I will make this as brief as possible. I left Nigeria to the UK around may last year and I have fully settled in the country and was looking for someone to settle down with, I didn’t want a foreign girl, so I looked for Nigerians only, the ones I kept meeting here were either engaged with someone back in Nigeria, had serious relationships with someone else or married. So I decided to look back home. A friend of mine introduced me to a beautiful lady who lived and worked in Abuja, she appeared to be doing well for self and was courteous as well. So we started speaking and everything clicked, she wasn’t boring at all and could keep a convo going for hours. We started dating and things were going fine until I noticed something which appears to be a red flag, but I keep doubting if am been too hasty in reaching a conclusion. Just a week after we started dating, she started complaining that she was really broke, that she was kind struggling. In my mind I felt it was too soon for this to come up but I nevertheless sent her 60k to help out. Less than two weeks later, she sent me a letter from her work place that stated that her salary would be delayed for that month . She started complaining of how she was in dire straits and wouldn’t be able to survive till then. I sha played along and told her that where I worked they even delayed my own by a whole month. I can take care of a lady I like no problems, but this incessant asking, is it not too soon in this relationship? This is someone am already thinking of settling down with. If with a six figure salary she can’t manage herself, is this not a bad sign?

This is a big Red Flag.
She wants to turn you to Maga.

Definitely.

Mnnh...

Lol,, I'm a lady, the truth is she is playing u, a girl � that truly loves u will not be billing anyhow.. Shes just using mayb because she think u need a serious relationship..I ll advice u dont rush anything

Which six figure salary? Trust no one until you are really sure. Moreover she is already seeing you and using you as her mugu. My Naija sisters should stop seeing men as their atm machine. Be a sure girl, get a job or learn a skill, do everything you can to be productive. If he takes you out this week and foots the bill, the following week, take him out and foot the bill as well. Try and return every favour he shows you and don't be a pain the neck. Depending solely on a man for everything dey send man to early grave. Shikena

She may even have someone down here but just trying to use you to satisfy her financial need.

Martinelli35:
I will make this as brief as possible. I left Nigeria to the UK around may last year and I have fully settled in the country and was looking for someone to settle down with, I didn’t want a foreign girl, so I looked for Nigerians only, the ones I kept meeting here were either engaged with someone back in Nigeria, had serious relationships with someone else or married. So I decided to look back home. A friend of mine introduced me to a beautiful lady who lived and worked in Abuja, she appeared to be doing well for self and was courteous as well. So we started speaking and everything clicked, she wasn’t boring at all and could keep a convo going for hours. We started dating and things were going fine until I noticed something which appears to be a red flag, but I keep doubting if am been too hasty in reaching a conclusion. Just a week after we started dating, she started complaining that she was really broke, that she was kind struggling. In my mind I felt it was too soon for this to come up but I nevertheless sent her 60k to help out. Less than two weeks later, she sent me a letter from her work place that stated that her salary would be delayed for that month . She started complaining of how she was in dire straits and wouldn’t be able to survive till then. I sha played along and told her that where I worked they even delayed my own by a whole month. I can take care of a lady I like no problems, but this incessant asking, is it not too soon in this relationship? This is someone am already thinking of settling down with. If with a six figure salary she can’t manage herself, is this not a bad sign?

Oga na you dey stress urself. hold on to a white chick, have peace of mind if ur not cheating, get urself beautiful kids and you both stay happy cuz you'd be giving her the time a white husband wouldn't

Ion understand why you niggas like wasting away on 9ja girls. pukes

Froshloaded:
This is a big Red Flag.
She wants to turn you to Maga.

"She wants to" or she has already, and in a week too!

Martinelli35:
We started dating and things were going fine until I noticed something which appears to be a red flag, but I keep doubting if am been too hasty in reaching a conclusion. Just a week after we started dating, .. I nevertheless sent her 60k to help out.

Damn! She good or you too fool.

You see what impatience is going to cost this girl.. I don't know why girls still don't realize that hastily asking for from guys is a total turn off except for a simp.

