okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

bro no lie my aunt's husband loves people around him that always gives him joy there was a time he was feeding 12people in the same house I love him he gives Money to people without thinking twice I pray to be like him if I have enough money .

airminem:
Com'on pub hols are mainly enjoyed by civil/public servants. I hope you are getting on too ?

I’m fine.... can I PM you?

Hassanmaye:

Best advice

lamentation lol

Adewunmibaba:
I’m fine.... can I PM you?

Yea okay.

flokii:


The guy should pack his things and relocate.. he needs to go far away if he wants peace.
Which kind of thing is that

You people don't know that relocation takes planning. You think its just to pack bags and leave. How about their sources of income? They should carry it along abi it will be waiting for them there?

airminem:
Yea okay.

Thank you

okoroemeka:
that's a very wrong move,that your cousin will not forget that statement till his or her dieing days,it is better for him to come whatever is available will be managed,I had such experience when my two cousins were living for a brief period with me in enugu,my wife grew tired and told me she will stop feeding them I said NO,we shall manage,but now one of those my cousins got married to a very very wealthy Tyre importer in onitsha and the other is now working in a big oil company ,till date the reverence and respect they have for me and my wife is limitlessness, little do they know what really happened behind the scene.

I must say that you are wise and patient. But you see that it might not have turned out good for everyone. You are lucky

Tokz2002:
In some cases, they'll follow oo

I can not can

okoroemeka:
that's a very wrong move,that your cousin will not forget that statement till his or her dieing days,it is better for him to come whatever is available will be managed,I had such experience when my two cousins were living for a brief period with me in enugu,my wife grew tired and told me she will stop feeding them I said NO,we shall manage,but now one of those my cousins got married to a very very wealthy Tyre importer in onitsha and the other is now working in a big oil company ,till date the reverence and respect they have for me and my wife is limitlessness, little do they know what really happened behind the scene.

There are a lot to learn from this thread.

The guy went to far by saying that to his cousin I think.

Only God knows tomorrow.

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.



Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2

I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

That's where the problem started from...a man marrying from a family that has more than four children. Can never be me.

@OP: I'm sure you have gotten enough advices. Pick the best but realistic ones. Best wishes!

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

Hi sir!!
This write up really got me laughing and ur comment got my attention.
Pls leave poverty aside I’m sure ur in-laws is/are not up to about that numbers the op said even if u get the money can u be feeding in-laws of about 9 in number year in year out bros one day u go squeeze face...

You are right to be upset by unbudgeted expenditures that becomes recurrent.

You are a prudent man that have financial independence as a goal, but that is being threatened by these kind of expenditures.

You are however facing a dilemma in this issue.

WHEN YOU GET MARRIED, YOU MAY SUCCEED IN GETTING GOOD WIFE BAD INLAWS OR BAD WIFE GOOD INLAWS. ITS RARE FOR A MAN TO GET BOTH, QUITE RARE.

Now, from your own words, you have gotten a good wife, and did not get best of inlaws. You should thank God that you got good wife.

This problem you are facing is temporal. The young persons eating up your food will later get something doing and will begin feeling remorse for depleting your food reserve this way.

HELP THEM IN ANY WAY YOU CAN TO HAVE THEM FIXED IN SOURCES OF INCOME FOR EACH INDIVIDUAL THERE WHO CAN WORK. THAT WAY, YOUR BURDEN WILL BE LESSENED AND THEY WILL BE GRATEFUL FOREVER.

DON'T HURT YOUR GOOS WIFE. HER INTEREST AND HER PRIDE IN HER PARENTS HOME IS YOURS TO SAFEGUARD, AND THAT UNDERSCORES YOUR KINDNESS TO THAT FAMILY THUS FAR. DONT RELENT NOW.

IF YOU QUIT YOUR MARRIAGE BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU WILL REGRET. IF YOU PERSEVERE, YOU WILL REAP THE REWARD LATER ON.

ANOTHER WIFE, if that is what you are contemplating, may be the opposite of what you have now.
Imagine having bad wife and best of in laws. i.e you will be sleeping and waking up from the same room with the opposite of your current wife.

Thank God your current inlaws are not stealing from you, nor your wife stealing from you and giving to her family behind you... That is what happens in many families, and many of them are still enduring it.

Lastly: your marriage is still relatively young. Two yrs only. Every family faces challenges at early stage. Naturally, those problems fissle away as years go by.
REMAIN A GOOD MAN. YOUR PROBLEMS WILL ALSO PASS WITH TIME.
IF YOU HAVE A BIBLE, READ PSALMS 34:19

Asquare84:
For those suggesting he relocate that may not even work, In my case my wife mother travel all the way from Jos to abuja with two adult male children to come and visit the son that impregnant a lady outside wedlock, my question is if she is coming to abuja why bring a boy of 12 and 9 years to come to my house in abuja.

Secondly no body should blame the opp from marrying from a family of 8 children, life orientation matter alot, I am the only male child from a family of five children yet for once I have not step my leg to my in law house or call them for any form of assistance.

