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I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage - Romance - Nairaland

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I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by aameyah(f): 12:45pm On Apr 08, 2011
tongue

1 Like

Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by Babypinkyz(f): 12:48pm On Apr 08, 2011
How can u think of such. Though i dnt support d idea of forced marriage,i guess ur a muslim. Dnt give it out,u dnt knw wat d future hold. Let otherz comment
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by aameyah(f): 12:53pm On Apr 08, 2011
d post is for my friend. Tnx.
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by 190: 12:58pm On Apr 08, 2011
You need to knock sense into your parents head!! undecided
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by Babypinkyz(f): 12:59pm On Apr 08, 2011
190:

You need to knock sense into your parents head!! undecided
WORD
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by 190: 1:01pm On Apr 08, 2011
Babypinkyz:

WORD

Kiss me if you agree grin grin

1 Like

Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by Babypinkyz(f): 1:03pm On Apr 08, 2011
aameyah:

d post is for my friend. Tnx.
Say wha? Check wat u wrote. How cn dis be ur frnd. Jst say is u,no biggie
aameyah:

I always thought i would marry the one i love. I met this guy, really fine and goodnatured and we were good friends before we started dating. I rily love him, we r different religions tho.
I don't know if my people got a whiff of the relationship or if they are just acting out of our culture which focuses on early marriage, but a man (well known to us) came 2 ask for my hand and he was accepted. I cant defy their wishes, but i feel like i should allow my boyfriend whom I love deflower me before i get married. I dont kno d repercussions of this. I just want to be happy. I was thinking of going to my boyfriend's place for the weekend. I'm confused. I don't know if it is the right step to take.

Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by denzel2009: 1:04pm On Apr 08, 2011
190, how do you knock sense into your parents' heads these days?
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by Babypinkyz(f): 1:04pm On Apr 08, 2011
190:

Kiss me if you agree  grin  grin
U again. cool
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by Babypinkyz(f): 1:05pm On Apr 08, 2011
denzel2009:

190, how do you knock sense into your parents' heads these days?
lol. Wicked
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by 190: 1:06pm On Apr 08, 2011
denzel2009:

190, how do you knock sense into your parents' heads these days?
 shocked shocked shocked

Not my parents cos i cant

But she could knock sense into her parents head

either by running away or disowning herself and walking rite outta them  tongue

Im not sure dou
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by 190: 1:07pm On Apr 08, 2011
Babypinkyz:

U again. cool

yes me again!! angry angry
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by Odunnu: 1:11pm On Apr 08, 2011
Is it just your virginity you want to give your bf?
Can you endure the marriage with the other guy?
Have you tried to talk to your parents about your opinion?
Have you discussed this with your boyfriend?
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by denzel2009: 1:11pm On Apr 08, 2011
190:

 shocked shocked shocked

Not my parents cos i cant

But she could knock sense into her parents head

either by running away or disowning herself and walking rite outta them  tongue

Im not sure dou

thanks for clarifying. i thought you are loaded with the behavioural experience to carry out this task.

OP you need to exercise caution before taking some decisions
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by 190: 1:12pm On Apr 08, 2011
angry angry angry
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by jaybee3(m): 1:12pm On Apr 08, 2011
Only give your virginity up for the right reasons so you don't look back wishing you didn't
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by 3RNEST(m): 1:27pm On Apr 08, 2011
> Wat's Virginity, wen ur parent're not in support with ur relationship, despite the religion, ur parent need to be talk to, anyway OP ur virginity is in hand keep it or lose it as 4me, its nothinq, cuz one day u will surely lose it, so wats the stress!
> action: eatinq groundnut lookin at the OP eye2eye.
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by namfav(m): 1:35pm On Apr 08, 2011
aameyah:

I always thought i would marry the one i love. I met this guy, really fine and goodnatured and we were good friends before we started dating. I rily love him, we r different religions tho.
I don't know if my people got a whiff of the relationship or if they are just acting out of our culture which focuses on early marriage, but a man (well known to us) came 2 ask for my hand and he was accepted. I cant defy their wishes, but i feel like i should allow my boyfriend whom I love deflower me before i get married. I dont kno d repercussions of this. I just want to be happy. I was thinking of going to my boyfriend's place for the weekend. I'm confused. I don't know if it is the right step to take.

