Righteousness2:
Calm Down bro..
According to you, she changed after Pregnancy.
Just see it like the things that come with pregnancy. Some ladies could be very unbecoming when they are pregnant.
So stay calm and do the best you can.

My broke married brother, take this advice OK.It Shall be well with u

i just dey laugh since

this post funny me die

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

atimes before u make any move aknowledge God. That woman is bigger than u and she can be married spiritually. Go and ask her parent who truely she is, for her actions changing so sudden and of the truth u are afraid of her that was why i said she is stronger than u spiritually dont go to prayer huz u will make the matter worst go to God in prayer start praying night around 12 to discover who she is but be wise.

You guys are not really helping the young man at all!!!!!!. The most tangible advice I have seen here are from her fellow women ( with F as gender ) who should advice his wife better.

All these men shouting endure , pregnant women are wired and all that rabatash. Cannot endure what he is going through now. I can bet my.... On that.
Pregnancy changes women mood sometimes but not to the extent of bitting her husband , wounding him and calling him unprinted and unpredictable names. Marriage nah world war 4 ni?

I understand a pregnant woman eating wired foods but I don't understand beating and wounding.
I understand a pregnant woman wanting to smell her husband's excrete but I don't understand bitting and wounding.
I understand a pregnant woman sending her husband out to buy her a particular delicacy and latter changing her choice immediately but gentlemen and ladies I still don't understand bitting, slapping brutally abusing the man. For what nah?

I have seen some pregnant women as much as 6 months still selling small small things just to support her husband. I even saw one today at Afo market grabbing palm kernel from a customer who came to sell. Those ones fell from heaven ba? Abi there pregnancy is fake? A friend of mine went to her shop a day before she delivered a bouncing baby girl and she just pour the pikin like the Hebrew women.

OP I understand what you are going through now but you have to realise that your marriage is on a very faulty foundation. You couldn't even afford money for bride price oh , and the medical condition you stated and went ahead to marry in this current nice economy of Nigeria.
The lady in question was super desperate for marriage , played her game and it worked on you like magic. Having acquired the hallowed status of MRS, and even have baby on top, you can't go away for now. I am in the line and I can tell you the legal implications of running away. If she takes you to court, the is when your problem will begin officially.

Pray hard and work even more harder. Don't forget the first advice. May sure you visit a good church every morning and lie down flat in the alter and cry your heart to God. After that immediately proceed to work , visit some NGOs and explain your problem but don't beg them for money, just take their advice.
And before I forget , start making plans to pay her bride price. Bride price is more spiritual than you can imagine.

Come back here later and give your testimony.

Advice to men, make sure you are financially stable to an extent before you marry to avoid coming to Nairaland for advice.

Goodluck bro

We all are facing one thing or the other. believe me when i say people have seen worse. Just keep holding your own. God will intervene as long as you working hard.

Besides the fact that I think this story is concocted heavily, please leave your wife alone. She is pregnant for Christ's sake.

How can a woman in her second trimester follow you to the farm under this terrible weather. Most first pregnancies are associated with pregnancy-induced hypertension, and here you are wanting her to work like she has nothing going on.

Just let her be and be sure that you are not hitting her. You are a suspect with all these insensitive trash you have been vomiting here

Righteousness2:
Calm Down bro..
According to you, she changed after Pregnancy.
Just see it like the things that come with pregnancy. Some ladies could be very unbecoming when they are pregnant.
So stay calm and do the best you can.

I taught u have a Bible verse for everything. Thank God.

Nnamebuka:

Hey I've read from the very first page to the current one and I empathize with you sincerely. Most especially because of your health challenge which contributes to your poverty. You seem to me like a graduate or at least an intelligent first school leaver. Whatever the case academic intelligence is useless if it cool not be deployed in critical thinking and reasoning so as to benefit our over all existence. What are my trying to say? Take myself for example; I got married last year June. I have a job that carters for my need and I dare say even for a reasonable life of profligacy. My wife is currently searching for job but we are good over all. However, we both made conscious decision to wait for at least after a year before childbearing. We needed to get to know ourselves deeply to consolidate on our love, get to understand each other very well, quarrel, settle, and plan for future offspring. Now I tell you if my wife becomes pregnant tomorrow and started acting irrationally I would not be left wondering that was actually her character or the her condition that necessitates that. This is because I have known her overtime and could make excuses for her without thinking twice.

You made the first huge mistake getting married unprepared and even huger mistake putting your wife in the family way without recourse to your present financial condition. This begs the question, why the rush? Why would you put too much stress on your life in this way? It's baffling frankly speaking.

I currently have so much project on hand, however drop your account details here let me send a widow's might.

Thank you so much for this.

I will mention you with my details on another thread cos I don't want people to start thinking I post this because of money.

thanks again

udoji2021:


Don't be quick to judge Sir, Let me ask you.