It's because you are the only male in your household while OP's WIFE is the first daughter among NINE children

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

This thing is not difficult ... when you married a first daughter , you should know what you are expecting....

the pros is that she will use the first daughter experience to take good care of you and your home as she is already experienced and trained on shouldering responsibilities....

The cons is that her entire siblings will rely on her and her life thus destroying her life and your life and your children's life in the process ...

My advice : Never condemn her family before her , let her come to you to complain then take it from there and tell her the evil ahead if she didn't apply wisdom and add caveat at the end that you are just watching out for her and not pitching her against her families....

You should find a one room apartment or self contain rent for somewhere as your guest house , if you are buoyant, rent a flat and move there when they are around and shuttle between there and your house .... Just drop money for your wife as weekly or monthly feeding allowance and stock up your Guest House ... If your wife is an understanding type, bring her in into the secret lodge if not hide it from her till her family bore her out and which is very soon .....

You need to step away because they day you will be filled up and clash with them, you can lose your home (your wife) .....

Bola146:
I understand your worries. Sir, I know that you knew or saw this coming( that is why it's good to stop what you can't continue) they are her relations, they are her cross, she can't ignore them away. It's now left for you to sit your wife down maybe to minimize their coming or solutions to it. You can still be helping with the little you have, it's better than to ignore them totally.

How can able bodied folks feast on other people wealth ... why can't they go out there and eat from there own handiwork....

God forbid even as buoyant as I am ... I don't like third party in my matrimonial home ....

I already promised myself if my wife mama should visit and stay more than 3 days, I will move to my guest house remote from my house ....

My Guest House is the secret get away and strictly for me and my Nuclear family , strictly ... The day I see a trespasser, I will abandon there and find somewhere else ...

I don't leach and I detest leaches !!... Of course I can help but not till the extent that you now turn my house to your mecca of a kind where you stay ... Go to your house and use your brain with the money and advise I would have given to you !!

Elvisgolden:
Your wife is not cheating on you

Your wife is not nagging or troublesome

Your wife is very generous and open hearted with you

Your wife is hardworking.....

And yet you choose to be immatured because of food.......Because you are yet to talk to your understandable wife, yet you are here complaining on social media

You choose to be tired of a loving marriage and wife because of food you have the capacity to buy......

You choose to label your in-laws as gluttons....and worse still your father/mother in law which are relatively your parents because of food


May God have Mercy on your soul..........

If you are wise, you are supposed to be thanking God for the ability to feed others

If you are wise, you are supposed to be telling God to increase your financial capabilities so as to be able to do this assignment..........we rise by lifting others

You are supposed to be thanking God for a peaceful, caring and understanding wife....

It's like you don't know that food items have had their prices shot up in recent months Do you know how he was coping during the early stages of marriage?

This is how you people breed poverty through emotional abuse.

mastermaestro:


Well let's leave the past behind. Please answer these questions as accurately as you can. The answers will give us a clear roadmap to a solution by GOD'S grace.

How romantic are/were you? Does she enjoy sex with you, or it's just another marriage ritual? Do you give her great sex, or you merely do it to fulfill all righteousness? Despite her shortcomings, how far do you go to show her love? When last do you take her on a good outing?

Please don't give excuses why you haven't been able to do all of these. Only plain answers would be helpful. No self-defense, please.

Let's discuss this elsewhere!

Twoclans:
Poverty is a bastard

This country is gone finally,food that another human being will eat is now a problem.

Growing up I cant count how many people my late dad feed.Infact if you come to his house and you do not eat he considers it an insult.And he still achieved alot to the best of his ability.

Anyway @ OP the country seems different now ,things are difficult .Tell your wife to stop giving her family food .May God help you as you pass that information to her.

Forget that, even during your papa time ... not everybody can afford to feed everyone..... and now adays, many people can still feed many people ... don't you see beggars and many beggars in Nigeria, if it ain't lucrative , Nigerians won't join Almajiri begging ....

The Op is not financially buoyant to be feeding 9 adults ... 9 , do you know what it feels to finish a cartoon of indomie in 3days ....

Forget about money or no money .... I hate when in laws visit me over long period .... don't you have job and responsibilities to go back to ...

I prefer to even rent house for any close family in my city or book hotel for some than for them to visit my home .... i no get time oo ... i go change am for everyone now now now ...

Slimdan360:
Stop being a selfish and stingy person,the more u give,the greater u receive,know this and know peace

Mad man, he should give what he doesn't have abi ...

flokii:
@OP the gobe wey you enter tie wrapper

Typical caae of buy 1 get 8 free.. they even do shift to come and consume your consumables. It is well

Guy, I laugh sotey I choke on my food ...

GGirll:


what God will do?

God will fight his battle for him. How God will do it, I don't know, but victory is sure.

generalwo:
....... The op never see chon chin....i was earning 13k per month and accommodated my ex and 4 of her siblings for almost a year..... That one na babe o... Not even wife.....we all go dey alright lass lass

That you can do it (which I wonder how with such meagre salary) doesn't mean others can and should do same. Everyone isn't built the same way.

