AmazonTopaz:


And who told you I am not or did I in anyway make known my marital status

you comment showed that you are not

Styluss:
you comment showed that you are not

Wahala let marriage mean what it means to you and let marriage mean what it means to me.

You cannot use your view of marriage to think or believe that every marriage out there is the same or that your experience must be my own or that of other women.

What I said is not foreign or out of the ordinary

AmazonTopaz:


Wahala let marriage mean what it means to you and let marriage mean what it means to me.

You cannot use your view of marriage to think or believe that every marriage out there is the same or that your experience must be my own or that of other women.

What I said is not foreign or out of the ordinary

you are right... But I could only deduce one fact.... Which is that you ain't married.

AmazonTopaz:


Why should she not be defensive?man beat you wetin you go do you will turn the other cheek abi or you will still remain submissive thinking that will change him.
My problem with women like you is that you think the victim should be the one to change or is at fault while seeing nothing wrong with the perpetrator.Which sane woman will submit to this kind of husband? You can still direct the advice to her husband so that she can show him to read.Something like stop beating your wife,communicate better,calm your temper,stop keeping malice,respect her etc.

There are a lot of women who are submissive but common love they can't get from their husbands despite all the respect and kneeling down they can still be beaten,cheated on,disregarded etc.

Nigerian men should learn proper training it shouldn't fall on the wife alone to mold them because they are not babies.
Submission cannot help a badly trained man.

You go about Nairaland each and every minute in the day getting into arguments and you have been called olosho by pretty much everyone on Nairaland but ya donkey somehow claimed to be married. Failed feminist ya donkey

Lizzyangel:



I'll suggest you go through the post again and see reasons why people are telling the op to be submissive. No offense ma'am

She isa stupid feminist donkey with no understand of marriage or union

AmazonTopaz:


That is my own interpretation of it and it applies to everything you do including marriage.It was in the same chapter relating to marriage as well.

Your own interpretation is false

God does not say two things twice he is not a talkative

Submit to one another was for the church not marriage

From verse 22 king james version do underline it ad now "for marriage"

liquidmetall:


Your own interpretation is false

God does not say two things twice he is not a talkative

Submit to one another was for the church not marriage

From verse 22 king james version do underline it ad now "for marriage"

Same way Christ said husband's should love their wives and give themselves as Christ did for the church

It was in reference to marriage oga.That chapter was specifically for married people.

That was Apostles Paul's admonition to the people he was writing his epistles to no need mentioning God there apostle Paul wrote his epistles specifically in light of the time in which it was written

I am free to have my own interpretation same way others have various interpretations you don't get to tell me whether or not my interpretation is false the Bible wasn't written in English and there are contradictory verses in it with different human understanding and I apply it in light of the time it was written and not in today's time and age.That is my own choice

AmazonTopaz:

Same way Christ said husband's should love their wives and give themselves as Christ did for the church

It was in reference to marriage oga.That chapter was specifically for married people.

That was Apostles Paul's admonition to the people he was writing his epistles to no need mentioning God there apostle Paul wrote his epistles specifically in light of the time in which it was written

I am free to have my own interpretation same way others have various interpretations you don't get to tell me whether or not my interpretation is false the Bible wasn't written in English and there are contradictory verses in it with different human understanding and I apply it in light of the time it was written and not in today's time and age.That is my own choice

Your interpretation is,false and God can't say submit to one and another then comes to tell women to submit differently again in another verse

The truth will set you free from selective anger /bitterness

Of course men will love as they were commanded

Read through your post..
From the much I read, Im gonna ask.. Were you guys forced or even ready for Marriage before actually tying the knot?
It's obvious you guys weren't ready and EGO is doing a good job of helping you guy destroy what you guys weren't ready to start.
The Earlier you both drop the ego, the better for your marriage.

liquidmetall:



Your interpretation is,false and God can't say submit to one and another then comes to tell women to submit differently again in another verse

The truth will set you free from selective anger /bitterness

Of course men will love as they were commanded

It was apostle Paul not God.

Also I like my false interpretation and it works perfectly for me the time I was a Christian or believer In Nigeria many men don't know how to love their wives,they forget to but are quick to remind their wives to submit them.

You can't love without submission same way you can't submit without love I see marriage as a mutual friend thing

Mtcheew!
Bring real scenarios joooor.