Martinelli35:
I will make this as brief as possible. I left Nigeria to the UK around may last year and I have fully settled in the country and was looking for someone to settle down with, I didn’t want a foreign girl, so I looked for Nigerians only, the ones I kept meeting here were either engaged with someone back in Nigeria, had serious relationships with someone else or married. So I decided to look back home. A friend of mine introduced me to a beautiful lady who lived and worked in Abuja, she appeared to be doing well for self and was courteous as well. So we started speaking and everything clicked, she wasn’t boring at all and could keep a convo going for hours. We started dating and things were going fine until I noticed something which appears to be a red flag, but I keep doubting if am been too hasty in reaching a conclusion. Just a week after we started dating, she started complaining that she was really broke, that she was kind struggling. In my mind I felt it was too soon for this to come up but I nevertheless sent her 60k to help out. Less than two weeks later, she sent me a letter from her work place that stated that her salary would be delayed for that month . She started complaining of how she was in dire straits and wouldn’t be able to survive till then. I sha played along and told her that where I worked they even delayed my own by a whole month. I can take care of a lady I like no problems, but this incessant asking, is it not too soon in this relationship? This is someone am already thinking of settling down with. If with a six figure salary she can’t manage herself, is this not a bad sign?

The first ask was hasty depending on how long you guys were in this period of hour long conversations. If you were going on like that for a month or two then a week into something official is not that hasty but if you’d only known her a couple weeks then it’s a fast ask.

You’ve only given two instances without saying how long you’ve been dating... for example: if you’re together for 6 months and she’s come to you about money twice then that is no big deal.


If she’s also considering you for marriage she’s probably expecting you to be a provider and so when dating she will test your ability to provide and your level of generosity.

keep in mind that a woman wanting her man to pay for stuff doesn’t mean she doesn’t have money. If she’s saying she’s broke, though, that could possibly be a red flag suggesting that she doesn’t manage money well or she’s just pretending to be broke to get you to cover the expenses

McSquishi:


The first ask was hasty depending on how long you guys were in this period of hour long conversations. If you were going on like that for a month or two then a week into something official is not that hasty but if you’d only known her a couple weeks then it’s a fast ask.

You’ve only given two instances without saying how long you’ve been dating... for example: if you’re together for 6 months and she’s come to you about money twice then that is no big deal.


If she’s also considering you for marriage she’s probably expecting you to be a provider and so when dating she will test your ability to provide and your level of generosity.

keep in mind that a woman wanting her man to pay for stuff doesn’t mean she doesn’t have money. If she’s saying she’s broke, though, that could possibly be a red flag suggesting that she doesn’t manage money well or she’s just pretending to be broke to get you to cover the expenses

we had only spoken for about three days before we started dating, if that answers your question . And we have only dated for about three weeks in total

It's a blue flag. Don't run, stay and figure it out.

Martinelli35:
we had only spoken for about three days before we started dating, if that answers your question . And we have only dated for about three weeks in total

And "everything clicked" in those three days so you sent her 60k?

I plan to click with you by Sunday. Please send me just £100 as I don't want to seem too greedy.

Wisdom is profitable to direct. I rest my case.

Martinelli35:
we had only spoken for about three days before we started dating, if that answers your question . And we have only dated for about three weeks in total

Oh. Then yikes

I mean, it doesn’t look good... definitely seems like she has eyes on the money. Maybe you found her at a particularly difficult period. Anything is possible but definitely a huge red flag to keep watch on.

How can you be looking for a wife at abuja of all places. you dey Bleep up o. fake ass people, come to lagos, lagosians are as real as Bleep. Real hustlers.

Martinelli35:
I will make this as brief as possible. I left Nigeria to the UK around may last year and I have fully settled in the country and was looking for someone to settle down with, I didn’t want a foreign girl, so I looked for Nigerians only, the ones I kept meeting here were either engaged with someone back in Nigeria, had serious relationships with someone else or married. So I decided to look back home. A friend of mine introduced me to a beautiful lady who lived and worked in Abuja, she appeared to be doing well for self and was courteous as well. So we started speaking and everything clicked, she wasn’t boring at all and could keep a convo going for hours. We started dating and things were going fine until I noticed something which appears to be a red flag, but I keep doubting if am been too hasty in reaching a conclusion. Just a week after we started dating, she started complaining that she was really broke, that she was kind struggling. In my mind I felt it was too soon for this to come up but I nevertheless sent her 60k to help out. Less than two weeks later, she sent me a letter from her work place that stated that her salary would be delayed for that month . She started complaining of how she was in dire straits and wouldn’t be able to survive till then. I sha played along and told her that where I worked they even delayed my own by a whole month. I can take care of a lady I like no problems, but this incessant asking, is it not too soon in this relationship? This is someone am already thinking of settling down with. If with a six figure salary she can’t manage herself, is this not a bad sign?

Why can't you focus on what you're doing there when you come back home you fine a descent girl, she open office on your head and self is a mugu

Qatar2022:

Why can't you focus on what you're doing there when you come back home you fine a descent girl, she open office on your head and self is a mugu

who mentioned anything about coming back.

Money, money, money. It's sad what our girls have become.

