If you are cool headed, considerate, respectful and believe in the institution of a lasting marriage then you will have a lasting married life.

That butterfly feeling will fade out.
Expect it to fade, its normal. However you can still show and express love and mutual respect.
Expect change and adapt to it.
Communication is key, even if you don't feel like, do it.
Communication means, listen attentively to respond accordingly and ensure your spouse understands you.

My only advice for people wanting to venture into marriage is this......
Don't marry her, as long as u no get 10 fvckin million standby!
Don't marry, marriage na scam!
A very big scam
I mean, our present marriage, bcus las las, office romancers will knack ur wife
Forget marriage, if u need more advice, u tell me make i drop my btc address, my advice cost shaa...
But u see dat marriage, them go knack ur wife unless....
(Ask for my btc address incase u want the full gist)

You worry too much . If while courting, you didn't ignore the signs that could lead to issues in marriage, you should not have a problem.

D

If you both are sincere in courtship and define what you want in marriage, agreeing and understanding that it isn't a bed of roses, you will be fine.

You can do without arguments however, there could be times for Frank talks where you have to talk about your feelings.

Above all, both of you need work together on all front and learn to define your home since each home has its own uniqueness.

No formula in marriage.
The type of people that gets into it, determines everything.

Do not marry. I repeat, DO NOT MARRY! Just keep baby mamas but do not MARRY! Its a plot to kill you and punish your soul.
Do not marry!

My advise for the unmarried is that you can never know unless you have been married. Get married early learn and correct your errors, it not a crime to divorce just to fix the errors, if eventually you don’t feel comfortable living with a woman you might as well go back to being single, their is no crime to that as well except you already have kids with any woman.

If you have had kids with any woman you must bring all your kids to live with you so that you can train them right; that is if you have the right training yourself “ you can’t give what you don’t have “ and you must put your children first regardless of any woman you are with. If she will treat one child badly than the other you must tell her the consequences and should she violate the principle you shall send her away and hire a nanny to give equal treatment to your children.

The above is for men

For women, you have to be sure what you want, if you want money find a rich man to marry or stay single. If you want to marry to fulfill Gods purpose go ahead and marry a man that meet your logical expectations and support him morally emotionally, importantly respect him and don’t ever let him abuse you. If you plan to have kids, learn to be a good mother, a good mother focuses attention on the children and train them if you’re the type that believes that it’s God that train children, remember God didn’t impregnate you, so seek your husband support in training your children together.

Importantly, keep your mama, friends and well wishers like pastors advise out of your marriage. If you have not learned enough from your mama how to stay in marriage, don’t bother to get marry until you’re confident you have enough training. Your mummy’s training while you’re married may sometimes tear you’re marriage apart. So be careful, only pay attention to the positive things she says.

But the fulanis usually experience a blissful marriage. In marriage, they love themselves from the very beginning to the very end. They witnessed the least divorce cases anytime.

Even in Egypt, marriage remain a marriage and it can only get better. They employ trinity in marriage by marrying either family circle (I'm quoting the Egyptians here)

What i realised is, we should marry our relatives. Not a very close one but something like nephews/nieces, and distant cousins. Such marriages I've seen grow with maximum understanding and love and to me, these tools (understanding, love & trust) are the strongest tolls for marriage.

funny topic...marriage nowadays na MADrriage...my hatred for this sh1thole don increase to almost 90%...naija is hopeless ,whether you marry or not the system. go still f"ck you one way or the other.. na woman ,especially, naija own,see am as achievement o..them go use everything in dem assnal blackmail you including children,... you go slave for her till you quench..then move on to the next dude..some end up single mother of 1,2,3 or even 4..virgin self no dey..na borehole full everywhere... sorry o

Marriage is overrated therefore take your time before you jump into it. There is no straight answers to the questions you asked. What make marriages work most times is the mutual understanding and level of maturity from both partners. Love fades with time, maturity and understanding sustain the marriage in the long run

Pharaoh4rin:
But the fulanis usually experience a blissful marriage. In marriage, they love themselves from the very beginning to the very end. They witnessed the least divorce cases anytime.

Even in Egypt, marriage remain a marriage and it can only get better. They employ trinity in marriage by marrying either family circle (I'm quoting the Egyptians here)

What i realised is, we should marry our relatives. Not a very close one but something like nephews/nieces, and distant cousins. Such marriages I've seen grow with maximum understanding and love and to me, these tools (understanding, love & trust) are the strongest tolls for marriage.

