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RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? - Romance - Nairaland

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My girlfriend said Don't Use Condom / Once Your Crush Starts Doing ANY Of These Things – You'll Soon Be Friend Zoned. / I Asked Her Out, But She Said Let's Just Be Friends (2) (3) (4)

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RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 7:20pm On Jun 19, 2021
So recently a girl that I had something for tried to Friendzon me... but offering me the "Let's just be friends thing"

I told her NO... I can't be just friends with her and I don't do just friends with a woman I want something with, which she had known long before now. What I want is what I want and I know what I want.

I told her to stick to her decision and I will sort myself out...

She then asks me "are you sure you will sort out yourself"? Honestly, this question made me confused and I do not know why she would care about that. But I refused to reply to her after that. There was no reply from me and I considered everything should end, while I cut ties with her.

I deleted everything about her and chose to move on.

I know a lot of men would accept the friendship offer and some people might say I should have accepted to be just her friend but the truth is, accepting it means accepting to be friend zoned forever and you will NEVER get out of it. Being just friends means she selfishly just wants all the goodies you bring without you touching her.

It is better to walk away with your shoulder high than allow that.

Did I reject her offer because I didn't really like her? I actually do like it her but know that it is hard to convince these women about your intentions. the more you do, the more they think otherwise.

Would rejecting her offer turn the table in my favour? I doubt because I have never heard any man turned it after reaching this stage and that means I should move on forever and not look back. But if you know any guy or story in which the man successfully turn the table after rejecting the "just be friend" offer, feel free to share it here.

Also, accepting her friendship offer is of more value to her and none to me. It expands her options and grants me none. I would rather reduce that option by 1 than make it 2.

But what it does for me is, it will change how she views me for sure, even if she does not admit it. A girl telling you she just wants to be friends means, she views you in a certain way and me rejecting it would do justice to whatever she thought of me by reversing that image.

So, that is it...

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Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by doggedfighter(f): 7:36pm On Jun 19, 2021
How does she view you?
Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by MikeofKd(m): 7:48pm On Jun 19, 2021
I once had a girl tell me the phrase "let's just be friends Michael" I told her it was suicidal to be just friends with someone you truly love ,called it a quit ,bitch was upset cause I started rolling with other prettier girls immediately she still stares at me till today in school.

But the d boy so brilliant he doesn't have a F to give . My grades on fleek ,no carry overs, insha Allah till I graduate ,still dey 300L , swagger on point ,account balance be like phone number ,my shoes super dope ,my drip they make girls wet ,got a fridge at my hostel and a plasma, with cartoons of Indomie and eggs ,drinks yakpa as well ,from whiskey to spirit ,weed sef dey from sk to loud to Arizona , lol bitch is truly regretting now but its too late .

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Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by ageraGT: 8:18pm On Jun 19, 2021
MikeofKd:
I once had a girl tell me the phrase "let's just be friends Michael" I told her it was suicidal to be just friends with someone you truly love ,called it a quit ,bitch was upset cause I started rolling with other prettier girls immediately she still stares at me till today in school.

But the d boy so brilliant he doesn't have a F to give . My grades on fleek ,no carry overs, insha Allah till I graduate ,still dey 300L , swagger on point ,account balance be like phone number ,my shoes super dope ,my drip they make girls wet ,got a fridge at my hostel and a plasma, with cartoons of Indomie and eggs ,drinks yakpa as well ,from whiskey to spirit ,weed sef dey from sk to loud to Arizona , lol bitch is truly regretting now but its too late .

