotional balance is also necessary for kids. A poor couple who hussle in unity to raise their kids would have more balanced and loving kids than a rich or average one where needs are met but paarents are abusive in any way and home is chaotic

3 Likes

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by deavicky(m): 6:00pm On Jan 20, 2021
omojesu202:
It is no news that most marriages are collapsing.
Mine is just two years but I also see signs of collapse.

What's happening in my brothers marriage is painful to me because I know the financial investment and sacrifices he puts into it. I don't know what he did to his wife but she has turned his children against him.

Imagine that you cannot tell your 20 years old first son to wash your car like 7am, the mother will tell you that you should allow him to enjoy his sleep. Not once, not twice and not thrice.
This is the children you'll go hungry and borrow money to pay high school fees to make sure they go to good schools.

It is painful to me because I knew when he was paying 200k per term each on three kids while his basic was just 300k.

Now the firstborn and secondborn will disobey him on ordinary washing of car just because he can no longer meet up.

Please how would you handle such issues?
You might just hear that a man killed his wife and three children in the news. That would not be our portion.

From outside, she has been a good woman but she didn't blend the children to their father. The nature of his job takes him on transfer always and not stationed with his family but regular monthly visit is always there.
he should go for DNA test because it might be away the woman is using to prevent them from getting used the him till their real father shows up.

1 Like

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by kalu61(m): 6:00pm On Jan 20, 2021
bukatyne:


While bonding with the children is on the man, let's not ignore that the mother teaches the children to disobey their father by undermining his authority over them.

How can a father call his sons to wash the car and the mother say 'they are sleeping'?

Did they go to the farm overnight? Can't they wash the car and go back to sleep?

If sleep is so important to them, can't they wash it the night before?

And shouldn't a 20 year old help his father dress up for work? Polish his shoes, iron his clothes, help him co-ordinate his wears in the newest fashion?

Let's assume the man doesn't actively seek to bond with his kids (a lot of Nigerian fathers are guilty); can't the mother encourage it especially if they are not in an abusive marriage?

The mother should be the one pushing the kids to wash his car, polish his socks, iron his shirts, pick his tie etc. That way, they would bond and the father can pass nuggets to the sons.

The sons would also learn how to be responsible, co-ordinate/lead a family, note the father's mistakes to improve on etc.

If the OP was complaining about the sons not sitting with their father to watch CNN, I would ask if the father sowed the seed to reap such.

But disrespect on the mother's orders and with her backing? Na!
I beginning to like you. You are qualified to be called a humanoid.

You can separate reason from emotion and surprisingly a woman who is an emotional being.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Chris2863(m): 6:01pm On Jan 20, 2021
grin grin I celebrate with you
cutiedave:
FTC...after 8 years on nairaland.... grin

A word to someone out there...your time to shine is coming...

Just continue believing in JESUS

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by 234dm8: 6:01pm On Jan 20, 2021
Brooke60:
Yours is two years and about to collapse, you no face that oo. You are facing the one with a son of 20 year old. Guy!!!
Mind your business black ass slut

1 Like

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by deavicky(m): 6:02pm On Jan 20, 2021
Brooke60:
Yours is two years and about to collapse, you no face that oo. You are facing the one with a son of 20 year old. Guy!!!
imagine the bagger.
Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by samwillyco1(m): 6:02pm On Jan 20, 2021
Noted
Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Taywon: 6:04pm On Jan 20, 2021
Yourself, your brother and his wife yeye dey worry una
Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Enugupikin: 6:04pm On Jan 20, 2021
omojesu202:


I said that because of my love for him and what he has invested in his marriage. I haven't invested 1/10000 of his. Of course I'll not want a broken home but I believe if it would not work it's better to go in peace than in pieces.
I can bet your two balls that you're already cheating on your wife. Don't ask me how I knew wink

2 Likes

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by kherlly(m): 6:06pm On Jan 20, 2021
Tell him to do DNA asap

1 Like

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Ubdavis(m): 6:07pm On Jan 20, 2021
cutiedave:
FTC...after 8 years on nairaland.... grin

A word to someone out there...your time to shine is coming...

Just continue believing in JESUS


We are discussing serious issue here...
Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Dukeolumidemans(m): 6:08pm On Jan 20, 2021
He did'nt handle his family well and I stand by my words. I wasn't with mine for alot of time and I always made sure everyone was up and running. Eventually I left my job and relocated to where they are just to make sure everything blends well...
Na the hand wey u take carry follow ur wife especially when u get money, she go take follow u back. Most of them change when u go broke. Lastly it will eventually affect the relationship which will in turn, affect ur kids through their mom.
This was why I married my friend when I had nothing and made sure she listened to me when I didn't have kobo.
With the way it is right now, hin Landlord hand and hin village people hand don dey dey inside small small from every angle. Let him do a DNA test and save himself some future heartbreak/drama first, because I see nothing but trouble ahead...

2 Likes

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by 234dm8: 6:08pm On Jan 20, 2021
You should be happy that the marriage is about to collapse.

Your brother will live a happy and fulfilled life if the union eventually collapses.

Let him go for thanksgiving for he has been delivered from the unworthy stress of marriage.

1 Like

Re: My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse. by Chris2863(m): 6:08pm On Jan 20, 2021
armyofone:
Why wash your car daily ? Once a week is enough.
Task them car wash duty on Saturdays after breakfast and see how it goes.

Dirty boy grin

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