CharisEleos:
Hmm ..

That's one mistake I been avoiding for years now and even though I'm in my late 30s, I don't care because I feel it's better to be single and searching than to be in a marriage with a man Im not attracted to or vice versa.

I once asked a bro in my church who wanted to marry me (but I didn't find him attractive) if it's important or necessary as christians to have feelings for the lady or guy you wanna get married to and he said yes. So, I hope he understood that i didn't have feelings for him.

You shouldn't have married her because now you're committing a worst sin.

Learn to accept her the way she is.

Not entirely true. People change, their body adjusts as they grow older. I have seen some of my female course mates of 10 years ago, people I was "dying to be with" but today, they aren't too appealing anymore. In fact, I saw my ex of 10 years ago and o boy! She has over expanded.

I love them slim without too much flesh, the lady I hope to be with is slim, but I know very soon it won't be the same so I'm trying hard to see beyond the beauty so that when that time comes, I don't fall out of love.

As for me, I've basically improved in looks since then too, do a lot of exercise and added small flesh, I look fit but that cannot be said of the women in my age group.

yum01:
See guys I have erred and I am trying to do better . No matter how we see this I am at fault and I am not the type that blames the devil for anything , I take responsibility.
My first child is a girl and recently I imagined what I feel if her husband is treating her the way I am the mother .
I told my side chick the same day that ha m done, alto she is still begging but I don’t think my home is worth the bullshit I am doing .
I have erred and just trying to be better . Like some people said it has always been in me and waiting for when to manifest . We married virgins guys , I never double dated as a young man and now I wonder why I am like this .
I will do better.
Thanks a lot . I deserve whatever you throw at me here .

Ah.. oga Op, I'm sorry I didn't mean to throw shades at you but was only replying the moniker that mentioned me.

This thing is, the did is done and what you need now is self discipline and control to manage the situation. Otherwise you might live to regret it.

Now, from what you just divulged about being a virgin and not doing all that dating stuff is the major cause of your recent behavior because since you never had the chance to play the dating game, your body feels kinda "underdiscovered" and now seeks to discover and go into that adventure it was deprived of as a youth.

So now, you're doing what you ought to have done to satisfy your youthful exuberance before marriage at a wrong time.

Just pray to God for grace to lead a decent married life. It is easy in Jesus name.

CsRockefeller:


Not entirely true. People change, their body adjusts as they grow older. I have seen some of my female course mates of 10 years ago, people I was "dying to be with" but today, they aren't too appealing anymore. In fact, I saw my ex of 10 years ago and o boy! She has over expanded.

I love them slim without too much flesh, the lady I hope to be with is slim, but I know very soon it won't be the same so I'm trying hard to see beyond the beauty so that when that time comes, I don't fall out of love.

As for me, I've basically improved in looks since then too, do a lot of exercise and added small flesh, I look fit but that cannot be said of the women in my age group.

To you, you are working to keep shape but what you don't know is, no matter the amount of exercise you do, you can never look the same way you did ten years ago.

So for all you know, some of those girls may be viewing you differently and you may not really look that dashing to them like before .

CharisEleos:


To you, you are working to keep shape but what you don't know is, no matter the amount of exercise you do, you can never look the same way you did ten years ago.

So for all you know, some of those girls may be viewing you differently and you may not really look that dashing to them like before .

At least, we both agree on something.

I can bet you would find your wife attractive as soon as other guys begin to hit on her to your knowledge.

Can you sincerely ask her to go out and have fun with some other guy? Would you feel jealous of not?

Cheating is in you , accept that and have peace,it is not about your wife's physical attribute, it is about you.

Brolosho

yum01:
See guys I have erred and I am trying to do better . No matter how we see this I am at fault and I am not the type that blames the devil for anything , I take responsibility.
My first child is a girl and recently I imagined what I feel if her husband is treating her the way I am the mother .
I told my side chick the same day that ha m done, alto she is still begging but I don’t think my home is worth the bullshit I am doing .
I have erred and just trying to be better . Like some people said it has always been in me and waiting for when to manifest . We married virgins guys , I never double dated as a young man and now I wonder why I am like this .
I will do better.
Thanks a lot . I deserve whatever you throw at me here .