That's how I left a girl I really liked and wanted to marry because of her constant demand for money. Unfortunately for her I met another girl who was never demanding and I wifed her. A year later she tried coming back but it was too late.

Many ladies will lose their future husband's because of this stinking attitude.

I think this is a problem of mostly girls in the West, East and Southern parts though. In the North and Middle belt, the girls there are very reasonable. You give a girl 5k and she is so appreciative. She finds it difficult to even demand in the first instance.

budaatum:


And "everything clicked" in those three days so you sent her 60k?

I plan to click with you by Sunday. Please send me just £100 as I don't want to seem too greedy.

Foolish Simpson like him won't even send N1 to a man who is facing an existential crisis.

Martinelli35:
who mentioned anything about coming back.

My brother I have been in this kind situation, all of them will see you as ATM
I will advise you to find a girl there and forget any girl in Nigeria it will never end well

TarOrfeeek:



Foolish Simpson like him won't even send N1 to a man who is facing an existential crisis.

Gbamstically..... ion know how to Help guys reason say the only person wey fit help you pass anytime you fall na ur fellow Guy

zed7:
Money, money, money. It's sad what our girls have become.

That's how I left a girl I really liked and wanted to marry because of her constant demand for money. Unfortunately for her I met another girl who was never demanding and I wifed her. A year later she tried coming back but it was too late.

Many ladies will lose their future husband's because of this stinking attitude.

Nothing turns me off other than this attitude....ion know why 9ja girls just see their male counterparts as the source to income. that attitude is as annoying asf

The girl I met two weeks ago did same n I just left her on Read ever since then, archive her chats n mute her status. very stupid sect of folks

TarOrfeeek:



Foolish Simpson like him won't even send N1 to a man who is facing an existential crisis.

and you would know this how?

adadike:
Which six figure salary? Trust no one until you are really sure. Moreover she is already seeing you and using you as her mugu. My Naija sisters should stop seeing men as their atm machine. Be a sure girl, get a job or learn a skill, do everything you can to be productive. If he takes you out this week and foots the bill, the following week, take him out and foot the bill as well. Try and return every favour he shows you and don't be a pain the neck. Depending solely on a man for everything dey send man to early grave. Shikena

.

U ARE WELL CULTURED, AND WELL BROUGHT UP.

I PRAY YOU GET THE BEST

Martinelli35:
I will make this as brief as possible. I left Nigeria to the UK around may last year and I have fully settled in the country and was looking for someone to settle down with, I didn’t want a foreign girl, so I looked for Nigerians only, the ones I kept meeting here were either engaged with someone back in Nigeria, had serious relationships with someone else or married. So I decided to look back home. A friend of mine introduced me to a beautiful lady who lived and worked in Abuja, she appeared to be doing well for self and was courteous as well. So we started speaking and everything clicked, she wasn’t boring at all and could keep a convo going for hours. We started dating and things were going fine until I noticed something which appears to be a red flag, but I keep doubting if am been too hasty in reaching a conclusion. Just a week after we started dating, she started complaining that she was really broke, that she was kind struggling. In my mind I felt it was too soon for this to come up but I nevertheless sent her 60k to help out. Less than two weeks later, she sent me a letter from her work place that stated that her salary would be delayed for that month . She started complaining of how she was in dire straits and wouldn’t be able to survive till then. I sha played along and told her that where I worked they even delayed my own by a whole month. I can take care of a lady I like no problems, but this incessant asking, is it not too soon in this relationship? This is someone am already thinking of settling down with. If with a six figure salary she can’t manage herself, is this not a bad sign?

FIND A WAY TO RUN AWAY

Martinelli35:
I will make this as brief as possible. I left Nigeria to the UK around may last year and I have fully settled in the country and was looking for someone to settle down with, I didn’t want a foreign girl, so I looked for Nigerians only, the ones I kept meeting here were either engaged with someone back in Nigeria, had serious relationships with someone else or married. So I decided to look back home. A friend of mine introduced me to a beautiful lady who lived and worked in Abuja, she appeared to be doing well for self and was courteous as well. So we started speaking and everything clicked, she wasn’t boring at all and could keep a convo going for hours. We started dating and things were going fine until I noticed something which appears to be a red flag, but I keep doubting if am been too hasty in reaching a conclusion. Just a week after we started dating, she started complaining that she was really broke, that she was kind struggling. In my mind I felt it was too soon for this to come up but I nevertheless sent her 60k to help out. Less than two weeks later, she sent me a letter from her work place that stated that her salary would be delayed for that month . She started complaining of how she was in dire straits and wouldn’t be able to survive till then. I sha played along and told her that where I worked they even delayed my own by a whole month. I can take care of a lady I like no problems, but this incessant asking, is it not too soon in this relationship? This is someone am already thinking of settling down with. If with a six figure salary she can’t manage herself, is this not a bad sign?

