Plan and have an exact amount you want to spend for the own month, change the DSTV for GOTV (subscription is low), work on things that expenses can be cut on, all the best

Especially on the guys, Oga na God oh. it's not been easy

Zanxx:
My dear, it's not easy ooo. Sometimes I feel like running away. My case is worse because I live with them. I am so frustrated that for over a week now I have been giving them attitude, I don't talk to any of them. I just drop money for food and any other thing that needs to be paid, then off I go. The rent is almost due and they are all waiting for me to conjure the money from the sky.smh. The burden is just too much

My dear i feel ur pain cos am there too, but i ask myself, is there anything i can do for my parents that is too enough to appreciate them while they are still alive?? Some spend so much running into millions for their parents burial when they are dead, but cant cater for them while they are alive,cos they will say him or she owns them nothing, but when is time for burial u will see them spending so much.
My dear dont be feel depressed, finitely they are seeing wat u are doing, they are praying for u, they are crying for u for blessings, keep doing wat u doing for ur parents.

Yusufisraelj:


This one way to go



My brother, na you day do yourself.


You see I've been in this shoe and I can tell you with all sense of responsibility that if today you leave this Earth (God forbid) your parents, siblings and friends will survive 100% without you, I can tell you this for free, you shouldn't attend to every books dropped at request, sending your siblings airtime, What! You must be joker sincerely.

Your approach is making your circle very weak, complacent and entitled.

To circumvent this, you will have to create systems that generate money for your parents since they are old, equally you may want to encourage them to find avenues they could raise money for themselves within the capacity of strength they can muster, without overstressing to themselves, either open a small shop, or a biker to remit funds to them every week or something, just think, you understand your family better than I do.

Secondly you sister must develop herself to become a person with valuable skills she can exchange for money, maybe a hair dresser, tailor, a writer, sells cloth or something, there are businesses she could start with as low as 20K and make good profits to take care of her immediate needs like airtime, pad, transportation to school etc


You keep employing this approach of a miracle worker for every single need within your circle, you will soon become an angry man. Haba

The way it works for me is that I attend to cogent needs that could stress my parents especially when it has to do with heavy payments with short deadlines (school fees and rent), I can't imagine my brother or sister in University expecting me to recharge their phone! I have ensured they develop themselves to become people of value, who can exchange that skill for money.

Correct teacher.........
I know a stingy guy... he is doing very well,because guy no see you,and him no send you.

HappyNigerian:
It’s the beginning of a new year and that means new bills and more responsibilities and thinking back at last year just gives me some sort of joy at how I have planned this year for my bills.

My family lives in Ibadan and I live in Lagos and I must confess that it is such a struggle to pay their bills while working in Lagos here. I am the first child so I have to send my family money every month, and my siblings every week.

My family DSTV bill is also something I have to do monthly while I also ensure that all my siblings get airtime on their phone every week. It is such a traumatic experience when I remember that as I am planning all this small small money that when you calculate it, it becomes big money, I have to also plan bank charges inside of it as well.
I moved out of the house at a point to make ends meet as the first son of the family especially as my parents are getting old and I’m their only source of livelihood as it is right now, some people say you do not owe your parents anything but well, I do not believe in this and I take care of my parents and see it as my duty and what I owe to them to do.

Schools have resumed, Nishola, my sister needs to go back and would need fees and other miscellaneous expenses. Femi my brother is preparing for his WAEC to enable him get into the university. My parents of course have medical bills to be sorted as well every month.

When I calculate this in total every month including bank charges, it is over 100,000 monthly that I spend last year not until this January when someone mentioned how PalmPay gives people rewards when they do transactions. At first, and as usual, I did not believe it but that is not the point of the thread.

The point of writing this thread is really to ask, how do African Children deal with the numerous bills that they have to pay for the family and friends?

Sir, please adopt me as a brother . So i can be flexing free weekly airtime and pocket money.

My parents stopped giving us money for airtime and pocket money when we graduated from uni. So everybody dey fend for himself and its good to me cos too much dependence on someone else made some of us lazy.

To him much is given much is also expected... He didn't feed or school himself to that level...

This question is asked by people who Is looking to run away from responsibility.

alexola20:
What I can tell you,Las las some of this peo people will still call you stingy,irresponsible,selfish and to top it all,they will say "what have you done that another person hasn't done before".
And be wary,they might even go diabolical with you.Dem go still winch you Las las.

Talking from a bitter experience with family.


I have cut every single member of my family completely off.No contact no communication.
After I made so much money and mismanaged/embezzled by dear mama and still want my head on the plate.

Oga if you don't stop now,na tears dey mostly end this arrangement.
And if you have a woman,it will be worse.

U said ur mother want to kill u?? Oga the vision or prophecy they told u is not true

HappyNigerian:
how do African Children deal with the numerous bills that they have to pay for the family and friends?

