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Tired Of My Marriage - Family (2) - Nairaland

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I Feel So Suicidal Because Of My Marriage. / My Wife's Sister Is About To Crash My Marriage, Please Help / POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Bigdik70inch2(m): 7:02pm On Jun 12
Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid,the problem i have is that, the girl family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eye to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when i noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money, although my wife is very nice she earn salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money, before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys is number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.
Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way,
before our marriage we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us , the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have a be able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do


Can definitely say u r Yoruba man that got married to an igbo girl........
Well.......that's just their way Oo.........

Reason.......while am still confused bout moving things forward with my girlfriend too........

She's igbo girl from family of 8 children.......

40 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by loosecanon50(m): 7:19pm On Jun 12
airminem:
My philosophy is basically this, and this is something that i live by, and i always have, and i always will. Dont ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason, ever. No matter what. No matter where, or who, or who you were with, or where you are, or where you've been. Ever, for any reason what so ever...sad What am i even saying self angry

My fellow Nairalander op, it is well with you.

What kind of this is that? grin cheesy

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by LadySarah: 7:21pm On Jun 12
Bigdik70inch2:



Can definitely say u r Yoruba man that got married to an igbo girl........
Well thats just there way Oo.........

Reason.......while am still confused bout moving things forward with my girlfriend too........

She's igbo girl from family of 8 children.......

Is the girl from IMO state or Ebonyi, Na dem dey borrn plenty like that.

Dear Op, try to relocate. Nothing you talk will change it. It will get worse with more births when mama will come for Omugwo and more.

She won't be able to talk to her family unless you do it urself

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by apostle96(m): 7:37pm On Jun 12
I don't really know what advice to give you
But this I'll say...
Don't give birth to plenty children like them. Don't follow ur in-laws' evil advice.

12 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Bigdik70inch2(m): 7:40pm On Jun 12
LadySarah:


Is the girl from IMO state or Ebonyi, Na dem dey borrn plenty like that.

Dear Op, try to relocate. Nothing you talk will change it. It will get worse with more births when mama will come for Omugwo and more.

She won't be able to talk to her family unless you do it urself

No joor......
She's from enugu......

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by joinnow: 7:43pm On Jun 12
Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid,the problem i have is that, the girl family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eye to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when i noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money, although my wife is very nice she earn salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money, before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys is number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.
Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way,
before our marriage we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us , the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have a be able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do
Not like you did not know what you are getting to b4 you married your wife.
Bro for better for worse.
Hustle more and pray Baba God to continue to bless you more to be able to have when they come to eat. You should be happy they are mostly girls or lady sooner that later they will all marry and go to their husband house.what of if they are all boys and young man you for hear am wella. Wella even train some for school or biz

8 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Womanizer(m): 7:46pm On Jun 12
Wahala everywhere

3 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by spice123(m): 7:56pm On Jun 12
Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid,the problem i have is that, the girl family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eye to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when i noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money, although my wife is very nice she earn salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money, before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys is number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.
Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way,
before our marriage we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us , the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have a be able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do
I had similar experience in my marriage and I will advice you on the solution. It is left for you to take it or leave it.
1. Map out a stipulated amount every month depending on what you earn. Say 5k for support. It may not be regular. Discuss with your wife about this so they stop coming over.
2. If number one does not work as was my case, change your accomodations to a far location. By the time they transport themselves, twice or thrice in a month visiting, they will know how far and rely on option 1.

52 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Rossy12(f): 8:21pm On Jun 12
chaiiii, marriage palava!!!

2 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Dalil8: 8:33pm On Jun 12
@Ninobraw

Dat love wey dey shack u b4 don comot 4 ur eyes now abi?

No dey marry poor girls una no go hear. Nigerian men, suffer no dey tire una? angry angry Only u use ur hand destroy urself but e neva too late.

28 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Ngenge(m): 8:35pm On Jun 12
Its not easy to relocate. Starve them any time they come and they won't have the urge to come as often as the do. If they complain, tell them the economy is hard or you tell your wife to tell them not to come unannounced

3 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by AgentGoat: 8:43pm On Jun 12
Na you do yourself. How can you marry from family wey plenty.