5 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by Nobody: 8:26pm On Jun 19, 2021
Una head don dey correct small small cheesy cheesy

5 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by OlayemiAshraf(m): 8:54pm On Jun 19, 2021
MikeofKd:
I

But the d boy so brilliant he doesn't have a F to give . My grades on fleek ,no carry overs, insha Allah till I graduate ,still dey 300L , swagger on point ,account balance be like phone number ,my shoes super dope ,my drip they make girls wet ,got a fridge at my hostel and a plasma, with cartoons of Indomie and eggs ,drinks yakpa as well ,from whiskey to spirit ,weed sef dey from sk to loud to Arizona , lol bitch is truly regretting now but its too late .
mAh nigga grin oya take one Heineken grin

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by Agricaddict(m): 9:05pm On Jun 19, 2021
MikeofKd:
I once had a girl tell me the phrase "let's just be friends Michael" I told her it was suicidal to be just friends with someone you truly love ,called it a quit ,bitch was upset cause I started rolling with other prettier girls immediately she still stares at me till today in school.

But the d boy so brilliant he doesn't have a F to give . My grades on fleek ,no carry overs, insha Allah till I graduate ,still dey 300L , swagger on point ,account balance be like phone number ,my shoes super dope ,my drip they make girls wet ,got a fridge at my hostel and a plasma, with cartoons of Indomie and eggs ,drinks yakpa as well ,from whiskey to spirit ,weed sef dey from sk to loud to Arizona , lol bitch is truly regretting now but its too late .



How do you know she's regretting it, it almost shows you still think about her very much

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Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 9:40pm On Jun 19, 2021
doggedfighter:
How does she view you?
I thought I had replied this.

Well, when a woman says she just wants to be friends, even when she knows you want her, it often boils down to how she sees that guy.

There are many reasons: perhaps the guy has let himself down too much... By being too friendly and available. Women don't rate such guys...

It could also be he does not exude some masculinity...

But it will shock u to know that this girl talked about here was once wanting me to be closer to her and complained about my withdrawal... Which was a trap. When I drew closer, she was now the one that withdrew.

So that may have been the problem...

4 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by Jack005(m): 9:46pm On Jun 19, 2021
OP, you did the right thing.. A couple of weeks back a girl I like also tried to friend zone me, but I had to let her know that I'm not in for such albeit through my actions . I cant invest my time and attention on a fruitless journey.

8 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 10:13pm On Jun 19, 2021
Agricaddict:




How do you know she's regretting it, it almost shows you still think about her very much
yes, some girls are in silent mode... But won't tell you.
Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 10:14pm On Jun 19, 2021
Jack005:
OP, you did the right thing.. A couple of weeks back a girl I like also tried to friend zone me, but I had to let her know that I'm not in for such albeit through my actions . I cant invest my time and attention on a fruitless journey.
what was her response or reaction when you rejected her friendship offer?
Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by tened86148: 3:52am On Jun 20, 2021
cool
doggedfighter:
How does she view you?
Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by Jack005(m): 4:55am On Jun 20, 2021
remedick:
what was her response or reaction when you rejected her friendship offer?
She became upset of course, I mean very upset because she started complaining bitterly and started hanging up calls on me. When she suggested we became friends ,I just said OK, but then I stopped calling or texting her, before then we speak and text everyday, although she calls me more than I do call her, but our communication was top notch, all the signs were there... This is a girl that couldn't stay a day without speaking with me.. In fact if I also do not call her for a day, she gets angry,all the green lights she showed, but when i popped up the question with high expectations she decided to friend zone me.. Like WTF!

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Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 5:46am On Jun 20, 2021
Jack005:
She became upset of course, I mean very upset because she started complaining bitterly and started hanging up calls on me. When she suggested we became friends ,I just said OK, but then I stopped calling or texting her, before then we speak and text everyday, although she calls me more than I do call her, but our communication was top notch, all the signs were there... This is a girl that couldn't stay a day without speaking with me.. In fact if I also do not call her for a day, she gets angry,all the green lights she showed, but when i popped up the question with high expectations she decided to friend zone me.. Like WTF!

This is exactly what happened to me. She gave me all the lights. There was even a time she asked me if I am withdrawing. i asked why such a question and she said because I took time to reply to her texts. Do you see?

Another time she said she made her hair and would love to show me. I said okay, send me the pics and let me see.. and she did. You see again?