Can you fold your hands and recieve beatings from your wife?



Can you allow your wife to send u out the room in the night?


Can you allow your to sleeping while u go to the farm, cook, wash her cloths and all?





I did all this and more for peace to reign.

My friend shut up..... If U harm that poor pregnant gir,I send u to jail. U knew were neither ready or capable, yet u went ahead to marry Her.U don't love that girl,otherwise, will work hard,get stable financially, before marrying her.

olabrinks:
You never see anything yet, wait till that child comes and starts crying all night. Marriage is not for the weak

peacettw:
Besides the fact that I think this story is concocted heavily, please leave your wife alone. She is pregnant for Christ's sake.

How can a woman in her second trimester follow you to the farm under this terrible weather. Most first pregnancies are associated with pregnancy-induced hypertension, and here you are wanting her to work like she has nothing going on.

Just let her be and be sure that you are not hitting her. You are a suspect with all these insensitive trash you have been vomiting here

suspect

how sir, if you read through my previous posts, you will understand that she stop going to the farm since even before the pregnancy was 3months. and I never meant she should be following me to the farm but at least she can cook and keep for me cos I'm usually tired when I'm back.

I swear to God, I can never beat someone's daughter talkless of the one I didn't even pay a dime on her head. trust me brother, all I want from her is her understanding and above all, she should stop hitting me as if I'm a kid.

ericquien:
My friend shut up..... If U harm that poor pregnant gir,I send u to jail. U knew were neither ready or capable, yet u went ahead to marry Her.U don't love that girl,otherwise, will work hard,get stable financially, before marrying her.

Don't take this personal, how I wish you are someone in or around Benue state so that you can personally confirm what I'm saying.

As for not been capable, she knew it before the marriage so I don't understand why the change of behavior now

Most pregnant women change and act crazily. So, bear with her she definitely return to normal.
When the baby is born, good things will start to happen in your life.
This time,you need good friends around you.
With God,you will be okay.

***Nor mind some advice here.
Nigeria is toxic!
So,most of her citizens are toxic too.
Most people are failures and in pains,so dem go tell you wetin go pain you the more to be like them.

My brother,I want to believe she is still the same woman you married but you know pregnancy is about changes and raging hormones and it works differently for different women,all you need is to understand that she is not totally in control for what she does,if you understand this,it will help you endure this phase,some women become very weak n lazy during pregnancy,some become very irritable and aggressive, different shades for different people kinda thing,so calm down, understand,pray,love and support ur wife at this time,dtz y marriage is for matured people,all d best

udoji2021:


U will not understand what is Happening. Thanks though

People always blame pregnancy for a woman bad character & stupid attitude, was our mother not pregnant? Many women today are so lazy, what they do is put-a-good-show, get what they want, then back to default settings. People don't change they only get tired of pretending. We always talk about money money money, can't someone begin life with a girl and grow with her? Dangote that has all the money yet he is devorce twice, so what's the excuse? Too much money? My opinion to you bro. You need to develop patience & tolerance, Don't bother advising her, its pointless, she knows she had you. Don't quarrel or respond to any of her nagging. Do and provid what you can. Think of ur work & and the pregnancy. Learn what this moment is teaching you cus it will help ur next move after child birth or you fall for her fake tears when time comes.

udoji2021:


Thank you.

But I believe the rich also have their problem. Legend has it that their problem is even bigger than that of an average person.

I just pray you should live comfortably with no problem for all the days of your life.

Thanks again

My statement has nothing to do with your financial status! Your personality is total wack!

You want a pregnant woman to go to farm and do house chores?
The whole time she was caring for you, you didn't complain. Now it's time for u to care for her and you are shamelessly wailing..

When you were fùcking her u didn't anticipate the responsibility of pregnancy?

I no blame u sharr. I blame her low self-esteem, which made her desperate to settle for less. No hard working woman deserves a weakling of a man!!!

SO U WANT TO RUN AWAY? Is this how u will pay that Woman back for her loyalty and love to you? Chai u're very wicked selfish, childish and immature.its all about u and how are feeling. How old are u please?

That Woman stood by u and took care of you wen u were sick in hospital until u we're strong enough,had nothing,were poor and broke,she ran away from her family to be with you after her family rejected u. So this is how u want to pay her back,by running away and abandon her and YOUR unborn child? You are Wicked.

How many ladies of this generation,how many slay queens will agree to abandon her family and be with a man who is struggling,and be going to farm everyday? How many want to suffer?

CONSIDER URSELF LUCKY U HAVE A GOOD WOMAN,HER TYPE IS RARE.

Ur immaturity and childish mentality is wat u want to use to kill ur wife. Ur are the problem here not ur wife.At her pregnant stage,you still want her to follow you to farm, can u see how selfish u sound?
You want to kill her and the innocent child,u want her to have a miscarriage.

