Good evening All,

Before i start , i would like to say i do not know why i am documenting this, But i guess i have to release some demons killing me inside.
By the end of this write up, i am pretty sure you would understand what i meant.

I was born into a very humble nuclear family of 8, Both parents still alive.
I am the first child.
However, i could say i have failed them in many ways possible, as i could confidently say i have failed myself.
Growing up was nothing special, i grew up in the outskirt of Ogun state.
I grew up as a prodigious child and it was so evident that i was born to be successful, but after almost 30decades on planet earth "This was not the case"
It was a conscious decision to go to school and become an aeronautic Engineer.

I worked towards it and had 286 in my jamb in the year 2011, I got admitted into two federal universities in western Nigeria.
Though the road was tough but i graduated with a strong 2:1 in Mechanical engineering and i would have easily made the top 10 to be successful list in my department if a vote was taken. I move with the right cliques to the best of my youthful knowledge.
I even participated in Nairaland debate in year 2013/2014, and i was a beneficiary of 2 different scholarships as an undergraduate for four(4) years.

It has been about 5years post graduate experience and i am currently in a debt of 417,256 (Four hundred and seventeen naira, two hundred and fifty six) as at July, 02, 2021 with no positive end in sight.
Immediately after NYSC, I worked as a casual worker in a factory at Ogun State.
After 6 months, i got a better job with a multinational engineering company.
After serving for about 11 months & proving beyond doubts that i could become an asset to the company.
I was told to come for documentation and medicals so as to give me a permanent confirmation.
I remembered playing "Uyo meyo by Teni" the whole night after i got that mail.
Finally things are changing for the better but the worse is yet to hit!

I failed medicals as i tested Positively to Hepatitis B.

That was the beginning of the downhill for me.
I was out of job, my world plummeted, There was no coherent explanation to the feeling i had on my last day working in the organization.
That was year 2019.
Early 2020, i got a job as a facility manager in Ikoyi but lost it 3 months later after Covid-19 started.
It was terribly tough coupled with the fact that i was spending every cash i got into my health.
Mind you, I am not down or bedridden at any point.
I was just running series of test on How chronic the HBV virus is and how to tackle it before it damages my Liver.
October 2020, immediately after Corona virus subsided, I got a Job with a German engineering Company on contract subjected to Full confirmation, I am currently on the Job and it has been a great experience.
Family and friends, i am wallowing in debts, depression and suicidal thoughts.
I currently earn a decent pay, Over a hundred Thousand Nigerian naira.
But still my debts are currenting running me over.
I currently owe over 10apps in Google playstore and some of the has dragged my name/reputation in the Mud.
It is really sad and depressing.
I was at home for the last 2 days, called in sick at work because i was in chronic depression, my blood pressure is around 150/100 today when i went to the hospital.

I am not soliciting for financial gain, But please if you know any way i can leave this muddle i am currently in a get my life to the right track.
Kindly let me know, i beg you in the name of God.
I am Tired.

Like i said, i don't know why i am penning this down and i pray the good Lord that this wouldn't be the last thing i write on Earth, but i am totally tired.



The obvious question is what did i spend money on that made me go into this huge debt even when working.
-I am currently sponsoring my 3 out of my sibling through school.
-I am currently the breadwinner of my family.
-I invested into fish business and lost terribly.


Please help a brother.

Updated.
Ain't ending anything.
I have consciously decided to stand twice as Tall

My brother, I have read all you wrote and I can confidently tell you that you are very successful...so you want to bring untold grief, agony and sorrow to your Love ones after everything they have done for you... that's wickedness. Look for any good church and attend and speak to their pastor for counseling or go to any Catholic church around and take your problems to blessed sacrament... if you hear my story and others, u go know say u Dy heaven.

I hope you've found some respite?
Man, life is full of these things. You have to be stronger than them or you'll throw it will away...

Ineedhelp2day:
Updated.
I have finally decided to end it all. I have fought and lost, resigning to my fate


Good bye world

You still came online today bro.

The suicide no work?

If all this is true... know people have been through way worse & they stood tall.

Be a man.

Like you i left sec sch in 2010.

Things have happened but we still going strong.

Guy I sympathize with you, but I still want to tell you that you are not serious.

I understand you need help, yea, and the good Lord with provide help.

Your BP is/was 150/100 and you are here doing yen yen yen. Normoretic and Amlodipine 10mg will regulate that BP (please consult your doctor or pharmacist). The most you'll spend in a month or 2 with regular BP checks (Free of charge anywhere) is 1,500. And soon enough you'll be off if you get enough sleep. Case closed.


For the HPV, go register at any health center around, you'll receive free treatment and medication.

You even have a job paying over 100k monthly. Don't you have HMO?

Guy you don't even have a problem honestly.

Lastly, I only responded to this cos I know you ain't dead. You will read it and you will have sense.

VlamesIffect:


You still came online today bro.

The suicide no work?

If all this is true... know people have been through way worse & they stood tall.

Be a man.

Like you i left sec sch in 2010.

Things have happened but we still going strong.

I went to work today and picked up the scratches left Boss.
Suicide is never the Best option.
Thanks Boss

Teeboy15:
Guy I sympathize with you, but I still want to tell you that you are not serious.

I understand you need help, yea, and the good Lord with provide help.

Your BP is/was 150/100 and you are here doing yen yen yen. Normoretic and Amlodipine 10mg will regulate that BP (please consult your doctor or pharmacist). The most you'll spend in a month or 2 with regular BP checks (Free of charge anywhere) is 1,500. And soon enough you'll be off if you get enough sleep. Case closed.


For the HPV, go register at any health center around, you'll receive free treatment and medication.

You even have a job paying over 100k monthly. Don't you have HMO?

Guy you don't even have a problem honestly.

Lastly, I only responded to this cos I know you ain't dead. You will read it and you will have sense.

I have a HMO
Everything was just too overwhelming for me over the weekend.
I have made conscious plans to leave debts in 3months and reinforce my career.

So that "What is Dead may never die."

I really appreciate you Boss, thanks for reaching out.

Ineedhelp2day:


I went to work today and picked up the scratches left Boss.
Suicide is never the Best option.
Thanks Boss

Correct.

Wish you the best