Hi Nairalanders!,

Please I need your help about my crush turned friend that is showing some attitude and I really do not know whether to let her be or keep on keeping on. I really love her even if she does not want to date me, I really love her even as a friend or in any capacity and I feel like she loves me too or maybe she used to and no longer does.

A year and some months ago I created a topic on Nairaland about a girl I loved and I loved her because I believed the loved me too and then she later said we were just friends. the topic is at https://www.nairaland.com/5610969/im-having-sleepless-night-she#85448747 Screenshots below if you do not want to click the link.

Couple of weeks after that post I was sick and admitted in the hospital so she kept on calling me and we kept talking. I shared my life with her even though we only talked on phone and I could not set my eyes on her ever again even till now as I type. She told me she likes me but cant date me and even told me she prefers me to the boys she was dating just that she has no options than to date them (kinda confusing but I just had to accept it like that). I scheduled bulk SMS to text her daily so she does not think I abandoned her or something. She would reply the messages and even pray that I get well. After I got well she was the only person in my head, damn...I called her and told her and that, she was happy that I was outta the hospital and a day later reminded me about lending me some 50k and that she borrowed the money from somebody and the person is now disturbing her and she has to pay up (I don't really recollect the details of when I collected the money from her but my diary confirmed that she gave me the money on the guise of a contract and when I asked her as at then she told me that she just gave me and I should just forget about it and not remind her about giving me the money again), well I sent her the money. It was after that that I noticed she is trying so hard to avoid coming in contact with me or take anything from me. I have tried using money to get some gift and even created a startup business for her and I also wanted her to be part of my company but just one thing or the other will stop it, she once said that I will use what I give her for reference purpose one day and that is why she is avoiding taking things from me (maybe shes more emotional than reasonable). In a bid to stop that one day I told her that we should build something but make sure we don't stop it half-way as usual but she took that very personal and I had to do a lot of begging before we started talking again. She also told me that since I started having money she has attempted to stop talking to me a lot of times in order to avoid a feeling of being attached or entitled (funny enough I can do anything for her because my mind tells me she deserves it). I have also attempted to see if I am the one having problems and psychologists told me that it is because I have given her a major part of my life and I am too simple for her and I don't take control of things with her is the reason for the whole issues. (I might not be able to give plenty details about the things I have done but I have tried to even get her to be a shareholder in my companies and arranged meeting with investors in Abuja instead of Lagos so she can be able to attend but we had issues again and she refused to attend, even after settling the issue I was willing to reschedule but she declined in an angry way).

All those things made me feel bad because I now have money and I never want my life to be without her whether as a friend or anything, she was just a savour to my life even though she is the person I have the most arguments and fights with and she would tell me to stop talking to her after any little argument and even run personality attacks on me sometimes but well I see the pain hidden in her pride and the remorse behind her attacks.

