My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad - Travel (4) - Nairaland
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| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Abali1(m): 1:41pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
Na wa for Naijas wey dey yankee and UK. I have been reading all the post fromguys abroad and all I can say is HUMANS ARE A PECULIAR BEING. I thank God that I have not been in a condition/situation as to start seeking for help from others to the point of being a pest, whether they are in Naija or Abroad. I have so many of my class mates in the secondary school(I dnt think I regard them as friends anyway) who live abroad(US, UK, Canada,etc) when these guys are in Naija they always stay close to me cos am a giver (and I thank God for that) and when we discuss about some of the pple we know that have traveled abroad who stopped communicating, you shld see these guys swearing that if God favour them and the get the opportunity to travel abroad they will never forget their friends (maybe these were lips service cos they know I have too much at stake in Nig as to bother thinking of going abroad to live/ or it was said out of ignorance of the living conditions abroad). But once they move abroad they will do exactly as those b4 them have done. So my second year in the UNI, once I hear any of my "so called friends" have traveled out of the country I will be the one to severe contacts with them, pending when they get back to Naija either for visit or to stay put. Surprisingly when they get back or about to come back you see them sending mail either on FB or Yahoo asking for my contacts. @OP, it is unfortuante for you that you have only PEST as friends in Naija. @ the rest of the people living in the west there are so many people in Naija who don't give a shyte about the stipend you earn and call it money. Let me ask; How many refugees aka immigrants abroad can confidently come back home to Naija and spend more than two months without getting desperate? Please understand that the fact you were "favored" to leave Naija for Europe or US does not qualify you to look down on those Unfortunate enof to ask for your help. A simple yes or No will suffice. Stop bragging about helping people or having people beg you. 1 Like |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by armyofone(m): 2:03pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
@Abali i don't think anyone is bragging  they are trying to say the demand is just too much and unending.you know, they hang around you because you don't demand from them  ask for money and see if they will ask after you on fb/mail/yahoo |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by dayokanu(m): 2:06pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
armyofone:  I stayed up all night waiting for you to buzz me and you didnt all night |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Nobody: 2:15pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
| My biggest challage is just the food , i misssssssssss EBA and correct Nigerian soups that goes along with it, |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by DisGuy: 2:21pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
with all te garri and egusi, ewedu, okro in europe is it that you cant prepare it like iya basira or you cant get to the african shops |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Abali1(m): 2:21pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
^^^ I read all of three pages before summarizing the whole the whole thing as bragging. Someone was even asking why guys living in Naija are not commenting. Yes I don't beg them and truely I have no need to beg them. Like a popular saying goes, friends are a dime a dozen. Honestly I won't be surprised if some the guys posting here were in the habit of begging prior to living the country. Yes, things are bad in the country. Yes, people will beg you if they perceive you are better off. But please a simple yes or no will do the trick. I believe the OP already made up his mind on what to do before posting the topic, was there any need for him to feel justified by what other people have to say. Someone even said that even if the person begging him is on his death bed he wouldn't help. Okay, no problem. It's just that i feel pity for those disturbing them. Truth be said, most Naija guys abroad don't make much, and even the money they make goes into paying for utilities. In Naija here I have seen guys make millions and use those millions to help the less privileged yet you will not hear anything about it. If it is hard for you to help others no qualms, afterall it's your sweat. But please don't make noise about it as if every person that comes to you for help(genuine or otherwise) is less of a human being. |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by justwise(m): 2:34pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
Abali1:Its also true to point out that those utilities they pay means: Constant electricity, water, health care, security, education. .the list go on and on, so what u called 'little' interms of salary is actually alot. Many Nigerians living abroad also do charities that u don't know, maybe u need to be abit balanced in ur criticism |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Akan(m): 2:41pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
@ Abali am sorry but u are talking trash. Nobody is generalising here, most of the comments here have been based on personal experiences. Yes we pay bills in the West and reap the benefits thereof like someone has already mentioned. A lot of Nigerian Millionaires will refuse to pay common tax and then blame to govt for bad roads etc |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by princeonx: 2:49pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
@Abali: poverty they say is a disease so just thank your God that you have and don't need to ask no one. On the other hand I won't call it poverty because some of this people that ask for this things are better than we here in the US or UK. Imagine someone asking you to buy them a $700 cell phone! that is mortgage for some people. Do you think most people do two jobs for fun? If all you have is N5M ($35,000) in Nigeria and I have $3,500 only in the US, ten people would've called, email, or flashed me which I so much hate for money before even asking you. If you tell them you don't have, they'll leave you alone while if I do that I'll keep hearing abeg na! you're my only hope! abeg abeg abeg! and as far as they are concern you have a box filled with $$$$$ at home.As for these guys asking of you when they plan visiting is maybe to catch up with old time or someone to hang with not to ask you for money or anything but am sure you will accept a gift from them if they send/give one. Also, while you in Nigeria have only 5 or 10 friends here to call, we here have 200 friends, 