Gm all...
Abeg make we laugh this morning
*Ndi Ara Juru Na Lagos*

I have been laughing since morning.

Bishops wan use laff wounjor me


Over packaging naa bad thing..

Today is exactly 10years I resigned from my lucrative job that was paying me as much as N200k monthly as of then and ran to Lagos because of an advert I saw on Guardian Newspaper..

"An international/multinational company in Lagos is looking for suitably qualified science and arts graduates to market it's Great brands in Nigeria.. Salary is a minimum of N400k and a vehicle will be provided.. bla bla bla"

I applied through their email as provided..

Before 2 hours.. I was replied.. You have qualified for the interview and final stage and was given one month to resign and come for the final stage of the interview..

That time.. I had this lady Boss in my office that never liked me.. I came next morning and arrogantly told her, "Folake, I am Done with this your MENIAL job.. you can now have my position for all I care"..

I resigned.. Next morning, entered Ekenedirichukwu first bus to Lagos!

People of Gawd.. I am still shaking my head as I write this..

I reached Lagos safely.. Next morning I was at the address.. A "container" shop with a small room they called a warehouse attached, somewhere around Okokomaiko.

9:30am.. one haggard and hungry looking man in a lemon Green unbalanced coat popped out.. the idiot said he got A Great news for us.. He announced to us that all of us who have managed to come for this interview have automatically qualified.. I looked round. Over 2000 people qualified to work where?? In this caravan abi naa container!! No interview.. no write this or that.. The Spirit to cry befell my Heart.. wahala be like okro soup.. e de draw!

The man said we should all clap for ourselves and sit down for lectures.. hmmmm.. people actually clapped.. Lagos children!.. Nothing scares them again.. people that clapped for Buhari and Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu.. what can't they clap for..
Ndi ara juru naa Lagos..

My left mind smiled and sarcastically clapped too for my right mind like, "well done.. next Time always look before you leap"..

These guys started telling us of how we can get a basket and load it with their range of products.. Then a bus will be provided.. azzin that's the vehicle to be given as stated in the advert.. A Mega phone attached to the bus to tell the people about the range of products. While we run around and meet prospective customers.. any of the soap, cream or "ogwu anwu nta" you sell.. you get N5!..

The man sounded soooooo happy announcing to us that we are rewarded instantly.. and the Great reward is N5 that I nearly fainted..
Fada Lawd.. why do bad thing always happen to Good people?

Aaaahh.. ahhh..
Am I dreaming?? From salary of 200k a month.. I am coming to look for N5.. am I dreaming or what??... Kedu udiri akuko di ihe a

The man continued.. as if he was in my mind.. you can sell 400 products a day and that's you making 200k a day.. That's 400k in two days.. so when we said salary of 400k a month.. it's an understatement.. you can see that you are worth N5m in 25 working days.. They clapped again.. even gave him standing ovation..

Ndi ara juru naa Lagos, I swear..

God imagine your Child.. running on foot selling these unknown creams and rubbish and making 200k a day.. I go don run enter Boko haram camp without knowing.. person fit follow the bus run.. run.. run.. soteeeeeh you run mad and you don't have any idea that you have run out of your senses!!

That was when tears rolled down my left eye.. I caught it with my kerchief.. my stomach just did kpurururrurru!!.. e be like shit de catch me.. my legs have not started running.. I am already having running stomach!

In about a minute.. I just saw myself sobbing.. my heart was just too heavy.. I needed to cry small for my Destiny.. ihe nke a, wu niini sef?? My nose was running too like a covid patient.

It was then it dawned on me to ask those around me their qualifications.. maybe I am at the wrong place.. maybe I read the wrong advert.. this must be for WAEC holders and bandits or miscreants!!!...

I asked the few around me.. This one said he has a HND in applied physics, the other OND in something laidat.. surprisingly, one said BSc Microbiology..i nearly fainted when the one by my side whispered to me that he has MBA marketing.. and he was listening to the junky man with rapt attention.. azzin he doesn't wanna loose this job!!

Imagine the kind of graduate jobs in Nigeria.. tufiakwa!!!

I just knelt down, took my phone and called Foluke.. "Biko..ejooor.. mbok.. I am sorry, that my position I said you should have, just keep am for me.. I am entering night bus now.. if you have another person there.. me and am go de share the salary like PDP vs APC sharing our loot and Natural resources..!!"

This was how a tusatusa company, carry sweet advert drag me come Lagos to add me to the list of ndi Ara juru naa Lagos!!!.. but I ran away!

Bishops Edwin

The woes and cry of job seeking Nigerian is really heartbreaking. My people, i sell external battery, inverter System that can power your laptop for between ten to twenty four hours, Tv and decoder for up to 9 hours, kindly recommend me to your friends and family.

HaaaaaaaaaaaasaaaaHaaaaa
Wahala for this job search.
Is well oo

Alejoas:
The woes and cry of job seeking Nigerian is really heartbreaking. My people, i sell external battery, inverter System that can power your laptop for between ten to twenty four hours, Tv and decoder for up to 9 hours, kindly recommend me to your friends and family.

Na God go help us ooo