Hmmmmm

Candid advice.... Make sure you have your own space as a man. If possible get a vacation house, you'd need it. As secondly know how to cook. I know what I'm saying!!

My advice to those who are yet to get married


rule number 1 never marry a girl who is the first daughter else you will bear all the family responsibilities

rule number 2 never marry a girl who has nothing doing . she will become a liability to you and will never contribute anything to the marriage .

rue number 3 marry a woman that loves you more than you love her ...

rule number 4 never marry a fair lady . those ones that use cream to turn themselves to white women . they mostly smell and are known to cheat a lot .

rule number 5 remember your wife is a stranger and isn't related to you in anyway so dont forget your real family while being married .

rule number 6 make sure you are financially able and mentally ready before marriage, dont be rushed or forced by someone or family to get married .


at the end we will leave this earth alone . so be wise and be smart

No matter how much you think you've already known your spouse, a lot will unravel after tying the knot, be prepared for shocks, be ready to absorb it and move on. Marriage is like wrapped moimoi in leaf, what you see after buying is not guaranteed

Wow this is interesting .... let me light � up to read more

chatinent:
While courting, you were better halves. What happens after marriage?


What happens after a week living together? and months, years? What happens to forever?


Does the love remain the same? Does it fade by itself? Are both parties always striving to resurrect it?


Of course, I understand it is not advisable to plunge into marriage!

What is life like in marriage?

What happens during a quarrel?

Does a partner always prove they are right?

Are there complaints? Complaints like one person washing the plates, and the other making it more tedious? Are there arguments about how the WC is to be used?


How and when are responsibilities shared?



What about insecurity?
Does it come on its own? Are there hidden thoughts one's partner may be cheating always?


What are the main responsibilities to keep a woman/man forever young in their hearts? What are the major needs?

What can make a woman still look very good even after childbirth?

Should the husband also do minor chores?

What happens when she becomes pregnant?

What is the major emotional need?

How is trust built?

To wives and husbands, what do you call satisfaction in a husband/wife? What needs does he/she fulfills make you feel satisfied?

What would you ever wish for?

Does the care and love remain the same?



I need experienced persons (married couples probably) to clarify me.


I've been thinking about these questions of late.

The first mistake you ll ever make going into marriage is to think that LOVE is enough and BEAUTY is permanent


These guys below will help you keep your home forever. You must have them in abundance.

1. RESPECT

2. PERSEVERANCE

3. FORGIVENESS

4. FORBEARANCE

5. PATIENCE

If you check any marriage in chaos, It's either one or more of the five keys above is missing or they are not in abundance

emmabest2000:
Marriage is a scam
The one who trust most in marriage hurt most

Exactly.. they are just unlucky! See especially the ladies

Lexusgs430:



After marriage, you simply become brother and sister....

e choke

A one hundred years of sweet courtship does not necessarily translate to successful marriage.

/
Marry to procreate. In times of trouble, your wards will give you reason to exist. Any other expectations will lead to depression while any bliss thereafter should be regarded as a blessing. Dating is just an advertisement. Whoever coined the phrase "buyers beware" must have been a genius. Bear that in mind before saying "I do"

/

You sounded like one with a wrong motive to marriage.

Stay away from it or build your mental strength to cope in marriage. It is hard work to keep the same job for 10 years and above as you get bored at times but it's much harder in marriage.

It's for better or worst. Intentional desires to make it work are essential to the success of your marriage. Of course, it's best and easier when both parties involved put the same energy into Ihe marriage.

chatinent:
While courting, you were better halves. What happens after marriage?


What happens after a week of k living together? and months, years? What happens to forever?


Does the love remain the same? Does it fade by itself? Are both parties always striving to resurrect it?


Of course, I understand it is not advisable to plunge into marriage!

What is life like in marriage?

What happens during a quarrel?

Does a partner always prove they are right?

Are there complaints? Complaints like one person washing the plates, and the other making it more tedious? Are there arguments about how the WC is to be used?


How and when are responsibilities shared?



What about insecurity?
Does it come on its own? Are there hidden thoughts one's partner may be cheating always?


What are the main responsibilities to keep a woman/man forever young in their hearts? What are the major needs?

What can make a woman still look very good even after childbirth?

Should the husband also do minor chores?

