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How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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How can I come out of this mess?? (photo) / My Fiancé’s Gambling Lifestyle Landed Me Into This Dilemma / Please How Do I Come Out From This (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by debbydams(f): 3:06pm On Jul 04, 2021
mardis:
How will you date a lady for good six years even to the extent of producing a child yet you don't want to marry her. Is her character dat bad that you didn't let her go all this while so that she can be available for another guy? You have been enjoying free knacking and other things now you think you can't marry her. How heartless can you be hun? Don't worry karma will definitely pay you a visit
thnk you o..for 6years u didnt notice any fault..its best op marry her oo..6years plus having son and op still think he can't marry her..men, I wept for you oo

1 Like

Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Clinghton: 3:09pm On Jul 04, 2021
I pray you don't suffer the wrath of a woman's anger.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by lawrenzooo: 3:10pm On Jul 04, 2021
NengiWIDEtoto:
why date someone for 6 whole years if you do not plan to have a future with her? On top of that still produced a son out of the relationship. Do you know the number of potential suitors who backed out on seeing she had a guy? Let's tell ourselves the truth this is totally wrong, I'm not in anyway saying the girl is a good girl or something but my point is do not lead someone on for this length of time only to dump her, who will marry her after dumping her?
Yeah 6 years is a long time. I wish I took the decision earlier.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Nobody: 3:14pm On Jul 04, 2021
Yxwqq:
Logic must not be your forte. If he "keeps [his] distance" from her (and not communicate that he doesn't want to proceed with the marriage and by extension, not discuss co-parenting terms with her either), how will play his role of being a father to his child— sneak into her house to spend time with the baby and give him/her the upkeep money? Lol. It's obvious he's going to be an absentee father if he does do what he's considering.

Stop sounding irrational.

Nice one

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by lawrenzooo: 3:14pm On Jul 04, 2021
gregyboy:


Shut up baby daddy, you don knack finsh u won move, Mtcheew u for nor give am belle


Baby daddy
Bros e pass like that oooh.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by lawrenzooo: 3:14pm On Jul 04, 2021
Clinghton:
I pray you don't suffer the wrath of a woman's anger.
Amen.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by lawrenzooo: 3:16pm On Jul 04, 2021
Iceyjayzz:
You no try at all, let's be honest
The matter dey pain me too. I sincerely wish we two could work out things together but she's not helping matters.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by lawrenzooo: 3:22pm On Jul 04, 2021
toren:


This is exactly how you people bring curses upon yourselves. If you think you'll get away with this, you're joking.

I also do not understand why ladies allow themselves get pregnant by someone they're not married to. It's a big risk. Above all, a foolish foolish decision.

What happens if he doesn't marry you? You cannot force marriage on anyone, pregnancy or not.

All that said, there's a reward for dumping someone in such manner and I can assure you Op that you wouldn't go scot-free.
If I have dealt deceitfully with her am sure God is a fair judge...
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Donpenny(m): 3:22pm On Jul 04, 2021
Am not supporting op's decision but situation at time may warrant taking some drastic step that may hurt love one for sometime , if you scan through the op timeline you will discover he had created some trend about been in financial mess for some time and I believe this might be one of so many other reason why he is considering separation for now because Nigeria ladies do give attitude once money is no longer available in a relationship. Those bashing the op abt time wasted , have you considered the effect of this financial burden couple with the bad attitude of his babymama on his health? What if he die due to stress won't the said lady remarry? Op am not supporting you separating from her but if you need some space for the meantime to put yourself together and she didn't grant you that space or support you after been amicably brief regards your situation, just ghost her and reappear in future when you are now fine.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Ishilove: 3:26pm On Jul 04, 2021
Carchoice:
6 years relationship, he did not jakpa, now that she’s now a baby mama, he wants to leave her. Leave her for who?
He wants to leave her for other men. He did not see her bad character before impregnating her, but after putting her in the family way he now realised she is not wife material.

Na wa for some men

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by lawrenzooo: 3:27pm On Jul 04, 2021
AishaYesufu:

So because a man promise a lady marriage means he can't change his mind if the lady isn't what he wants? Emotional rant

There is no wa for him. There is no compulsion in a relationship. His happiness is of utmost importance to him, likewise the lady to her.

