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Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House - Family - Nairaland

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Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by legba1(m): 10:58am On Apr 18, 2011
Election ahd come and gone but the incidence that took place right in my living room on that fatefull saturday will not leave me in a hurry.The extent of damage it might even cause i cannot realy place a prize on.
I went out as expected of every nigerian of voting ages to exercise my civic right,i left my mum-in-law at home with my wife and our lil baby with the generator running on diesel.while on the queue at the polling boot,just about five houses away from my flat,PHCN restored electricity.it was therefore a great suprice when i got home about one hour thirty munutes later to found the house still running on gen.i stormed in and enquire why my mrs had not changed over to nepa.obviously i was furious because this is happening while am trying to cut down on "our" diesel consumption.her responce not being too satisfactory,i gave her some piece of my mind,i was still undone when "grand ma"as we call my mum-in-law landed a "bad" slap on my chic from behind claiming " i insulted her".i was dazed because my confrontation was with my wife.
she was really annoyed that i had to complain that much seing her watching the home video with her daughter in the living room.she insisted my actions amounted to afront because iam indirectly saying if my wife is not wise enogh to conserve diesel,what about her being older.this beats me hands down.before leaving for work this morning,i have told the daughter to inform her to take her leave else i wont return to the house.we have not said a word to each other since that saturday and i have packed a mini wardrobe that will last a whole week in my car.
Having done this,NAIRALANDER,what next step will you advise i take on this matter as am still furious and uncompose about it all.Please your good opinion will be appreciated
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Blazay(m): 11:15am On Apr 18, 2011
How many ill-brought up MILs are we gonna witness on NL?
No wonder their children act just like them.
No home-training at all. cry

No advice to give.
Read other threads with similar issues.

1 Like

Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by iyatrustee(f): 11:18am On Apr 18, 2011
na wa oh! if this is true, then her daugther's days in my house has just been shortened angry angry
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 11:33am On Apr 18, 2011
..

1 Like

Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by obowunmi(m): 11:35am On Apr 18, 2011
Inlaw lands a slap on your cheek, abi ? Well next time don't talk yo wife anyhow. Its not rocket science.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 12:55pm On Apr 18, 2011
There is no need to leave your own house just because someone insulted you,What if you have nowhere to go?tell your in-law to leave and if your wife behave otherwise throw both of them out.if u don't stand your ground now more is on the way and it might be too late then.

2 Likes

Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by babyme1(f): 1:07pm On Apr 18, 2011
You must have been mean in your choice of words when u were talking with wifey,however that is no excuse for grandma to slap you.

Send grandma home mend your relationship with your wife.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by nat138: 4:45pm On Apr 18, 2011
@ Poster, I will like to know where you wife is from (I mean the state and possibly ethnic group).

Because in my place, it is considered an insult to the MIL if you as much as shout at her daughter and worse if you even lift your hand on her daughter (am not saying you beat your wife oo) in her presence.

If this happens, she (MIL) may go and tell the people at home that you beat her (MIL) up.

Am not in any way supporting the way your MIL reacted to you because it is bad, and as someone has said that is not reason enough to leave your own house. Just go back, talk to your wife and let her call her mother to order.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by harakiri(m): 1:07am On Apr 19, 2011
That's what you get for getting married in the first place. Deal and live with it.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by ifyalways(f): 6:29am On Apr 19, 2011
@OP,Don't even make the mistake of leaving ur house,not for ur MIL or anyone.

How u handled the situation is def. not the best or ideal,it was more of acting on impulse still what ur MIL did cannot be excused!

You should have just gone ahead to do the change over OR call out ur wife seperately and ask her.

Besides,is it even remotely possible that they had no idea that PHCN had restored power?Is there any way for them to know?any giveaways?Remenber they are indoors?

Done is done,way to go is to be firm and take charge as the man of the house.Don't fall for ur wife's silence or be as foolish as to stop talking to her.

Call and sit her down,apologise to her for ur earlier outburst,then tell her that what her mum did is unacceptable and therefore MUST leave the house.That's it!!

She can go home and try slapping her OWN husband.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 6:45am On Apr 19, 2011
What did your wife do/say when all these happened?
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Sissy3(f): 7:34am On Apr 19, 2011
ifyalways:

@OP,Don't even make the mistake of leaving your house,not for your MIL or anyone.

How u handled the situation is def. not the best or ideal,it was more of acting on impulse still what your MIL did cannot be excused!

You should have just gone ahead to do the change over OR call out your wife seperately and ask her.

Besides,is it even remotely possible that they had no idea that PHCN had restored power?Is there any way for them to know?any giveaways?Remenber they are indoors?

Done is done,way to go is to be firm and take charge as the man of the house.Don't fall for your wife's silence or be as foolish as to stop talking to her.

Call and sit her down,apologise to her for your earlier outburst,then tell her that what her mum did is unacceptable and therefore MUST leave the house.That's it!!

She can go home and try slapping her OWN husband.