The woman on this story doesn't know how to talk

That's the main problem

And once a woman doesn't know how to talk
It's a matter of time
The marriage go get k leg
And outrightly break down

The husband should not beat her but notice this was the first time he did so in 5 years marriage
Meaning the woman pushed him to the Wall

And why is the woman now worried her marriage has shattered?

Did she behave like one that wants to be married

The man was even lenient for over 5 years
If na some men that don't tolerate nonsense
He for done end the marriage since
With this one women full everywhere
Looking for man house to enter

Lol.. you'll beat him back to finally finalize the breakup. this really cracked me up.

Madam, you're too stubborn and seem to be rubbing shoulders with your husband.

I know some men can be very annoying but how about you just letting somethings pass without reacting or trying to prove a point?

The last issue was your fault because he has apologized for hitting you the previous day which also covers for seizing the keys too. So when he called, you should have just said a simple " oh dear, I'm sorry. Forgot to drop the keys". You shouldn't have brought back the issue that is passed again. You are the one at fault here.

Now after satisfying your conscience you want to apologise. What nonsense.

I dislike people who keep repeating a matter thats past. My sister's know me. Once you keep going on about something, I go into silent mode for days and you won't even see my face.

Just stop repeating a matter and let bygones be bygones. That is how to make a marriage work.

AmazonTopaz:

It was apostle Paul not God.

Also I like my false interpretation and it works perfectly for me the time I was a Christian or believer In Nigeria many men don't know how to love their wives,they forget to but are quick to remind their wives to submit them.

You can't love without submission same way you can't submit without love I see marriage as a mutual friend thing

Apostle Paul is a servant of who ??
And you are telling us bible is wrong

Wife submit men love


Nothing you can do about it

A lot of men do not understand what it means to be head of a house. They think head is rulership just as Buhari thinks. They do not understand that headship is service.

As a husband God has called to you to serve that is why there is so much issues and misunderstanding in marriages. Why keep malice when your wife offends you instead of communicating with her things she says that upsets you and how you'll prefer she communicates her frustrations.

Calling people names when upset is absolutely a no no. We need to learn how to communicate effectively and keep our pride at the door when it comes to relationship.

All the problems here has do with poor communication and ego on both parts.

You both need to seek wisdom on how to solve your problems. This is not worth a divorce as the second partner won't be any better if you both do not fix yourself.

It's just like Buhari changing from APC to PDP. Same person. He won't do anything differently.

Styluss:
you are right... But I could only deduce one fact.... Which is that you ain't married.

You can read between the lines....I like that

liquidmetall:



Apostle Paul is a servant of who ??
And you are telling us bible is wrong

Wife submit men love


Nothing you can do about it

Apostle Paul was speaking for himself and it is obvious you don't know the history of the bible.
I no longer believe in the bible.

I don't care about doing anything about it because it doesn't apply to me and many couples these days don't even bother with that line anymore because marriage is more than that. I believe in mutual submission and love I live in the 21st century and apostle Paul wasn't ssirecting his advice to me but the Ephesians

Richy4:



You can read between the lines....I like that

She couldn't read between the lines because she has no idea of what she is saying I just chose to ignore styluss because my personal life is not under any scrutiny and I owe her no explanation to my married life

AmazonTopaz:

Apostle Paul was speaking for himself and it is obvious you don't know the history of the bible.
I no longer believe in the bible.

I don't care about doing anything about it because it doesn't apply to me and many couples these days don't even bother with that line anymore because marriage is more than that. I believe in mutual submission and love I live in the 21st century and apostle Paul wasn't ssirecting his advice to me but the Ephesians

Like they said, when ya married you can speak. For the now you can keep ya bad feminist attitude to yaself and follow the unmarried vile pigs like Tasha of that big brother naija thing. Ya got no respect and ya got no man, ya just a failed feminist who spends all her time on Nairaland with ya variety of monikers faking different personality 24/7

Cornpop:


[s]Like they said, when ya married you can speak. For the now you can keep ya bad feminist attitude to yaself and follow the unmarried vile pigs like Tasha of that big brother naija thing. Ya got no respect and ya got no man, ya just a failed feminist who spends all her time on Nairaland with ya variety of monikers faking different personality 24/7[/s]

Stop following me around nairaland get lost

AmazonTopaz:


Stop following me around nairaland get lost

When ya get a suitable life. Old woman like ya should be focused on betterment of ya life instead of trying feminist bs. You failed at that ya know. Do something reasonable

Cornpop:


[s]When ya get a suitable life. Old woman like ya should be focused on betterment of ya life instead of trying feminist bs. You failed at that ya know. Do something reasonable[/s]

LMAO
You are talking to yourself not me I am done giving you the attention you crave for.

