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Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. - Family (13) - Nairaland

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Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Obynolee(f): 10:07am On Jul 25, 2021
Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.



I see no problem here,you're just giving yourself unnecessary stress, do not,I repeat, do not marry out of pity and do not marry because you got her pregnant, there are more to marriage than pity and all that.You commits no crime known to law by having a consensual sexual intercourse with your fellow adult(forget the threat of rape,it is very difficult to prove,he who asserts must prove).
Get yourself established first,you will be making a grave mistake by marrying that girl because she is badly brought-up,her parents are bad influence and they will pressure you to your early grave.
You might not even be the owner of the pregnancy self.
Chill my guy you have no issue, focus now on how to establish yourself first, if they ask for support and you have,you can give them but don't marry because of pressure.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by FarmTech(m): 10:07am On Jul 25, 2021
CharisEleos:
Hm see how devil just used 5mins madness to destroy your peace and career...
Like why can't you people just be like Joseph in terms of self discipline...

Even the girl. Your parents sent you to school and the very first year, you're already sleeping with a man. Without protection for that matter..

If she's someone that has sense, should sex be the first thing she should go and be pursuing immediately she got to school or her career? SMH..

You see, that time you were about to engage in the act was when you should have done what youre doing here now. That is, reason and ask yourself some of the questions you're now posing to us. It is then you should have reasoned you didn't have a job yet and not ready to father a child or get married.

The bible that says flee every appearance of evil is correct after all.

You better go and see the family because the didn't force their daughter on you in the first place. So, now you don buy market, go and carry your goods.

Everytime Sex sex sex.. sex that doesn't give you a happy ending, is that one sex?

When I tell people I've been celibate for many years, they think it's because I'm trying to form super girl. It's because of all these nonsense super story that you men come up with once there's any little mistake plus the fact that my body is the temple of Holy Spirit and not for any coconut head man who's just looking for anywhere to ease himself.
Mtcheeeeewwwwwww.

Modified

Those of you calling yourselves a hypocrite for a harmless comment I made are the real hypocrites because if you were the girls parents, will give the op a bear hug for doing that to your daughter?

What you cant take, you're here advising someone to do it to others. Generation of vipers. Keep encouraging evil.

This is the opportunity you're supposed to use to condemn such wrong and immoral act so that the small boys and girls here can learn and desist from it, but you're busy spewing trash all over the place. Before you know it, it's already at your door step staring you in the face. Then ill see how you'll handle it will a wide smile.


.
Nice write up. I hope people will learn from his mistake.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Sterope(f): 10:08am On Jul 25, 2021
You act like you are aliens living on Venus before joining on us earth. In this society, you want a woman to think big. In how many families would that work out?
mudiana:
It takes two to tangle. I am sure that gal wanted to trap him with the baby. she could have terminated the pregnancy without anyone knowing. She is bent on getting married by all means even if it means wrecking someone's life to accomplish her goal. most ladies wat they want in life is just marriage and start giving birth to children like fowl. no goal, no ambition. mk she getat abeg!!!
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by NoToPile: 10:10am On Jul 25, 2021
Sterope:
You are very presumptious to think some of us won't drag nursing school.


Does the dragging change the rules? No

That exactly is my point, rules are rules in any organization as long as you are informed before hand. Is the nursing school rule fair- of course not but its their standard.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by moredolu(m): 10:10am On Jul 25, 2021
I think she already made up her mind before joining the school that on getting there she would be married if not you would had resolved the issue before getting to the level it is now. She would have plan the future together with you but since her target is different you are just the unfortunate victim accept her do the necessary requirement in a low key manage the life together bro
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Sterope(f): 10:11am On Jul 25, 2021
Rules are not rules where they are unfair, they deserve to be broken and binned!

NoToPile:


Does the dragging change the rules? No

That exactly is my point, rules are rules as long as you are informed before hand. Is the nursing school rule fair- of course not but its their standard.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Obynolee(f): 10:12am On Jul 25, 2021
Asquare84:


Best advice, once bride price is paid marriage has taking place


Remember the the would be in-law lacks understanding, which responsible parents that wants marriage at all cost for the daughter?,.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by NoToPile: 10:12am On Jul 25, 2021
Sterope:
Rules are not rules where they are unfair, they deserve to be broken and binned!


I hear you grin
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Obynolee(f): 10:15am On Jul 25, 2021
crackhaus:
I think people ought to normalize using the phrase 'UNPLANNED pregnancy' instead of 'UNWANTED pregnancy'... Please and please!!!

@Priceless007, nothing about your story is unusual.