She has always known that I like her. In fact, she started saying someone is falling in love and called me loverboy for a while...

There are more that I could write but initially, she wanted my attention really bad and when I eventually gave it, she withdrew...

Like in your own case, she felt bad. She felt bad because she would have loved to put you in that friend zone for the mere fun of watching you give her all the attention and girlfriend treaties without touching her.

Rejecting that "just friends" offer breaks that power and reduces her options. It is like a table with two legs on the right and two legs on the left to give stability and balance. Those legs represent you and another guy in her pool of options. So when you reject it, you end up destroying the table legs on either the left side or right side... which will make the table lose balance and stability, and whatever was placed (her confidence, her pride, her guts, her control, etc) on the table will fall. This is why they don't like it when you reject the friendship offer.

It bruises their ego exactly the same way their rejection of dating you bruise your own ego. So It is fair.

In my own case, after I had written that I will not accept her offer and will respectfully grant her choice because it is her right, I said "I will sort myself out" she replied "Are you sure you will sort yourself out?" Why is that important and why is she asking?

Of course, she didn't like the fact that I was leaving as suggested by my messages or the fact that I rejected her offer. But I had to do that cos accepting her offer is of no value to me, absolutely none but it is more of value to her. It will boost her ego, boost her pride, her guts, it will make her feel so special about herself and makes her feel powerful but rejecting it deflates those emotions in her. It made her feel she too can be rejected and that I am I can actually do away with her, contrary to the idea I am all over her (I actually made her felt that way lol).

It may not sink in immediately cos pride is a powerful thing. But as days go by, she would start thinking : "so this guy really mean to leave me?"

What will I do next? I would move out and get other girls, not for dating but just friends, hang out more with them until I have completely forgotten about this current girl.

7 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by Jack005(m): 8:09am On Jun 20, 2021
remedick:


This is exactly what happened to me. She gave me all the lights. There was even a time she asked me if I am withdrawing. i asked why such a question and she said because I took time to reply to her texts. Do you see?

Another time she said she made her hair and would love to show me. I said okay, send me the pics and let me see.. and she did. You see again?

She has always known that I like her. In fact, she started saying someone is falling in love and called me loverboy for a while...

There are more that I could write but initially, she wanted my attention really bad and when I eventually gave it, she withdrew...

Like in your own case, she felt bad. She felt bad because she would have loved to put you in that friend zone for the mere fun of watching you give her all the attention and girlfriend treaties without touching her.

Rejecting that "just friends" offer breaks that power and reduces her options. It is like a table with two legs on the right and two legs on the left to give stability and balance. Those legs represent you and another guy in her pool of options. So when you reject it, you end up destroying the table legs on either the left side or right side... which will make the table lose balance and stability, and whatever was placed (her confidence, her pride, her guts, her control, etc) on the table will fall. This is why they don't like it when you reject the friendship offer.

It bruises their ego exactly the same way their rejection of dating you bruise your own ego. So It is fair.

In my own case, after I had written that I will not accept her offer and will respectfully grant her choice because it is her right, I said "I will sort myself out" she replied "Are you sure you will sort yourself out?" Why is that important and why is she asking?

Of course, she didn't like the fact that I was leaving as suggested by my messages or the fact that I rejected her offer. But I had to do that cos accepting her offer is of no value to me, absolutely none but it is more of value to her. It will boost her ego, boost her pride, her guts, it will make her feel so special about herself and makes her feel powerful but rejecting it deflates those emotions in her. It made her feel she too can be rejected and that I am I can actually do away with her, contrary to the idea I am all over her (I actually made her felt that way lol).

It may not sink in immediately cos pride is a powerful thing. But as days go by, she would start thinking : "so this guy really mean to leave me?"

