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Married Men In The House Please Advice Me - Family - Nairaland

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Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Golden147: 2:14pm On Jul 18
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

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Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Skmoda(m): 2:16pm On Jul 18
Hmmm....lemme read over it again...coming

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Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Liballo(f): 2:17pm On Jul 18
You are not Emotionality, Psychologically and Financially ready for marriage.
Do you think marriage is a child's play ?
And, to the issue of her siblings always demanding is a Red flag....... You can always choose to ignore it. But don't come here to disturb us about how your Wife's siblings are trying to run you dry. Like a thread a man made sometimes ago complaining about how his Wife's relatives eat like gluttons.

601 Likes 26 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Greystone(m): 2:21pm On Jul 18
Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

She's obviously a good lady. Never let her go. Good girls are so hard to find.

If I were you, I would marry her.

You can manage her brother's issues easier than replacing her.

577 Likes 41 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Golden147: 2:28pm On Jul 18
Gbongwon1:
You're 24 years old, still in school. She's 22 years old and she is still in school too, and all you're thinking about is marriage

My advice for you comes is one word "Hustle" .
Check my signature and thank me later cool

Though I didn't add nobody should advice me to to hustle.... Even as a student, I have a stable income bro...

237 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Torylanez(m): 2:30pm On Jul 18
- My brother you need to hustle more
- Move forward and achieve something
- Obviously you both aren't ripe for Marriage una just de do gra gra
- You both are marrying for the wrong reasons
- Anytime a man marries you marry all the good and bad of your wife family and she does the same with your family

Marriage is not about age neither is it about size
Marriage is more of a spiritual, mental and psychological move

You are not ready my bro

Take this as a golden advice from a married man

178 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Golden147: 2:32pm On Jul 18
Torylanez:
- My brother you need to hustle more
- Move forward and achieve something
- Obviously you both aren't ripe for Marriage una just de do gra gra
- You both are marrying for the wrong reasons
- Anytime a man marries you marry all the good and bad of your wife family and she does the same with your family

Marriage is not about age neither is it about size
Marriage is more of a spiritual, mental and psychological move

You are not ready my bro

Take this as a golden advice from a married man

Lol...I know this advice will eventually surface...but let me ask you.. How do you know a man who is ready for marriage, does age count too or it's because I added my age and her age??

144 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Polynek(m): 2:36pm On Jul 18
Bro marry Her, give Her brothers when they ask, whenever you have, and if u don't have enough, you explain to them, they have common sense they will understand that everyday no b Christmas, my Candid advice, I wish you all d best

270 Likes 20 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by anthonyuncle(m): 2:39pm On Jul 18
guy,
you are still immature for marriage

43 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Golden147: 2:40pm On Jul 18
anthonyuncle:
guy,
you are still immature for marriage

Why do you say so?

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by anthonyuncle(m): 2:42pm On Jul 18
Golden147:


Why do you say so?

i don't need to explain it.

are you sure your parents really supported you to marry her now?

8 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by kingsceedon(m): 2:44pm On Jul 18
Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

My brother I wish you well, Our Able God must surely direct you to the right path

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Golden147: 2:47pm On Jul 18
anthonyuncle:


i don't need to explain it.

are you sure your parents really supported you to marry her now?

Smile, yes bro...

Maybe because I didn't add I have got a house (4 bedroom flat) land properties too... what I don't have now as a man is car bro... anyways I won't dig deep about myself... I know myself just want to be sure of my marriage...
In my community a young guy at 22 that knows what his doing can get marry and settle perfectly fine...

What delayed me till now is my education.. I hope you understand now?

230 Likes 14 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by younglleo: 2:52pm On Jul 18
Greystone:


She's obviously a good lady. Never let her go. Good girls are so hard to find.

If I were you, I would marry her.

You can manage her brother's issues easier than replacing ur lady.
An elder have spoken
Well spoken!
Op stick to this abeg

176 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by anthonyuncle(m): 2:53pm On Jul 18
Golden147:


Smile, yes bro...

