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After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags - Romance - Nairaland

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After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by mugnmuffin(f): 11:53am On Jun 23
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

64 Likes 15 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by aanuoluwami14(f): 11:59am On Jun 23
Broken relationship is better than broken marriage. Talk to him better. I don't see any joy in not happy in a relationship.

273 Likes 15 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Bola146(f): 12:01pm On Jun 23
I don't really get your points. Which God? Is he worshipping something else?! Seriously I don't get it. Maybe you should ask yourself what is causing the confusion sad

1427 Likes 91 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Ahmed0336(m): 12:01pm On Jun 23
angry
Do you mean him being a Catholic is a big deal or what?

You have two options
1. Manage am like that and marry him.

2. Look for someone you think fits your spiritual life and marry.


But remember this, NOT ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD.

488 Likes 16 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by zed7: 12:03pm On Jun 23
If your only complaint is that he isn't a fanatic then you have no problem.
A well behaved moralist is better off than a religious fanatic without morals.

1400 Likes 94 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by derbykol(f): 12:04pm On Jun 23
Still pray more.Intro is not marriage,it can be called off.

41 Likes 7 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Kondomatic(m): 12:08pm On Jun 23
If you're as dedicated and spiritual as you claim to be then having him on your side wouldn't be a problem.


53 Likes 4 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by DDDEnterprises: 12:09pm On Jun 23
I'm sorry oo.
But isn't he also a "Christian"?
I'm only asking to learn please not to spite.

233 Likes 5 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Blakjewelry(m): 12:20pm On Jun 23
Bola146:
I don't really get your points. Which God? Is he worshipping something else?! Seriously I don't get it.
Surprise, surprise e no get wetin person no go see. It's annoying when you see a Christian look another Christian as inferior. the question is who is the judge in this her case

733 Likes 29 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Tloc(m): 12:22pm On Jun 23
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

My dear young lady, that path of religious piety which you assume you on is your step to DOOM. Stay woke and refine your RELIGIOUS views to be in tandem with contemporary life realities and grow your inert spirituality. Be far away from religious extremism and you would live a more fulfilled LIFE. I am sure that young man's mind and soul is purer than all your Pentecostal pastors' put together. Shalom.

949 Likes 52 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by PrimeWatermark: 12:24pm On Jun 23
Hehehehehehehe
Is that all?

Don't worry, you'll soon jam a wolf in sheep's clothing. Then you'll know how far.

It's not even as if the man is a traditionalist, atheist or pagan.
Creating a problem where there is none. Let them be decieving you with 'Do not be unequally yoked'.

Religion shaa

651 Likes 28 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Blakjewelry(m): 12:27pm On Jun 23
PrimeWatermark:
Hehehehehehehe

Is that all?
Lol she actually sounds like my girlfriend

155 Likes 9 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Teeboy15(m): 12:39pm On Jun 23
You're not yet ready to get married. Seriousness is faaaaar from you.
Like someone said, that young man's heart is purer than all your motivational pentecostal preachers put together.

Infact, purer than yours inclusive.

I just pity him for trying to make a mistake by marrying your type.

Pretender

746 Likes 39 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Twelfthman: 12:50pm On Jun 23
Aren't we all worshiping same God in different ways. I wonder why Christians look down on each other.
Woman you have got no problem. Don't give yourself problem.
Come look at a Christian and Muslim get married and live happy together.
Their kids very much appreciate both religion and each choose from either the dad's religion or the mom.
When Bible said my people perish for lack of knowledge, those words I tell u are deep

250 Likes 15 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Raalsalghul: 12:51pm On Jun 23
Can someone tell what the red flags are?

127 Likes 2 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by jaeyking(m): 12:52pm On Jun 23
After the first paragraph I just realized that you are NOT SERIOUS
so when you were a Catholic you were not saved, you got saved in a pentecostal church
Hmmm madam till you meet lion before u go know wetin dey xup

562 Likes 30 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Macsjebs(m): 12:57pm On Jun 23
God will take control

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by francdec4(m): 1:02pm On Jun 23
So for you Catholics are not "saved". I really wish this guy who you claim to love and ticked all the boxes of what you desire in marriage will read this your write-up and withdraw cos it's obvious you are not even serious. If you really want to be so serious and your complaint is that he is not supporting or joining you in that lane inside the same catholic church then that it's different but labelling him not serious with his faith simply because he is Catholic is unacceptable. Join charismatic in the Catholic Church or any other pious societies in Catholic church of your choice and enkindle your faith as you desire but please and please just let him be and let him remain a Catholic as he desire...the land looks greener the other end till you get there and realise what you have lost.

325 Likes 14 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by rosalieene(f): 1:13pm On Jun 23
lol lol
So in your words Catholics are not born again. cheesy cheesy
Pls leave that young man let him look for a proper wife.
Go and marry one of your Pentecostal brethren, it's not so hard.

540 Likes 30 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by JoeSoapy: 1:17pm On Jun 23
From your write up i can tell you are a confused lady. Keep waiting my sister, your fake religious man will show up

255 Likes 11 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by binary007: 1:23pm On Jun 23
You dated for 3 years and you are just getting convinced that he isn't the one after introduction?

172 Likes 6 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by TalkTalkTwins(m): 1:38pm On Jun 23
Better now than later...

But we're serving the same God right?
Oh... I forgot

He's serving the Catholic God, while you're serving the Pentecostal God

What am I even saying?

222 Likes 11 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by infogenius(m): 1:40pm On Jun 23
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

Good u're seeing properly now and not when you are married.

If u're not spiritually connected, kindly end the relationship.
Spirituality is far more important than physical attributes.

If only many youths can see this way before getting married

42 Likes 10 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Eduboy1990: 1:41pm On Jun 23
Get what she is saying born again child of God is different from normal Christian or church goers so try to understand
Bola146:
I don't really get your points. Which God? Is he worshipping something else?! Seriously I don't get it.

30 Likes 9 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Eduboy1990: 1:44pm On Jun 23
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
my advice is if you can change him ,go ahead with the marriage , since you are a female I believe you can do it with power of GOD,but if he is a male please quit the marriage, because a woman can change a man but a man can never change a woman

6 Likes 3 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by donephi(m): 1:54pm On Jun 23
Talk to him about it. You can get him born again.

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by manuel4real(m): 2:08pm On Jun 23
grin

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by manuel4real(m): 2:09pm On Jun 23
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. [b]We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life. [\b]

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
you're the problem here

89 Likes 7 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Johnsown1(m): 2:10pm On Jun 23
Please don't marry him, he is not your other half. Because Catholics are not christains and Pentecostals are the true christains. Fast for 80 days for cleansing then ask one of your pastors to marry you since they are closer to your God. Shalom

334 Likes 11 Shares

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Biglittlelois(f): 2:12pm On Jun 23
Your church denomination will never take you to heaven, on judgement day, God will not ask for the name of your church, He is after your heart, mind, spirit, and soul,

If your man isn't spiritually inclined as you'd like, guide him through the right path with love and prayer, most couples are never on the same page spiritually, they grow along the line,

Don't loose a good man because of what you are been fed in your church, there are good and bad people in every denomination.

172 Likes 13 Shares

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