its best to go with what your parents say, and losing your virginity will not mean anything you are just lowering your worth, i don't think a boyfriend will know you more than your family just make the right decisions that your parents will be happy with as well
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by alagha: 1:46pm On Apr 08, 2011
make your parents know about your virginity and the risk involved.
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by aameyah(f): 2:22pm On Apr 08, 2011
small weekend bag packed.
, 2 be or not 2 be. What if i go through with it and i discova i cant let go of my boyfrnd?
I kno il lose it someday, but i do want to hav an experienc wit someone i lov.
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by jasman1: 2:26pm On Apr 08, 2011
I can tell from your posting that you're either not mature in both age and complex reasoning, at least you're smart enough to post this here. Dating and all that are very different from marriage. I have been married for almost 17ys and I'm speaking from experience. You'll be travelling on a very difficult road, one in which you're not even sure its a road if you married your so call boy friend. Married to someone with different religion and maybe culture, now that's what I'll call STARTING A JOURNEY NOT PREPARED. By the way, if your virginity's all you're bringing in this marriage then, you're not even ready for marriage.
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by namfav(m): 2:31pm On Apr 08, 2011
jas man:

I can tell from your posting that you're either not mature in both age and complex reasoning, at least you're smart enough to post this here. Dating and all that are very different from marriage. I have been married for almost 17ys and I'm speaking from experience. You'll be travelling on a very difficult road, one in which you're not even sure its a road if you married your so call boy friend. Married to someone with different religion and maybe culture, now that's what I'll call STARTING A JOURNEY NOT PREPARED. By the way, if your virginity's all you're bringing in this marriage then, you're not even ready for marriage.

you're wise, her 'boyfriend' will either give her aids or leave her pregnant and deny/run away, what she will bring is nothing but shame to her family, to be honest it's better to get pregnant from a marriage than from a hidden relationship whether its love or not, morally what is wrong and right should be differentiated

little girls
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by kodewrita(m): 2:35pm On Apr 08, 2011
On judgement day, you will be tested alone (Your parents will not be party to it).

At work, you are paid for what you do, not what your parents did.

In school, you got marks for what you wrote, not what daddy taught you at home.

So why allow your major life decisions to be made for you? You will be the one to experience whatever comes in that marriage not your dad or mum?

If you go along with the forced marriage, please dont blame your parents for ANYTHING.

You have tacitly agreed to it and IT IS ALWAYS YOUR DECISION.

Live Your Life.

C'est fini.

(My own 2kobo)

jas man:

I can tell from your posting that you're either not mature in both age and complex reasoning, at least you're smart enough to post this here. Dating and all that are very different from marriage. I have been married for almost 17ys and I'm speaking from experience. You'll be travelling on a very difficult road, one in which you're not even sure its a road if you married your so call boy friend. Married to someone with different religion and maybe culture, now that's what I'll call STARTING A JOURNEY NOT PREPARED. By the way, if your virginity's all you're bringing in this marriage then, you're not even ready for marriage.

So she should consign herself to a loveless marriage to satisfy her parents? 17 years should be enough to know that the marriage doesnt end with the wedding night, its just the beginning.

She will have to perpetually live with the fact that she didnt chose her husband. She will have to live with the fact that her parents raised her up and do not care about her enough to consider her wishes important. They are simply making a socially acceptable choice to satisfy themselves.


I dont know the specifics but I believe we are not indians and should have overgrown the culture of choosing spouses for our kids. Its stupid and misguided.

namfav:

you're wise, her 'boyfriend' will either give her aids or leave her pregnant and deny/run away, what she will bring is nothing but shame to her family, to be honest it's better to get pregnant from a marriage than from a hidden relationship whether its love or not, morally what is wrong and right should be differentiated

little girls
Since we only know what she has told us, you are not competent enough to make that assessment.