You met someone, you found her attractive, one thing led to another and sex happened. Pregnancy is just the expected natural consequence of having sex, especially when you don't observe standard safety protocols.
Next time, be more careful...

However, there are two things I would like to point out:

1. You must do right by that child, and this means providing whatever you can financially for the mother to have a comfortable delivery.
I don't want to bring up the issue of paternity because person wey never see money to buy pampers should not be told to use money to run DNA tests. But still, have it in mind and consider having this done somewhere down the line.

2. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, marry into that family.
That she is about to be the mother of your child does not mean she must also be your wife... Na two different things oo. Take note!
First of all, she doesn't seem like someone who has plenty sense and secondly, her family doesn't seem like they have sense either – this one they're already harassing you at this point, is giving me all kinds of danger vibes.


With all that out of the way, I wish you a hearty congratulations. You're the latest baby daddy on NL. cool

Op follow this advice and you will be happy and live long.

2 Likes

Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by DSHADOWWALKER: 10:20am On Jul 25, 2021
1Alex:
We all make mistakes sometimes. You have made yours.

In my opinion, you should have gone with an elderly person to see her people pay her bride price only and explain your condition to them and plead with them to also help you take care of her till you get back on your feet.


If you abandon and forget about this baby now, in about 20 to 30 years later, you will begin to regret it.


pay her bride price??did he tell you he wants to spend the rest of his life with her??
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by BRATISLAVA: 10:27am On Jul 25, 2021
Qudsi:



I have no problem with that but what's the next solution you next offered him aside the blames you have repeatedly heaped on him.

I read up there the OP asked if anyone teaches him a skill that he would use in earning to remedy the mistake he has already made.
Why shouldn't he be blamed? He's a so called pastor wannabe.

He already knows what to do. His real aim is to claim he was seduced, thus he is innocent, and put the blames of what happened on the other party. Then get a soft landing from forum members.

From his write up, he's trying to evade responsibility.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by BRATISLAVA: 10:30am On Jul 25, 2021
NewSoul:

I'm sure you must have heard of sexual transmutation and semen retention. Have you tried it? Yeah some occultic people need to have sex constantly to maintain their position. If a man abstains from fornication, masturbation and pornography. There is this drive inside you that will heighten to chase your goals vigorously

Untrue. All one needs is favor and grace.

Some were born to suffer, and others weren't. Even God doesn't intervene in cases of those who were born to suffer. So whether they become celibate or not, it will be.

Otherwise all non virgins would've been destroyed or useless. And they aren't.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by LOKOLESCO(m): 10:37am On Jul 25, 2021
I will advised u to visit her family in other to settle things out amicably.i have once be in your shoe as well and. I know how it feels,though not in theology college but the scene is almost thesame as my.call my number or message me on whatsup if possible i got one thing to tell u privately based on these issued.08101178719
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by harmony75: 10:40am On Jul 25, 2021
Just 3mins enjoyment have destabilize your future and destiny just look what fornication is destroying this generation � good you have realised your mistakes and I pray God to show you mercy and restore all for you.. Congrats you're going to be a father! Naw you have to work part-time job to rise money for your training or studies! This is a lesson a man/woman can be seduced what did Joseph do with the wife of potpher he ran � away Joseph fulfilled his destiny because he did not allow 3mins act to ruin the great destiny he has he was disciplined so he guided he's life you can't be careless with your life and fullfill destiny! Some are treating disease and sickness and some destinies ruined repent and turn to GOD!
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by ricmx(m): 10:54am On Jul 25, 2021

Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by larrypappyy(m): 11:09am On Jul 25, 2021
What would you be preaching when you become a pastor. A pastor to be that can't keep his word; is that one a pastor to be. First thing first, go and see them. They want you to come and start marriage talks just to get commitment from you. Guy you have done two major things to the girl;
1) you ended her own dreams of becoming a pastor
2) you have put her in family way
She has lost no1 but she needs you to be with her through no2.
I know the girl isn't a devil and wouldn't want your own dream to end because of her unborn child. Guy, show love and that you care and you will receive compassion from them. Go and make the girl happy; so that she will keep praying for you through her labour period.
Put yourself in the position of the father and the girl being your daughter.
Do the right thing and supernatural doors will open for you.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by LienwaltAbel(m): 11:16am On Jul 25, 2021
gmode:
I don't know you but I think you need to get rid of emotions and move on. Yes, a baby is coming but how sure are you she belongs to you. Well, even when you are her father, the mom still has to be considerate. She knows you better than the parents. Marriage is consensual not instigated. Her standing by her parents is a strong message she is not gonna change even in marriage. Pity her today and stand to regret the rest of years ahead. If you can, distance yourself from them and move on. But before that, commit part payment were you want to enroll the new skill. You can then assist her from the little money you have left to care for the coming baby. Trust God, move on, focus on your future and come back for your child later.
gringrin come back for which child? If I am the child I will spit on him and kick him out of my sight, leave peanuts for the child and the mother, vanish then come back to say my son/my daughter, that child will suffer, the grandparents will give the child hell, the mother will also see the child as the cause of her failure. So if the man leaves, he had better leave for good. No be only go and come back.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by azammi(m): 11:25am On Jul 25, 2021
What help can man give you? I’ve you talked to the Lord and wait for him to speak that is what you did so you won’t regret for the rest of your life . Trials and tribulations will come surely but how do you put God in it
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by digitrend: 11:30am On Jul 25, 2021
Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.