Bye

AmazonTopaz:

LMAO
You are talking to yourself not me I am done giving you the attention you crave for.

Bye

Monkeys cannot give me attention ya know? Ya a girl, girls like hangout with girls, ya unmarried and ugly. Ya only find attention on Nairaland. Hence, ya dozens of active monikers. Ya a failed feminist and ya prost.... Mom was on work before she conceived ya.

RealNakupenda:
What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise

Good morning Ma. I’m so sorry to slide to your inbox like this but I’m confused at the moment. It seems my marriage is over!

We’ve been married for about 5 years now but it’s either we’re not compatible or my husband doesn’t just seem to want to understand me.

We’ve had quarrels like every other regular couple and I’ve tried to adjust and understand him but why does it seem as if I’m the only one working to keep the marriage?

My husband misunderstands me a lot, that I’ve seen from the many quarrels we’ve had. I know that I can be so vocal and be insulting to him when I’m angry but I really don’t mean everything I say, I’m just angry that’s my escape route to voice out hurtful things.


So recently I was trying to make a deal for us and I told him about this only for him to get angry, when I noticed the harsh tune in his voice I told him to forget it, then he started keeping malice with me that evening. He usually loves malice like no man’s business.

The next day I made food and called him to eat so that I could calmly talk things over with him only for him to ignore me, I was so angry and started voicing out toxic words from my mouth, we quarreled a bit and he left. He came back later that day when I was out and our main gate was locked, I called his line severally he didn’t pick up, I even sent text message, no way.

My neighbor later opened for me after persistently knocking. I was so angry when I got into the house because I observed he was avoiding me and I removed the gate key from his bunch of keys and even tried to express my displeasure at him, he continued ignoring me, then I was insulted him that’s when he responded angrily at me and hit me.

I was shocked because this has never happened before and I know that my husband detests hitting a woman. He walked out of the bedroom and I slept off only to wake me up at night and he apologized and things seemed a bit okay but I was still very hurt.

Later in the day he called me asking for the gate key because I think he was stranded outside and I responded to him that he’s feeling stranded outside the way I was yesterday and hope he understands how I felt also it’s not his right to keep that gate key like his prized possession it’s for both of us, I only left it for him out of respect that he’s the husband but if when he’s angry he cannot make a life saving decision then it’s not fair.

I didn’t actually say it like this verbatim but that’s what I meant. So you know this man felt so ‘insulted’ and started threatening to break up our marriage? And that if I was home with him he would have taught me a lesson?

I tried explaining myself better to him through calls because I was on night duty at work only for him to continue raining insults at me. I was so shocked and had to cut off his calls because it seems we were heading no where.

And I’m like why does it feel as if once we have issues this guy forgets trying to resolve them instead he starts painting me out as a bad person?

I’m not 100%perfect but it doesn’t mean I hate him because we have quarrels.

Now from the way he was even talking yesterday I didn’t recognize the man I got married to any longer. He was saying that I didn’t have remorse for responding to him when he confronted me for taking the key so it means I’m trying to drag headship position as man with him because I’ve contributed financially to the home and I’m like that’s false and a big misunderstanding. I

collected the key from him when I was angry for being locked out of the house, he settled with me at night, the next morning I woke up late and hurriedly left for work and was on night duty so it wasn’t like it was intentional to actually punish him but no o! He said because I didn’t apologize or show remorse when he first called me about the key so our marriage is over, he even used threatening words and I’m like isn’t this over board and out of proportion?

Does it mean that every time I have an issue with my husband I’m now evil?

He doesn’t even seem to care that his actions made me angry. Why?

This has been one major issue with our marriage and I’ve talked and talked about this, if I’m offensive to him in any way he should tell me calmly and I’ll apologize but if he tells me with a harsh tune I may end up being defensive. In fact I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m totally fed up!

If he feels that the marriage is over I wish him well. I won’t fight with him neither will I argue because I called him severally last night trying to make peace but he threw it out on my face. I even told him that if truly he was trying to make peace the other night why not still stand on the side of peace and hear me out?

