Good day all I just decide to bring this here to seek matured advise, please don't mind the errors in spellings and construction. I also request that this be taken to FP. It should a bit lengthy but I will try to be brief.

I have been dating this girl since 2011 Feb precisely, though I started asking her out around November 2009 and she finally accepted in Feb 2011. I know you may be wondering why I persist with the long time of refusal, well the answer ain't far as I will not want to go into much details but she's one of the best when you talk of women she's everything a man will want. Let me leave it at that. Upon her acceptance in Feb 2011 we started cos I already met with the mother during the period of asking her out because of gifts I use to buy for her the mother asked her to invite me over

On getting to the house the mother asked me what my intentions are towards her daughter I told her I love the girl and will want to marry her. The mother said well seeing me her spirit accepts me but it's left for her daughter to accept cos she told her she's not said anything to me, she said if her daughter accepts me fine she can't choose husband for her daughter but then all she wants from me is that I the take good care of her daughter and another thing is that the father wants her to go to school to which I agreed to wait for her. Mind you she just finished sec school then i was already working and ok and the age difference between us is 4 years.

By May of that same 2011 I traveled out for an assignment which lasted for 9 months and I returned by January 2012. All these while we had good communication and the relationship was one everyone would wish to have. She eventually got admission that 2012 mind you upon returning back from the assignment I went for we would've done our wedding but there was already an agreement that I wait for her to graduate. I wasn't afraid cos I so much love and trust her.

She was a good girl in school most of her mates and seniors I've spoken with always attest to that. In fact one of the ladies I spoke with said you're lucky to have one of the best. I can vouch for her on that. I wasn't the one that sponsored her education but then I supported cos monthly I send her pocket money and whenever she's in need of anything am always there both morally emotional as the case maybe. I do most of her assignment for her even though we're far apart I just send to her mail and she prints and add cover page.

The relationship was ok no issues all these while, fast forward to 2017 when she graduated and was to go for service, I told her it's time we start our marriage plans she agreed and by March 2018 we did our introduction. She was still serving then, and I started troubling her concerning the wedding to discuss it with the father. In fact during the introduction we requested for list for the marriage proper to which the father said they're going to get back to us.

I continue calling the father he wasn't forth coming cos we're not in same city and base on our work we don't move freely you must obtain permit. When I noticed the father is not forthcoming I had to use the money at hand to complete my building. Now the father's excuse has been that he wants her to get work before she gets married hmm.

I said well let me just give them time since I was able to wait for her all these years the remaining won't be problem. It continued like that till last year I became angree and I told my woman that your father has been insisting on you getting work before you get married is it what you also want?? The major problem I have with my woman as things started getting bad was that she's always like"my mother say, my father say" and I was like at your age 28 you mean you don't have say about your relationship?? She became angree that am talking to her anyhow, she sent me all sort of insultive messages to which I didn't reply any.

But then I was already thinking of leaving her, cos aside the fact that she couldn't make decision on her own she wants me to relocate and live in same city with her parents. And I know if that happens the mother will definitely be in charge of my home cos there's nothing my woman does without consulting the mother.

When she saw that all the messages she sent I didn't reply she started begging that she was just pained about the whole issue I forgave her and we continued but it wasn't as it use to be and when I noticed things weren't working I told her that we should part ways since she can't convince her people for us to get married while she looks for work.

I got the insult I have never gotten the whole of my life from her because of this decision, my thinking was that if I say that to her she may see reasons to try convince her people about us but I got insults upon insults, though I have been told before that I think she's a gentle girl, we may have dated that long but I don't know her. I didn't believe the message but with the insults I started giving the message a thought, mind you she's not a flirt oo, it has been a long distance relationship all the while but then I can still vouch for her cos of the family she came from.

The reason for this write-up is that, since I left her I haven't been able to love any girl, I am not an ugly guy and not too handsome but I am that guy that girls always want to come close to I know of ladies that have said to me I wish I can have you all to my self, I have met ladies that ordinarily I should've gotten married to even as far back 2014 but no matter how you try as a lady to come close I will always tell you I have somebody I want to get married to and they'll back off.

In fact one lady confessed to me that she loved me the moment I told her i am not married but I have a serious relationship that will lead to marriage soonest, she said even married men lie about their status just to get what they want but she loved me cos I was being sincere. Now even with all these people around me I still don't feel or love the way I do for my ex. I don't know what to do.