What is wickedness in someone making his life decision?

Another silly comment. So because the next lady might be worse he should not leave uncomfortable relationship? What if the next lady gives him what he seeks?

Why will God punish him for deciding what is best for him? WTF do you mean by defilement? Is marriage by force? When a girl fail to do her due diligence before opening her legs or when she fail to exhibit the right attitude, such fate will befall her...
.

What is senseless and cruel? Is marriage by force?

@OP Lawrenzooo my advice for you is to evaluate the situation critically and make decision. If continuing with her won't guarantee your peace, TAKE A WALK OUT!

What you owe her at this time is to be a responsible father your the child you both have, and a lover to her (while the relationship lasts). Relationship/Marriage is not by force. Our peace is paramount. Don't allow popular opinion into blackmailing you to take silly decision that is unfavorable to you. Promise to marry or length of relationship isn't a meal ticket to marriage.

Use your brain because when e set na you go face am
Thanks for your advice
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by lawrenzooo: 3:29pm On Jul 04, 2021
Ishilove:

He wants to leave her for other men. He did not see her bad character before impregnating her, but after putting her in the family way he now realised she is not wife material.

Na wa for some men
Funny enough she's a wife material.
Just some few flaws that could reck a home and she's not ready to work on herself. And sincerely I do love her but am of the school of thought that love alone doesn't hold a marriage.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by NengiWIDEtoto: 3:30pm On Jul 04, 2021
lawrenzooo:

Yeah 6 years is a long time. I wish I took the decision earlier.
everyone deserves happiness in life. if your girl makes life difficult for you, you have every right to end the relationship but waiting this long to do it isn't ideal in my opinion. You've already made up your mind to move on, the advice I can proffer here is that you change location if it's possible, you never can tell how she'd take the whole issue. Let her not come for your head when you think all is well.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Ishilove: 3:32pm On Jul 04, 2021
tchidi066:
I pray karma doesnt come calling soon, imagine a whole six years
A child is even involved for that matter. He saw the red flags yet still went ahead to bring a child into an uncertain union. The OP is the reason why people like saphiere have the guts to be calling male children "a disgrace waiting to happen"

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by lawrenzooo: 3:36pm On Jul 04, 2021
Ishilove:

A child is even involved for that matter. He saw the red flags yet still went ahead to bring a child into an uncertain union. The OP is the reason why people like saphiere have the guts to be calling male children "a disgrace waiting to happen"
Yeah I guess I should have acted Better. I initially wanted to hang on for my son sake but things are not getting any better between us.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Ishilove: 3:38pm On Jul 04, 2021
lawrenzooo:

Funny enough she's a wife material.
Just some few flaws that could reck a home and she's not ready to work on herself. And sincerely I do love her but am of the school of thought that love alone doesn't hold a marriage.
Then why get a child involved? You have now complicated matters because you don't sleep with a woman unprotected if you don't envision a future with her.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by lawrenzooo: 3:40pm On Jul 04, 2021
Donpenny:
Am not supporting op's decision but situation at time may warrant taking some drastic step that may hurt love one for sometime , if you scan through the op timeline you will discover he had created some trend about been in financial mess for some time and I believe this might be one of so many other reason why he is considering separation for now because Nigeria ladies do give attitude once money is no longer available in a relationship. Those bashing the op abt time wasted , have you considered the effect of this financial burden couple with the bad attitude of his babymama on his health? What if he die due to stress won't the said lady remarry? Op am not supporting you separating from her but if you need some space for the meantime to put yourself together and she didn't grant you that space or support you after been amicably brief regards your situation, just ghost her and reappear in future when you are now fine.
The financial mess is not even the issue now as I have cleared 60% of my debts however if you scan further through my timeline you would see some of the issues we have struggled with in the past...
Thanks for your advice
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by lawrenzooo: 3:45pm On Jul 04, 2021
Ishilove:

Then why get a child involved? You have now complicated matters because you don't sleep with a woman unprotected if you don't envision a future with her.
My mistake.... Along the line I felt things had changed but I guess I was wrong...
It was when I mentioned to her that I want out of the relationship she made it known to me that she was pregnant...! The child has really made the equation a tough one.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by pocohantas(f): 3:49pm On Jul 04, 2021
lawrenzooo:

My mistake.... Along the line I felt things had changed but I guess I was wrong...
It was when I mentioned to her that I want out of the relationship she made it known to me that she was pregnant...! The child has really made the equation a tough one.