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Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Roon9(m): 11:40am On Jul 25, 2021
mrblessed:
How are you sure that the pregnancy belongs to you, considering what you have narrated? Come on, it is possible it isn't yours, and she has cleverly pinned it on you knowing you are a bit naive about relationship in particular and women in general.

Even after you accepted the pregnancy without due diligence, why didn't you visit the family and ignore the talk of marriage that was their term of reference? No reputable family would be happy to see their daughter put in a family by a man who seemed distance, disrespectful, and "irresponsible." So I will urge to go see the family and explain your financial situation to them, especially now she is weeks away from giving birth. You didn't commit murder!

My take on this issue, going by your disposition, is that you don't really love this lady enough to marry her. The claim of not having money now is a mere subterfuge. In any case, her family wants you to show commitment, make a promise that you are going to accept her as your wife. I would advice you make such pronouncement without much ado, because it will be beneficial to your career progress.

You people should stop this advice. Is it because he's broke? How many Wizkid & davido Don marry? Make the lady park one side
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by digitrend: 11:55am On Jul 25, 2021
MejiLoyon:
Finally read it and this is my question. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you nacked the bazooka out of that toto. I hope she screamed hallelujah and spoke in tongues while you squeezed your anointed rod into her red sea. I hope she came.

Pastor wey dey nack. I won't judge you Sha. And I have no advise for you. I'll just chip in something hopefully you will use it to have small sense. STOP GIVING YOURSELF UNNECESSARY PRESSURE. Think about that last sentence deeply. It's the answer to everything.

When are.you returning to school? I want to invest in church business. Pastor wey Sabi nack toto go Sabi make money from offering and tithes.

What Value has you given? You just wasted energy saying absolutely nothing but a display of your own deprivity and cluelessness...
If you have nothing to give be silent , it makes more sense ....
He made a mistake and he is willing to learn and be useful...If your hounger sister was inbolved what would you do?

Grow up pls
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by JudeAfoo(m): 12:01pm On Jul 25, 2021
Better go back and finish your course in that school first, if God call you truly then He will see you through after answering him, Satan is using this as a distraction not continue, be wise and prayerful....... You will overcome this in Jesus name. Aristotle
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Eze2000(m): 12:08pm On Jul 25, 2021
Theoutsider:


You DONT even know the girl!
You dont know if she slept around multiple men.

Stop trying to confuse tradition with cucking.

You automatically sided with the woman because you are emotionally compromised. IN your feelings.

I feel like giving YOU a good beating because there are many men fathering kids that are not biologically theirs. So shut your trap.



What I said is the honest truth. You dont have to like it though.

Understabd that God's ways are not the ways of man. For instance this dating thing before marriage is not his way,

This guy needs to marry that girl not because she is worth but because his put his seed in her womb.

Thanks
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Nobody: 12:10pm On Jul 25, 2021
Babara1994:

Imo girls can bleep anything in a man. They too like sex

No now. Lets not tribalize it.
Who doesn't like sex? Everyone does but your ability to control your sexual urges is what stands you out and makes it look like you don't like it as much as they do. Self-control is the key word here. Which they both lacked.
If you look at the story, they only had it once.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Dada4me: 12:15pm On Jul 25, 2021
Move close to adults around you who might counsel you aright, it seems her family is more concerned with you wedding the girl than the baby being delivered safely.

I advice you don't give in to marrying her hurriedly.

How are you sure the pregnancy actually belong to you?

God will have mercy on you and help you out of this.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Eze2000(m): 12:16pm On Jul 25, 2021
chukel:
nwanne, i am igbo and i have my reasons for making tgat comment. Yo most likely did not read the story to the end. A family that can gang up and lie that the poster raped the girl, got her pregnant and absconded. They even went with police to effect arrest of the guy. Will you want to get entangled with such family? Just take your time and read the story. You will see that marriage will never last if it happens. From the story, he may not even be responsible for the pregnancy.