What happens when she becomes pregnant?

What is the major emotional need?

How is trust built?

To wives and husbands, what do you call satisfaction in a husband/wife? What needs does he/s fulfill make you feel satisfied?

What would you ever wish for?

Do care and love remain the same?



I need experienced persons (married couples probably) to clarify me.


I've been thinking about these questions of late.

mmadu4:
My advice to those who are yet to get married


rule number 1 never marry a girl who is the first daughter else you will bear all the family responsibilities

rule number 2 never marry a girl who has nothing doing . she will become a liability to you and will never contribute anything to the marriage .

rue number 3 marry a woman that loves you more than you love her ...

rule number 4 never marry a fair lady . those ones that use cream to turn themselves to white women . they mostly smell and are known to cheat a lot .

rule number 5 remember your wife is a stranger and isn't related to you in anyway so dont forget your real family while being married .

rule number 6 make sure you are financially able and mentally ready before marriage, dont be rushed or forced by someone or family to get married .


at the end we will leave this earth alone . so be wise and be smart

Rule number 7 Never marry a girl from a poor home else you'll bear all her family members responsibilities and become thier meal ticket including the extended ones.

Adinije:
There's no manual to marriage, however, there are certain things that are necessary.


Openess

During courtship, most people lies about a lot of things which usually break the trust when found out. A distant cousin of mine told her then fiancee that she is a graduate whereas, she dropped out of school. After they became married. Husband was trying hard to help his wife secure a job, when he received the shocker. They are still together but things never remained the same.



Financial Stability

A lot of people undermine the importance of finance in marriage. Most people get married hoping that when the woman enter, they will struggle together. Trust me when I say you will always find yourself in a rocky place. Forget the love is all that matters crap. Love doesn't pay bills.



Sexual Compatibility

This is another topic people don't take serious. But very important. A lot of infidelities in marriages happen due to sexual incompatibility.

financial stability . check/

GloShare:


Scam

You dont know the length a rogue virgin can go after marriage!


By then, you're beating your chest that you married a virgin... she has all your trust, but she gets the most nudge to test the waters!

Its not about virginity, its about the individual.

That's the mistake you guys make, virginity is still about the individual. You're not married and someone married is telling u the practical thing and you're here arguing. Okay go and marry a prostitute and come and tell us how far, stupid boy

The work begins

chatinent:
While courting, you were better halves. What happens after marriage?


What happens after a week living together? and months, years? What happens to forever?


Does the love remain the same? Does it fade by itself? Are both parties always striving to resurrect it?


Of course, I understand it is not advisable to plunge into marriage!

What is life like in marriage?

What happens during a quarrel?

Does a partner always prove they are right?

Are there complaints? Complaints like one person washing the plates, and the other making it more tedious? Are there arguments about how the WC is to be used?


How and when are responsibilities shared?



What about insecurity?
Does it come on its own? Are there hidden thoughts one's partner may be cheating always?


What are the main responsibilities to keep a woman/man forever young in their hearts? What are the major needs?

What can make a woman still look very good even after childbirth?

Should the husband also do minor chores?

What happens when she becomes pregnant?

What is the major emotional need?

How is trust built?

To wives and husbands, what do you call satisfaction in a husband/wife? What needs does he/she fulfills make you feel satisfied?

What would you ever wish for?

Does the care and love remain the same?



I need experienced persons (married couples probably) to clarify me.


I've been thinking about these questions of late.

EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER

One quick advice ,have enough sex before marriage because that is the first casualty and it's power wanes with the coming of children

My 10kobo

Women are mostly responsible for broken marriages.

They tend to give less attention and care after sometimes.

Their care and attention continues to reduce and it makes men feel unappreciated.

Just note that men want to be respected and women wanna feel loved. Get the right and it will carry you a long way.

chatinent:
While courting, you were better halves. What happens after marriage?


What happens after a week living together? and months, years? What happens to forever?


Does the love remain the same? Does it fade by itself? Are both parties always striving to resurrect it?


Of course, I understand it is not advisable to plunge into marriage!

What is life like in marriage?

What happens during a quarrel?

Does a partner always prove they are right?

Are there complaints? Complaints like one person washing the plates, and the other making it more tedious? Are there arguments about how the WC is to be used?


How and when are responsibilities shared?



What about insecurity?
Does it come on its own? Are there hidden thoughts one's partner may be cheating always?