You have to put yourself on top of the list first, that includes your health.

Then, wife and kids if you have.

Then, your parents basic needs. And if possible, little investment for them. They could be selling bulbs, padlocks and all those small household items in front of the house. There is a lot of profit in it.

Then, follow by more savings and investments for yourself, for your future and that of your nuclear family.

Lastly, the little things you can do for your siblings and other family members. It shouldn't be on top of your to-do list at all.

Antoeni:
ON TOP ONE MAN HEAD:

1. NEPA don bring bill
2. Buy bread when u are coming
3. Buy Egg when u are coming
4. Gas don finish
5. Kerosine don finish
6a. Generator no gree start
6b. Buy fuel for generator when u are coming
7. Car don get flat tyre, e no gree start
8. School fees don show
9. DStv/GOtv etc don stop to dey show
10. Dem come ask for vigilante money
11. Month don end for Lesson teacher
12. Biscuit and Happy Hour nko?
13. Dem go begin report the children to u as u dey enter
14. If u never build, Landlord matter na madding
15. Dem go still shook hand for ur pocket pack d small change join..
16. Tell u d pikin dey run temperature like say u be doctor...
17a. Buy them credit
17b. Buy them data
18. Not excluding Suya, Cat fish etc on some nights
19. Fridge, pressing iron, fan etc. go stop, another headache..
20. Dem still wan go amusement park on public holidays
21. How much be the salary sef..

I come go hospital for fever, doctor say I get High BP.

How man no go get High BP..

And

On top all, you must not disappoint in the inner room.. dem go still give you orders,

*"HONEY HARDER"*

Please, let's take it easy......our lives matters.
With or without us, life will continue.

E no dey easy sha,
GOD Blessings be with all us

Funny man,you need to invest in your wife to share the burden of expenses.

Just focus on your old parents as for the rest get a piece of land and start building project with this you have excuses when ever they ask for money. Just tell them u are working on your site. They will survive definitely but seeing that u aren't really doing anything with money and you deny them, you will be object of mockery should any of them make it in life. Though, you can support them with school fees.

Yxxx:


What a response?
Very very unthoughtful.
Will marriage save the situation?

this one is just too serious in his life...shift

Zanxx:
My dear, it's not easy ooo. Sometimes I feel like running away. My case is worse because I live with them. I am so frustrated that for over a week now I have been giving them attitude, I don't talk to any of them. I just drop money for food and any other thing that needs to be paid, then off I go. The rent is almost due and they are all waiting for me to conjure the money from the sky.smh. The burden is just too much

Sorry my sister, the thing can be frustrating... No kill yourself, do those you can and leave the rest.
May God open bigger ways for you.

Zanxx:



I swear. What pisses me off the most is that by 3:30am I am up and getting ready for work while they sleep. I get home in the evening to find them so relaxed watching TV. Last month, I told them to get their acts together because I am not the only one living in that house. I love my family but honestly I can't continue like this

Hmmmm this sounds like too much burden on you already

babzlim:
To him much is given much is also expected... He didn't feed or school himself to that level...

This question is asked by people who Is looking to run away from responsibility.

How can you be so sure? You would be surprised to know what many people passed through before getting to where they are today!
It is not about running away from responsibility, it is about prioritising one's responsibility with the little income you have. You've got to prioritise when you don't have enough or excess money to go round unless you want to be down with stroke or something

SIRRITE:


My dear i feel ur pain cos am there too, but i ask myself, is there anything i can do for my parents that is too enough to appreciate them while they are still alive?? Some spend so much running into millions for their parents burial when they are dead, but cant cater for them while they are alive,cos they will say him or she owns them nothing, but when is time for burial u will see them spending so much.
My dear dont be feel depressed, finitely they are seeing wat u are doing, they are praying for u, they are crying for u for blessings, keep doing wat u doing for ur parents.

You think its easy abi,from what that girl said up there its obvious she's going thru alot at her age ,dont forget she has her own life to plan

alizma:

May God bless you more. However I think the best thing at time is to give them a little gap to avoid them noticing those period when you look sad because of the too much pressure. Because you maybe surprised in the future that of all the good things you think you have been doing, one or two of your siblings may forget when things get better for them but only remember few ugly things or attitude that you put up on the days the pressure is much on you. Even your parents can forget if one of your siblings becomes billionaire tomorrow and they start seeing the sacrifice of 100k today like peanut (5naira).

Thank you

vecman22:



Hmmmm this sounds like too much burden on you already

It is. I am constantly checking my Bp because I keep getting palpitations

Offpoint1:

Sorry my sister, the thing can be frustrating... No kill yourself, do those you can and leave the rest.
May God open bigger ways for you.