10 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by ArticleBeast: 8:54pm On Jun 12
okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.
Yours dont come everyday or every week.

2 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by xavuv(m): 8:55pm On Jun 12
Immatured OP.

So You you think its by stopping to feed them that will make you achieve things like cars, house and other comforts,lol. grin

If i were in your shoes, i will gladly make them comfortable according to my ability whenever they visit and not complain or have grudges against my inlaws or wife. And see how God will bless me.

Note: i said according to my abilty, i will not overstretch. If there is food in the house, we eat, and i won't hide it if there is none either.

45 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by ArticleBeast: 8:55pm On Jun 12
Slimdan360:
Stop being a selfish and stingy person,the more u give,the greater u receive,know this and know peace
I hope they don’t kill you in the process. Learn to say no and stop people from exploiting under the guise of giving

42 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by akpunda86: 8:56pm On Jun 12
Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid,the problem i have is that, the girl family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eye to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when i noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money, although my wife is very nice she earn salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money, before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys is number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.
Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way,
before our marriage we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us , the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have a be able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do

Bros I feel u. Really feel u. I hope ur wife no be from mbaise. They behave like hausa people. Boy earlier you spark better for u.
Your experience just like mine. I regretted paying for a 2 bedroom apartment. My family nvr and uptill now never come they come and greet and go that's how we grew up but my wife family a pain in my neck worst no dey work sisters go come Lagos carry friends my house became a base for mbaise ppl.
Everyday na cook some go come stay months.

Well my rent expired I took a smaller house just a room and palor I don't need Xtra room cos my firm gave me an apartment I hardly use still no stop .
.I stopped buying food in bulk all exhausted not even nepa token. A whole complete year my wife almost starved I don't give a damn but baby food and others was never issue cos she taught I buy on credit a supermarket gives any baby stuff only she needs.
She started hiding cooked food. She cried and cried and said I'm maltreating her I told her na she dey do me. Like she sent d message they all disappeared.
Urs better wife working cos mine doing noting but once people cum my freezer goes down.

Sorry to say for me mbaise ppl just dey do like hausa ppl

86 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by xavuv(m): 8:56pm On Jun 12
ArticleBeast:

Yours dont come everyday or every week.

OP must have exaggerated the issue
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by frozen70(f): 8:57pm On Jun 12
Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid,the problem i have is that, the girl family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eye to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when i noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money, although my wife is very nice she earn salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money, before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys is number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.
Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way,
before our marriage we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us , the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have a be able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do


I don't understand why you can't seat your wife down and discuss exactly all you just typed now

Are you afraid of hurting her, if yes, then you have jailed yourself

Seat her down and let her know that you are tired and fed up with her family frequent visits and need them to give you a break

Right in her presence there, call her parents ask her dad yo put the call on speaker so that your mother inlaw could hear you

Tell them how difficult things have been and you will appreciate his children giving your family a break from their frequent visits so that you can reorganize your home and self because of the hardship in town

If you don't handle this issue with strong head, you will use that same head to carry inherited problems and will end up not helping your own family
Use your head unless you took their daughter away without performing all the expected rights

26 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Seandisputed(m): 9:02pm On Jun 12
Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.
The Lord is your strength.
During courtship, did she work? If no, you're the cause of 70% of your problem.

19 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by DesChyko(m): 9:21pm On Jun 12
Keep spending my brother.

Owu saa gi, i ga-amaara ife e.

13 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by fatymore(f): 9:37pm On Jun 12
Funny op and people who gave advice...

Nigeria is hard now
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by airminem(f): 9:47pm On Jun 12
loosecanon50:


What kind of this is that? grin cheesy

shocked
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by b3llo(m): 9:49pm On Jun 12
You have to be firm about your stand better still pack to a farther location.