What are the main responsibilities to keep a woman/man forever young in their hearts? What are the major needs?

What can make a woman still look very good even after childbirth?

Should the husband also do minor chores?

What happens when she becomes pregnant?

What is the major emotional need?

How is trust built?

To wives and husbands, what do you call satisfaction in a husband/wife? What needs does he/she fulfills make you feel satisfied?

What would you ever wish for?

Does the care and love remain the same?



I need experienced persons (married couples probably) to clarify me.


I've been thinking about these questions of late.

Op stop listening to hearsay from people on issues of marriage, especially people on the internet aka social media platforms.....most of them will paint marriage as one evil institution or another maybe out of their own failed experience they then go about generalising.....whereas millions of people around Nigeria and all over the world are all enjoying blissful marriage, so aspire to be those enjoying being married and that's what you will get because "law of attraction" works in life. You can use the power of attraction to attract all the goods things you want in life to your life, and you can also attract the negative to yourself. So always focus on the positive.


Now talking from my own personal experience as a young married man.....I have no single regrets....in fact I am enjoying being married than being single because it seems my life is now more organized and purposeful than when I was single. Mind you, I was doing well financially when I got married so I didn't marry out of no choice, I married at my own pace, not that I was a rich guy as in million million dollars oh, but I think I should be considered among the buoyant guys Nigerians see as rich; 2 tokunbo cars, live in a flat, own some landed properties being developed, owned my own business and few travel experience lol......but despite all that, when I look back at when I was single and compare it with now that I am sweetly and happily married, I can boldly say that my life is more organized and peaceful now than then lol.


I and my wife didn't officially court for a long time, we were on and off boyfriend and girlfriend all thanks to my stubborn and womanizing self lol, and her too much shakara too. I liked my wife when I first met her, she was so sexy like I desire my ladies as in, but this girl was not yielding to my moves....she indirectly accepted me oh but to fully put herself into the matter was an issue, which pushed me away to other ladies....and I always tell her that she was lucky cos I almost married another chick like that if not that she failed my final stage tests and all that.....pls ladies if you like a guy stop doing too much shakara for him cos you can lose him that way, my wife was lucky or maybe it was destiny that we would be couple at the end if not, her shakara was too much that pissed me off a lot.


But in all these, we still dated; officially for 2 years, unofficially for 4 years.....when I leave she will be the one to reconnect via Facebook chats or WhatsApp chats, especially during festive seasons, she must send me season greetings and ask how I was doing, which always got me confused and happy somehow lol. She was doing shakara but still giving me green light not to go that she likes me lol. She said her mind told her that I was a playboy that came to play her, so she was just scared of committing to me; I found out after we got married lol



So back to topic; if you are single guy, especially today, please and please, focus more on your finances; this is very important in having a successful marriage.....work work work work.....when I say work, not going around looking for job when you can't find one, if you cannot find a job, create one yourself. This is not impossible.....start something no matter how small......internet has even made it easier to start business today without any shop or office.....just have an online presence, find a business niche and be consistent and patient in your niche, it must pay off. Don't jump from one business to another just because some of your friends or people you know are making big money from it.....stay on your own lane and master it and be consistent.....and then have a clear vision of what you want, dream big oh......and always confess your heart desires without fear. Chase your dream.....while you lie down on the bed be visualizing what you want in life, I hardly sleep and it has become a part of me since teenage hood. This worked for me.


Working in an oil company or communication company or IT company or Bank or Telecom company or medical field or wherever is not the only way to be financially successful in life.....people are becoming rich from all fields of life, I am a living witness.....I have friends in virtually all fields of life and these guys are killing it money wise.....even in the things you despise and look down on.....I have a friend that's rich today through scrap recycling business......another in sound business......another in construction.....another in farming.......another in normal market trading business.....another is doing excellently well as a teacher, yes teacher......he now runs an online tutoring platform coupled with the fact that he owns a lot of physical tutorial centers in 2 different states.....so there is money in all fields of life, find a field and master it, dream big, introduce unique ideas into that field, monetize your new ideas.......multiply whatever that's working and keep doing it and you must be rich with time....remember success takes time. I started desiring to be rich from when I was a teenager lol....it may sound funny.....but while I was in higher institution, I was running businesses; extra morale classes for first year students, doing runs lol for WAEC, JAMB, etc students God forgive me, owned a call center, a photocopy center, game center......this was all as a student. I went for NYSC and launched a laptop selling business where I was serving and sold lots of laptops to fellow corpers lol