I’m not dragging headship position with you and everything I’ve sacrificed for our home I think of it as building up our home but instead he kept on ranting insults at me and I’m like what really is happening here?

Why does it always seem that if u express myself to this man and tell him the truth he twists it and sees it from his own side and sticks by it. This happens every time.

I’m totally confused!

If he wishes the marriage to break up because he doesn’t want to see from my own side of the story then I don’t know what else to do but if he lifts a finger on me when I get home from work I will have to choice other than to hurt him back and really finalize that the marriage is over.

SOURCE : I’m totally confused!

If he wishes the marriage to break up because he doesn’t want to see from my own side of the story then I don’t know what else to do but if he lifts a finger on me when I get home from work I will have to choice other than to hurt him back and really finalize that the marriage is over.

Husband cannot groom his wife, wife is totally unyielding and lacks submission...madam you clearly want to be the husband. You might as well just do reconstructive surgery and identify as a man! As for your man he is struggling with grooming you right and pointing out your wrongs in a more constructive manner...both of you need to go and study what it means to be husband and wife according to the standards of your faith. Doing a wedding does not automatically make you husband and wife, you actually have to understand, appreciate and play the roles required of husbands and wives!

efficiencie:


Husband cannot groom his wife, wife is totally unyielding and lacks submission...madam you clearly want to be the husband. You might as well just do reconstructive surgery and identify as a man! As for your man he is struggling with grooming you right and pointing out your wrongs in a more constructive manner...both of you need to go and study what it means to be husband and wife according to the standards of your faith. Doing a wedding does not automatically make you husband and wife, you actually have to understand, appreciate and play the roles required of husbands and wives!

@bold:

Is it okay for a husband to be rude and uncouth to his wife?

bukatyne:


@bold:

Is it okay for a husband to be rude and uncouth to his wife?

Rude? Uncouth? She shouldn't have wedded him them...why didnt she do her due diligence to wed a man that can take her BS and be polite still, hunnn!?

If u kw u hate submission why bother about marriage. u can't challenge a man always n expect love no way except he is broke n jobless

You both have anger issues and ego problems.
Communication is the key in marriage, relationship.

I learn a lot and wish even though we will have issues, let it not pass midnight.
A principle I have tried and is working probably. Doesn't matter who's wrong or right.
You both need to talk it out.

Even as I plan to tie the knot, I pray not to be with the wrong person but some one who will not take advantage of me, domestic violence or whatever but someone we both share peace of mind together

AmazonTopaz:

Apostle Paul was speaking for himself and it is obvious you don't know the history of the bible.
I no longer believe in the bible.

I don't care about doing anything about it because it doesn't apply to me and many couples these days don't even bother with that line anymore because marriage is more than that. I believe in mutual submission and love I live in the 21st century and apostle Paul wasn't ssirecting his advice to me but the Ephesians

There's difference between sheeps and goats

In the body of Christ..

Enjoy

Both of you have a long way to go. But, you in particular, you are too saucy and you nag a lot. You need to work on how you talk to your husband.

AmazonTopaz:


The husband doesn't know how to communicate to her,the husband ignores her and keeps malice with her.

You skipped those bad sides of his to focus on her alone and what she did wrong which I wouldn't excuse but why do women like you know how to absorb men of blame?

Also @bolded parts,Using the word 'obey' for an adult doesn't seem right respect is the better word or listening which for me should apply to both of them.

Also what if the husband's decision is wrong the woman shouldn't voice her displeasure on it and correct him?she should always be a yes sir yes sir woman Ah

Call me modern or whatever but in a civilised household a husband should not make the final decision and always override his wife without getting to understand her view point.I don't understand that kind of marriage but as for me I have never submitted to rubbish.A woman can also have a final say at times because she can be right as well.

The writer does not require your type. All that she wants is advice and way forward to keep her home because it seems she still loves her husband and hence the need for people to pinpoint on her faults as written by her and to tell her what to do in order to safeguard her home.

Your type can never have a peaceful home and therefore, your advice is clearly unwanted because you can't give what you don't have.

abidem4real:

[s]The writer does not require your type. All that she wants is advice and way forward to keep her home because it seems she still loves her husband and hence the need for people to pinpoint on her faults as written by her and to tell her what to do in order to safeguard her home.

Your type can never have a peaceful home and therefore, your advice is clearly unwanted because you can't give what you don't have[/s].

Shut up