Three weeks ago I made a post about my friends and I mentioned that she is my phone friend that I have always wanted to get closer to and also made another post bout friends that stayed with me in the hospital. After that post I noticed that the way she was chatting me became cold. I had to ask her and then she said I should go and meet those people I said are my friends and I should leaver her alone. I had to text, text, text and text her but she only replied with "leave me alone, I don't want you in my life again", I posted on my status about how I was scared of loosing her and she texted me that I should remove her name from my status. I did remove it and texted her a good morning message the next day but she didn't reply. I waited till her birthday which was a week after and texted her a happy birthday at 12am dot Nigerian time even though is was in a different timezone. I asked her to make a wish and I will make it come true, I even suggested wishes she can make but all she replied with was ameen. I had to call her and tell her it might be the last time I would call her (i actually have an illness and I'm only living at its mercy presently). After I dropped the call she called me again but I couldn't respond. So I came back four days ago and texted her and explained to her about that post and asked her why she doesn't want me to be her friend again in clear terms she said "LEAVE ME ALONE, I SAID I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY LIFE AGAIN, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND". I had to change my tone like I have never done and told her that she is entitled to her opinion but nobody has told me that before but since she is saying that she should just give me reason and if I am okay with the reasons I will leave her alone (I said this because it was not the first time she would be telling me that and sometime in 2019 when the same thing happened she said that and she later told me she didn't mean it and it was because she has some issues with life and she went ahead to say sometimes when people ask you to leave is when they need you the most). So I insisted on hearing a reason from her then she said she feels like a lot of things are not right and she feels like everything about me is a lie, that shit got m confused because I never lie to people and even say the truth no matter what it might take. I later called her back and asked what she means then I realised she feels like my successes and issues I was going trough are all lies. I later called her back and asked her to tell me what she means then she said I should just forget about the lying thing, that she didn't say it was lies but she meant she is feeling like it is lies. I was about ending the call when I heard her say "since you started having money you have changed and you now feel like a boss that does everything right, I don't know the people making you feel that way". Well I just smiled and said "since you say you do not want me in your life, but me I really do want you in my life, in view of that call me whenever you want, I am here for you even if I don't call you again just call when you need me, I am only one call away". She just started saying that Joseph you feel too important, who told you someone will call you, you think you don't need people and people need you, it is because you are having money.

I asked my friends but all they seem to do is tell me that I don't have any fault, I should just leave her. I even fought my friend because of her today. She also tells me those friends love me because of what they are collecting and that I have a lot of bad characters (even though when I ask her she refuses to tell me but just insists I am not good). I also personally think I am good and try to become a better person daily.

BTW, this girl is the first girl that I ask to send account number and refuses

Please I need your advice on

1. Is it possible I am a bad person that thinks he is good because of the kind of people around him?
2. Is it that she used to be a friend but no longer one (because she used to celebrate my successes with me before, but now she will just tell me that I am only being successful because I am rich or because of a sponsor, or because of something)
3. Should I keep going after her? Maybe she is going through some issues and it is making her feel bad

Please I will appreciate all your replies.

PS: Sorry it is a long write-up, I really tried to make it this short.

No one cares bro

AlphaLover:
No one cares bro

sorry, I just edited the post

Premium tears loading...obviously look like she has a boyfrd somewhere and u are trying to force her to date u.D whole thing look so childish and immature.Op you be woman wrapper?

I can be your friend

The red flags are all over, leave this girl alone else it will end in premium tears. There are still better and submissive girls around. Don't come and go and kill yourself for one ungrateful idiot.

Angelacruz:
Premium tears loading...obviously look like she has a boyfrd somewhere and u are trying to force her to date u.D whole thing look so childish and immature.Op you be woman wrapper?

I wasn't forcing myself to date her, I categorically told her that we can be just friends now since she is uninterested even though that day she said. That boyfriend thing is another story, it seems it's her parents that chose boyfriends for her even if she is uninterested in the guys, I once helped her to ward of one guy that was about choosing marriage date with her dad. The funny thing is she refuses to remember those things... I am not interested in dating, only if she thinks that avoiding me is a preventive measure against falling in love with me(by the way she said it's haram to date a Christian) .. I don't even want to date now

meobizy:
Lol. When a man types plenty like this it means the end is coming. Give yourself freedom of mind by letting her go. You'll find other girls or enjoy your time alone. I didn't read the article. I may glance through it later.

Lols, I'm not heartbroken, just that I want to be there for her because she used to be there for me, I have plenty girls I can date and many if them visit me. I'm very happy with myself...

meobizy:
Lol. When a man types plenty like this it means the end is coming. Give yourself freedom of mind by letting her go. You'll find other girls or enjoy your time alone. I didn't read the article. I may glance through it later.