I still think of her and I don't seem to see any other woman and feel anything for them as I feel for her and recently I feel I want her back. What do I do

Since you love her so much..why don't u try to work it with her..and tell her all dat u told us..about ur fears and all..I mean u guys have been in a relationship for over 9 years..u are supposed to understand each other by now...Communication is key in any relationship. What I see is lack of communication..

Try to talk to her..did u ever talk to her about her goals..it is not every lady dat what to get married immediately she graduates..some want to start a career..even if it for a year or two..I think u don't know what ur lady wants..Like I said lack of communication

I sincerely feel your pain bro. But what I have to tell you is that when your girls family starts delaying your introduction towards their daughter unnecessarily, it can easily be interpreted to mean that they don't want you to marry their daughter.

Her parents are aware of your relationship, and they told you to wait till she graduates which you did against all odds. Now rather than see you as a responsible in-law, her dad is reluctant in giving you their list, my dear he doesn't want you to wed her.

Finally, the insults your girl gave you speaks volumes. From experience if a loving girlfriend suddenly becomes highly insulting towards you, it means the love and respect she once had for you no longer exists.

My advice? Don't reach out to her, you've done enough, if she's still interested in you, she'll come around, if she isn't, then regardless of how painful its obviously going to be for you, you just have to let go for your own sanity and peace of mind.

You are confusing yourself

Its obvious her parents have been grooming her for a "more befitting suitor". Move on my brother. If you try to reconcile with her, she will sting you with that reminder all through your marriage years of how she was on her own you came and coerced her into a marriage she and her parents never wanted. Trust me, everyman will feel miserable hearing that from his wife every fortnight

OP, I doubt if you even attend college.
What a Grammatical blunder....................

It's not unusual to feel so attached to someone you dated 9years. In simple psychic, you shouldn't expect not to go through such a feeling after dating so long. It however doesn't guarantee she's the right person. You've seen her reactions to your actions includes anger and indecisiveness. So make your choice right.

You don't know what the Lord is doing for you behind the scene.
Oga forget about the girl and move on with your life.
It's obvious the father doesn't want you to marry his daughter, the girl too isn't ready psychologically.

I don't wanna Sound Rude but You're not Man Enough... Imagine and picture,She has moved on and with a better man right now...That would help!!

Anything wen make u go back to her, dem go use you double take your eye see shege they are not serious and I suspect they have an alternative option probably overseas who they have prepared the daughter for and are just using delay tactics to keep you down. Good thing you didn’t fall, never look back.

What is meant for you will definitely comes back to you. Just try your best and leave the rest for God. God understand better.

I see premium tears snd regrets coming your way if you go back to that girl. The father probably didn't want you to marry his daughter so he was playing games and your exgirl was aware. Take your mind away from her and move forward.

The signs are there already, young man take a cue, use your head, and boldly walk away from this charade.

Obviously, the family are not looking forward to you wedding the girl, so.. Don't force it, you'll get someone else,definitely.

there is fire on the mountain.

there is another Man, she is considering for marriage that's y the list is delaying.


pls move on though not ease but try.
if you want to go back in the relationship then decide to relocate, that's reason y they want to reject you

If she's 28 and her family is delaying the marriage after all the wait, it's very likely they don't want her to be married to you. Since she's also subscribing to that script, then she has dwindling feelings for you. You also said she insulted you; she probably doesn't have respect for you anymore. She was even telling you to relocate to the city where her parents stay, that's awkward; she wanted to be calling the shot in your marriage, you should never allow that. It's very normal that you still cannot get over her considering the duration of your relationship, but with time, you will. I advise you move on. Perhaps you guys are not meant to be together.

Nazgul:
I sincerely feel your pain bro. But what I have to tell you is that when your girls family starts delaying your introduction towards their daughter unnecessarily, it can easily be interpreted to mean that they don't want you to marry their daughter.

Her parents are aware of your relationship, and they told you to wait till she graduates which you did against all odds. Now rather than see you as a responsible in-law, her dad is reluctant in giving you their list, my dear he doesn't want you to wed her.

Finally, the insults your girl gave you speaks volumes. From experience if a loving girlfriend suddenly becomes highly insulting towards you, it means the love and respect she once had for you no longer exists.

My advice? Don't reach out to her, you've done enough, if she's still interested in you, she'll come around, if she isn't, then regardless of how painful its obviously going to be for you, you just have to let go for your own sanity and peace of mind.

Thanks Sir

WrittyWritter:
Since you love her so much..why don't u try to work it with her..and tell her all dat u told us..about ur fears and all..I mean u guys have been in a relationship for over 9 years..u are supposed to understand each other by now...Communication is key in any relationship. What I see is lack of communication..