Marriage is for mature minds,not because u have fully developed male organs and beards.ur wife is pregnant and going through so much,coupled with no money.Give her a break.

If u're smart this is what u will do, from now henceforth,show that Woman love,love ,love.she is shouting, screaming having mood swings ,hold her,hug her,pet her, pamper her.

Fill her with lots of love overflowing she can't contain it. Whatever she does, don't complain,don't quarrel,overlook her.continue showing her love,even in her mood swings, continue to encourage her,tell her sweet things,how things will change for better and how u will shower lovely gifts on her.

Do the house chores,cook,clean, wash,take care of her,urself and ur home.You are the head of ur home.Then after a some time casually mention it to her that u love her so much and how she acts hurts u terribly.U tell her that please my darling stop being harsh with me.

Pray to God for success and work hard,double ur efforts,it's not only farming u can do, their are other jobs u can do,anything legit to get money ,as soon as u get money,go and meet her family and pay her bride Price.You need parental blessings,it's very very important.You cannot build a marriage that we without doing the needful.

Lastly,both of you, quickly go for counseling,in church,a therapist or an elder...you should enrol in another church if ur church banned u and don't want you.pray to God to show u which church ge wants a to be.

Winners church is a good place,they have a heart of helping those in need anda they support u in this trying time to bounce back.Pray and invite God into ur home and ask him to direct your affairs,ur steps and help you to be the head of your home he created you to be.

Marriage is not easy,but u are lucky u have a good woman bby ur side to make life's journey easier.
Life is not easy,life is full of problems,there are tougher challenges ahead.what are u gonna do wen they come? You must stand up as a man,fight and conquer ur problems head on.

I didn't want to type ,cos I have no strength but I had to reply u wen u said u want to run away.

They always change bro

To be honest with you; you are your own problem, you have an issue with misplaced priorities, first you jumped straight into marriage without making adequate preparations (financially and mentally), secondly, instead of you to be seeking advice on how to break free from poverty, you are here blaming your wife.

Caleb17:
You guys are not really helping the young man at all!!!!!!. The most tangible advice I have seen here are from her fellow women ( with F as gender ) who should advice his wife better.

All these men shouting endure , pregnant women are wired and all that rabatash. Cannot endure what he is going through now. I can bet my.... On that.
Pregnancy changes women mood sometimes but not to the extent of bitting her husband , wounding him and calling him unprinted and unpredictable names. Marriage nah world war 4 ni?

I understand a pregnant woman eating wired foods but I don't understand beating and wounding.
I understand a pregnant woman wanting to smell her husband's excrete but I don't understand bitting and wounding.
I understand a pregnant woman sending her husband out to buy her a particular delicacy and latter changing her choice immediately but gentlemen and ladies I still don't understand bitting, slapping brutally abusing the man. For what nah?

I have seen some pregnant women as much as 6 months still selling small small things just to support her husband. I even saw one today at Afo market grabbing palm kernel from a customer who came to sell. Those ones fell from heaven ba? Abi there pregnancy is fake? A friend of mine went to her shop a day before she delivered a bouncing baby girl and she just pour the pikin like the Hebrew women.

OP I understand what you are going through now but you have to realise that your marriage is on a very faulty foundation. You couldn't even afford money for bride price oh , and the medical condition you stated and went ahead to marry in this current nice economy of Nigeria.
The lady in question was super desperate for marriage , played her game and it worked on you like magic. Having acquired the hallowed status of MRS, and even have baby on top, you can't go away for now.

Pray hard and work even more harder. Don't forget the first advice. May sure you visit a good church every morning and lie down flat in the alter and cry your heart to God. After that immediately proceed to work , visit some NGOs and explain your problem but don't beg them for money, just take their advice.
And before I forget , start making plans to pay her bride price. Bride price is more spiritual than you can imagine.

Come back here later and give your testimony.

Goodluck bro

You summarize everything my brother, some of them don't know what I'm facing but went as far as insulting me.

I really appreciate your advice, may God bless you

Her actions might be a little harsh, but please understand she’s pregnant...Don’t try to run, rather be patient and try to find other ways to raise money for the family. You will be fine.

Emeraldgreene:
SO U WANT TO RUN AWAY? Is this how u will pay that Woman back for her loyalty and love to you? Chai u're very wicked selfish, childish and immature.its all about u and how are feeling. How old are u please?

That Woman stood by u and took care of you wen u were sick in hospital until u we're strong enough,had nothing,were poor and broke,she ran away from her family to be with you after her family rejected u. So this is how u want to pay her back,by running away and abandon her and YOUR unborn child? You are Wicked.

How many ladies of this generation,how many slay queens will agree to abandon her family and be with a man who is struggling,and be going to farm everyday? How many want to suffer?

CONSIDER URSELF LUCKY U HAVE A GOOD WOMAN,HER TYPE IS RARE.