Maybe because I didn't add I have got a house (4 bedroom flat) land properties too... what I don't have now as a man is car bro... anyways I won't dig deep about myself... I know myself just want to be sure of my marriage...
In my community a young guy at 22 that knows what his doing can get marry and settle perfectly fine...

What delayed me till now is my education.. I hope you understand now?

being matured is beyond riches and material possessions.
a little quake in your life can shatter everything you say you own.

your psychological and mental state is still shaking

121 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Golden147: 2:59pm On Jul 18
anthonyuncle:


being matured is beyond riches and material possessions.
a little quake in your life can shatter everything you say you own.

your psychological and mental state is still shaking
It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it...
As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...
Anyways..thank you for your advice.

19 Likes

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by anthonyuncle(m): 3:03pm On Jul 18
Golden147:

It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it...
As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...
Anyways..thank you for your advice.

what you mentioned above are part of what am saying.
you think you are ready but I'll advice you use some time to build yourself and your lover more.
work on your strengths and weakness.
don't rush into marriage(cause that's how it looks),
marriage will not be the end of your troubles except you start working on your troubles (effectively) now

131 Likes 11 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Clinghton: 3:03pm On Jul 18
Marry the lady and focus on your family, you can assist her brothers only at your convenience.

53 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by DaddyRochie1642(f): 3:05pm On Jul 18
Golden147:


Lol...I know this advice will eventually surface...but let me ask you.. How do you know a man who is ready for marriage, does age count too or it's because I added my age and her age??



It very obvious that you're not ready for marriage, better follow that Wise advice to avoid Weeping and gnashing your teeth in the Future.

When a man is ready for marriage, he will Feel it inside him.

From your story, your girlfriend told you she'll commit suicide if you leave her.
-- Any Individual on this planet Earth that threatens another individual with "Suicide" is a very Dangerous person because such a person has nothing to loose, and the victim of that "Suicide" threat has everything to Loose.

She has already started subtly threatening you with Suicide, Just pray for your Sake that this your relationship doesn't reach that dangerous and dreaded stage of "If I can't have you, nobody will have you".

For her to indirectly threaten you with Suicide, she'll have no problem in taking your Life and taking her Life too if things don't go her way.


It is well with my Soul.... Amen.

217 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Golden147: 3:07pm On Jul 18
anthonyuncle:


what you mentioned above are part of what am saying.
you think you are ready but I'll advice you use some time to build yourself and your lover more.
work on your strengths and weakness.
don't rush into marriage(cause that's how it looks),
marriage will not be the end of your troubles except you start working on your troubles (effectively) now
What if in the cause of waiting to build another guy came into picture... You know women though not all can be influence plus other peers advise too.... Every guy is afraid of training a woman in school because of their nonsense altitude...can you advise me to take such risk or quit the relationship?

2 Likes

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by scrolldown88: 3:07pm On Jul 18
Run ooo

4 Likes

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Golden147: 3:10pm On Jul 18
DaddyRochie1642:




It very obvious that you're not ready for marriage, better follow that Wise advice to avoid Weeping and gnashing your teeth in the Future.

When a man is ready for marriage, he will Feel it inside him.

From your story, your girlfriend told you she'll commit suicide if you leave her.
-- Any Individual on this planet Earth that threatens another individual with "Suicide" is a very Dangerous person because such a person has nothing to loose, and the victim of that "Suicide" threat has everything to Loose.

She has already started subtly threatening you with Suicide, Just pray for your Sake that this your relationship doesn't reach that dangerous and dreaded stage of "If I can't have you, nobody will have you".

For her to indirectly threaten you with Suicide, she'll have no problem in taking your Life and taking her Life too if things don't go her way.


It is well with my Soul.... Amen.
Thank you, although I didn't see the sucide as anything....our relationship is has gone beyond...as a matter of fact she and her family has turned down 3 men because of me...the mother said I can't see her through her school finish nd another guy will marry her nd she won't allow such....I think that's why she talk about sucide when I discussed with her....thank you so much.