Work out coparenting.
Everybody will be alright in the long-run.

Since 2014 wey una start to date, na everyday you dey complain for Nairaland. Marriage no be force. Nothing fit shock me for this life again. I hope I am still normal sha.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Boss13: 3:51pm On Jul 04, 2021
lawrenzooo:

Yeah I guess I should have acted Better. I initially wanted to hang on for my son sake but things are not getting any better between us.

Chief please take your woman and go for counseling. She has given you the highest honor any woman can give to man, a son. Don't be callous. Be a man and do the proper thing.

I can tell you from experience no woman is perfect. Go and do the proper thing and keep your family intact.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Neptunium(m): 3:57pm On Jul 04, 2021
...

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Boss13: 4:00pm On Jul 04, 2021
Neptunium:
6 years? The mouth you use ask her for relationship, propose marriage, suck her pussy all the way down to giving her belle, na the same mouth make una use sit her down say you no wan marry her again. Oga, be responsible.

Gross irresponsibility and selfishness on his part. Where is he going to find a unicorn? This Earth, I doubt it. Why are some men this heartless and why would women open their legs and stay in a lengthy relationship without legalizing it.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by gregyboy(m): 4:08pm On Jul 04, 2021
Donpenny:
Am not supporting op's decision but situation at time may warrant taking some drastic step that may hurt love one for sometime , if you scan through the op timeline you will discover he had created some trend about been in financial mess for some time and I believe this might be one of so many other reason why he is considering separation for now because Nigeria ladies do give attitude once money is no longer available in a relationship. Those bashing the op abt time wasted , have you considered the effect of this financial burden couple with the bad attitude of his babymama on his health? What if he die due to stress won't the said lady remarry? Op am not supporting you separating from her but if you need some space for the meantime to put yourself together and she didn't grant you that space or support you after been amicably brief regards your situation, just ghost her and reappear in future when you are now fine.


So he should leave her after a child and go find anoda kontos to put his dick, just imagine this guy with your advise ... Imagine d said lady is your daughter
And she comes home with a baby to be puting pressure and Shame on you and her mother...

Oga is dick stood so long for 6yrs despite her bad attitude and he decided to wait till she had his baby

So the next lady he is running to won't give him attitude when there is no money so when the other lady gives him issues he will take is dick and move to another lady

Aka hitman grin

Oga go sitdown

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Donpenny(m): 4:17pm On Jul 04, 2021
lawrenzooo:

My mistake.... Along the line I felt things had changed but I guess I was wrong...
It was when I mentioned to her that I want out of the relationship she made it known to me that she was pregnant...! The child has really made the equation a tough one.
If that is the case she is the one that manipulated you into this union by trapping you with pregnancy, she knew you have a soft and caring mind and she use that to her advantage. I once dated a lady like that and when I discovered her lie abt her educational background and how she lied abt her health(asthmatic) I confronted her and this junction she want us to be having unprotected sex claiming condom do react with her private part I quickly called off the relationship that is when her real madness begin. She claimed she is now pregnant for me, she came to my then working place with her brothers I politely told them I will take her for chk up. After closing time I took her to my nurse sister working in the hospital she conducted pregnancy test on her both scan, urine and blood all negative that was when she begged my aunty to lie to me that the test was positive. My aunty called me abt her mission to trapped me by all means . At evening time my ex called me claiming the test was positive not knowing my aunty have informed me abt the result instantly I told her her mission and how I am related to the nurse that conducted the test for her. She started begging me, I politely told her we can't marry again. Till today I kept all the scan rsult and other in case she pull out a legal battle in future. Nja girls are desperate
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Donpenny(m): 4:30pm On Jul 04, 2021
[quote author=gregyboy post=103362804]


So he should leave her after a child and go find anoda kontos to put his dick, just imagine this guy with your advise ... Imagine d said lady is your daughter
And she comes home with a baby to be puting pressure and Shame on you and her mother...