Lols, I'm not heartbroken, just that I want to be there for her because she used to be there for me, I have plenty girls I can date and many if them visit me. I'm very happy with myself... I feel like she's going through something she doesn't want to tell me and I wanna help her

I can only say d bth of u are confused.It kinda looks like a child 's play.No offence though

AkandeJoseph99:
I wasn't forcing myself to date her, I categorically told her that we can be just friends now since she is uninterested even though that day she said. That boyfriend thing is another story, it seems it's her parents that chose boyfriends for her even if she is uninterested in the guys, I once helped her to ward of one guy that was about choosing marriage date with her dad. The funny thing is she refuses to remember those things... I am not interested in dating, only if she thinks that avoiding me is a preventive measure against falling in love with me(by the way she said it's haram to date a Christian) .. I don't even want to date now

tit:
I can be your friend

Oh thanks you're an amazing person

Angelacruz:
I can only say d bth of u are confused.It kinda looks like a child 's play.No offence though

I'm really not confused, I don't wanna date her and I told her that again one day that she asked about why I'm nice and care about her. That day she told me about how she knows that she has been frustrating me and how she's not been helpful but I still cared for her, you need to see our chats. There was a time she did the same thing and came back to tell me that it's because I suddenly became much she ran away. I'm only bothered because I don't want to leave her when she probably needs me, she told about how nobody likes her and how people only stay with her for a few days before the friendship or relationships breaks to pieces and then she made me understand that all those times she misbehaves if we were dating I probably would've broken up with her and that is why she loves to keep me as a friend....i can remind her all this but referring to past events troubles her emotions

Ok oga

AkandeJoseph99:
I'm really not confused, I don't wanna date her and I told her that again one day that she asked about why I'm nice and care about her. That day she told me about how she knows that she has been frustrating me and how she's not been helpful but I still cared for her, you need to see our chats. I'm only bothered because I don't want to leave her when she probably needs me, she told about how nobody likes her and how people only stay with her for a few days before the friendship or relationships breaks to pieces and then she made me understand that all those times she misbehaves if we were dating I probably would've broken up with her and she loves to keep me as a friend

Angelacruz:
Watever rock ur boat...kip ur priority right.

thanks

ubola:
The red flags are all over, leave this girl alone else it will end in premium tears. There are still better and submissive girls around. Don't come and go and kill yourself for one ungrateful idiot.

Hmmm, this thing you said. Though she didn't let me meet up with her again after her service she was tired of sitting at home and I'm in Lagos, I had to pay for an e-commerce company to be started for her by my friend who is in Abuja because that's where she is, she abandoned the whole stuff and let the staff continue working without seeing them again simply because she said I employed my friend but chose to tell her to be doing her own work... And the reason why I can't employ her is because I know what she can do and don't wanna have issues with her

Oga if you want to live long avoid that girl, look for another girl

I don't think she's interested in you romantically. It may be time for you to accept that and move on.

AkandeJoseph99:
I wasn't forcing myself to date her, I categorically told her that we can be just friends now since she is uninterested even though that day she said. That boyfriend thing is another story, it seems it's her parents that chose boyfriends for her even if she is uninterested in the guys, I once helped her to ward of one guy that was about choosing marriage date with her dad. The funny thing is she refuses to remember those things... I am not interested in dating, only if she thinks that avoiding me is a preventive measure against falling in love with me(by the way she said it's haram to date a Christian) .. I don't even want to date now

Dont mind her, she is just jealous.

Does your life depend on her? Why are you forcing yourself on her.. Is it by force? Have some self esteem bro, I don't care what she has done for you in the past, this is the present, you deserve to be treated better.. Stop acting as if you can't do without her.

tit:
I can be your friend

u don hear money ur clit don stand

I no know why some people dey always wan attached themselves to people wey no need & value them

AkandeJoseph99:
Hi Nairalanders!,

Please I need your help about my crush turned friend that is showing some attitude and I really do not know whether to let her be or keep on keeping on. I really love her even if she does not want to date me, I really love her even as a friend or in any capacity and I feel like she loves me too or maybe she used to and no longer does.

