Tugee:



Let me advise you as a married man myself, try not to make it a big issue and trust your partner more. It takes time for women to settle into their marriage both mentally and emotionally especially if you guys didn't date long enough. Most of ladies are prepared for wedding and completely unprepared for marriage and will still cling to their previous attachments such as Friends, Mother, Sisters, Cousins, Family, etc (although 'Male Bestie' is sort of strange). You will need to invest time, resources and energy into your marriage especially in these early stages to gain her absolute trust until she feels comfortable enough to detach from them. It may take a while, say two to three years but trust me when you get to that stage, you'll be cruising in your marriage like it's a bonanza. There's nothing better emotionally than having a loyal partner, no amount of money can buy you that and the sad reality is that it doesn't come automatically with the marriage certificate, it takes a conscious effort and God's Grace.

I'm a happily married guy myself and I have absolute PEACE. Happy Married Life Brother

anochuko01:

You didn't talk like a wise person at all boss. You don't need the insults

I'm very sure the op and his girl are easterners. I'm currently serving in the east, and I find it interesting to see very young beautiful corpers who are already married. My interactions with them tells how much they still want to mingle and gist with guys of their age.

havigold:
Even though you didn't specify your age bracket but I think getting married to a lady at 22 can be likened to" getting married to an underage girl" trust me , a lady at that age is matured physically but not well develop in understanding the course of marriage as an institution let alone life experiences .
You didn't do a well thorough job regarding the "jovial and friendly " personality of your' wife ', I stand here to say that any lady of what any age that is friendly to a male bestie apart from her main guy is an Emotional Cheat which graduates into sexual tension between them ...
The solution to this is either you get to know the
Unknown bestiee in all ramification by imbibing the little secrecy that makes your woman runs to him emotionally through communication by building on this, then educate her more on the pros and cons of marriage as an institution ....

zeuss:
Have a lady call you always......and let her complain also.

Philipsdael:
Sorry but you got married to an immature girl.
You told her you're not comfortable with it and she is acting like a feminist and you're considering her BS by keeping mute like you don't call the shot in your home.

Bringing this to Nairalanders shows how hurt and confused the shii hitting you.

From experience, my wife dare not have any close male friend.

Forget her age, that girl ain't ready for marrital bond.

AishaYesufu:

Many silly men have said more than this until they did DNA test on their kids. Simp

Victoria938:
She is not respecting you as a partner and she does not even respect the relationship so you need to take harsh steps if she wants to be with you otherwise allow her to be with him as you cannot go on like this forever. Talk to her firmly and let her know that if she wants to be with you then she has to stop meeting him and she has to cut him off from her life otherwise you are no more interested in the relationship. If she does not improve her behavior then leave her.

duni04:

Bros i agree with her. 22 is too young for marriage. Most 22yr old girls today are busy having the time of their lives, and having guys shower them with money and attention. Plus having random and meaningless sex. Its a humongous mistake to wife anyone of that age. She'll want to enjoy the attention and freedoms her friends are enjoying. If you cage her or try to counsel her, it won't end well.

Tugee:



Let me advise you as a married man myself, try not to make it a big issue and trust your partner more. It takes time for women to settle into their marriage both mentally and emotionally especially if you guys didn't date long enough. Most of ladies are prepared for wedding and completely unprepared for marriage and will still cling to their previous attachments such as Friends, Mother, Sisters, Cousins, Family, etc (although 'Male Bestie' is sort of strange). You will need to invest time, resources and energy into your marriage especially in these early stages to gain her absolute trust until she feels comfortable enough to detach from them. It may take a while, say two to three years but trust me when you get to that stage, you'll be cruising in your marriage like it's a bonanza. There's nothing better emotionally than having a loyal partner, no amount of money can buy you that and the sad reality is that it doesn't come automatically with the marriage certificate, it takes a conscious effort and God's Grace.

I'm a happily married guy myself and I have absolute PEACE. Happy Married Life Brother

zinny377:

God bless you too...the Op should do exactly as you ve said.

Nacoss25:
Good morning everyone. I am a young man newly married to a 22 yr old lady. our marriage is just 2 months old.

Before I met my wife in 2019, she has this male best friend who they have been best friends even before I met her though my wife is a social and jovial person always cheerful, she easily makes friends wherever she finds herself that's her nature and kind of personality.

Right now her friendship with that her male friend is what am becoming uncomfortable with right now because of the so much attention she is lavishing on him. I have complained to her that I am not comfortable with her closeness with the guy but she is seeing it that am trying to cut her off from her friends.

One interesting part of the whole thing is, since we got married the guy has been trying to distance himself from her a bit knowing too well that she is now married but my wife is even the one doing all she could to keep the friendship going the way it has been going. 2 days ago I and my wife were together she called the guy complaining bitterly how he has been distancing himself from her.