Oga is dick stood so long for 6yrs despite her bad attitude and he decided to wait till she had his baby

So the next lady he is running to won't give him attitude when there is no money so when the other lady gives him issues he will take is dick and move to another lady

Aka hitman Oga go sitdown [/quotemust relationship be by force? Separation or divorce what whatever the case maybe is a fundamental human right. No one should be in any kind of slavery in this 21 first century. Op is only tired of managing a mad woman that is not responding to treatment grin. Is it mandatory for a doc to die with his patients? Instead the patient should be transfer to another hospital and that's what op is abt to do. Freedom is everybody's right
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Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by gregyboy(m): 4:49pm On Jul 04, 2021
[quote author=Donpenny post=103363505][/quote]

Donpenny

The woman should sue the o.p for damages lets see the liberty you speak off, you knew you wont marry her you went all in her Nutting for 6yrs in her,

He just made that lady second hand, how do you Bleep a lady that gives you bad vibes and you nut in her kontos daily , if he could manage it all this while then he should keep managing it bro... In the marriage with her

The nigga will still chicken out on the next Lady......

The op is a fucking hitman is weapon is with his Dickson
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Ishilove: 4:55pm On Jul 04, 2021
lawrenzooo:

My mistake.... Along the line I felt things had changed but I guess I was wrong...
It was when I mentioned to her that I want out of the relationship she made it known to me that she was pregnant...! The child has really made the equation a tough one.
A very tough situation you find yourself.

This one pass my power. May God give you wisdom to make the right decision
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Ishilove: 4:57pm On Jul 04, 2021
Donpenny:
If that is the case she is the one that manipulated you into this union by trapping you with pregnancy, she knew you have a soft and caring mind and she use that to her advantage. I once dated a lady like that and when I discovered her lie abt her educational background and how she lied abt her health(asthmatic) I confronted her and this junction she want us to be having unprotected sex claiming condom do react with her private part I quickly called off the relationship that is when her real madness begin. She claimed she is now pregnant for me, she came to my then working place with her brothers I politely told them I will take her for chk up. After closing time I took her to my nurse sister working in the hospital she conducted pregnancy test on her both scan, urine and blood all negative that was when she begged my aunty to lie to me that the test was positive. My aunty called me abt her mission to trapped me by all means . At evening time my ex called me claiming the test was positive not knowing my aunty have informed me abt the result instantly I told her her mission and how I am related to the nurse that conducted the test for her. She started begging me, I politely told her we can't marry again. Till today I kept all the scan rsult and other in case she pull out a legal battle in future. Nja girls are desperate
Oga did you read where he wrote that they have been in a relationship for 6years, so which union exactly are you talking about?
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by pocohantas(f): 4:57pm On Jul 04, 2021
Ishilove:

A very tough situation you find yourself.

This one pass my power. May God give you wisdom to make the right decision

Go through his threads. He has been complaining since 2014! 2014 o!
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by mardis: 4:58pm On Jul 04, 2021
debbydams:
thnk you o..for 6years u didnt notice any fault..its best op marry her oo..6years plus having son and op still think he can't marry her..men, I wept for you oo

It's quite unfortunate that some girls will open their legs for a guy even before he puts a ring on her finger.
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by Ishilove: 4:58pm On Jul 04, 2021
pocohantas:


Go through his threads. He has been complaining since 2014! 2014 o!
Are you kidney me?

Let me check
Re: How Do I Come Out Of This Dilemma by mardis: 5:02pm On Jul 04, 2021
davien:
I find it funny when other men ask this type feminine question. Please tell me if she was not also enjoying free penis? Yet she stupidly did not ask him to marry her. Women choose the men that sleep with them but then blame the men when they don't want them, stop thinking like a woman.
It's 100% true that there's always a man disturbing women for marriage but they ignore him for casanova.


Well, if she hadn't open her legs at all, the pain won't be much for her.

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