What will I do next? I would move out and get other girls, not for dating but just friends, hang out more with them until I have completely forgotten about this current girl.
In a nutshell,Don’t beg for her to give you a chance, EVER. She made a conscious decision to not be anything more than friends with you. You must play with the irrational, illogical side of her personality. You’ll do much better if you start putting less focus on her and more focus on you. That's how it ought to be and I'm glad you are taking such steps. By the way, when last did you guys speak? Mine called some days back and before ending the call "she said she wanted to hear from me as i've decided not to call again.. I replied thanks for the call,lol.

3 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by johnkey: 9:55am On Jun 20, 2021
Real nigga. the only hoes I talk to are the ones I'm fücking, if we are not fücking or about to fück then we have nothing you say to each other ever.

3 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 10:07am On Jun 20, 2021
Jack005:
In a nutshell,Don’t beg for her to give you a chance, EVER. She made a conscious decision to not be anything more than friends with you. You must play with the irrational, illogical side of her personality. You’ll do much better if you start putting less focus on her and more focus on you. That's how it ought to be and I'm glad you are taking such steps. By the way, when last did you guys speak? Mine called some days back and before ending the call "she said she wanted to hear from me as I've decided not to call again.. I replied thanks for the call, lol.


Good... she is just looking for your attention because you probably gave it to her while she didn't get much from other guys. So, she is trying to make you feel that she still likes you and wants you around. LIES! If you make mistake to ask her out again on the basis of that, she will REJECT YOU!

Now looking at your own case, I am glad I left an impression that she should ONLY reach out to me IF she changes her mind.

While this might feel like I am waiting for her because I can't get it from someone else or that I am trying to be manipulating or force her to do my will, the main reason is that It will help me avoid what your own girl is trying to do with you through that call. I had to do this because, from experience, THEY ALWAYS COME BACK seeking your attention again (just as your has done), hoping that you will be available to grease their attention vacuum machine

It is a filter to avoid someone coming back in the hope that she can toy with my feelings again when she truly does not want me romantically. So, there is no point in hanging out and deceiving me.

I made it clear do not call or reach out EXCEPT you change your mind because I have decided not to communicate with her again as it seems my decision to draw close to her when she wanted me to do exactly that has been converted into making it look like I was the needy one all along.

Oh, mine happened days ago... which means, mine is recent and I have not even replied that her question: "Are you sure you will sort yourself out"? I read it and never replied before I deleted everything. She has not called and we have not communicated since then.

I know she would be shocked to see this side of me. She wasn't expecting me to reject her offer and hoped I would accept in desperation. She probably felt she has that power and has had me where she wants because, I started acting that way, like messaging her, being overly friendly, calling her weekly, and all that. Girls don't like such, even if they act initially that they won't disregard it... they ALWAYS do take it for granted. Scarcity is more valuable here. So, the lesser the presence, the fonder the heart.

What she didn't know was that I was very much in control of my emotions and wasn't acting like a teen. I only did all that because of how we started and even when she had withdrawn, I still tried to spice things up. I am someone that is very consistent and I love to reciprocate. I didn't see the need to avoid her when she wanted us to draw closer to each other.

It was like a case of someone wanting you but now turn to be acting like you are the needy one instead mutual effort that you guys started with. Such bullshit!

I do like her for real because of prospect and career orientation but not the way she was thinking it like I can't do without her or that I was some emotionally desperate guy.

5 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 10:13am On Jun 20, 2021
Jack005:
By the way, when last did you guys speak? Mine called some days back and before ending the call "she said she wanted to hear from me as i've decided not to call again.. I replied thanks for the call,lol.
What was the duration between when you rejected her "just friend" offer and when she made that call?

1 Like

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by blinking001(m): 10:17am On Jun 20, 2021
Op ya smart
Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by Jack005(m): 10:36am On Jun 20, 2021
remedick:
What was the duration between when you rejected her "just friend" offer and when she made that call?
Three days after.

1 Like

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by Privatepart00: 10:36am On Jun 20, 2021
Yes I can be just friends with a girl if actually I want same. Not when I approached you for ministry kpanishing you telling me “let’s just be friends”
Funny enough, most times I am seeing a girl, no word comes from my lips about dating or not.Before she knows I have kpanish and on the road again.