Agree. yes, they might not even know that NEPA has restored light given that they both inside watching movies.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 7:57am On Apr 19, 2011
Did you really have to insult your wife right in front of her own mother

You deserve to be insulted too. Your wife is not a kid and certainly if she knew there was light she wd have made the switch. Why don't you invest in indicator light and stop causing problems for yourself! cool
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by obowunmi(m): 8:00am On Apr 19, 2011
Well said Uju, any mother will defend her daughter from the anger of a madman --- esp one who gets angry over the generator ---- yeesh! Of all the most important things in the world -- abusing your wife because of the generator.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by horny4u(f): 8:40am On Apr 19, 2011
Your MIL shld never have slapped u no matter what.
Mr money dey pepper me your wife is your co pilot and you must speak to her in such a way that u donot rip her of every shred of dignity she has.
See mama took ur dignity and u didnot like it too.
If you are yoruba prostrate for mama then secretly plan her exit from your house then turn the spare room to a study she is allowed to visit and go back same day as I donot trust her to take sound judgements yet she is your kids grandma.
Show her respect but no more overnight trips.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by obowunmi(m): 9:06am On Apr 19, 2011
LoL @ turning spare room into study.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 9:34am On Apr 19, 2011
Uju I 100percent agree with you here. Lets cut the MIL some slacks(not saying she did right by slapping him) first and really think. This poster said he ''told  her his mind'' . Only God knows what kind of ''words'' he used on his wife in the presence of his MIL to cause her to react that way. Really?
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by ifyalways(f): 9:40am On Apr 19, 2011
Ujujoan:

Did you really have to insult your wife right in front of her own mother

You deserve to be insulted too. Your wife is not a kid and certainly if she knew there was light she wd have made the switch. Why don't you invest in indicator light and stop causing problems for yourself! cool
LOL

Uju,lets just say it was the scorching sun . . .dude had temporal heat stroke.  cheesy
Na dem send am make he go stand for sun?How in the world does he expect them to know that they have restored power without an indicator gadget?

He went overboard,likewise his MIL.

The wife is the victim here and on the receiving end of their fuCkery.She deserves an apology from both of them.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by breathless(m): 11:54am On Apr 19, 2011
@ Poster, obviously your wife`s reaction shows her allegiance to her mum and not you cos u did not state that she reacted in your defence and dat my friend is a HUGE minus. Why leave the home you pay rent on and inconvenience ya self while ur MIL n her daughter are feeding and feasting away aty ur expense. C`mon go back home and ask grandma 2 leave in the next 24 hrs or go to the police and report a case of physical assault, threat to life and property and get her arrested. Whichever action you decide to take, make it drastic and a warning signal 2 ur spouse.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 12:40pm On Apr 19, 2011
ifyalways:

LOL

Uju,lets just say it was the scorching sun . . .dude had temporal heat stroke.  cheesy
Na dem send am make he go stand for sun?How in the world does he expect them to know that they have restored power without an indicator gadget?

He went overboard,likewise his MIL.

The wife is the victim here and on the receiving end of their fuCkery.She deserves an apology from both of them.



Lol grin grin grin

I agree with you, his MIL went overboard . . . . undecided

But I bet he's been doing this all along. The poor woman probably already complained to her mother and he confirmed it by demonstrating it for her . . . over something as silly as a change in power supply! undecided undecided

Still . . . . attacking him physically is not the best way out. I really feel sorry for the poor wife . . . she must be torn between an overbearing husband and mother! undecided
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 1:53pm On Apr 19, 2011
Wow. That was harsh!

I can't advice on what Legba should do, he'll have to figure that out for himself. I do know that if my mother-in-law slapped me, regardless of cause, I would retaliate with a jaw-busting, tooth-loosening slap of my own. It would probably knock her across the room and earn her a trip to the dentist, but do I care? No one, and I repeat, no one slaps me, and gets away with it. My own parents disciplined me with beatings, as most Nigerian parents do, but I was never slapped.

What the heck would such an animal be doing in my home anyway? And before people begin harping on about respect, respect is a privilege, not a right. She has to earn it, not just assume I would give it, just because I'm married to her daughter.

1 Like

Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by modele2: 2:40pm On Apr 19, 2011
Poster please do not exernorate ur self from all blame. I actually tried to picture it happening to me am also in a young marriage and have a little kid. My husband with all his faults respects my mother too much to shout at me in her presence, I cant even picture it. If i do something bad, he would stomach and warn me quietly then shread me when we are in the room.

Your poor motherinlaw could not take the insult and since ure her son(weather u like it or not) she treated u as she would treat her kid. Wit a smack. lipsrsealed

Berra cool down. Tell her ure sorry for ur outburst but dont like and cant accept that! the marriage is too young to start offending inlaws, for peace sake act like a man eat humble pie an move on.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by ekoboy: 6:31pm On Apr 19, 2011
All these people trying to say its ok for MIL to slap him make my laugh. The man must always be wrong. Man slaps woman, he is a devil. Woman slaps man he is still a devil. that must be the reason woman slapped him.