Amen and thank you

Antoeni:
ON TOP ONE MAN HEAD:

1. NEPA don bring bill
2. Buy bread when u are coming
3. Buy Egg when u are coming
4. Gas don finish
5. Kerosine don finish
6a. Generator no gree start
6b. Buy fuel for generator when u are coming
7. Car don get flat tyre, e no gree start
8. School fees don show
9. DStv/GOtv etc don stop to dey show
10. Dem come ask for vigilante money
11. Month don end for Lesson teacher
12. Biscuit and Happy Hour nko?
13. Dem go begin report the children to u as u dey enter
14. If u never build, Landlord matter na madding
15. Dem go still shook hand for ur pocket pack d small change join..
16. Tell u d pikin dey run temperature like say u be doctor...
17a. Buy them credit
17b. Buy them data
18. Not excluding Suya, Cat fish etc on some nights
19. Fridge, pressing iron, fan etc. go stop, another headache..
20. Dem still wan go amusement park on public holidays
21. How much be the salary sef..

I come go hospital for fever, doctor say I get High BP.

How man no go get High BP..

And

On top all, you must not disappoint in the inner room.. dem go still give you orders,

*"HONEY HARDER"*

Please, let's take it easy......our lives matters.
With or without us, life will continue.

E no dey easy sha,
GOD Blessings be with all us

Na diz kind plenty wahala make men dey naturally kpai first before women.... Widows full everywhere.

If they call you stingy then stop sending money. Only send to your parents. Put your parents on monthly salary. If they can’t use the salary to pay their bills then it means they living above their means....if your younger ones call you stingy, immediately stop sending them money...you wasting money buying airtime every week for them.

HappyNigerian:

My brother, I don use that strategy but dem call me stingy

SIRRITE:


My dear i feel ur pain cos am there too, but i ask myself, is there anything i can do for my parents that is too enough to appreciate them while they are still alive?? Some spend so much running into millions for their parents burial when they are dead, but cant cater for them while they are alive,cos they will say him or she owns them nothing, but when is time for burial u will see them spending so much.
My dear dont be feel depressed, finitely they are seeing wat u are doing, they are praying for u, they are crying for u for blessings, keep doing wat u doing for ur parents.

Medaase (thank you)

Well, I can take care of virtually everything my parents need and will do so gladly. Though they actually don't need anything form me financially..I just do it as courtesy.


But u see my brothers & sisters ehn.......there is nothing like recharge card money. if am in good mood I give something for the month. besides, they use my stuff without asking most of d time anyways

authority2006:


You can start making a change by moving out first.

Anytime I talk about moving out, the emotional blackmail starts. You will be surprised by the number of people who call to talk me out of it.

HappyNigerian:

Living with them can be terrible

.... It's ain't easy at all when you are the head of the house, and no one is there to be of help. I will suggest if we want to leave this circle, have multiple stream of income. I am a living testimony and sometime it pissed me off whenever I received a call especially when it involved sorting out some bills, I have multiple investment running in some legit investment company, so whatever I get from there monthly, I use it to settle some of the bills... If you care to learn more about what you can do, don't hesitate to comment below.

Advert for palm pay and you lifted everything#aishafromcarbon sent out yesterday . I hope carbon sues you guys. Bills ko billing ni

Culture is in every way different. Family is our heritage in Africa. If Africa lose that there'll be nothing left. Take care of the bills if you can, someone paid yours before you're grown.

Black Tax.

IMASTEX:

May you keep feeding the right help and energy to keep up. Truly it could be very frustrating having to house so much responsibilities from friends & families. Most of whom always have a strong believe that you have money and you can't be broke even when they keep placing demands. This is why the rich always create a rich circle of friends & lock themselves away from the poor. The Africa system is wired for suffering.

It's very frustrating, my dear. Sometimes I just don't feel like going back home after I close from work.

If you are the grown first son of the first son of a large extended family, then you'd have extended family members reaching out to you, not just for money but advice, and resolving issues and more. Subconsciously, these things get imprinted on our minds growing up that you are the family heir so it even affects our dating lives.

Unlike others, we can't just screw, date or, worse, marry just about any girl because the girl has to have certain qualities, including being accommodating and motherly, and knowing she'd have to be a queen mother in a kingdom of some sorts. She has to be very cultured and while the nuclear family comes first, she doesn't alienate the rest of the family from getting access to you, and it's not necessarily money. She'd be highly respected though and everyone is interested in who becomes your wife.

One of the many reasons I've never been wild, or done drugs, gotten drunk or ever dated wild girls or have been with fewer girls than most males my age and exposure - I've always thought of the long term. Interestingly, it all feels normal to me.

How man go do na , those are your people

The ones am able to reach out to I reach.
The ones I couldn't reach out to at that time has to excersice patient cos man no go kill himself ooo.

The problem is our parents don't plan for old age.
We have that sense of entitlement that our children must take care of us.

We that are complaining are making the same mistakes.

donbachi:
I no owe dem anything..na help i wan help.

una dey hear mumu talk?