3 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by danietohbadt(m): 10:51am On Jun 20, 2021
OP, oil dey your head walahi
Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 11:32am On Jun 20, 2021
Jack005:
Three days after.
good sign... I don't expect mine to be 3 days lol.. it could be months later due to due impression i gave. but whatever it, I bet that I would have completely forgotten her sooner. So, It is all good.
Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 11:41am On Jun 20, 2021
Privatepart00:
Yes I can be just friends with a girl if actually I want same. Not when I approached you for ministry kpanishing you telling me “let’s just be friends”
Funny enough, most times I am seeing a girl, no word comes from my lips about dating or not.Before she knows I have kpanish and on the road again.
That is how they like it actually. They like being treated like a whoreee.

For example...

Boy A to girl: You are an amazing lady that I will like to spend time with in the future. The most gorgeous my eyes have ever seen. He does this so often...

Boy B to same girl: Look at those ass...boobs so round and I feel like placing my tongues on there. she smiles and laugh... after a while, he disappears and reappears.

She will prefer boy B to boy A. Why? Boy B tends to make her feel sexual desired but A doesn't. That is why when you talk dirty with most girls, chances of banging her if you can sexually arouse her within that chat or period is over 80%. That is why they have guys who they are not dating banging them so often cos the guy actually does not want anything to do with them apart from bringing out that bittch out and banging the hell out of it.

6 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by Jack005(m): 11:44am On Jun 20, 2021
remedick:
good sign... I don't expect mine to be 3 days lol.. it could be months later due to due impression i gave. but whatever it, I bet that I would have completely forgotten her sooner. So, It is all good.
it depends on the level of her pride, you know women always want to be on the winning side when it comes to matters like this. In furtherance to that, you went straight to the point, you hit the nail on the head by letting how know what you really want from her.. In my own case I just let my actions do the talking...Lets see how it pans out.

2 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by JOACHINpedro: 11:53am On Jun 20, 2021
Privatepart00:
Yes I can be just friends with a girl if actually I want same. Not when I approached you for ministry kpanishing you telling me “let’s just be friends”
Funny enough, most times I am seeing a girl, no word comes from my lips about dating or not.Before she knows I have kpanish and on the road again.
I am like this too.
Some are good for friendship. Even when she wan level am up na you go insisit say na that friend zone sure pass.



Some ladies have more than qussies to offer
Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by Executer: 12:10pm On Jun 20, 2021
MikeofKd:
I once had a girl tell me the phrase "let's just be friends Michael" I told her it was suicidal to be just friends with someone you truly love ,called it a quit ,bitch was upset cause I started rolling with other prettier girls immediately she still stares at me till today in school.

But the d boy so brilliant he doesn't have a F to give . My grades on fleek ,no carry overs, insha Allah till I graduate ,still dey 300L , swagger on point ,account balance be like phone number ,my shoes super dope ,my drip they make girls wet ,got a fridge at my hostel and a plasma, with cartoons of Indomie and eggs ,drinks yakpa as well ,from whiskey to spirit ,weed sef dey from sk to loud to Arizona , lol bitch is truly regretting now but its too late .
The delusion...you won't fit into everybody's ideal.deal with it
Even the world richest man would still have a lot of ladies who won't fancy him.quit all this chest beating all because a lady told you no

3 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 12:12pm On Jun 20, 2021
Jack005:
it depends on the level of her pride, you know women always want to be on the winning side when it comes to matters like this. In furtherance to that, you went straight to the point, you hit the nail on the head by letting how know what you really want from her.. In my own case I just let my actions do the talking...Lets see how it pans out.
In that case, ONLY make her do the work in this case. Let her chase you to a certain extent before you make any move and when you make such move NEVER verbally ask her out again.

Yes, a friend actually said I shouldn't have announced my exit and that I should do it your way--let my silence do the talking and that it works better.