Funkybabee:



Lols, I will want you to know something today bro, that u amount to nothing I mean nothing, if you refused not to do a assign job given to you by God bro another person will rise up and do it even if her wife refused to fend for them today, I repeat it another person will rise up and fill the place

Oh my gosh, so someone decided to give birth to 9 children he has no plans of taking care of but you feel it is the duty of another young man to take care of a battalion simply because he married into a family. Chai, you dull no be small.

Also, lol at people waiting to fill in the place. Good luck in getting men stupid enough to put up with entitled creatures like you.

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

A beautifully written nonsense and it got the most likes. Nigerians are easily swayed by emotions and sentiments. Little wonder they regularly vote in dumbassses as their leaders.

seanwilliam:


Hello , she should continuing feeding her family with her own money ! Period! Can the wife do that if reversed was the case ?? Can she be feeding the ops family ??

And don’t call him a poor man .. cos you’re not in his shoes!! Or you forget that after the foods, the ops would still take care of other bills of his immediate family ?? It is easier to call someone poor when you are not financially responsible nah

Or u think being responsible is just by adding Maggi money abi by buying onions or by borrow your husband money u go still collect back .. ?

Yes, she's been feeding her family and the Op's family who visit once in a while with her funds, at least she earns and isn't stingy with her funds.
Yes he's a poor man because he wants both his money and wife's money to himself, he said it himself or didn't you read that? The op has poverty mentality and is a selfish being. So the woman shouldn't take care of her loved ones who she's known all her life because of one poor man. Who knows tomorrow? These same people may be the ones to help that family tomorrow.
For the records, don't think every lady is like the ones in your life. Some of us are very responsible financially. Not crayfish, Maggi or onions women like you know. End of story.

Funkybabee:



Sister don't mind that frustrated soul

He's part of them, I cannot be saying what my responsibility is even with my worobo jobs I'm
presently doing. Glory to God

But some sisters fall my hands atimes, how can you marry such mentality man when u know the type of your responsibility you will be facing ahead.

Is it love gan ni because I don't seem to understand

I tire o, a man that will be putting his eyes in the small money you're making... Is that one a real man? He's just a selfish being.

MrMcJay:


God will fight his battle for him. How God will do it, I don't know, but victory is sure.

You are the funniest of all responses I read here....same happened to my sis who just put to bed, in laws comprising of one old woman they hired, 2 old ladies ages 29 n 39, stormed her house in d name of helping out, they cook, give her little n eat up d rest until her hubby started complaining that how come stuffs are finishing like these, she started cooking herself to control things n dishing their food only for d 39 year old one to complain that shes stingy n that where she was squatting, d woman gives her plenty food, her Hubby's elder sis of about 45 years too comes n enters d kitchen to pack food for herself, each of these ladies are divorcees n unmarried with annoying character flaws n very rude while uneducated. But my sis is a doctorate student while hubby is a business man, n all they do is go to marker, cook, steal, cause trouble between her n hubby, clean d house twice a week, d mama only baths d baby n press her tommy, while my sis washes her n Hubby's clothes, baby's clothes, cooks, breast feeds n cuddles d baby even at night n one day she just woke up n ordered her hubby to choose between her n them,she practically told them off today they have their peace.

First of all you knew she was a first born before you married her. Am sure her family were depending on her before she got married to you. Even If you marry a first born, the family will not stop looking up to her for many things.

My advise is to sit your wife down and you guys can plan a specific amount of money to give to them monthly for their food and their welafare.
And that they can visit maybe one time in a month or one time in two months because you need a space for you guys to enjoy your marriage or family life.
And it is okay for her to visit them whenever she want in their family house.

Please note this, when you feed people who dont have or people who are in need, there is a big blessing in that. So speak to your wife and organize your home..

May God be with you and your household.

Ikpongiton:
You are a greedy man.so, because your in-laws come to your house, because they love their sister.na make you de paranoid, sotey you de enter kitchen go de count Maggi and indomie.that is stinginess of the highest order.your mates are funding their in-laws in school and empowering others around them.you need to change your mentality and stop to mock others who are down, because you are up.

Ideally, the parents of these in-laws have failed as they have allowed outsiders take over their natural responsibility. This right here is a good example of why most people never stop struggling financially.

Pray for more blessings the hand that gives is always greater than the hand that receives. Dont be tired of your marriage because you are pressured to give what you have in your case it's food. The money you will use to buy car and build houses will be provided by God in ways you Dont expect. It is never the food money you will save to buy a car or build a house so keep giving and pray for more blessings so you can give more and keep some for your self. God answers those kinds of prayer fast.

Arsenate:

Oh my gosh, so someone decided to give birth to 9 children he has no plans of taking care of but you feel it is the duty of another young man to take care of a battalion simply because he married into a family. Chai, you dull no be small.

Also, lol at people waiting to fill in the place. Good luck in getting to [b]men stupid [/b]enough to put up with entitled creatures like you.

dumb guy will always sound dumb, there's no how they can package themselves