Hi guys,

pls I'm seeking the advice/ input of Christian folks on this matter especially those who by chance/grace got married to their partners while observing Biblical rules of celibacy.

Is this actually a possibility bearing in mind how the flesh is 'weak'.

Now from my perspective, I've been able to activate a very good form of self-control against vices such as Indecency and masturbation. I indulged in both previously alongside sex.

Well thanks be to God for mercy and grace I am currently on a celibate journey, the strength comes from my desire to get deeper in the things of the spirit, doing what God delights in. Knowing fully well how much he hates Sexual iniquity.

Now I also find out that my desire for purity is also keeping me away from having a functional relationship with the opposite sex. I don't trust myself going into a relationship and not having sex or getting intimate.

Don't get it wrong, I am jovial as hell, I live comfortably, I was without a relationship for a while before my salvation, now I am finding it 'difficult to get into intimate friendship, knowing fully well my self-control will be greatly tested if there is a partner in the picture.

Makes me think, for someone who is not a virgin, how did you do it? How can one be in a relationship/courtship and still be bound by biblical laws?

For it to be so, both of you must have the same measure of commitment to the things of God.

Mmm
I got married as a vigin... It's not easy I tell you.. The temptation is not here, especially if you a student of Nekede lol... There's why they are called NEKEDE.

From experience, you need more than determination, character and discipline... You need God to help you... There's a reason why Jesus taught us to pray "Lead us not into temptation"

though I was a bit disappointed at the night of wedding, I got married to a vigin too... That night I wondered, was this what most people are killing themselves to have... ​But I was happy I did it for myself not for any man to see me as a gold medal.

Celibacy among other things will help you gather less gadbage into marriage... As a Christian the word is purity not celibacy... Purity is to please God with your heart, mind, body, soul and spirit while celibacy is just abstinence...

I believe if you are not willing to settle down anytime soon no need for relationship, so that you don't lead yourself into temptation, you could have friends instead...

JahBwoy:
Hi guys,

pls I'm seeking the advice/ input of Christian folks on this matter especially those who by chance/grace got married to their partners while observing Biblical rules of celibacy.

Is this actually a possibility bearing in mind how the flesh is 'weak'.

Now from my perspective, I've been able to activate a very good form of self-control against vices such as Indecency and masturbation. I indulged in both previously alongside sex.

Well thanks be to God for mercy and grace I am currently on a celibate journey, the strength comes from my desire to get deeper in the things of the spirit, doing what God delights in. Knowing fully well how much he hates Sexual iniquity.

Now I also find out that my desire for purity is also keeping me away from having a functional relationship with the opposite sex. I don't trust myself going into a relationship and not having sex or getting intimate.

Don't get it wrong, I am jovial as hell, I live comfortably, I was without a relationship for a while before my salvation, now I am finding it 'difficult to get into intimate friendship, knowing fully well my self-control will be greatly tested if there is a partner in the picture.

Makes me think, for someone who is not a virgin, how did you do it? How can one be in a relationship/courtship and still be bound by biblical laws?

focus on building your spirit man and those fleshly desires will die off.
I presume you may be a new Christian, it is important for you to focus on spiritual growth that is the only way you can overcome.
Keep your spirit man engaged in these activities below,

1. Spend time in reading, studying, and mediating on the word of God.

Psalms 119:9
Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.


2. Offer praise to God through songs, hymns and other means.
Psalms 77:12
I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.

3. Attend church regularly where you could fellowship with fellow belivers and share in the faith and virtue.

Hebrews 10:25
Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

4. Spend time in prayer.
Ephesians 6:18
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;


5. Engage yourself in soul winning.

Mark 16:15
And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.

livingchrist:
focus on building your spirit man and those fleshly desires will die off.
I presume you may be a new Christian, it is important for you to focus on spiritual growth that is the only way you can overcome.
Keep your spirit man engaged in these activities below,

1. Spend time in reading, studying, and mediating on the word of God.

Psalms 119:9
Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.


2. Offer praise to God through songs, hymns and other means.
Psalms 77:12
I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.

3. Attend church regularly where you could fellowship with fellow belivers and share in the faith and virtue.

Hebrews 10:25
Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

4. Spend time in prayer.
Ephesians 6:18
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;


5. Engage yourself in soul winning.

Mark 16:15
And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.

Thank you. I'm not a new Christian per se. The deliverance however has been gradual. But I know we'll enough how to counter the flesh coming from a place of gross violation of God's commandments against immorality.

However I do believe it takes more than knowledge and fellowship of Christ to hold out against desires when somebody is in the picture/in a relationship.. not long distance. Hence I'm looking for practical experience and steps from people who have faced and overcame such temptations.

Shalom

vickydankal:
Mmm
I got married as a vigin... It's not easy I tell you.. The temptation is not here, especially if you a student of Nekede lol... There's why they are called NEKEDE.

From experience, you need more than determination, character and discipline... You need God to help you... There's a reason why Jesus taught us to pray "Lead us not into temptation"

though I was a bit disappointed at the night of wedding, I got married to a vigin too... That night I wondered, was this what most people are killing themselves to have... ​But I was happy I did it for myself not for any man to see me as a gold medal.

Celibacy among other things will help you gather less gadbage into marriage... As a Christian the word is purity not celibacy... Purity is to please God with your heart, mind, body, soul and spirit while celibacy is just abstinence...

I believe if you are not willing to settle down anytime soon no need for relationship, so that you don't lead yourself into temptation, you could have friends instead...

Thanks for this. I really appreciate

JahBwoy:

Thank you. I'm not a new Christian per se. The deliverance however has been gradual. But I know we'll enough how to counter the flesh coming from a place of gross violation of God's commandments against immorality.