Any MIL that would not realise that she is in another man's house and therefore has to respect him shouldn't be around anyway. Couple's quarrel, thats like normal. She shouldn't involve herself in anyway. If she feels disrespected she should leave and maybe at the point of begging her to come back she will explain her unhappiness. She cannot take matters into her hands. Its not her house!!!!!!!!! Did the daughter beg her to intervene. She probably knew she was wrong and was taking the bashing.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by chillbabe(f): 3:17am On Apr 20, 2011
@legba well am nt Nigerian but evem my late Mum would put u in ure place for shouting at me in her presense. And more so u dnt should at ure wife u talk or ask questions in a normale way. How come u didnt call her to tell her honey PHCN brought like so switch over. I dnt support ure MIL slapping u.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by dayokanu(m): 6:56am On Apr 20, 2011
ekoboy:

All these people trying to say its ok for MIL to slap him make my laugh. [size=18pt]The man must always be wrong. Man slaps woman, he is a devil. Woman slaps man he is still a devil. that must be the reason woman slapped him.[/size]

Any MIL that would not realise that she is in another man's house and therefore has to respect him shouldn't be around anyway. Couple's quarrel, thats like normal. She shouldn't involve herself in anyway. If she feels disrespected she should leave and maybe at the point of begging her to come back she will explain her unhappiness. She cannot take matters into her hands. Its not her house!!!!!!!!! Did the daughter beg her to intervene. She probably knew she was wrong and was taking the bashing.

You can repeat the part in bold again.

If this happens to me I would leave and give her an order to vacate my house withing 24hrs, else na area boys go clear all her belongings for inside rain, Also the daughter should be careful what she says at this time cos she might follow her mom also.

No MIL would dare slap me in my own house. She should marry her mother
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 7:04am On Apr 20, 2011
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Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 8:47am On Apr 20, 2011
people respond to anger in diff ways. Some are coolheaded whilst others are direct opposite. My main question is ;what sort of words did he use on his wife? Did he insult or belittle her generation in the presence of his MIL? Because I used to be hot tempered(still am sha but small) and it took a lot of therapy  sessions from baba kadry to cool my head small. It took alot of counting 1-10 and walking out to actually ignore a lot of trouble makers around me and well I did damn the counting sometimes and gave them a piece of my mind. Lol back in the day when jenny almost killed a work colleague who thought I was a ''black biatch'' he could intimidate anyhow. It took kadry 500km/sec driving to get to me on time after my work people rang him.

What am I saying? If someone insults my generation (born and unborn) in my very before, there is a 99.9% probability of me breaking your head and leaving your house Thats the truth.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by ziddy(m): 9:01am On Apr 20, 2011
@ Poster

Obviously your cup overflowed, for your MIL to actually slap you in your own house. You must have been throwing your weight around for so long the woman lost all respect for you. She done 'see you finish'

If you throw her out, you will be starting a war you can never win, and you may end up losing your marriage. Just apologize to the MIL, ensure you treat your wife better in future and maintain a dignified distance from the both of them. She will eventually get the message and leave your house.
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 9:39am On Apr 20, 2011
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Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 10:16am On Apr 20, 2011
Let's ay the wife was screaming at her husband, with her father-in-law present, and he then slapped her. I suppose the responses here would be very different, because man always has to be wrong, and be the villanous brute.

A clear case of double standards. Man may have the will, but woman clearly has her way, each and everytime. My response still stands though. What would a slap-happy, Patience Ozokwor-like mother-in-law be doing in my home?

2 Likes

Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 10:28am On Apr 20, 2011
Siena:

Let's ay the wife was screaming at her husband, with her father-in-law present, and he then slapped her. I suppose the responses here would be very different, because man always has to be wrong, and be the villanous brute.

A clear case of double standards. Man may have the will, but woman clearly has her way, each and everytime. My response still stands though. What would a slap-happy, Patience Ozokwor-like mother-in-law be doing in my home?


Are you equating the physical strength of a man to that of a woman?

The slap from the MIL couldn't have been harmful to a full grown man like him but I bet a slap from a man will have the exact opposite effect.

The point here is that the man should have respected the MIL by using a gentler tone while scolding his wife. Like the MIL said, he was also indirectly screaming at her (the MIL) because she was there too!

Okay maybe she shouldn't have slapped him, but he would have thought of the consequences of his actions . . . before doing them!
Re: Husband Abused By Mum-in-law Right In His House by Nobody: 10:37am On Apr 20, 2011
Siena no one is saying the MIL did right by slapping him but I read this guy's post and the below made me wonder what exactly did he say/call her that caused his MIL to act like that? both of them(MIL and daughter) were the two in the house and he should have stopped short for a minute to weigh his words first before dishing out. I myself as a wife sef will not take such nonsense insults over something as little as petrol. They might not have even known NEPA came back on.

After giving her a piece of his mind he still had more to say , meaning that if the MIL had not shut him up with a slap he would have continued degrading his wife in her mum's presence and insulting the woman too. Haba ,maka petrol kwa undecided


i stormed in and enquire why my mrs had not changed over to nepa.obviously i was furious because this is happening while am trying to cut down on "our" diesel consumption.her responce not being too satisfactory[b],i gave her some piece of my mind[/b],i was still undone when "grand ma"as we call my mum-in-law  landed a "bad" slap on my chic from behind claiming " i insulted her".i was dazed because my confrontation was with my wife.

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