Marriage to some is an end but in the real sense of it, marriage is just another means to several ends. Why did I say that? I said that because people get married for a lot of reasons such as; to share love, to have children who will continue the family lineage, to find happiness, to consolidate financially among a host of reasons. But I discovered in my eight years of marriage that for whatever reason you get married if it stems from selfishness that marriage is heading for the rocks.

Here are some tips that I discovered on my journey through the road called marriage:

1.Have a goal. Both parties should have a goal for various aspects of their lives. These could include personal goals, financial goals, spiritual goals and even combined goals. These goals will the couple know where to channel energy and time in their marriage so they do not get distracted by frivolous things. For example, when I got married, I didn't have a goal just wanted a happy home but this seemed like an illusion until my husband and I sat down and realigned. I can hit my chest and say that a lot of good has come out of that meeting.

2. Be financially capable. Gone are the days when all financial responsibilities were left for the men. Nowadays, society is too much of a burden to bear for just one person. So to maintain and sustain a marriage both persons have to be financially stable because love won't pay the bills. https:///4ku7nwyf

3. Try to own your home ASAP. Those who live in urban areas can attest to the fact that rent gulps a large portion of their income. Both parties should work together to own their own home within the first 10 years of marriage. This may seem like a huge task but with a plan, it can be achieved and this will help to lift off a heavy financial burden in the marriage.

4. Live within your means. This may sound cliche but it is a very true and helpful advice when taken to heart. Do not allow external pressure to deter you from your goal. I know how it feels to want to impress others but in the long run "Who e epp?"

5. Let each party be willing to listen and reason out matters. Remove bias and prejudice and listen with an open mind. Sometimes we feel we already know our partner so well that we can speak for them. This is usually not the best. Each person is a valuable part of the system and should be given a voice. This habit is one that should be extended to the children so that their self-confidence can be built up.

6. Try not to increase your expenditure exponentially within a short while. Grow steadily. During the course of the marriage, there are bound to be times when your incomes grow fast and in those times we may be tempted to show off. Remember that there would be times of dryness in the future and the best way to prepare is to save for the rainy day. So at every point in your marriage, do not carry more than you can handle because there was a windfall from either an increase in salary or a boom in business.

7. Encourage continuous intellectual growth e.g learn a new skill yearly. Humans are continually growing. Our world is changing at an alarming speed and if you do not try to keep up, you could find yourself lost. So update yourself. Further your education or like I said in the opening learn a skill because you never know where it might take you. I am able to meet up with my own share of the responsibilities at home because I learnt a skill. https:///yswktsxw

8. Avoid violence. There will be times when the home will be too hot for comfort. At such times be willing to walk away for peace. You don't have to be right always. Women avoid talking back during heated arguments. Men resist the urge to raise your hands on your wife. Cut the verbal abuse on each other
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10. Be active in your local community. When you are active you generate a lot of goodwill and this will save you when you need it most. Be nice.

11. Be prayerful and pray together daily. It is said that there are three people in a marriage; God, husband and wife. Always go back to your spiritual fountain for a refill so you do not dry out.

12. Pursue peace with extended family members. This cannot be overemphasized. Although Nollywood has tried to paint in-laws black, we always win with love.

13. Learn to pray and play. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Learn to have g=fun together. After the play then you pray.

14. Practice meditation. Having regular times for meditation helps to relieve and reduce stress. Meditation helps to channel and focus your energy on important things which leaves you having less time for more trivial things.

15. Take time to unwind. This is to buttress the fact that play is as essential for adults as it is for children.

You may have more points that have worked for your marriage or the marriage of those around you. Please share I'll love to learn from you all.