However, in my own case, I knew that she was already feeling that I am too available (quite the contrary at the beginning) and her perception of me has waned, which wasn't the case when we started.

Me being outspoken is a plus because I would want to wipe that image in her mind.

Firstly, I outrightly rejected her offer. secondly, I stated what I want from her BOLDLY and that I want nothing more or less.

Thirdly, I made it clear that I have to respect her wish as I do not want to be perceived as a pest. Meaning, I am not gonna be available anymore and I would not be asking again, else she would think I am pestering her. This also means: "girl, even if I was being overly present, I can still discard you and do away with you."

Fourthly, I gave her a condition on reaching out only if she changes her mind so as to prevent any stupid mind game....

All these will be uselessly wasted IF I still reach out to her after saying all that because I have spoken so confidently and boldly and the best thing to do now is never reaching out to her EXCEPT she does it herself.

In my own case, it is very important that I do not reach out because, for some time, I had been the one initiating chats, which was not the case when we started... Do you get it?

Now, I have to sit back and prove that I really MEAN my words by STICKING to them, which is why even a week is not sure that she will reach out based on the circumstance. She would want to really see IF i mean those words.

It is not a case of being arrogant because a girl offered me just friends. It is about the image/perception which led to that.

4 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 12:16pm On Jun 20, 2021
Executer:

The delusion...you won't fit into everybody's ideal.deal with it
Even the world richest man would still have a lot of ladies who won't fancy him.quit all this chest beating all because a lady told you no
But he is already dealing with it he knows how to na...

You don't know the reason for her rejecting him. It could have been on financial grounds. I have been there before so I know why the OP felt that way. grin

Has girl ever stopped picking your call after the first meeting/outing? That was my situation... years later, she tried to reconnect but I just played her left and right but never truly accepted her.
Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by stanliwise(m): 12:21pm On Jun 20, 2021
remedick:
So recently a girl that I had something for tried to Friendzon me... but offering me the "Let's just be friends thing"

I told her NO... I can't be just friends with her and I don't do just friends with a woman I want something with, which she had known long before now. What I want is what I want and I know what I want.

I told her to stick to her decision and I will sort myself out...

She then asks me "are you sure you will sort out yourself"? Honestly, this question made me confused and I do not know why she would care about that. But I refused to reply to her after that. There was no reply from me and I considered everything should end, while I cut ties with her.

I deleted everything about her and chose to move on.

I know a lot of men would accept the friendship offer and some people might say I should have accepted to be just her friend but the truth is, accepting it means accepting to be friend zoned forever and you will NEVER get out of it. Being just friends means she selfishly just wants all the goodies you bring without you touching her.

It is better to walk away with your shoulder high than allow that.

Did I reject her offer because I didn't really like her? I actually do like it her but know that it is hard to convince these women about your intentions. the more you do, the more they think otherwise.

Would rejecting her offer turn the table in my favour? I doubt because I have never heard any man turned it after reaching this stage and that means I should move on forever and not look back. But if you know any guy or story in which the man successfully turn the table after rejecting the "just be friend" offer, feel free to share it here.

Also, accepting her friendship offer is of more value to her and none to me. It expands her options and grants me none. I would rather reduce that option by 1 than make it 2.

But what it does for me is, it will change how she views me for sure, even if she does not admit it. A girl telling you she just wants to be friends means, she views you in a certain way and me rejecting it would do justice to whatever she thought of me by reversing that image.

So, that is it...
Yeah it’s cool you told her you don’t want just friendship but don’t show aggression towards it.

2 Likes

Re: RANT: She Said Don't You Think We Should Just Be Friend? by remedick: 12:41pm On Jun 20, 2021
stanliwise:

Yeah it’s cool you told her you don’t want just friendship but don’t show aggression towards it.
Yeah, I wasn't showing aggression in a way, Though it might seem that way but the truth is, I was just trying as much as possible to make her see that I wasn't playing games grin

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