Ur immaturity and childish mentality is wat u want to use to kill ur wife. Ur are the problem here not ur wife.At her pregnant stage,you still want her to follow you to farm, can u see how selfish u sound?
You want to kill her and the innocent child,u want her to have a miscarriage.

Marriage is for mature minds,not because u have fully developed male organs and beards.ur wife is pregnant and going through so much,coupled with no money.Give her a break.

If u're smart this is what u will do, from now henceforth,show that Woman love,love ,love.she is shouting, screaming having mood swings ,hold her,hug her,pet her, pamper her.

Fill her with lots of love overflowing she can't contain it. Whatever she does, don't complain,don't quarrel,overlook her.continue showing her love,even in her mood swings, continue to encourage her,tell her sweet things,how things will change for better and how u will shower lovely gifts on her.

Do the house chores,cook,clean, wash,take care of her,urself and ur home.You are the head of ur home.Then after a some time casually mention it to her that u love her so much and how she acts hurts u terribly.U tell her that please my darling stop being harsh with me.

Pray to God for success and work hard,double ur efforts,it's not only farming u can do, their are other jobs u can do,anything legit to get money ,as soon as u get money,go and meet her family and pay her bride Price.You need parental blessings,it's very very important.You cannot build a marriage that we without doing the needful.

Lastly,both of you, quickly go for counseling,in church,a therapist or an elder...you should enrol in another church if ur church banned u and don't want you.pray to God to show u which church ge wants a to be.

Winners church is a good place,they have a heart of helping those in need anda they support u in this trying time to bounce back.Pray and invite God into ur home and ask him to direct your affairs,ur steps and help you to be the head of your home he created you to be.

Marriage is not easy,but u are lucky u have a good woman bby ur side to make life's journey easier.
Life is not easy,life is full of problems,there are tougher challenges ahead.what are u gonna do wen they come? You must stand up as a man,fight and conquer ur problems head on.

I didn't want to type ,cos I have no strength but I had to reply u wen u said u want to run away.

Thanks for your time and advice.

I really appreciate

Romanoff:
How do I even respond to this.

You married her cause she was caring and hardworking.

Things changed when she got pregnant. You what a pregnant woman to be following you to farm?

You didn't know she was setting you up when she was showing you care at the hospital? You no know say she just dey find husband by all means?

You knew you weren't financially capable of being married, you still allowed her push you even against the advice of her poor parents.

You done enter am na, face it alone.

Good luck o.

shebi the thing muzz you too. Sha when a lady gets pregnant she begins to think about the future of that kid, that explains the character. they should have planned before entering into marriage

udoji2021:


Hmmm.

I get your point now.

Thanks again

Bro, you have a greater glory ahead but you have just been gunned with a demon possessed girl.
Very shortly, she will dominate your life, be controlling you anyhow and drawing your virtue through sexual intercourse.

Bashing is allow though, I know many will not believe this.

Johncuppa:

Bro, you have a greater glory ahead but you have just been gunned with a demon possessed girl.
Very shortly, she will dominate your life, be controlling you anyhow and drawing your virtue through sexual intercourse.

Bashing is allow though, I know many will not believe this.

hmmmmm

Don't be wicked Make money

My dear,provide for her at this critical condition...She needs money, love, care,and happiness.. Endure for her as well..Pregnancy Hormone fluctuations is at its peak..She's facing challenges too...Being pregnant without adequate care no be moi moi.....Puerperal psychosis is real. Avoid it at all cost..
Rally around till she delivers..
Good luck!!!

Chinny024:
My dear,provide for her at this critical condition...She needs money, love, care,and happiness.. Endure for her as well..Pregnancy Hormone fluctuations is at its peak..She's facing challenges too...Being pregnant without adequate care no be moi moi.....Puerperal psychosis is real. Avoid it at all cost..
Rally around till she delivers..
Good luck!!!

thank you.

I'm trying my best. I pray God should bring peace sooner than expected. thanks again

Maybe, you need to pray then and ask her people for forgivenes... Becareful and dnt think of running. All is going to be well

Caleb17:


Pregnancy changes women mood sometimes but not to the extent of bitting her husband , wounding him and calling him unprinted and unpredictable names. Marriage nah world war 4 ni?

You've just got to hand it to nairaland for housing some of dumbest bunch in the universe. Being violent and abusive is normal because a woman is pregnant not because she is has always been a mean human being looking for a reason to show her true self according to them.
Just got pissed reading the comments here especially from men.

udoji2021:


Thank you so much for this.

I will mention you with my details on another thread cos I don't want people to start thinking I post this because of money.

thanks again

Kindly drop the number and bank. Don't include your name it'll automatically pick it up.
And if you get the alert just comment "seen"

This behavior is common in expecting mother's. Just be patient. With time after delivery, she will surely be the wife that you used to know