However I do believe it takes more than knowledge and fellowship of Christ to hold out against desires when somebody is in the picture/in a relationship.. not long distance. Hence I'm looking for practical experience and steps from people who have faced and overcame such temptations.

Shalom

What you desire is to cease being a slave to your desires and what Jesus Christ declared as the only way to freeing yourself from sin(disobedience) is to embrace obedience. How? Only by accepting (trusting) and obeying His teachings/commandments, the Truth of God.

Since you are not a new Christian, then you should know that Jesus Christ is the New Covenant, the Law, as far as the Kingdom of God is concerned. And it is only by submitting to His teachings, the Law, in obedience that one is able to overcome sin, abide in Him and accomplish all that He has commanded of His followers.

The teachings of Jesus Christ are documented in the 4 Gospels (Matthew , Mark, Luke, and John) and in there you find completely defined, the details necessary for you to know the Truth and have the Truth set you free from the clutches of sin as Jesus Christ declared it would in John 8.

Kobojunkiee:
What you desire is to cease being a slave to your desires and what Jesus Christ declared as the only way to freeing yourself from sin(disobedience) is to embrace obedience. How? Only by accepting (trusting) and obeying His teachings/commandments, the Truth of God.

Since you are not a new Christian, then you should know that Jesus Christ is the New Covenant, the Law, as far as the Kingdom of God is concerned. And it is only by submitting to His teachings, the Law, in obedience that one is able to overcome sin, abide in Him and accomplish all that He has commanded of His followers.

The teachings of Jesus Christ are documented in the 4 Gospels (Matthew , Mark, Luke, and John) and in there you find completely defined, the details necessary for you to know the Truth and have the Truth set you free from the clutches of sin as Jesus Christ declared it would in John 8.

Well said. But do you have practical experience in the above described scenario ... Pls share

JahBwoy:

Well said. But do you have practical experience in the above described scenario ... Pls share

Before I came to know God, I practiced self control and was able to avoid committing known sin for a period but there is a toll that that takes on the mental and it is not a healthy one at that. The other problem with that is that while you are focused on not committing the important "sins", you end up, unaware of other sins because your attention is elsewhere much of the time.

The cost, as I mentioned, is high on the human mind since your mind is continually operating at a pace that is hard to sustain over extended period. So, I would never recommend this to anyone who is seriously looking to gain freedom from sin.

After I came to know God, and through following God's prompting and teachings, I learnt of sin, and what God in fact consider sin, and as I obeyed His commandments, the Spirit of Truth Himself, Jesus Christ, came and took over, teaching me His truth and helping me obey His commandment by expanding my understanding of His Word.

Before long, I realized that I had long stopped monitoring myself for sins, with my focus instead turned to obeying God's command all the time. This barely takes a toll since there is also a burning desire to obey God's commandment ,instead of an urge or temptation to sin.
Temptation to sin now feels now like a dirty inconvenience more than it does an appealing urge.

What Jesus Christ said is true...the only way to be free bondage to sin is to know His Truth and His Truth will set one free if one continues to trust and obey His teachings and commandments.

Kobojunkiee:
Before I came to know God, I practiced self control and was able to avoid committing known sin for a period but there is a toll that that takes on the mental and it is not a healthy one at that. The other problem with that is that while you are focused on not committing the important "sins", you end up, unaware of other sins because your attention is elsewhere much of the time.

The cost, as I mentioned, is high on the human mind since your mind is continually operating at a pace that is hard to sustain over extended period. So, I would never recommend this to anyone who is seriously looking to gain freedom from sin.

After I came to know God, and through following God's prompting and teachings, I learnt of sin, and what God in fact consider sin, and as I obeyed His commandments, the Spirit of Truth Himself, Jesus Christ, came and took over, teaching me His truth and helping me obey His commandment by expanding my understanding of His Word.

Before long, I realized that I had long stopped monitoring myself for sins, with my focus instead turned to obeying God's command all the time. This barely takes a toll since there is also a burning desire to obey God's commandment ,instead of an urge or temptation to sin.
Temptation to sin now feels now like a dirty inconvenience more than it does an appealing urge.

What Jesus Christ said is true...the only way to be free bondage to sin is to know His Truth and His Truth will set one free if one continues to trust and obey His teachings and commandments.

Not exactly what I asked. But thanks anyway

JahBwoy:

Not exactly what I asked. But thanks anyway

What was it that you expected me to expand on then?

Kobojunkiee:
What was it that you expected me to expand on then?

I wanted to know in practical terms if you've been in a scenario where you practiced purity in a relationship preferably that led to marriage

JahBwoy:

I wanted to know in practical terms if you've been in a scenario where you practiced purity in a relationship preferably that led to marriage

Ok...I see what you are trying to ask now.

So, what I am telling you is that what you call "purity" is nothing but self-control and you don't need to know God to practice that since even unbelievers practice it. There are many cultures that suggest self control of that sort and all of them have nothing to do with God too.

I did practice "purity" for a long period, while I was still an unbeliever, and I can tell you it was simply torture in every sense of the word. And I learned when I became a believer that it was meaningless torture too since "purity" has nothing to do with that which God in fact commanded - man's traditions are not of God. What disappointment me the most was to learn that all that torture did not score me any points with God at the end of the day - He is honored only when we obey His own commandments/rules.

Again, my recommendation is that you shift your focus instead back to God and the relationship you have with Him, rather than your human relationships. Work at strengthening your communion with God with all your heart, mind, body and soul, learning what He commands of you, submitting in complete obedience to His teachings and commandments.
The work done ensuring your relationship with God will aide your human relationships and eventually your marriage relationship. Your relationship with God should be priority in your life no matter what, after all, it is God that all your sins are directly against, not man.