I ask this quite passionately,
I don't want to bore you with the details.
It is causing an irreconcilably differences.
I remember how it was for her

not 100% but partly ur responsibility. If theres love, there must be reasonable sacrifices from both sides. OK?

don buchi:


I ask this quite passionately,
I don't want to bore you with the details.
It is causing an irreconcilably differences.
I remember how it was for her

If you have help her, sometimes ur happiness will depend on hers

hmm! this is shaky territory for me.
my opinion though is:
i feel obliged to give when she asks
and thats only if i have or if i can get it.
but if i don't i spell it out.
if it becomes a regular affair, am prob not going to like it.

truth is she get Papa and Mama, so she's their full responsibility until you're married then she becomes yours.

@times i wonder if relationships are all about this: the guy giving while the chic receives, that tradition vexes me, but that seems to be the most popular one. A society where the lady sees the man as some 'always online' ATM, SAD.

give her if you inclined to.

my opinion.

Not absolutely! You shuld only be assisting her with wateva u have& willing to offer & she shuld always appreciate it BUT wen ure married, den she's ur full time responsibility.

To some extent but not all.

Yeah, But not entirely ços she is still an iindependenthuman oh,

skfa1:

To some extent but not all.

i am with you on this

SHE IS BUT NT 100 PERCENT
BUT YU GUYS ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER,,,.

these topics are quite common on nairaland where it seems for the woman in a relationship its all about money.

For a hardworking, honest female like myself . i find it quite sad, do 9ja women not work anymore that everything is about the guy having to buy some ATM card or brazillian hair etc?

Anyways back to the question, unfortunately the 9ja society has made it almost a man's responsibility(i wont go into feminine rights etc), but for me, i pay my bills, do all my things myself etc. my bf may decide to give me a treat or sometimes pay for something like my hair cos he really likes the hair (I have had to say no sometimes cos i dont like to feel like I am owned by a man) but i definitely don't see myself as his responsibility as I dont ask for things.

I guess i just live in the age of independent women,

190:



If shes Darkskinned == NO

any other one === YES

@ poster, partially

Nope but you should be able to assist each other reasonably.

Is your "girlfriend" your responsibility? No. She is NOT your wife. A relationship should be equal. Meaning a mutual giving and take on BOTH sides, not just your's. One-sided relationships is NOT healthy nor will last.

We don't have all the details of everything you are doing and "her past". But far as livedit is concerned. You are only responsible for yourself, personal obligations (work, child (if you have any), your bills etc.) It's nothing wrong in "helping" her because she is your girl friend. But is it your sole responsibility NOPE!

As one independent African American woman, when I was single, I didn't look to my "man" to take care of me. I looked to my Father God, My Creator, My Master.

Listen, any woman that is always talking gimmie gimmie is only out for your money. A real woman wouldn't allow herself to beg beg like that. Not even from her parents.

Nope, not until you put a damn ring on her finger, otherwise please dont mind these girls following men with their little shovels - digging for gold

iice:

In a way yes.
You have a responsibility to uphold whatever 'terms of relationship' bearing in mind the effect on one or both partners. Other than that. . .NO

Nooo

You should not assist a GF in any way financially. She is not your wife, You need to know if she is with you for the money or for real

Money is a binding glue in a relationship. Unfortunately, we choose to fool ourselves that love conquers all. Bro, if you love her and she asks you for money, give it to her. Whenever you think you can't continue, let her know. She IS your responsibility during the relationship.

Wow this has got to be the most over-flogged topic on NL, the title changes but the theme is always the same: is it my duty to support my gf financially?

I am not fond of over-dependent, lazy women who rely 100% on the hand-outs their bfs give them. I know chics who enjoy the way it feels to be able to spend their own money on what they want without waiting for "bros". However guys should not be tightfisted, if u have, give in to her (reasonable) demands, but let her know u'r not plucking it from trees!

Yeah! its ure job, as far as ure sure shes not using u,

But chicks nowadays eeeh,

I thank God no man can open this kind of thread cos of me

No it should not be but for me the only time you will be responsible for me is when you take me out because I aint paying nada not even one kobo

kandiikane. pls i will like us to chat maybe on facebook or yahoo sarch for me with my I.D ibigod@yahoo.com

I do know you but lets get to know each other on here first and we will see about facebook

kandiikane:

No it should not be but for me the only time you will be responsible for me is when you take me out because I aint paying nada not even one kobo

Thn you shouldnt be eating nada even one morsel

kandiikane:

No it should not be but for me the only time you will be responsible for me is when you take me out because I aint paying nada not even one kobo

See, a white woman would at least even make the effort to want to pay for her own.
It's not like I'd be taking a love-peddler out. I'd be asking a woman out who's supposed [/b]to be independent and her own person.

It is better to go with the mind to pay so the guy can then say "don't worry I got this" and pay the whole thing if he wants to than to go there and be staring at his face like a homelesss person when the bill for the dishes[b] you both ordered is put on the table.

It's like someone failed to teach these african girls the manners and ettiquette that are required of them in this new age of feminine independence.
Just out to take, take and take and yet feel confused when that promising guy never called again. Any sharp man worth is mettle can pick up gold digger traits on the first meeting with a girl. Y'all have no idea how many tests y'all fail on those first couple dates.

^^ You are spot on!!!

Responsibility ko, Resposifinity ni.

Na mi be ha papa?

slap1:

Money is a binding glue in a relationship. Unfortunately, we choose to fool ourselves that love conquers all. Bro, if you love her and she asks you for money, give it to her. Whenever you think you can't continue, let her know. She IS your responsibility during the relationship.

RE: Bro, if you love her and she asks you for money, give it to her. = WHILE SHE ALSO WORKS AND EARN MONEY?

RE: She IS your responsibility during the relationship. = THEN WHAT ABOUT WHEN SHE BECOMES THE WIFE?