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Stats: 2,777,377 members, 6,617,449 topics. Date: Sunday, 05 December 2021 at 12:22 PM
|How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by ASUNDER: 3:54pm On Mar 07|
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.
He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.
I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.
Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by ednut1(m): 4:04pm On Mar 07|
Best to move back. Marriage gets scary every day. Nawa
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Keshinr0: 4:14pm On Mar 07|
Am against him coming back
You guys should give him support, help him get his life back.
Tell him to forget about his kids, for now, when they are old enough they will be with him him
471 Likes 26 Shares
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by 1beat(m): 4:21pm On Mar 07|
Please remind him to do DNA test when the whole issue come down
He should go for counselling to avoid taking wrong steps and he should not consider coming to Nigeria is just like going back to that same marriage
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by cefezyA: 5:02pm On Mar 07|
let him no go back nigeria oooh if he do he will die premature drunking will be his own what will he be enjoying here self if he go carry ashawo nija that small money una go give him go finish one week then no wife will be on his side nor child his sadness then will be pro ! abeg make him dey there manup clean eyes find another work take care of himself maybe get another wife after all big boys don't cry
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Oracleforce: 6:16pm On Mar 07|
Tell him to relocate to a better country...and eke his living....when the time comes the children will look for their daddy. Because if he continues this way, he might die prematurely....and that will make his wife happy...
So, let him move away, and keep track of his children...life is too short....he shouldn't spend it on bemoaning runaway wife...
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by HRprof: 7:05pm On Mar 07|
This matter strong
That is to say British law protect woman, if its here in Nigeria is the other way round. My advise is that Nigeria men should learn how to protect their wife either in Nigeria or abroad to aviod this scenarios.
Anyway lets people who stay in UK give the guy better advice because for we in Nigeria will not give him better advise as Nigeria is lawless even in marriage issue as People do anyhow and get away with it.
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Tats(m): 7:37pm On Mar 07|
There is really not much he can do about it. The law favours the woman especially if they have kids. My white neighbour and his wife who are a relatively young couple have two children and when they had marital disagreement, he was the one that had to move out of the house. Luckily for him, his parents do not live far away so he moved to their house. He has a job so can at least fend for himself. Many Nigerian men are in the same boat as this man and are really struggling and that's why there are so many single and divorced older men here. He may even be the one still paying for the mortgage in the house that he is not living in and the lady could bring another man to the house to stay. He should focus on himself, but if he doesn't have a good job, then his life will be one of continuous struggle as he will not be able to get a new mortgage and will be living from hand to mouth or will be depending on the Government for pittance. To be honest, it is a difficult decision but if he thinks there is really no hope, maybe he should return to Nigeria and try to make something out for himself. His children will look for him when they are older. If he remains here he would need to work really hard to turnaround his situation.
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Tats(m): 7:41pm On Mar 07|
Unfortunately, he cannot relocate to another country apart from Nigeria except he is a citizen there. Relocation is not an easy thing as you would have to start from scratch and you will not have any credit record and that is not easy. Anything you want to apply for, they will do a credit check and if you are new and don't have a record, they are likely to deny you.
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by babythug(f): 8:40pm On Mar 07|
Divorce is an unfortunate situation to be in. Nonetheless it’s not the end of the world . Both himself and his former wife are to blame . He should brace up and try the following:
1. Dust himself and be ready to start over .
2. Face his career or job
3. Determine to be at peace with his ex no matter the level of provocation or otherwise
4. Be the best father he can be to his children given the circumstances. Pay whatever bills as deemed necessary and pay extra where possible
5. He should document any payment made
6. He must not bring the kids into the divorce by relaying what their mum has done or not done to them
21 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Lexusgs430: 11:08pm On Mar 07|
He fell for a massive trap....... He needs to snap out of his current predicament.......
He needs to seek proper/good legal advice (not street advice).....
What God has joined together, divorce can put it Asunder.........
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by eduson33(m): 4:13am On Mar 08|
If your friend is truly innocent then here is my 2 cent.
Divorce can be messy and mostly favors the woman.
FOR ME I'D SAY,HE SHOULD FIND A WAY TO MAKE PEACE...THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM.
That being said;
1. He needs to get something doing. Even tho its very tough right now, he can find some part time job to keep him afloat.(Tell him to search for property management companies(concierge and security) they only need your cv and your availability to start booking you in for jobs or he can apply for public fund.
Even tho his current visa says''no recourse to public funds,he can still access public funds but it will only restart the clock for him and extend the length of time before he can Naturalize or receive ILR. He can also be provided with a lawyer if he cant afford one(Even tho those ones are not the best). Some legal firms will be happy to take on the case and charge him later if successful(depending on his argument)..He should start gathering proofs and evidences that will help his case.
if they have been married for over 3 years and he has lived in the UK for at least one year, he is entitled to apply for ''RIGHT TO REMAIN'' Which means he will be issued a 5 years visa to remain in the UK after the divorce,provided that the application is successful.