Who cares what she brings to her family, if they cared about her, they would have considered her wishes in the first place. They deserve anything they get. (Why would you give someone out BEHIND HER BACK? thats just wrong).
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by namfav(m): 2:39pm On Apr 08, 2011
kodewrita:


Since we only know what she has told us, you are not competent enough to make that assessment.

Who cares what she brings to her family, if they cared about her, they would have considered her wishes in the first place. They deserve anything they get. (Why would you give someone out BEHIND HER BACK? thats just wrong).

if she gets aids, or falls pregnant, the 'boyfriend' will not be there, that is the problem with alot of young nigerians who have not experienced life, worrying about o-rgsms before consequence, we are not developed so the governments cannot take care of unplanned pregnancies or hiv by telling someone to go ahead and enjoy is not smart because when she is hiv positive or pregnant you will not even be there just her family (if they have not disowned)
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by kodewrita(m): 2:53pm On Apr 08, 2011
You automatically assume the worst. There's no guarantee both ways.

My key issue is with the family's decision to give her out behind her back.

I know we all have different cultures but I just deeply resent that.
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by namfav(m): 2:58pm On Apr 08, 2011
kodewrita:

You automatically assume the worst. There's no guarantee both ways.

My key issue is with the family's decision to give her out behind her back.

I know we all have different cultures but I just deeply resent that.


arranged marriages are good for society that's what our ancestors did yars ago, anyway adultery here is being committed, as if its not worse than falling pregnant out of wedlock or getting an std, you're actually validating it and you don't know the age of these people, be ashamed of yourself
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by Shokoloko(f): 3:10pm On Apr 08, 2011
aameyah, do not give your virginity to your boyfriend, its not worth it. do you have a family relative you can run to for now, or can u ask for more time from your parents while you sort yourself out
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by DBestDoc(f): 4:46pm On Apr 08, 2011
My dear,My advice to u is to please HALT ur plans of going over to ur boyfriend's.Call ur mother and talk 2 her.tell her ure not ready for marriage yet,tell her u don't love d Man in question and u can't marry him.talk to her as daughter to mother, i believe she will understand u. U don't need to fight back ur parents wish by going over to ur boyfriend for him to deflower u, dat will b sheer foolishness.Talk 2 ur boyfriend 2.Perharps he may not be willing 2 fight 4 ur sake.But pleasse dont marry who u dnt LOVE n try and pray 4 God's direction
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by BABE3: 5:13pm On Apr 08, 2011
@OP pls don't do it! Don't lose your virginity yet! Plus you are kind of not making sense( I meant that in the most innocent way). Why? Because it's Evident that you're trying to act rebelious/revenge against your parents or whoever, but it's to your own detriment the end of the day. Come up with something else pls! Go to prayer city/ mountain of fire! smiley
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by Jackieugo(f): 5:15pm On Apr 08, 2011
Why not just decline the guy's proposal? undecided
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by kelvin22(m): 9:05pm On Apr 08, 2011
Losing your virginity to your bf is not the right decision and marrying someone you don't love is not good either. Try and have a one on one talk with your mum.

Explain to her why you can't marry at this time. If she doesn't reason with you, talk to some of your relatives.

Please don't make the mistake of losing your virginity to your boy friend or marrying someone you don't love.

Your virginity is your pride as a woman.
Re: I will Give Away My Virginity Before Going Into this Forced Marriage by Nobody: 10:02pm On Apr 08, 2011
namfav:

[b]arranged marriages are good for society that's what our ancestors did yars ago, [/b]anyway adultery here is being committed, as if its not worse than falling pregnant out of wedlock or getting an std, you're actually validating it and you don't know the age of these people, be ashamed of yourself

What is this

Where are you from?

, and what is it with the STD assumption? Do you knw the boyfriend personally?

@Op, losing your virginity for such a reason is silly, IMO, Its not a strategy at all

I assume you are educated and exposed enough, Why would you agree to be married off to someone against your wish

Please be in control of this situation and dont be forced into a loveless marriage


You will bear it(good or bad) alone, and not your parents.

Goodluck!

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