Ok so this is my first fantasy novel.
It's a bit slow in the beginning because i'm trying to lay the groundwork for the fantasy bits. It may even seem a bit outlandish in some scenes but you can blame that on my over-active imagination.
Storyline: Average(okay there's nothing average about her) Nigerian teenager with a LOT of emotional hang-ups discovers that she's the subject of an ancient and appropriately awe-inspiing prophecy;and that it's her destiny to save the world.
She fights charlans(which are creepy evil creatures i made up)unleashes her AWESOME powers in the battle against the forces of evil,and saves the world with the help of people she meets along the way(who have even more AWESOME powers)and the boy who breaks her heart(and his too).
Here goes:
'Ivie Ekwubi walked briskly up the driveway of her mother's house. She shivered slightly and pulled her black suede jacket closer- it was a cold evening. A few minutes later,she knocked on the front door and it was opened on her third knock. "Good evening sis",said her younger sister,Shade. Shade was ten years old. She had long brown hair and big brown eyes and a light complexion-nothing like Ivie's jet-black hair and dark coloring-which made sense because they had only one parent in common;their mom. Shade and her baby sister were Ivie's half-sisters. Ivie walked in with a small nod(in response to Shade's greeting) and shut the door behind her. She took off her jacket,hung it on the coat-rack and went into the living room.

Her mother was waiting there,sitting on the sofa,and her husband,Ivie's step-father was right beside her.
'Great. Just bloody great',Ivie groaned inwardly,knowing what the determined look on their faces meant.
"Ivie,baby,i want to talk to you",her mom began. "Goodevening mom,sir. Mom can't we postpine this? I'm just getting in. I'm tired,and i'm hungry. Let's do this tommorrow",Ivie said in what she hoped was a persuasive voice. "Ivie if we keep putting this off,we'll never do it. It's not going to take long. Just a few minutes",her mom said.
"I'm just not in the mood. Besides. . ",she continued. "Would you just stop?",her step-father cut in. "Your mother and i are trying really hard to reach out,to make an effort here. The least you can do is listen",he added.
"Fine",Ivie said in resignation. She sat down,folded her arms and waited.

"Ivie",her mother began,and continued,"recently i've begun to feel that you're pulling away from us,from your family,not that you were ever that close to us to begin with,but still. You don't want to have a relationship with anyone. You're antisocial,you spend all your time locked up in your room doing God knows what. . .sometimes you've got this look in your eyes that scares me. And this distance between us is baffling. I mean,when we were still together,you were so different. You were such a happy child,such a joy to me,and then when you came back,you'd changed. So much. I don't understand it",she finished.
"Well i'm sorry i don't fit into your perfect family,mom. The good thing is that i'm 17. In a year,i'll be legal,and i'll be out of your hair. You won't have to worry about your crazy daughter anymore. Just one year to go. I'm counting the days mom. I can't wait to get outta here. I'll bet you can't wait either",she said,oblivious to her mother's pained gasp.

She stood up,knowing her words had hurt her mother,and walked away without so much as a backward glance. So what if her words had caused her mother pain? Ivie Ekwubi was long past the point of caring.

*********
'Ivie entered her room and shut the door firmly behind her. She sat on the edge of her bed and took a deep breath,her right fore-finger pressed to her throbbing temple. She was tired;exhausted in fact. A mass jumble of emotions were rapidly running through her; frustration,sadness,pain,but most of all,anger. A blinding anger that filled her,consuming her as though it were a virus flowing in her blood. Anger at her mother,for daring to act so self-righteously,for daring to ask as if she(Ivie) were the problem.