I like the fact that you acknowledge you are at fault,
The reason why you don't feel attracted to your wife is because of a decline in your spiritual Life.

Forget all those people telling you it's normal, it's not normal and it's a big sin, you violated one of the ten commandments.
Seek forgiveness from God, and go back to your spiritual Life, when looks doesn't matter, you would definitely feel peace.
You are a good man, that's why it hurts you when you are doing wrong, so stop the acts, be more spiritual and carry your wife along if she isn't, everything will be alright..

Rozcol:
Men are confused being,they lust after what they outrightly condemn in public.

No, Not confused but hypocrites, they condem runs babes but maintain them as side chicks.

loffyloffy:
The assumption that if you marry your specs everything after will turn out perfect is a mirage.

No matter who you marry, there will come a time when the attraction won't be like the courting days again, and that is when your commitment will be challenged.

Your marriage is what you make it, and choosing to appreciate and nourishing your wife is a choice.

When you appreciate her, you will see her appreciate in value.

Also don't be too prudish to not wanting to try out new things. Dresses , Toys, etc can really help to renew things between you and your wife.

The problem with cheating is that it never ends..you will find yourself moving from girls to girls...there is no end to it.. Until you catch a serious disease.

Cheat with your wife instead..drop the kids with your parents and book yourself and wife into an hotel for the weekend...you will be surprised at how hard your it can be

U too much.

Nazgul:
This is why I'm always of the opinion that both men and women should marry the kind of partner they crave for and not the ones they find themselves stuck with.

If your spec is chocolate girls, then by all means marry a chocolate girl.

If you cherish slim girls, marry a slim girl.

Cos if you marry someone outside your spec, sooner or later when all the lovey dovey in the marriage expires, you'll begin to feel empty and find yourself craving for that particular spec you cherish. This is where cheating come in and is also the major reason why most people cheat in marriages.

I know of a former course mate who married a short man, weeks to her wedding we were chatting on WhatsApp and she was complaining to me that she doesn't like the guy cos he's too short...shorter than her sef that she prefers guys with height. I was like, so why are you getting married to him if you don't like him, she them replied me that he was the only one nagging her about marriage, the rest just want sex, and she isn't getting any younger that's why she succumbed to his pressure and decided to marry him.

I don't need a prophet to tell me that she's going to cheat in her marriage when she runs into a cute tall guy who she sees everything she wants in.

So my dear op, you're the one I'll blame, never marry out of pity, if a girl or a guy isn't your taste, kindly end whatever it is you both have, don't deceive yourself into believing that things will get better once you get married. It will only get worse.

So those that love slim, tall beautiful girls and got them as mate their home is peaceful abi? And those ladies that prefers tall husband their home is perfect abi?

That your friend is a potential cheater am sure she must have cheated on poor husband by now.

You're literally on a thread of a man that has fallen in love with his mistress and you still made this comment!? Am guessing you copied this comment and couldn't wait to use it.

Ogbotobo77:

Let me reiterate . ...men can have sex detached and still love the wife at home....women on the other hand have to be emotionally invested to have sex..a woman that can have sex detached is labelled a HOE...she belongs to the street
Men are as faithful as their options...as a man progresses financially his pool of women also increase..cos women are hypergamous in nature and they chase the top 10% of men...now how do u expect a man to be faithful when the things that gives a man value takes years to achieve..while for a woman,she is born with value??

Mstick:
You're literally on a thread of a man that has fallen in love with his mistress and you still made this comment!? Am guessing you copied this comment from and couldn't wait to use it.

My post wasn't centered on him falling in love..rather it's on why men have an abundance mindset and why loyalty is relative for both men and women