Try to talk to her..did u ever talk to her about her goals..it is not every lady dat what to get married immediately she graduates..some want to start a career..even if it for a year or two..I think u don't know what ur lady wants..Like I said lack of communication

Thank you Ma

Joetttimua1811:
Good day all I just decide to bring this here to seek matured advise, please don't mind the errors in spellings and construction. I also request that this be taken to FP. It should a bit lengthy but I will try to be brief.

I have been dating this girl since 2011 Feb precisely, though I started asking her out around November 2009 and she finally accepted in Feb 2011. I know you may be wondering why I persist with the long time of refusal, well the answer ain't far as I will not want to go into much details but she's one of the best when you talk of women she's everything a man will want. Let me leave it at that. Upon her acceptance in Feb 2011 we started cos I already met with the mother during the period of asking her out because of gifts I use to buy for her the mother asked her to invite me over

On getting to the house the mother asked me what my intentions are towards her daughter I told her I love the girl and will want to marry her. The mother said well seeing me her spirit accepts me but it's left for her daughter to accept cos she told her she's not said anything to me, she said if her daughter accepts me fine she can't choose husband for her daughter but then all she wants from me is that I the take good care of her daughter and another thing is that the father wants her to go to school to which I agreed to wait for her. Mind you she just finished sec school then i was already working and ok and the age difference between us is 4 years.

By May of that same 2011 I traveled out for an assignment which lasted for 9 months and I returned by January 2012. All these while we had good communication and the relationship was one everyone would wish to have. She eventually got admission that 2012 mind you upon returning back from the assignment I went for we would've done our wedding but there was already an agreement that I wait for her to graduate. I wasn't afraid cos I so much love and trust her.

She was a good girl in school most of her mates and seniors I've spoken with always attest to that. In fact one of the ladies I spoke with said you're lucky to have one of the best. I can vouch for her on that. I wasn't the one that sponsored her education but then I supported cos monthly I send her pocket money and whenever she's in need of anything am always there both morally emotional as the case maybe. I do most of her assignment for her even though we're far apart I just send to her mail and she prints and add cover page.

The relationship was ok no issues all these while, fast forward to 2017 when she graduated and was to go for service, I told her it's time we start our marriage plans she agreed and by March 2018 we did our introduction. She was still serving then, and I started troubling her concerning the wedding to discuss it with the father. In fact during the introduction we requested for list for the marriage proper to which the father said they're going to get back to us.

I continue calling the father he wasn't forth coming cos we're not in same city and base on our work we don't move freely you must obtain permit. When I noticed the father is not forthcoming I had to use the money at hand to complete my building. Now the father's excuse has been that he wants her to get work before she gets married hmm.

I said well let me just give them time since I was able to wait for her all these years the remaining won't be problem. It continued like that till last year I became angree and I told my woman that your father has been insisting on you getting work before you get married is it what you also want?? The major problem I have with my woman as things started getting bad was that she's always like"my mother say, my father say" and I was like at your age 28 you mean you don't have say about your relationship?? She became angree that am talking to her anyhow, she sent me all sort of insultive messages to which I didn't reply any.

But then I was already thinking of leaving her, cos aside the fact that she couldn't make decision on her own she wants me to relocate and live in same city with her parents. And I know if that happens the mother will definitely be in charge of my home cos there's nothing my woman does without consulting the mother.

When she saw that all the messages she sent I didn't reply she started begging that she was just pained about the whole issue I forgave her and we continued but it wasn't as it use to be and when I noticed things weren't working I told her that we should part ways since she can't convince her people for us to get married while she looks for work.

I got the insult I have never gotten the whole of my life from her because of this decision, my thinking was that if I say that to her she may see reasons to try convince her people about us but I got insults upon insults, though I have been told before that I think she's a gentle girl, we may have dated that long but I don't know her. I didn't believe the message but with the insults I started giving the message a thought, mind you she's not a flirt oo, it has been a long distance relationship all the while but then I can still vouch for her cos of the family she came from.

The reason for this write-up is that, since I left her I haven't been able to love any girl, I am not an ugly guy and not too handsome but I am that guy that girls always want to come close to I know of ladies that have said to me I wish I can have you all to my self, I have met ladies that ordinarily I should've gotten married to even as far back 2014 but no matter how you try as a lady to come close I will always tell you I have somebody I want to get married to and they'll back off.

