Siena:

As for the man moderating his tones, just because the MIL is present, I disagree. A couple should be free to interact as normal, as they would if MIL wasn't present, and not "stifle" themselves. If they have to suppress themselves because MIL is present, then they're living a lie. Supposing MIL was there for six months, would they now alter their way of living, just to present a different image to MIL? Would you say putting on a front is healthy? If MIL has that effect, then her presence in her daughter's home could be damaging,

jennykadry:

So a couple should shout and yell at eachother in the presence of their kids everyday abi since they are trying to "be themselves"? so a couple is allowed to exchange harsh words in their kids presence and even in the presence of an outsider(not family related)are you kidding me? please no sane person would wanna expose their dirty linens outside in the presence of their visitor especially when the matter is this little,  

If this man had issues he should have called his wife into the room and talked to her. You honestly cannot scream at me and use rubbush words in the presence of my mum without her telling you a word or two as she would tell her own sons

Please give me the shekpe wey you drink today siena ,I might be needing one myself.

i stormed in and enquire why my mrs had not changed over to nepa.obviously i was furious because this is happening while am trying to cut down on "our" diesel consumption.her responce not being too satisfactory,i gave her some piece of my mind,i was still undone when "grand ma"as we call my mum-in-law  landed a "bad" slap on my chic from behind claiming " i insulted her".i was dazed because my confrontation was with my wife.

jay bee:

Who slapped who?
MIL slapped her daughter so what's the fuss abt?

Who slapped who?
MIL slapped her daughter so what's the fuss abt?

Siena:

Nah, MIL slapped her son-in-law.

legba1:

Election ahd come and gone but the incidence that took place right in my living room on that fatefull saturday will not leave me in a hurry.The extent of damage it might even cause i cannot realy place a prize on.
I went out as expected of every nigerian of voting ages to exercise my civic right,i left my mum-in-law at home with my wife and our lil baby with the generator running on diesel.while on the queue at the polling boot,just about five houses away from my flat,PHCN restored electricity.it was therefore a great suprice when i got home about one hour thirty munutes later to found the house still running on gen.i stormed in and enquire why my mrs had not changed over to nepa.obviously i was furious because this is happening while am trying to cut down on "our" diesel consumption.her responce not being too satisfactory,i gave her some piece of my mind,[b]i was still undone when "grand ma"as we call my mum-in-law  landed a "bad" slap on my chic [/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]from behind claiming " i insulted her".[/b]i was dazed because my confrontation was with my wife.
she was really annoyed that i had to complain that much seing her watching the home video with her daughter in the living room.she insisted my actions amounted to afront because iam indirectly saying if my wife is not wise enogh to conserve diesel,what about her being older.this beats me hands down.before leaving for work this morning,i have told the daughter to inform her to take her leave else i wont return to the house.we have not said a word to each other since that saturday and i have packed a mini wardrobe that will last a whole week in my car.
Having done this,NAIRALANDER,what next step will you advise i take on this matter as am still furious and uncompose about it all.Please your good opinion will be appreciated

Kanou:

loool I guess "chic" was there for "cheek"

Siena:

Uju, it doesn't matter who slaps who. The point is, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. Assault is assault, regardless of gender. It is extremely disrespectful for a woman to slap her SIL. What messages is this getting across to wifey? Each time they have any sort of disagreement, she'll go running to mama. I feel matrimonial issues should be solved by the couple, without a meddling MIL. Is that how she slaps her husband, assuming he's still alive?

As for the man moderating his tones, just because the MIL is present, I disagree. A couple should be free to interact as normal, as they would if MIL wasn't present, and not "stifle" themselves. If they have to suppress themselves because MIL is present, then they're living a lie. Supposing MIL was there for six months, would they now alter their way of living, just to present a different image to MIL? Would you say putting on a front is healthy? If MIL has that effect, then her presence in her daughter's home could be damaging.

Ujujoan:

Like you said, this is your opinion. But no reasonable man will shout at his wife, over a change in power supply, in the presence of her mother! That is an indirect insult to the woman/

Siena:

Uju, no one knows the sort of language the OP used in addressing his wife, or how much his voice was raised. I think you're also playing down what lead to the man and wife having words. Do we know what sort of language the wife responded with, or we just assume it was all one-sided?

What is not in dispute though, is that his mother-in-law slapped him. A slap is very different from a blow - a slap is the extreme in disrespect. No different from a "madam" physically abusing her houseboy. Madam's tend to slap their houseboys, because that's the greatest disrespect she can afford him. Like spitting in the face of a slave. A blow may be physically more damaging, but a slap is chosen for its effect. That's exactly what the MIL did to her SIL.

I asked in a previous post - if the roles were reversed, and a father-in-law slapped his daughter-in-law, because the daughter-in-law "disrespected him" by having an arguement / raising her voice to her husband in his presence, will your reaction (and that of the majority) be the same? Would she deserve it?

ifyalways:

Where is the OP na?

Still nursing the after-effects of the slap? 

The husband acted like a boy and on impulse.why storm to the house to give your wife a piece of your mind when obviously,she had no idea that PHCN has restored power?

I can just picture him telling her how useless and careless she is towards their finance,your mama no teach you how to manage money . . .blah blah,making noise . . .Mama rightly shut him up with a slap.

Well,he acted on impulse,SIL reacted on impulse too.1 bad turn deserves another. LOL

I still maintain that the OP has to apologize to the wife [/b]for his childish and unnecessary outburst and the [b]MIL has to leave . . .that is If she has not left already.

jennykadry:

What am I saying? If someone insults my generation (born and unborn) in my very before, there is a 99.9% probability of me breaking your head and leaving your house Thats the truth.

ziddy:

@ Poster

Obviously your cup overflowed, for your MIL to actually slap you in your own house. You must have been throwing your weight around for so long the woman lost all respect for you. She done 'see you finish'

If you throw her out, you will be starting a war you can never win, and you may end up losing your marriage. Just apologize to the MIL, ensure you treat your wife better in future and maintain a dignified distance from the both of them. She will eventually get the message and leave your house.

Ujujoan:

Are you equating the physical strength of a man to that of a woman?

The slap from the MIL couldn't have been harmful to a full grown man like him but I bet a slap from a man will have the exact opposite effect.

The point here is that the man should have respected the MIL by using a gentler tone while scolding his wife. Like the MIL said, he was also indirectly screaming at her (the MIL) because she was there too!

Okay maybe she shouldn't have slapped him, but he would have thought of the consequences of his actions . . . before doing them!

dayokanu:

Let me ask if a wife or mother in Law insult the husbands generation is he allowed to slap them also?

dayokanu:

Isnt it ridiculous and hypocritical to excuse a woman slapping a man under certain circumstance but criminal for a man to do the same under ANY circumstance?  I thought they were both human beings with equal right

dayokanu:

Would it be ok if the man slapped the woman with the same intensity? WOuld it be ok for a man to use a "mild" slap on the woman also?

Isnt it ridiculous and hypocritical to excuse a woman slapping a man under certain circumstance but criminal for a man to do the same under ANY circumstance? I thought they were both human beings with equal right

dayokanu:

^^ Let me ask,

If the wife or MIL had spoken rudely to him and he slapped them Would you have advised the wife or MIL to go and apologize to him cos they spoke rudely?

If a wife speaks harshly and rudely to her husband in the presence of her inlaws, I guess her Father-in law is also allowed to slap her.

Ujujoan:

Seriously Dayo, you are not allowed to hit a woman . . . let it go!

dayokanu:

But a woman is allowed to hit a man?

I thought it was any human is not allowed to hit another human unless you are saying one huuman is lesser than the other