It's been depressing for me in my family lately. You know, when you are the first child and still jobless for many years after going to school, younger ones growing older and becoming better than you, and you watch your family treating you with contempt and in no way are they fond of you.

For me, these things elk more than any social abuse. And so I hide behind my depression and greet my mama "thank ma" after every free food. Within my mind I knew my time is limited. I knew it won't be long before I do the do - you know, that thing every depressed person will love to do.

One morning, my dad called and asked if I could get on a bus and travel to Lagos for a church program. He said I will be back once the program is over after a week.

Again my depressed mind can only think about one thing: run, run, run, and never return.

So I ask you comrades here with your heads clearer than mine, "which is better? Depression or running away?

Note: I've noticed that staying away from my family always improve my mental health, but com'on, THIS IS MY FAMILY AM TALKING ABOUT.

YourBestWriter:
It's been depressing for me in my family lately. You know, when you are the first child and still jobless for many years after going to school, younger ones growing older and becoming better than you, and you watch your family treating you with contempt and in no way are they fond of you.

For me, these things elk more than any social abuse. And so I hide behind my depression and greet my mama "thank ma" after every free food. Within my mind I knew my time is limited. I knew it won't be long before I do the do - you know, that thing every depressed person will love to do.

One morning, my dad called and asked if I could get on a bus and travel to Lagos for a church program. He said I will be back once the program is over after a week.

Again my depressed mind can only think about one thing: run, run, run, and never return.

So I ask you comrades here with your heads clearer than mine, "which is better? Depression or running away?

Note: I've noticed that staying away from my family always improve my mental health, but com'on, THIS IS MY FAMILY AM TALKING ABOUT.

Same thing here...
I swear I'm also thinking of running away and never coming back...
Also a first born, wasted 5years to study engineering and nothing but pain + pain + pain... I almost lost my life to ordinary MatrixEnergy group test by accident and didn't get the job but a horrible depression inducing scar...
Nothing is going well... I hate teaching and is my saving grace...
I also feel better when away from my family...
All I know is that my father always threatened that I am going to suffer and I am suffering now...
Just because his own parents didn't take care of him...
God forbid being a Nigerian!

Run....

illicit:
Run....

No...
Its the depression that give that kind of thoughts nevertheless.

Your biggest mistake was waiting/looking for a job created by someone else. Your education is not playing out for you. A true graduate would find a way to create a breakthrough. Breakthroughs don't happen these days, we create them. You have to start from somewhere no matter how low it is. If non-graduates are finding ways to survive/earn/provide, then you have no excuse. If handicaps are employers of labours, then you have no excuse. Start small, start humbly, growth will follow. Many started with a meagre capital of N5000, today they are earning big.

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET

I know you'd want to ask how that is possible for someone who already feels depressed and wants to elope...
Just a few points to help:

* Learn to find the good and positive things around you. Don't always see everything as bad.

* Engage yourself. Upgrade your level of responsibility in the home. Decide to take up some chores and activities around the house voluntarily and be faithful to doing them. Build some happiness around these activities, feel that sense of a 'job well done' and see them as small wins. Stop lying around the house, get stuck in your room all day or have the TV remote to yourself acting all up like the 'Big Brother'(You sure don't want to hear some words from African parents...sometimes they will not talk, they'll just be looking at you with some kind 'side bad eye').

* Engage yourself learning online. The current pandemic situation has made learning much more flexible. Utilize it. There are lots of free learning site/vlogs on the internet today. Choose to improve on your tech skills...it could be mastering excel, powerpoint or word, coding/programming, graphics design, fashion designing, something or anything you can practice.

* Sometimes family isn't the best of company but we got no choice but to stick with them. After all they are family and we can't love them less. I won't advise that you go a visiting on a short holiday to an aunt's or uncle's coz I don't know your level of relationship with extended family. But if you've got one you can visit without issues, then take a little break from your own home. And mind you, you can't go there and be sleeping and eating all day. Expectations from you will even be much more than required as compared to when in your own home. Aunties and uncles usually don't like people that 'finish their food' even if it's only a cup of water you'd taken all day.

* Be positive about yourself. Frankly, you yourself are your own greatest motivator. Speak positively to yourself. Waive off negative thoughts that comes to your head. Life's a process with so many challenges...don't conclusively see these challenges as failures. See them as hurdles to be jumped.

* Be kind with your words when you speak. Anger, frustration and resentment bring up their ugly heads when we speak without we knowing. Don't overthink certain statements directed towards you. It makes you assume and then makes you think what is not.

* Don't say you don't like teaching job o. That's where so many started from. It help you build some sort of network and opens you to some opportunities somehow somehow as you go out everyday.

YourBestWriter:
It's been depressing for me in my family lately. You know, when you are the first child and still jobless for many years after going to school, younger ones growing older and becoming better than you, and you watch your family treating you with contempt and in no way are they fond of you.

For me, these things elk more than any social abuse. And so I hide behind my depression and greet my mama "thank ma" after every free food. Within my mind I knew my time is limited. I knew it won't be long before I do the do - you know, that thing every depressed person will love to do.

One morning, my dad called and asked if I could get on a bus and travel to Lagos for a church program. He said I will be back once the program is over after a week.

Again my depressed mind can only think about one thing: run, run, run, and never return.

So I ask you comrades here with your heads clearer than mine, "which is better? Depression or running away?

Note: I've noticed that staying away from my family always improve my mental health, but com'on, THIS IS MY FAMILY AM TALKING ABOUT.

If staying away from your family for a while will reduce the pressure, do it.
If you have a friend that stays in a different state from where you reside, ask for permission to come over and squat with him for some while. It'll do you and your mental health some good, and reduce the pressure you feel if you take some time to yourself. You need some time off!