200 uncles/aunt who expect us to call them and 90% of them what something from you in addition to the money you already spent calling them. All we are trying to say is that its too much! you don't think everyone here is just saying the same thing for talking sake do you? And eventhough some of us come home to show off as some call it! some of the things you consider show off are simply everyday's nnecessityhere. I do my shopping here at very good stores so I won't be suprise if my jean look better than yours eventhough they both say "Lee or Levi" I have to have a car because I need it to get around! it will be a show-off if I pass your street blasting very loud music, the generator can cry all night as long as their is power. Do you know that people in naija who have equivalent or even less than what some here in the US or UK have show off more? you might not notice it because you live and see them everyday. An uncle asked me for N700,000 to start up a business and when I told him I don't have, the man said it to my face that "you don't have money yet you're building a house both in the village and in Lagos at the same time" this same man will recall how long I have lived in the US if I wasn't building this house if need be. Make we just leave this topic alone! everyone to him own! |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by InHim4Him(m): 4:14pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
Don't lose sleep. It is not just because you are abroad, rather your environment is bringing a fundamental problem to the fore. You have a responsibility to be honest with yourself and to desire which direction your life should go rather than seeking to please everybody, something that God who made heaven and earth has not succeeded in doing. I said it is not just about being abroad, rather it is because you have a source of income and some people think they can and should take advantage of your goodness. Look at the following picture: " I am a christian minister and make effort to look out for the poor and hungry to feed, educate those who cannot otherwise. I have an aged mother of whom I have cared for since Our father died. Because I provide sufficiently for my mother, my brothers ages 24, 34 and 45 refuse to work. Even when they do, they cannot keep track of their income nor the expenditure, because whatever happens, mama will cook for them and their friends. Once mama was sick and could not go to the market and cooked rice that she had at home, the brothers refused the food because it was not "swallow". My response: I cut off sending money seeing that all my previous talk was not getting us anywhere. I became everybody's enemy, including my married sister who is earning a salary as a teacher and the husband a technician wants me to foot the fees for her part-time studies. I have two children in the higher institution, a minister wife with many travels, and other bills to pay. I had to ask myself who do I want to please? Men or God? Is it right to let my brothers loaf? At the end of the day I told my brothers mama is their responsibility, yet each time I have opportunity to be present I give mama such things as are necessary for her upkeep while making sure she is adequately housed and maintained health-wise". |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by princeonx: 4:22pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
prince_onx: |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by buzugee(m): 5:22pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
my biggest challenge is eating fresh credible nigerian food. all the naija restaurants abroad cook crap food.  i also miss credible suya, although there is this guy in chicago who sells something called kilishi. it tastes exactly like suya. |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Effiko(m): 6:30pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
mayb u shld take a break 4rm sending cash home, mayb if u stop 4 lyk 4mnths , dem go code sai 'NO SHOW' IF NT U SEF NA HUNGER GO START WIT U |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by darkman200: 7:26pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
dayokanu: Hey man, i noticed u are in McKinney TX, i live in Murphy close to Richardson but i don't know many Nigerians around, the 1 or 2 i know live in Arlington and Grand Prairie, too far for me, it would be nice to know you guys and be able to socialize |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by dayokanu(m): 7:33pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
darkman200: When did you get to Richardson TX? I am no longer in McKinney, More like Mid Cities DFW. Do you work and live in Richardson? |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by buzugee(m): 7:41pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
all you backwood, tobacci chewing, cornbread and collard green chomping, country bumpkin tegzaz negros sef i bet yall wear sombrero with your agbadas |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by darkman200: 7:51pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
dayokanu: I have been there for 3 years, moved down from Seattle, i work in west Texas, midland/Odessa, am gone to the field for about 3 weeks then back home for just a week ,that's my job rotation and that's the main reason why i don't know people cuz am mostly out of town, and i can't live in west Texas, there is nothing there. how long have you been in DFW? |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by buzugee(m): 7:55pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
matta fact, the south can suck on deezzzzzzz nutzzzzzzzzzz |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by dayokanu(m): 7:56pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
darkman200: Been in DFW less than a yr. But I move around a lot been in Granp Prairie-Arlington, Addison, Irving, HEB(Hurst-Euless-bedford) area If you are a Xtian whenever you are home you can attend any Redeemed church cos thats where Naija socialize. If you are not married you might want to check out some clubs around Addison |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by darkman200: 8:09pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
dayokanu: Where is your Church at? |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by muyiserra1(m): 8:10pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
Yeah it so sad, that family members from niaja fails to understands, europe, america life is very difficult best solution is to change ur number n ignore them cos they even enjoy more than u dat send the money! Sombody was comparing me to my uncle that has been in the UK for almost 15year dat he got estate in niaja what i am doing, Somtimes it sad, it just like death, i believe that wen sombody dies, he sees us n understand tins better that he or she tries to transmit to u but couldn't. It so sad, nigerian please be wise n know that u guys there are even having a better life than us here, What bout those paying first fruit( donating ur whole january salary to the church) in niaja, come those of u abroad has any of u ever does somtin like these, these y i keep saying life in niaja is so easy, that u can pay first fruit, tithe n so on |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by darkman200: 8:11pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