All that anger grew,building,pressing,seeking a way out. Ivie suddenly reached out for the glass vase that was on her bedside drawer and threw it at the wall,the gesture blind and unthinking,meaningless in it's ferocity. The vase shattered into pieces on impact,and Ivie's eyes flew open at the sound.
Her eyes widened in shock. Sure,she'd always had a temper,but she'd never done something like that before. She wanted to pick the vase and break the bloody thing again and again,if that were possible,and the violence of her desire shocked her.
'Slow down,tough girl',she whispered to herself. 'Breathe in,breathe out. In. Out. In. Out',she repeated like a litany,trying to calm herself. It worked slowly,but surely,and all that burning anger grew less and less violent,and finally evaporated,leaving Ivie feeling drained;physically and emotionally.
She took off her wristwatch and got into bed. The minute her head hit the pillow,she drifted off into a quiet,dreamless sleep.
*********
Ivie's mother,Sarah,sat in the parlor,her husband beside her. It was a little while after Ivie's departure,and Sarah was clearly agitated. "I just don't understand it,Soji. I don't understand why my daughter hates me",she said. "Shhh",Soji replied,stroking her hair in a gesture that was meant to be soothing,and then continued;"She does not hate you". "Really? She could've fooled me",Sarah replied. Soji didn't say anything. "You were right here,Soj. You heard her. She wants to get as far away from me as she possibly can. How can you say she doesn't hate me?",Sarah asked softly.
"Because she doesn't. Ivie has a lot of. . anger in her,but she doesn't hate you",he said in reply. They both fell silent.


Ivie was indeed a very angry teenager. And as much as it pained Sarah to admit it,her daughter had every right to be angry. She'd done a rerrible thing. The worst thing any mother could possibly do to her child-she'd abandoned her.
"It's been years and i've still not made any progress. Even at the best of times,i feel all she does is tolerate me,and at the worst. . . ",she said,trailing off in despair.
"I know this is hard for you,but you can never give up. Ivie's angry at you,yes,but she needs your love just as much as you need hers. You just have to keep loving her and wait for time to heal her wounds",he said.
"That's the thing,Soj. I'm running out of time. Once she's 18 and legally an adult,i can't make her stay",Sarah said. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it",he said sofly,deeply empathizing,for he felt her pain as best as he could. He was a good father,and he loved his daughters dearly,but he knew nothing could compare to the bonds between mother and child. The mere thought of his daughters not loving him back,much less feeling a strong animosity towards him was enough to make him shudder. He could only imagine what being cut off from her child in such a way was doing to Sarah.

"You're a good man,Soji",she said,looking at him. She'd been married to him for twelve years,and she never failed to thank her stars for her good fortune. And she did have good fortune,lots of it. Not many women who did what she did had the luck to be forgiven by their partners. When she married Soji,he had no idea she had a child.
She'd kept it a secret,fearing he'd want nothing to do with her if he found out. After they got married,she'd still kept it a secret,even more terrified of what his reaction would be if he found out she'd been lying to him on such a deep level.
When he did find out,it had been just as bad ad she had feared it would be;worse even. He was furious that she'd kept the existence of a living,breathing part of her a secret. He stopped trusting her,and for a while she thought she'd lost him for good.
It had been a rough patch,but they'd been able to work through it because they never stopped loving each other. Almost losing him had brought her a new awareness as to how much she needed him. And his not only forgiving her but welcoming her child into their lives had filled her heart with a joy that was unlike anything she'd ever known.

"You are a good man,. I don't know what i did to deserve you',she said. "I ask myself the same thing",he said,kissing her softly on her forehead. It amazed her that after all the time that had passed,her feelings for him were just as intense as they had been twelve years before,even more so. And to know that he felt the same way? Well,that was even more amazing.
She sat upright and kissed him on the forehead almost reverently. "What was that for?",he asked,brown eyex twinkling. "To thank you for being here",she said. "You don't have to thank me for that. It's my job,hon",he replied. She snuggled closer to him. 'He's right',she thought absently as she burrowed even closer. She would never give up on Ivie,and she would never stop loving her daughter until the day she died,whether that love was returned or not.

very interesting, excellent dialogues, but we do not know how soji looks like. you do not do so well with the settings.

very interesting, excellent dialogue. but u don't do so well with ur xractas n d settings. i.e how does soji looks like?

Thanks. . Dialogue's always been my strong point. Soji's not a major character so i didn't spend a lot of time describing him. I'll try and pay more attention to my settings. .

major or not, we r at least supposed 2 know how he looks like. n more details on ivie. pls keep the dialog writn up.

Chapter 2.
Ivie woke up to the crunching sounds of someone eating cereal. She knew who it was before turning her head. When she did turn her head,she saw she was right. 'Well who else would it be?',she asked herself with a chuckle. And the answer was just as obvious-no one. No one would come into her room uninvited. 'At least no one but Jade',she modified. She disentangled herself from the covers,and stretched her willowy frame. "Hey",she said,swinging her legs off the bed and sitting up. Her room was pretty bland-white walls, green rug,four poster bed. She hadn't decorated much since she'd moved in six years before. "Hey",Jade replied. "I've got the box",she added,gesturing to the box of Kellogg's Frosties on the floor beside her. "Want some?",she asked. "You do know that stuff's just pure sugar on flakes,right?",Ivie said. "And your point is?",Jade asked,eyebrow arched.
Ivie chuckled. "I brought an extra bowl",she said,handing it to ger.