A year and some months ago I created a topic on Nairaland about a girl I loved and I loved her because I believed the loved me too and then she later said we were just friends. the topic is at https://www.nairaland.com/5610969/im-having-sleepless-night-she#85448747 Screenshots below if you do not want to click the link.

Couple of weeks after that post I was sick and admitted in the hospital so she kept on calling me and we kept talking. I shared my life with her even though we only talked on phone and I could not set my eyes on her ever again even till now as I type. She told me she likes me but cant date me and even told me she prefers me to the boys she was dating just that she has no options than to date them (kinda confusing but I just had to accept it like that). I scheduled bulk SMS to text her daily so she does not think I abandoned her or something. She would reply the messages and even pray that I get well. After I got well she was the only person in my head, damn...I called her and told her and that, she was happy that I was outta the hospital and a day later reminded me about lending me some 50k and that she borrowed the money from somebody and the person is now disturbing her and she has to pay up (I don't really recollect the details of when I collected the money from her but my diary confirmed that she gave me the money on the guise of a contract and when I asked her as at then she told me that she just gave me and I should just forget about it and not remind her about giving me the money again), well I sent her the money. It was after that that I noticed she is trying so hard to avoid coming in contact with me or take anything from me. I have tried using money to get some gift and even created a startup business for her and I also wanted her to be part of my company but just one thing or the other will stop it, she once said that I will use what I give her for reference purpose one day and that is why she is avoiding taking things from me (maybe shes more emotional than reasonable). In a bid to stop that one day I told her that we should build something but make sure we don't stop it half-way as usual but she took that very personal and I had to do a lot of begging before we started talking again. She also told me that since I started having money she has attempted to stop talking to me a lot of times in order to avoid a feeling of being attached or entitled (funny enough I can do anything for her because my mind tells me she deserves it). I have also attempted to see if I am the one having problems and psychologists told me that it is because I have given her a major part of my life and I am too simple for her and I don't take control of things with her is the reason for the whole issues. (I might not be able to give plenty details about the things I have done but I have tried to even get her to be a shareholder in my companies and arranged meeting with investors in Abuja instead of Lagos so she can be able to attend but we had issues again and she refused to attend, even after settling the issue I was willing to reschedule but she declined in an angry way).

All those things made me feel bad because I now have money and I never want my life to be without her whether as a friend or anything, she was just a savour to my life even though she is the person I have the most arguments and fights with and she would tell me to stop talking to her after any little argument and even run personality attacks on me sometimes but well I see the pain hidden in her pride and the remorse behind her attacks.

Three weeks ago I made a post about my friends and I mentioned that she is my phone friend that I have always wanted to get closer to and also made another post bout friends that stayed with me in the hospital. After that post I noticed that the way she was chatting me became cold. I had to ask her and then she said I should go and meet those people I said are my friends and I should leaver her alone. I had to text, text, text and text her but she only replied with "leave me alone, I don't want you in my life again", I posted on my status about how I was scared of loosing her and she texted me that I should remove her name from my status. I did remove it and texted her a good morning message the next day but she didn't reply. I waited till her birthday which was a week after and texted her a happy birthday at 12am dot Nigerian time even though is was in a different timezone. I asked her to make a wish and I will make it come true, I even suggested wishes she can make but all she replied with was ameen. I had to call her and tell her it might be the last time I would call her (i actually have an illness and I'm only living at its mercy presently). After I dropped the call she called me again but I couldn't respond. So I came back four days ago and texted her and explained to her about that post and asked her why she doesn't want me to be her friend again in clear terms she said "LEAVE ME ALONE, I SAID I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY LIFE AGAIN, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND". I had to change my tone like I have never done and told her that she is entitled to her opinion but nobody has told me that before but since she is saying that she should just give me reason and if I am okay with the reasons I will leave her alone (I said this because it was not the first time she would be telling me that and sometime in 2019 when the same thing happened she said that and she later told me she didn't mean it and it was because she has some issues with life and she went ahead to say sometimes when people ask you to leave is when they need you the most). So I insisted on hearing a reason from her then she said she feels like a lot of things are not right and she feels like everything about me is a lie, that shit got m confused because I never lie to people and even say the truth no matter what it might take. I later called her back and asked what she means then I realised she feels like my successes and issues I was going trough are all lies. I later called her back and asked her to tell me what she means then she said I should just forget about the lying thing, that she didn't say it was lies but she meant she is feeling like it is lies. I was about ending the call when I heard her say "since you started having money you have changed and you now feel like a boss that does everything right, I don't know the people making you feel that way". Well I just smiled and said "since you say you do not want me in your life, but me I really do want you in my life, in view of that call me whenever you want, I am here for you even if I don't call you again just call when you need me, I am only one call away". She just started saying that Joseph you feel too important, who told you someone will call you, you think you don't need people and people need you, it is because you are having money.