My people what do you think I should do to cut down that connection or will the friendship grow week by the day on it's own? My wife is refusing to understand that in marriage there are things u will have to let go.

larryjonze:




You sounded like someone who has a cctv 24/7 on his wife, so you follow are everywhere she goes or what.
lemme give you a liittle tip; most housewives that cheat are the ones there husbands would av sworn they can never sit next to man in a cab

obembet:


Wrong mentality... Is it only ur gfriend u are sleeping with? Na pple like u give ex-griend more attention than ur wife... If am ur wife en, I go do u that tin wey u dey do other ladies

farous:
My friend call your wife and tell her pointblank that you are not comfortable with it and that she should cut off with the guy as simple as that. If you leave this to grow,I bet you,you will regret it. Forget about jovial bla bla,there is every possiblity that the guy use to bed her.

Let me tell you,some woman are smart. Do you know your wife can be calling him or talking about him in your present just to keep your mind off from suspicion but behind your back, they are doing something you can't believe. It's a game because she know when she starts hiding it, you will suspect her the more. This same game also applies to men. Act now before it's too late. It's better you speak out and she still continue and hiding it from you for one day you must catch her and sent her packing than for you to keep quiet and they will be taking you as mumu when another man is secretly connected and browsing your network

larryjonze:




You sounded like someone who has a cctv 24/7 on his wife, so you follow are everywhere she goes or what.
lemme give you a liittle tip; most housewives that cheat are the ones there husbands would av sworn they can never sit next to man in a cab

timocruzcmbb:
Why would you go and marry a woman that has a male bestie,tell her she has to choose between you and that man,and report her to all her parent and yours.if you accept all about male bestie,she will be comparing you to him and he will be brainwashing her,oga.see my wife will never keep male friends,hat de Bleep.

Bigdik70inch2:
see ehn........
Yo wife might love u Ooo......reason why she got married to you......but jux know she enjoys the big fat dick of her bestie and wouldn't let go easily ..........

That's just it........

Philipsdael:

Nahh
I don't check and try to track her every moves ...that's tantamount to dying by heart attack.

Ignorance is bliss remember .
But not that I'll know and still be doing like I don't call the shot at my home then why am I the head.
Hence I practice what I preach she has no right against my will as the man of the house.

AmazonTopaz:
You married a 22 year old that may not be mature for marriage and is supposed to be free living her best life.

You said she is a jovial person so that is how she is and besides she knew that guy as a friend before meeting you so you gotta accommodate that.The only problem is that she isn't mature enough to know that there should be boundaries and she shouldn't over do it.It is a good thing that she is open to you about it.

She is still young and don't cage her because of marriage or that she should let go of someone she has known for years because she married you.

Just tell her to minimise it and draw boundaries.

Nacoss25:
Good morning everyone. I am a young man newly married to a 22 yr old lady. our marriage is just 2 months old.

Before I met my wife in 2019, she has this male best friend who they have been best friends even before I met her though my wife is a social and jovial person always cheerful, she easily makes friends wherever she finds herself that's her nature and kind of personality.

Right now her friendship with that her male friend is what am becoming uncomfortable with right now because of the so much attention she is lavishing on him. I have complained to her that I am not comfortable with her closeness with the guy but she is seeing it that am trying to cut her off from her friends.

One interesting part of the whole thing is, since we got married the guy has been trying to distance himself from her a bit knowing too well that she is now married but my wife is even the one doing all she could to keep the friendship going the way it has been going. 2 days ago I and my wife were together she called the guy complaining bitterly how he has been distancing himself from her.

My people what do you think I should do to cut down that connection or will the friendship grow week by the day on it's own? My wife is refusing to understand that in marriage there are things u will have to let go.

blahc007:


The main reason I will never advice any guy to marry under25, them no de quick get sense.... everything be like normal life to them..she can't even advice herself to cut off some relationship both male and female.......until she enter trouble em eye no go clear...

Brother you may try engaging a female counsellor...say a Married young Lady...she must have an elderly female individual she respects....craftly engage such person, so that she can softly counsell your woman without her knowing you contracted the counsellor....jus use diplomacy in this matter...your marriage is still young for plenty stories...wish you well brother

Jeon:


hi

don't marry you pple will not listen..

ABANGWABOI:


The guy you quoted is a big fool..
Look at the nonsense he listed that a man should do or pass thru so as to have a good marriage.. wife wey man use money marry and still dey pay her bills..
Men of this generation are mostly Idiotic..
If she can't Submit, do not Commit.. na my watchword be that .

AishaYesufu:

Silly talk!

He is saying he won't accept such nonsense. And if he catches her or suspects her cheating, he yanks her off.

My wife is not permitted to have any male friends, be it ex boyfriend, school mate, old colleague, cousin brother, street brother, church brother etc. She is only permitted to be close to her father and her sons(my sons).

Rubbiish:
How can a boy be bestie to a married woman?
The things some boys do makes me to wonder if we now birth female in male form these days. Any normal boy should cut every ties with a lady the moment she gets married!