They ate in silence,Ivie studying Jade as she did so. Jade was small and wiry,her head a full mass of thick,curly black hair which was currently in some sort of curly weave-on-Ivie didn't remember it's name. Ivie,on the other hand was tall and lean,carrying her slight build with a lithe,almost predatory grace she didn't know she had.
While she could be described as graceful,the only word to describe Jade was energetic. She never stayed in one place for too long. There was a running joke between the two of them-that Jade couldn't walk delicately,couldn't saunter if her life depended on it. And Jade had agreed wholeheartedly. If one was going somewhere,she'd pointed out,whatever could be the point in not getting there quickly?
She was always bubbling with some sort of internal energy while Ivie was a lot more subdued. Jade enjoyed everything she did,and she was one of those people who tried to see the good in others and who believed that good things happened to good people eventually.
She was an idealist,and Ivie knew that sooner or later she'd be forced to realize that the world was nothing like what she thought it was. Ivie only hoped that the journey to that discovery would not be painful.

On the surface,the two of them being best friends seemed illogical. They were as different as night and day. Jade was an optimist;Ivie was such a realist she was almost cynical. Jade was innately kind and gentle;Ivie wasnt-not that she was mean or anything(although she could be if that was necessaru),mostly she just didn't care about anything.
Jade was an emotional person and very easily showed her softer side;Ivie didnt-again because she never really cared about anything enough to let it affect her in the slightest way(the only emotion Ivie showed with regularity was anger).
Jade was the outgoing type-she looooved to party;Ivie was antisocial. She wasn't a hermit or anything-she just didn't like people very much;and she'd much rather stay curled up in bed with a good book than go out.

In spite of all their differences,they were friends. Best friends,in act. Sure,Ivie had a lot of acquaintances,people who probably thought they were her friends,but the only person who'd gotten into her heart was Jade. She'd latched on the minute they met six years before,and she'd never let go. Stranger still,Ivie hadn't wanted her to let go.
Jade finished eating and took a sip of water. "So",she began,clearing her throat,"What's up with that?",she asked,pointing to the broken pieces of the flower vase. "Oh. . That. I was gonna talk to you about it. Yesterday my mom and i had an argument,i was mad. . . "
"So you threw a vase at the wall?",Jade asked,cutting in.  "That's the point,Jay",she said. "I don't throw things around when i'm angry".
"There's a first time for everything",Jade said with a shrug. "Not for this there isn't. It wasn't even that big of an argument",Ivie said,clearly frustrated.
"Stop over-thinking everything,Ivie. You were angry,you reacted. Had a little tantrum. It happens to the best of us",Jade said,not understanding why the whole thing was such a big deal to Ivie.

"It wasn't like that Jade. One minute,i was just mildly pissed off,the next. . . It was nothing i've ever felt",Ivie replied with an involuntary shiver as she remembered the alien rage of the previous night.
"Are you okay?",Jade asked,her voice tinged in concern. It was out of character for Ivie to be so bothered about something. "I've fine",Ivie replied,shrugging off the weird feelings she was having.


"So",Jade said brightly,obviously changing the subject,and continued;"What are you doing on Saturday night?"
"Nothing",Ivie replied.
Jade nodded-she already knew Ivie wasn't doing anything that Saturday night;Ivie never did anything on Saturday nights(or any night,for that matter)-her asking was merely for the sake of courtesy.
"Me and the girls are going out Saturday",Jade said. "Which girls?",Ivie asked a bit warily. "Funmi,Irene,Eniola and Rosemary",she replied.
"Where are you guys going to?",Ivie asked. "There's a party at Mike's",she replied,referring to a classmate of theirs,or rather,an ex-classmate,since they'd all officially graduated from Secondary school a few weeks before.
"And you want me to come?",Ivie asked,smiling despite herself.
Jade was undeniably,irrevocably and undisputably mad. Insane. Bonkers.
Her at a party? She smiled again.

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