5 Likes

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by ogwuche4u(m): 9:57pm On Jun 12
Tajbol4splend:
Lmao, I hate burden, tbh it's not easy to tell them to stop coming since they are shameless about it. That's why Yorubas say "Aya buruku seeni sugbon ana buruku o seeni." This situation is difficult to control but I think the best way to go about it is giving them attitude and body language, I wouldn't say it to their faces not to come to your house if I were you, I would just give them attitude towards their eating habit when they visit you, but be smart about it

This is so wrong. His best options are to relocate or sit his wife down and explain things to her. Giving body language is very bad. Don't forget.. op children will look up to them as uncle and aunty someday.

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Ishilove: 9:58pm On Jun 12
How can they give birth to 9kids?? Did they not have a future plan for these kids?

How can they be "eating like elephants" in this Buhari era? The aunty herself needs to draw boundaries.

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by stupidmod3: 10:01pm On Jun 12
okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.
easy for u to say.

my cousin told me he was coming to spend 1 month with me, he works alright, I told him he will take care of his own feeding.

i didnt hear from him again

90 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Acidosis(m): 10:12pm On Jun 12
Have a discussion with them and try to understand their experiences. Are they all without jobs? Or studying?

One thing you should realize is that unless you have genuine reasons to stay away from your family, they should come first. I've seen people like you who complain about their family yet they're always the first to donate to strangers for show off and offer the best advice to strangers. Some of you have the best entrepreneurial and business strategy advice for strangers but your family can't even turn N10 to N20 in 2 months. Your strategy is only for you, friends and strangers yet you complain when family comes for recharge card money.

We all need to do better. If everyone decides to focus more on their immediate families, we would have less issues to deal with out there. The country is hard, the issues are the same from the North to the South.

27 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Angelacruz: 10:21pm On Jun 12
Hahhhaaa
Xenry:
This is what happens when you marry from a poor family, you will automatically become a burden bearer for all.
Tell your wife to feed her family, while you feed yours! Imagine feeding a family of 11 just because you are married to One—that's unfair na! grin
Try and relocate if you can. Because with the way they use to feast on your food, they might as well feast on your flesh when the food is gone grin.
But they eat too much ooo! Damn! sad
I tell you bro, Redpill no fit handle this problem ooo. So you need to Japa! wink
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by mokay: 10:24pm On Jun 12
I learnt on this platform that family problem no dey finish. We have very similar issue, but I have conquered what you just claimed to be an issue. I want you to know that your wife loves you, and you should try to understand that. Here is what I did.
1. I called her and explained how this is hurting me in all ramifications, plus the fact that my own family does not do that even though they have every right like hers. I told her talk to her people, cos if I do, it might escalate into something else, and my own family will support me in this.
2. We agreed to buy a landed property, there we pool our resources. If I am trying to do pass myself, she will be the one to remind me of our target.
I believe this should give you peace. Please don't use strong face as others might have advised you, those gluttons today could feed millions tomorrow. Only God knows tomorrow. Peace.

99 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Angelacruz: 10:25pm On Jun 12
So u are one of dem?
HONESTFACT101:
so anichebe just this week we came to your house you came here to make it seem we are are hopeless poor gluttons whom have been feeding fat into your pocketundecided......signing out✈

1 Like

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Oyiboman69: 10:27pm On Jun 12
okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.
blaming the couple for being poor...there is a limit to everything. even the richest man cannot feed everybody always. stop being unhelpful cos you you prepared one so call soup for your in laws sometimes undecided

45 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Oyiboman69: 10:53pm On Jun 12
Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid,the problem i have is that, the girl family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eye to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when i noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money, although my wife is very nice she earn salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money, before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys is number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.
Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way,
before our marriage we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us , the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have a be able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do
your wife will not be able to show them attitude cos they are his sibling. all you have to do is map out your monthly expenditure that covers for both of you and give to your wife ,if they empty everything in two days,is left for her. you can also eat outside in most cases. don't overspend your earning,your wife is contributing because of her family presence and i doubt if would she would be contributing if it is the other way round. remember,for whatever reason,dont ever discuss it with them or display an obvious displeasure in their unwanted visitation. do this and thank me later

8 Likes

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