dayokanu: Last time i was in a Redeem Church, very large in size but there were about 8 people in attendance on a sunday, it is the main church in Garland |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by dayokanu(m): 8:13pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
Many Nigerians dont live in those areas, Try Plano-Frisco. There is a Redeemed church in Plano, But the biggest should be in the Arlington-GrandPrairie Axis I go to anyone |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by darkman200: 8:28pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
ok thx |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Chib4u: 8:39pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
Ok people this is the message i got, not from a family member but from a family friend and not a close one but thanks to FB we talk sometimes. I haven't replied yet cuz i really do not know how to reply this guy. The this is the first time line is what pissed me off the most . Am just going to copy and paste. "big bro sorry 2 bug you, you know this is the first time i am actually asking you 4 a favour. pls i was woundering if you could help me get a very goodlaptop and a very good fone.and may b coperate wears.thanks.since i am serving in fedex i could recievev it through them. say me well to you beauty. thanks waiting to hear from you. " |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by muyiserra1(m): 9:47pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
yeah coperate wear, nice phone, laptop these all the care bout and so selfish of them to know that here it not as easy as they tot it seem! |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Abali1(m): 10:12pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
Hey guys, I do understand that life is hard over there. My point is still that a simple Yes or No could solve all this wahala. From most of the posts here it seems that the problem is trying to please others even when it is difficult for you to do so. Most of you will agree with me that the way some of you guys spend their life saving when on vacation in Naija is the cause of some the pestering. Ok, am sorry for generalising or saying that the OP is making noise. But I still believe that as a human you cannot satisfy all people, with that in mind why not do what you can and refuse to do more. Someone said that both of us may buy the same levi jeans but his will be better cos he visit some of the best shops over there. My question to him is; how is he sure that I don’t order my wears from abroad or even visit from time to time. Please guys learn to give alms (or not give) without letting others know about it. My experience is that whether you help someone or not that person will still survive. I live my life following the goals I have laid out for myself and not because some Uncles or aunties or relations want to compare me with my mates. I don’t give a damn about whatever standard/goals others have attained (afterall am not exposed to the same experience they have had). |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Saecula: 11:06pm On Apr 22, 2011 |
Abali1:@ABALI, WELDONE, In the book of Genesis, the Lord saw that the contents of man's heart was evil continually and he regretted why he made man. Sometimes we are just unreasonably obtuse. We feign ignorance of what is very clear and perspicuous. We pontificate as though we have never asked anyone of help before. As for the poster, it is as if he has preconditioned his mind and has concluded on what to do before seeking help. I was stupefied at some of the rejoinders. Some went to the extent of advising him to cut off all contacts. One even said that he wouldn't help even if the person were on a sick bed. This sort of counsel indubitably must have come from hell. I wonder where our scruples have gone. The bottom line is that life is comparatively difficult especially at these times. What I suppose one should do is to draw a line between 'need and want'. A person asking you to send him a phone worth $700, probably may want it but doesn't need it. The fact that some of us have gone too materialistic and insincere doesn't mean that everyone is like that. We must also know that nobody is immune to deception. That a person you helped called you a fool doesn't mean that you are one. Afterall, didn't you help in the first place because of God? Finally, whatever you do in this world NEVER you forget your family, especially your immediate one. Because they would be the ones to assist and stand by you should you have any problem in life. when bad friends must have deserted you. Au revoir. |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by rosefleurs: 3:39am On Apr 23, 2011 |
OP, Be careful cutting people off cold-turkey. Since you're been doing this a while, you might want to ease your way out of it gradually. Imagine if the first time you refuse to be the revolving door bank, turns out to be the day someone drops dead cause they couldn't buy their heart medicine? True story. Haven't been able to say "No" since.  |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by softtouch2(m): 4:31am On Apr 23, 2011 |
Demands are not limited to Nigerian in diaspora, even in Nigeria here at home , when people access you as been better-off than they, demand for money will follow. Because of my nature of job here in Nigeria, I tried to help few in my little capacity without draining my pocket so much. But I thank God, my Family & Siblings never mount pressure on me at any time, sometimes they even refuse to ask, it was me that noticed their needs and offer a hand to them. My problem so far has been from FRIENDS (from Primary sch, Secondary Sch & Higher Institution), It has gotten to a stage of avoiding MANY of faces (especially friends) I knew in the past, their demands will bankrupt any bank in Nigeria. I have helped some, but my experience is not a good one, and I don't wish anyone to experience what I have being through. I have seen jealousy fueled by seeing the comfort of my house, my work & my Family. I just have to start blocking some of them; on FB, yahoo Messenger and Blocking their number from calling my line. |
| Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by stmarc32(m): 5:56am On Apr 23, 2011 |
Best advise is look at the pros and cons of everything, If it's something important do what u can about it without causing constraints to yourself , remember ajo o da bi le |
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