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How Would You Handle This, As A Woman? - Nairaland / General (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How Would You Handle This, As A Woman? by peacefull(f): 1:56am On Jul 16, 2021
purples25:


Hi peacefull. Glad you showed concern.

There are some guys that try to harass me in my area. I have taken action on their bad behavior, so that it would stop.

I also come out less and avoid them more, apart from reporting them to authorities.

So I'm okay now.

Some guys try to harass you?!
Please avoid them. This is scary.

Sorry, I read it, But I'm still can't understand very well.
Because of how you dress making them harass you?

Of course! I'm worry about you.
You are my good friend!!
I really hope they will stop harass you and you are safe.

2 Likes

Re: How Would You Handle This, As A Woman? by purples25(f): 9:57am On Jul 16, 2021
peacefull:


Some guys try to harass you?!
Please avoid them. This is scary.

Sorry, I read it, But I'm still can't understand very well.
Because of how you dress making them harass you?

Of course! I'm worry about you.
You are my good friend!!
I really hope they will stop harass you and you are safe.



How I dress is different from their standard of decency. We live different lifestyles. Hence they despise/dislike me. So they try to disrespect me.

I'll be safe, my good friend. Don't worry dear.
Re: How Would You Handle This, As A Woman? by peacefull(f): 4:23pm On Jul 16, 2021
purples25:


How I dress is different from their standard of decency. We live different lifestyles. Hence they despise/dislike me. So they try to disrespect me.

I'll be safe, my good friend. Don't worry dear.

embarassed
I understand now.

Please don't be feel so down. Please.
No matter how you dress. You are my good friend!!
I will never forget about how much you made me soooo happy with your art!!
And when my place had earthquake, you asked me if I'm ok.
I'm still really appreciate you!

You are a really good person! Really gentle person!
I want you to always be happy!!

I don't know them. But I don't like mean person!! angry
Who is mean to my good friend purple chan?!(*`Д´)ノ

Please stay safe!

4 Likes

Re: How Would You Handle This, As A Woman? by zexy2030(m): 5:39am On Aug 10, 2021
purples25:
I live in a good, comfortable neighborhood. The majority of people that live there are rich Muslim Hausa's. Due to their lifestyle, most of them see a woman that opens her hair, gets into any male's car, walks with a guy down the street, dates without being secretive, or generally isn't their tribe, as a LovePeddler. They hardly have good attitudes towards others who are not of their tribe/lifestyle.

They are the ones handling every store in my area. Due to their mindset, I, amongst others, have gotten disrespected by those selling things in the area. They are unrepentant. The last time one of them said something lewd about me in my presence, the matter was taken up by a powerful neighbor. The Hausa's apologized to the neighbor but started a deadly malice with me. They did not apologize to me. They also told me not to buy from them or greet them. They, not considering that they are supposed to be devoted Muslims, even kept the malice throughout Ramadan.

Till today, I have to walk far to buy my things, because the mallam at the gate won't sell to me. He has also forcefully taken the role of security. Neighbors had meetings to root him out due to his generally rude nature, but this man went and built a cement foundation for his shop while an open meeting was being held for his removal.

I didn't go further on this because as those handling our security, and me being of a different tribe, I may be in danger. The mallam brings a mass of wandering sellers or poor Hausa's or Fulani's to our gate, and these people could turn on me anytime as they share the mindset that I amongst the inferior who are not their tribe.

At the closest mall, which the Hausa's also control, trouble is also brewing. I have gone there with my brother a few times to buy things, laughing and chatting along the way. My brother is tall and lanky and could pass for my boyfriend. They took it upon themselves to spread rumors about me being indecent from there, which led to more than the usual harassment I face from men around the area. I couldn't do anything about this. However, the male staff started one thing where they rub their hands on my body when talking to me. Then they grin at each other while doing that. It seems to be an inside joke with them.

I don't want to turn everyone to my enemy in my area. I want to be able to buy things. I am generally a peaceful person and I hate to cause a scene or make enemies. The last time I reported misconduct, I was barred from buying things. This time too, I am afraid, because the hausa people at the mall know the hausa people selling at my gate. This may be a matter of life and security to me.

I am really angry about this. I plan to go to the mall today and warn them. If not, being a calm person, I may continue not to react and stop going to this mall close by, which would be stressful for me, as I will have to go farther to buy things.

As a woman, how would you handle this? By the way, this post is not tribalistic. I am part Fulani, in fact.

One way to win in the north and make more friends: just two(2) tools, it works anywhere in the north.

Be a hypocritically religious person.

Speak the language often.

Just see how their attitude will change soon towards you.

Don't forget to thank me later.

1 Like

Re: How Would You Handle This, As A Woman? by Thatssobeyonce(f): 8:51am On Dec 17, 2021
purples25:
I live in a good, comfortable neighborhood. The majority of people that live there are rich Muslim Hausa's. Due to their lifestyle, most of them see a woman that opens her hair, gets into any male's car, walks with a guy down the street, dates without being secretive, or generally isn't their tribe, as a LovePeddler. They hardly have good attitudes towards others who are not of their tribe/lifestyle.

They are the ones handling every store in my area. Due to their mindset, I, amongst others, have gotten disrespected by those selling things in the area. They are unrepentant. The last time one of them said something lewd about me in my presence, the matter was taken up by a powerful neighbor. The Hausa's apologized to the neighbor but started a deadly malice with me. They did not apologize to me. They also told me not to buy from them or greet them. They, not considering that they are supposed to be devoted Muslims, even kept the malice throughout Ramadan.