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Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by anthonyuncle(m): 3:15pm On Jul 18
Golden147:

What if in the cause of waiting to build another guy came into picture... You know women though not all can be influence plus other peers advise too.... Every guy is afraid of training a woman in school because of their nonsense altitude...can you advise me to take such risk or quit the relationship?

if in the end, she leaves you for another guy, then you should be happy.
be happy cause worse would've happened if you had gone ahead to marry her.

25 Likes

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by ford101: 3:20pm On Jul 18
You see that prostitution she said she wants to go into. That's she can't go into it that she ll kill her self. My brother it's in her mind a long time ago to do it if go no go. And she ll do it soon.even if you. Kill ur self. I no girls that ll later go into that business wen I see them.

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Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Golden147: 3:22pm On Jul 18
anthonyuncle:


if in the end, she leaves you for another guy, then you should be happy.
be happy cause worse would've happened if you had gone ahead to marry her.

Okay thank you for your time
Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Clickguy44: 3:24pm On Jul 18
You have my blessings bro.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by arazanbal: 3:52pm On Jul 18
bros due to d fact dat she acknowledge say her brodas dy Bleep up regarding asking you money all d time is a sign of good behaviour. and from anoda of ur comment u say her mama don turn down 3 men sake of say she will not allow anoda people come reap for where dm nor sow as u dy help her tru are sch stuff is also a sign of better family wy get good mind. just cool ur self and marry dis ur babe regardless of una age. does him brodas can be handled anytime any day

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Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Herrick: 4:10pm On Jul 18
Pray about it.

I really don't see anything wrong here, since you said she's a good girl, you can marry her.
Nobody will force Money out your pocket, you know?
Discipline yourself, and let your YES be YES and NO be NO. don't give out like father Christmas unless its necessary, and no dey always carry yourself as if you get money..learn how to form broke sometimes.

When you are confused on matter, abeg take am to God, he will surely reveal.

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Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Savedday: 4:21pm On Jul 18
9ja girls are out to add more burden to your life instead of softening it.

In mosdii voice: They are all useless..... All of them!

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Yusufisraelj(m): 4:24pm On Jul 18
Liballo:
You are not Emotionality, Psychologically and Financially ready for marriage.
Do you think marriage is a child's play ?
And, to the issue of her siblings always demanding is a Red flag....... You can always choose to ignore it. But don't come here to disturb us about how your Wife's siblings are trying to run you dry. Like a thread a man made sometimes ago complaining about how his Wife's relatives eat like gluttons.

You've said nothing sincerely.

Greystone:


She's obviously a good lady. Never let her go. Good girls are so hard to find.

If I were you, I would marry her.

You can manage her brother's issues easier than replacing ur lady.

@Golden147 the above advise is the best so far here, in this part of the world, people do things late and think it's okay! Most of the people in Nigeria, the major set back is finances else they should have settled down, a friend of ours in US married at 21, then we were about getting into uni, he has a daughter right now that's about 9 years old and a loving family.

However I must add, you are not managing third party interferences well in your relationship. Your obligation is to your lady not her siblings, they have parents for God sake, it's the responsibility of the parents to provide for them, if you support you're doing that as a choice not an obligation and none of her siblings should bully her when you refuse, warn them sternly and put it forward to the parents, that you'll only assist when you have and when you don't nobody should bully your lady or you'll call the police, just saying but you get the point!

More importantly make sure your woman obtains a skill that fetches her good money or she should obtain one. You goal right now is to build yourself and your lady spiritually, relationally (keep genuine people only in your space), mindset (read about marriage and life together), finances (understand how to seriously deal with poverty), Health (understand how to stay healthy) and your Career (learn how to expand your knowledge and become very competent in your skill or business)

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Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by ITbomb(m): 4:43pm On Jul 18
that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her,
Emotional blackmail

If at 22, she doesn't have any skill to generate some income, she is useless to you in marriage

With two hands and two legs and a working brain, her only means of survival apart from you is prostitution, my brother, have a rethink.

No matter how much you give her, someone might give more

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