My whole point is, you need steady income to run a successful marriage today. But if you have done all your best and the money is not stabilizing the way you dream, please don't let it stop you from getting married.....but then, you must marry your friend to succeed in that situation if not, she will chicken out with time. Marry a lady that understand your vision in life, who also believes in your vision and efforts. Marry a lady who believes in time, who is also patient with life. Not all ladies are patient. Not all ladies believe that it will be better tomorrow, so don't marry such ladies......which brings us to communication during dating or courtship.....talk talk talk...don't keep mute around your partner while dating.



I have friends who married broke but today they are almost rich. Don't do this unless you have the inner conviction to do it, and like I said you must marry your friend to succeed in that condition and she must believe in you and time. Avoid lazy ladies....she may be working today but if you examine her, she is lazy. She maybe unemployed today, but if you examine her closely, she is not lazy.....avoid lazy, entitled, prideful and greedy ladies,they will frustrate your life.


Sometimes, marriage can bring you fortunes.....it can bring you luck, I don't use to believe in this, but ever since I got married, I started seeing my efforts yield more fruit than when I was single....and the moment we gave birth, it was as if my life entered a high speed.......things started working faster.......more results like its a charm lol.....I still give God all the glory.



Marriage is sweet if you marry the right person and if you prepare financially as a man. Don't have the mindset that you and your wife will share all bills....plan to cater for your family all by yourself and God will empower you for that....my wife works but I have never asked her to bring a dime for any of our family expenditure......not that this is ideal, but this is what every woman wishes for in life, even Billionaire Mrs Alakija wishes for this, and when you as their husband give them this, they will give you their best......but she must not hide her income from you, if she does, its a sign of worry. I know how much my wife earns even though she doesn't contribute, but sometimes I will jokingly tell her that I know she is planning to build a sky scrapper for her kids.....that its good....I also encourage her a lot to help her family members that stood by her while growing up....and to help people in need wherever she meets them with hesitation. But don't ever put your whole eyes on your wife's income if you want peace in your home, pray to God to empower you financially not to depend on your wife's income and you will enjoy peace in your marriage.



Before you marry, prepare financially....marriage today is financially draining if you want a standard family.....you can manage things also, but prepare, and tell God how you want your family or marriage to be, God is real oh, no let them fool you say there is no God, there is a supreme being above all humans oh.....I no be born again oh, but I tell you there is God. You don't even need much prayers to know your wife, just observe your inner piece and use your wisdom. If you are struggling financially, don't marry a jobless or unemployed lady, biko dont do it, its suicidal.



You see all those fashion designer ladies, they are good for marriage oh, that their handwork is good.....you can invest in her.....its far better than marrying an unemployed graduate lady hoping that she would secure job with Shell soon lol.....jobs don cast.



I am married but still feel like I am single.......no stress....my wife gives me freedom, peace of mind, space but she is also a monitoring spirit lol. The only thing she doesn't trust me with is beautiful ladies with big big ass because I love beautiful ladies with killer shape eh, na only that thing fit carry me go hell fire in case any of una see me for hell fire oh


and to the last part of your question, yes it remains....my wife didn't change.....in fact her love and care is even increasing to my fear lol.


Some ladies love more when they get married....so it all depends on the lady you married and how you take care of her.....but most importantly, marry a friendly lady with less baggage and keep working to have a steady income, it makes marriage sweet. Be positive and you will marry the best. I never imagined myself having marital issues while single....I use to ask friends then that why will I be fighting with my wife na.....that it cant happen and its what I am experiencing......and always encourage your wife to keep fit and watch how she eats......you must help her monitor her tummy, ugliness of a woman starts from the tummy, apology to all ladies struggling to keep their tummy flat, pls forgive my use of this word


As for house chores, I was lazy from childhood when it comes to house chores, that's the only reason my father flogged me then, but my mom always defended me then and I love her to pieces for all that she did for me then lol.


Even while single I hated house chores, it made me eat out often while in school to avoid washing plates and pots lol. So my wife know this before we got married and she never expected much from me and all thanks we have few domestic staffs that assist. But whenever I am around and in good mood then, I make her room bed lol, maybe dust her mirror stand, etc, but I bath and dress my little boy often (I cherish doing this one a lot)