My brother I read it well. All I can say is don't underestimate Human desperation.

I repeat, this guy needs to marry that girl not her lying parents.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Nobody: 12:20pm On Jul 25, 2021
BigDick70inch:


Hey pretty one.........
How is yo beautiful sef doing this early Sunday morning?? kiss

I'm very well, dear.

Thank you.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by jimmynauty: 12:25pm On Jul 25, 2021
Priceless007

Mistake has happened. Don't condemn yourself.

Confess means you agree with Yahweh about the sin..
Which is you HAVE forgiveness of sins according to the riches of His grace.

Praise Him for this.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Nobody: 12:38pm On Jul 25, 2021
Originalsly:


Give me a reason why a parent /a pregnant person would want everything to to with the assumed baby father before birth but absolutely nothing after birth?

You are looking at this whole thing from a totally different angle.

The parents didn't bargain for this so they were taken unawares hence their impromptu decision on the matter. So naturally the first that would come to their mind is to ask the guy to marry the girl.

You don't expect them to reason straight at the moment or up to the point when the child will be born. So I don't see why you're bringing this up. Besides the op admitted he's responsible for the pregnancy.

1 Like

Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by bomsilaga(m): 12:41pm On Jul 25, 2021
My take,
1. Don't bother yourself, most of the people that suspended you dey knack sef and some fit be homo
2. The condition they gave you is marriage, why not do 'small thing' and go back to your life
3. If the family insisted with so much force, why didn't you ask for a cunning grace and wisdom from G-d. You could have outsmarted them.
4. Sex is a gift from G-d, it would have been wrong if you didn't feel anything around her but going all the way to 'chook' should be controlled.
5. You are an adult and shouldn't allow anyone in the name of anything pressure you too much
6. You must not marry who you impregnated but show good faith no matter how little.
Cheers
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Ishilove: 12:42pm On Jul 25, 2021
digitrend:


What Value has you given? You just wasted energy saying absolutely nothing but a display of your own deprivity and cluelessness...
If you have nothing to give be silent , it makes more sense ....
He made a mistake and he is willing to learn and be useful...If your hounger sister was inbolved what would you do?

Grow up pls

Everyone is entitled to their views and he expressed his. You free to drop yours without being uselessly rude.
Re: Help! An Unwanted Pregnancy Is Ruining My Life. by Iyasaburi: 12:42pm On Jul 25, 2021
Well said my brother, you have hitted the nail on the head. Those people are desperate, the send their daughter to trap any guy susceptible to her fancy in the school and Ops fell into the trap. The heart of man is deep well that is hard to know.
Somebody is smiling at you but you don't know why. The guy may not even be the owner of the pregnancy. Otherwise why the desperation, just one knack, pregnancy, then marriage.
OPs don't fall for their plans. Allow time to sort this out for you, and it will surely sort it.

BlueAir:
angry The person wey no well. She even dey push am into well. I didn't want to comment on this thread because I'm very disgusted and in a big pity for the guy and the kind of girl/family he impregnated. This matter shouldn't be a complicated one but due to the desperate girl parents that are desperate to satisfy their own personal ego. All I'll tell this guy is that he should MAN UP and expressively tell them that no amount of coercion can push him into what he's not ready for and that's marriage. If marriage is what they're desperate for rather than peace and stability,then one of them should engage and marry their daughter. Moment I read that bulllhit part of them saying they'll deny him paternity of the child if he doesn't give them marriage,I knew they were igbos no offence meant but that outdated and shameless card is customary to igbos. Seriously no offence meant but I'll always call a spade a spade. So op should damn MAN UP and tell them if they want to keep their daughter and pregnancy they should but one day he'll be back for them legally and forcefully. Shebi Dem get craze ni. Let them and their daughter go and suffer to raise the child alone. If it was easy for them,why chase him up and down with illegal soldiers that are willing to trade their jobs for a few peanut from illegal acts
Op priceless007, should just let the girl and the parents be. And should focus on strengthening himself financially and psychologically, then he can come for their heads. Moments they started with hungry and overzealous soldiers on rampage. They hit the rock bottom and fell into his hand. This sissy op should have felt that. Unless bullying no tire am. He can sue their arses inthe future for bullying and harrasing his family and also denying him his child. If this sissy guy plays his card right,they'll beg and eat dung before him later. They have already subhected him to hell.so whats he afraid of again,when he should be adjusting and moving on according to his own decisions.if u let anyone push u into what u don't feel right,you'll regret it

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