BE CAREFUL OF WOMEN ADVICE HERE.
THEY ARE LIKELY TO GIVE U THE WRONG ADVISE ONLY BECAUSE THEIR FELLOW WILL BE BENEFITING.
U BE GOD SENT FOR OUR WOMEN OH . FOR U TO FROM THERE TO THE FIN OUR NIGERIA GALS.

Martinelli35:
I will make this as brief as possible. I left Nigeria to the UK around may last year and I have fully settled in the country and was looking for someone to settle down with, I didn’t want a foreign girl, so I looked for Nigerians only, the ones I kept meeting here were either engaged with someone back in Nigeria, had serious relationships with someone else or married. So I decided to look back home. A friend of mine introduced me to a beautiful lady who lived and worked in Abuja, she appeared to be doing well for self and was courteous as well. So we started speaking and everything clicked, she wasn’t boring at all and could keep a convo going for hours. We started dating and things were going fine until I noticed something which appears to be a red flag, but I keep doubting if am been too hasty in reaching a conclusion. Just a week after we started dating, she started complaining that she was really broke, that she was kind struggling. In my mind I felt it was too soon for this to come up but I nevertheless sent her 60k to help out. Less than two weeks later, she sent me a letter from her work place that stated that her salary would be delayed for that month . She started complaining of how she was in dire straits and wouldn’t be able to survive till then. I sha played along and told her that where I worked they even delayed my own by a whole month. I can take care of a lady I like no problems, but this incessant asking, is it not too soon in this relationship? This is someone am already thinking of settling down with. If with a six figure salary she can’t manage herself, is this not a bad sign?

what kind of attitude is that? Some girls sef. Tell her you dont have. How can one person be asking up and down. Dont use style to run. Are you afraid of her?

she may be lying she earns 6 figure salary in Abuja. I

Martinelli35:
I will make this as brief as possible. I left Nigeria to the UK around may last year and I have fully settled in the country and was looking for someone to settle down with, I didn’t want a foreign girl, so I looked for Nigerians only, the ones I kept meeting here were either engaged with someone back in Nigeria, had serious relationships with someone else or married. So I decided to look back home. A friend of mine introduced me to a beautiful lady who lived and worked in Abuja, she appeared to be doing well for self and was courteous as well. So we started speaking and everything clicked, she wasn’t boring at all and could keep a convo going for hours. We started dating and things were going fine until I noticed something which appears to be a red flag, but I keep doubting if am been too hasty in reaching a conclusion. Just a week after we started dating, she started complaining that she was really broke, that she was kind struggling. In my mind I felt it was too soon for this to come up but I nevertheless sent her 60k to help out. Less than two weeks later, she sent me a letter from her work place that stated that her salary would be delayed for that month . She started complaining of how she was in dire straits and wouldn’t be able to survive till then. I sha played along and told her that where I worked they even delayed my own by a whole month. I can take care of a lady I like no problems, but this incessant asking, is it not too soon in this relationship? This is someone am already thinking of settling down with. If with a six figure salary she can’t manage herself, is this not a bad sign?

I doubt if she is independent and earning that much. Moreso, I think she sees you as a meal ticket. There is a general belief that Abuja women are hustlers. I wouldn't want to be stereotypical or generalize, but I think she is guilty of this claim. Look, you seem well grounded traditionally, reason why (I think) you want to settle for a Nigerian, but don't cheat yourself out of the opportunity of meeting a great lady on grounds of looking for a Nigerian.


I think you should let her go! Be more flexible and liberal in your choices. Even these foreigners can make great companions/mothers. Good luck!

Hmm. Op boldly say no when next she ask for anything, relax and see how she would react.

@Martinelli35

It's a huge red flag, cut off on any bill for the next three months and see wonders. It may be too early to end things, but come out straight with her on the billing thing, tell her you don't really like it and it's not that its too early, you find a bit of challenge in her management skill with her own money and you are having a bad signal about it.


Give it to her straight my brother, if she really loves you she would adjust if not she go jakpa. This works a 100%.


Equally what I've learnt over time is not to force anything, just be doing your thing and mingle for about a month, a colleague is there though in the netherlands, but occasionally comes to London, na him day run from single chicks, infact confuse on who to pick, Nigerians precisely, I wonder your location. More importantly pray about it, this a major decision let God guide you aright.

recommendations are fine, but I prefer to select for myself, by myself with the help of God Sha. I no day like nonsense