In fact one lady confessed to me that she loved me the moment I told her i am not married but I have a serious relationship that will lead to marriage soonest, she said even married men lie about their status just to get what they want but she loved me cos I was being sincere. Now even with all these people around me I still don't feel or love the way I do for my ex. I don't know what to do.

I still think of her and I don't seem to see any other woman and feel anything for them as I feel for her and recently I feel I want her back. What do I do

@bold how will you feel if you heard that the woman you claim to love is getting married next month?

You better get entangled with one of those ladies that lurk around you. As time goes on, the love you have for that lady will fade away and the love for the lady at hand will grow. Don't be caught in the cobweb of a lady.....

Firstly, do not apologise for expressing yourself. English is not your native language neither is it an indication of how Intelligent you are.

You're still seeing that lady as the innocent girl you met as a teen(with all the I trust her), I was once there... People change and nobody is exclusively made for you.
Try to be open minded, you may meet someone better.
SAY NO TO ONEITIS.

Go where you're celebrated!
Obviously, that family doesn't want you and they aren't doing you any favour by giving you their daughter.

Time will heal you... just move on.

What's tha business?

WrittyWritter:
Since you love her so much..why don't u try to work it with her..and tell her all dat u told us..about ur fears and all..I mean u guys have been in a relationship for over 9 years..u are supposed to understand each other by now...Communication is key in any relationship. What I see is lack of communication..

Try to talk to her..did u ever talk to her about her goals..it is not every lady dat what to get married immediately she graduates..some want to start a career..even if it for a year or two..I think u don't know what ur lady wants..Like I said lack of communication

i
lol... Normal lady advise....no logic just emotion.
he should talk to her,he doesn't no what she wants? really...... so it should be all about her at the expense of the man right.

what about all the insult he gotso he should still be one begging her after all the insult..nawa ooo
until when you ladies start thinking with brain instead of hole the better ooo.

parkervero:

@bold how will you feel if you heard that the woman you claim to love is getting married next month?

You better get entangled with one of those ladies that lurk around you. As time goes on, the love you have for that lady will fade away and the love for the lady at hand will grow. Don't be caught in the cobweb of a lady.....

Hmm

Godoverevery:
i
lol... Normal lady advise....no logic just emotion.
he should talk to her,he doesn't no what she wants? really...... so it should be all about her at the expense of the man right.

what about all the insult he gotso he should still be one begging her after all the insult..nawa ooo
until when you ladies start thinking with brain instead of hole the better ooo.

Thanks

Thiwalade:
Firstly, do not apologise for expressing yourself. English is not your native language neither is it an indication of how Intelligent you are.

You're still seeing that lady as the innocent girl you met as a teen(with all the I trust her), I was once there... People change and nobody is exclusively made for you.
Try to be open minded, you may meet someone better.
SAY NO TO ONEITIS.

Thanks Sir

2years to toast a girl? Should I tell him


OP, DONT MARRY THAT GIRL, move on!!!!!!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

naijadrivablog:
2years to toast a girl? Should I tell him


OP, DONT MARRY THAT GIRL, move on!!!!!!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Ok Sir

KennedyKennedy2:
OP, I doubt if you even attend college.
What a Grammatical blunder....................

This comment of yours is filled with one of the worst grammatical mistakes one can ever make in English language

Why not take your time and read more on ellipsis

Oop sorry to ask, are u a graduate? Because many things can attribute to her parent sudden change in behaviour, education is very important, and your girl has gone to school and experience the other side of life, she has been exposed and all, probably dated someone more highly intellectual than you are in school and suddenly she now looks at you like one uneducated mofo, the truth is, no graduate will marry someone that ain't educated, it's very rear, I may be wrong though but, in my own opinion, let her be and go look for your wife, she ain't one, because that marriage may not last for a long time judging with the fact that her parents still make decisions for her. It never ends well.

Imagine the silly excuse of her parent, that they want her to get work first, that's baloney

Nicklaus619:
Oop sorry to ask, are u a graduate? Because many things can attribute to her parent sudden change in behaviour, education is very important, and your girl has gone to school and experience the other side of life, she has been exposed and all, probably dated someone more highly intellectual than you are in school and suddenly she now looks at you like one uneducated mofo, the truth is, no graduate will marry someone that ain't educated, it's very rear, I may be wrong though but, in my own opinion, let her be and go look for your wife, she ain't one, because that marriage may not last for a long time judging with the fact that her parents still make decisions for her. It never ends well.

Imagine the silly excuse of her parent, that they want her to get work first, that's baloney

Hmm thanks