Till today, I have to walk far to buy my things, because the mallam at the gate won't sell to me. He has also forcefully taken the role of security. Neighbors had meetings to root him out due to his generally rude nature, but this man went and built a cement foundation for his shop while an open meeting was being held for his removal.

I didn't go further on this because as those handling our security, and me being of a different tribe, I may be in danger. The mallam brings a mass of wandering sellers or poor Hausa's or Fulani's to our gate, and these people could turn on me anytime as they share the mindset that I amongst the inferior who are not their tribe.

At the closest mall, which the Hausa's also control, trouble is also brewing. I have gone there with my brother a few times to buy things, laughing and chatting along the way. My brother is tall and lanky and could pass for my boyfriend. They took it upon themselves to spread rumors about me being indecent from there, which led to more than the usual harassment I face from men around the area. I couldn't do anything about this. However, the male staff started one thing where they rub their hands on my body when talking to me. Then they grin at each other while doing that. It seems to be an inside joke with them.

I don't want to turn everyone to my enemy in my area. I want to be able to buy things. I am generally a peaceful person and I hate to cause a scene or make enemies. The last time I reported misconduct, I was barred from buying things. This time too, I am afraid, because the hausa people at the mall know the hausa people selling at my gate. This may be a matter of life and security to me.

I am really angry about this. I plan to go to the mall today and warn them. If not, being a calm person, I may continue not to react and stop going to this mall close by, which would be stressful for me, as I will have to go farther to buy things.

As a woman, how would you handle this? By the way, this post is not tribalistic. I am part Fulani, in fact.

You are part fulani? Lol yet u let their B.S get to u? Lol Stay strong and focus on yourself dear, Ur life is too precious for u to feel bullied or intimidated by others. Just keep ur distance from them and if it escalates for ur own safety move elsewhere. Some pple have no humanity left in them

1 Like

Re: How Would You Handle This, As A Woman? by purples25(f): 12:07pm On Dec 17, 2021
Thatssobeyonce:

You are part fulani? Lol yet u let their B.S get to u? Lol Stay strong and focus on yourself dear, Ur life is too precious for u to feel bullied or intimidated by others. Just keep ur distance from them and if it escalates for ur own safety move elsewhere. Some pple have no humanity left in them

Thanks, I just keep my distance these days.

1 Like

Re: How Would You Handle This, As A Woman? by AfahaAbia(m): 6:43am On Jun 24, 2022
[quote author=purples25 post=108579360]

Th
Re: How Would You Handle This, As A Woman? by KingPure(m): 3:05pm On May 21, 2023
I just came across this, I'm neither Hausa nor Fulani, but I understand you perfectly well, because I spent more than 9 years of my life around this people back then in Zaria. So, I understand a bit of how they think and react particularly in such regards. While reading through, I was practically praying for you for strength. They can't do you nadar, they're just jealous and very uncouth, and sincerely I ain't surprised. How I wish I can at least pm you somehow.

purples25:
I live in a good, comfortable neighborhood. The majority of people that live there are rich Muslim Hausa's. Due to their lifestyle, most of them see a woman that opens her hair, gets into any male's car, walks with a guy down the street, dates without being secretive, or generally isn't their tribe, as a LovePeddler. They hardly have good attitudes towards others who are not of their tribe/lifestyle.

They are the ones handling every store in my area. Due to their mindset, I, amongst others, have gotten disrespected by those selling things in the area. They are unrepentant. The last time one of them said something lewd about me in my presence, the matter was taken up by a powerful neighbor. The Hausa's apologized to the neighbor but started a deadly malice with me. They did not apologize to me. They also told me not to buy from them or greet them. They, not considering that they are supposed to be devoted Muslims, even kept the malice throughout Ramadan.

Till today, I have to walk far to buy my things, because the mallam at the gate won't sell to me. He has also forcefully taken the role of security. Neighbors had meetings to root him out due to his generally rude nature, but this man went and built a cement foundation for his shop while an open meeting was being held for his removal.

I didn't go further on this because as those handling our security, and me being of a different tribe, I may be in danger. The mallam brings a mass of wandering sellers or poor Hausa's or Fulani's to our gate, and these people could turn on me anytime as they share the mindset that I amongst the inferior who are not their tribe.

At the closest mall, which the Hausa's also control, trouble is also brewing. I have gone there with my brother a few times to buy things, laughing and chatting along the way. My brother is tall and lanky and could pass for my boyfriend. They took it upon themselves to spread rumors about me being indecent from there, which led to more than the usual harassment I face from men around the area. I couldn't do anything about this. However, the male staff started one thing where they rub their hands on my body when talking to me. Then they grin at each other while doing that. It seems to be an inside joke with them.

I don't want to turn everyone to my enemy in my area. I want to be able to buy things. I am generally a peaceful person and I hate to cause a scene or make enemies. The last time I reported misconduct, I was barred from buying things. This time too, I am afraid, because the hausa people at the mall know the hausa people selling at my gate. This may be a matter of life and security to me.

I am really angry about this. I plan to go to the mall today and warn them. If not, being a calm person, I may continue not to react and stop going to this mall close by, which would be stressful for me, as I will have to go farther to buy things.

As a woman, how would you handle this? By the way, this post is not tribalistic. I am part Fulani, in fact.

1 Like

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