If the court grants him access to the kids, he can also apply to remain in the country based on the kids.
Tell him to actively pursue peace..katakata is never a solution..
39 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Lexusgs430: 10:29am On Mar 08|
Are we reading the same story?......
Did I miss the no recourse to public funds part?.....
The state would not pay for any divorce proceedings, even if he was allowed to claim state funds..........
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Hiploko(m): 12:20pm On Mar 08|
You wan come back.
We wey dey here dey die to move out
Life dey confusing at times
10 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Iykon177: 12:20pm On Mar 08|
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by dannywest: 12:21pm On Mar 08|
Filing mine in Nigeria.
Luckily no kids and no contest so not as messy.
Western law is strongly biased against men and men really go through so much in the hands of some women but are never believed.
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Sonnobax15(m): 12:21pm On Mar 08|
After reading this story,I don decide say na to manage our Nigerian women no matter how useless they are nai sure pass..
Honestly,the kind of divorce stories we hear about the west will make you wonder if marriage was really meant for both man and woman or for women alone..
A time will come when women from the west will end up marrying themselves because there won't be any man who'd wanna be a victim of their manipulation....
Na dat time e go be like "Africa na blessing in disguise for us wey be the no nonsense men
48 Likes 4 Shares
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by shegun4sur: 12:22pm On Mar 08|
People like suffering themselves for nothing.
I don't know how old he is but I don't care. Let him do the following
Find another level headed lady and flex, if the union produces children fine and good.
Get divorced from the jezebel and forget about her.
Find a job and live his godam life in peace.
But sha he can kill himself with heart attack if he so wishes by continuing to claim family family.
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by optimusprime2(m): 12:22pm On Mar 08|
Well what else can I say??
"The future is indeed female "
Happy Women's day
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by incogni2o: 12:23pm On Mar 08|
Lesson for Nigerian Men trying to travel out with Family.
Please make sure you know your Wife 100%
Whites are more Individualistic.
Try to be the worst Man you can be for a while and see Her worst Character.
I appreciate Women being independent too, But with reason knowing there Husband is thier Head Anyday, Anytime.
I don't beleive in Men being oppressive but that the Wife should Know she has to be under her Husband.
We have a lot of ways to vent our frustrations here in Naija, but over there, no much way, Hence the many cases of Mental Issues and Depression.
Naija Man, Please be Wise.
One sure thing, If you can Make it abroad, You'll make it in Naija. Life is not easy anywhere, The Devil has no restricted zone on Earth.
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by LesbianBoy(m): 12:23pm On Mar 08|
When will warn you guys to be careful of women and don't be deceived by their pretty faces or innocent looks (that is for those that has it o) una no go hear.
Una go accuse person of being pained or a woman hater now look at.
Your friend should enjoy all his wife is giving him jare and stop disturbing us
18 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by LesbianBoy(m): 12:23pm On Mar 08|
Meanwhile that you friend must be a 'real man'.
Na dem dey suffer pass for woman hand
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by AsawanaDgreat: 12:24pm On Mar 08|
Come join us for Naija do farm abegi
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by MansoryMX(m): 12:25pm On Mar 08|
As a man If you get married outside Nigeria, know your boundaries with your wife, always make sure your name is not written in your wife’s book of death or else if y’all go through divorce path, you are definitely losing everything. If I were you, I will advice my friend to make peace with his wife, tolerate her and get back everything, plan on how to leave her with the kids back to Naija afterwards. Same thing happened to my wife’s elder brother in the UK but he was smart enough to outsmart the wife, sold off everything they have secretly and liquidated the money into bitcoin, did travel papers secretly and before she returned back from work one day, house is emptied and her husband already back in Naija with their two kids. The woman has refused to come back yet to Naija despite her own family plea fo her to come and face family meeting.
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|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by R1CHSATAN: 12:26pm On Mar 08|
and he cant assassinate her and go to jail
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by gambia(m): 12:26pm On Mar 08|
Vagina people at it again.
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Fiscus105(m): 12:27pm On Mar 08|
People should stop disturbing public about marriage palavers, marriage is a game and also a black market, one needs to play the game according to his rules, as a black market, one has to be extra vigilant when you are in it.
Wen two couple are flirting, romancing, sexing, spending, how many people they involved then?
19 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by TundeChris: 12:27pm On Mar 08|
He should not move back. Encourage him to stay back, fight what he can fight and rebuild his life. You cannot give up your life because of some woman. Rebuild and bounce back, it will all be a story in a few years.
I have an uncle who got divorced years back. The woman collected his houses in the uk successfully, he literally lost everything. That was many years back, today he is successful again, even though single, he owns businesses in the UK and in Nigeria.
Plus I think EVERY man must have a backup plan, for real. A solid one.
DONT GIVE UP!!!!!
33 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Kapeter(m): 12:27pm On Mar 08|
ednut1:Best to move back? Move back to where?
|Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Michelle55: 12:28pm On Mar 08|
How do people who vows to take the forever steps together suddenly turns against each other overnight? Just how?
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