I asked my friends but all they seem to do is tell me that I don't have any fault, I should just leave her. I even fought my friend because of her today. She also tells me those friends love me because of what they are collecting and that I have a lot of bad characters (even though when I ask her she refuses to tell me but just insists I am not good). I also personally think I am good and try to become a better person daily.

BTW, this girl is the first girl that I ask to send account number and refuses

Please I need your advice on

1. Is it possible I am a bad person that thinks he is good because of the kind of people around him?
2. Is it that she used to be a friend but no longer one (because she used to celebrate my successes with me before, but now she will just tell me that I am only being successful because I am rich or because of a sponsor, or because of something)
3. Should I keep going after her? Maybe she is going through some issues and it is making her feel bad

Please I will appreciate all your replies.

PS: Sorry it is a long write-up, I really tried to make it this short.

It's a shame we still have men begging to be love in this age. You want to go into slavery all in the name of relationship

AkandeJoseph99:
Lols, I'm not heartbroken, just that I want to be there for her because she used to be there for me, I have plenty girls I can date and many if them visit me. I'm very happy with myself... I feel like she's going through something she doesn't want to tell me and I wanna help her

This ur statement is looking like u want to force the help. You want to b there for her and from ur epistle above I can say u've bin there more than once, what else?

She's ur crush, u love her, she said she can't date u, you settled for friendship. My brother u're still in love even tho u want to form hard guy here, truth is u've given a part of urself to her that even u can't see urself going a whole week without bin in contact with her, u must find a way.

All this energy on top her channel it somewhere else. Leave her.

Let me help her shout it sef so u will hear word
LEAVE ME ALONE, I SAID I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY LIFE AGAIN, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND"

Op, my one sentence advice is that YOU LEAVE HER ALONE. Relationship is not by force but by choice.

Don't let her make a fool of you.

All these are happening and you're still forcing yourself on her. What kind of man are you sef

Don't tell me it's love oh

This post is just unnecessarily long,

but I I feel like someone hasn't established the terms of friendship,because that someone is trying too had.

I always say,you can't make old friends,you could only make new one's.

Have pride in yourself, she say she no do again,let her be bro.

(Unrelated to these) how can I make money with you bro.

All this long epistle na for wetin na op?.... Grow some balls and stop being a simp,take the Redpill and watch that gal cum begging on her knees

Fvck dis bich bro shes not good 4 your health .you go only kill yourself with bp
Why are you do attached to her sef?abi she do you kayamata? Kilode

Bro share your money making format ee let's smile to the bank together

*Increase the volume of my speakers playing truth be told by toosii 2x

By the way senior brah mosdii go say weti? Talk comout I nor dey hear you well!,you say weti?!
Nigeria girls are ?!!

Bros run cos u said in one of your reply 'where she said it haram to date a christain' haram means forbiding just like BOKO HARAM which means book is forbiding

Seriously, I'm scared of your SIMPness. No offense please