~~~Na Man Wey I Be~~~












~~~ALL RIGHTS RESERVED~~~


~~DEDICATION~~

This Story... Hmm, this story is unfortunately dedicated to my ex girlfriend, she was a part of my success story.
It's a pity she couldn't reap the fruits of her labour. LOL.


And to my Homie that made my hustle story come alive, even though he has lost my number and I'm sure not going to buzz him anytime soon. I wish him well.

Don't get me wrong.... Everyone in my life didn't leave me, I actually left some asides.
Some folks are stones that lift you up, you mustn't carry the stones on your head just because it got you up. It's not betrayal, it's common sense.

Think about it....

Welcome back therock5555

kingphilip:
Welcome back therock5555

Mehn, you're so fast...
welcome bruh....
the first chapter is dedicated to you Sir.... thanks for looking out for me.

BTW check the first post, I modified it...

Is this the original rock,nairaland best story teller

Then why the creation of thread in the first place?

kingphilip:
Welcome back therock5555

Mehn, you're so fast...

welcome bruh....

the first chapter is dedicated to you Sir.... thanks for looking out for me.


BTW check the first post, I modified it...

tommy589:
Is this the original rock,nairaland best story teller

Yes ooo... Howdy bruh?

EzegeNdiigbo:
Then why the creation of thread in the first place?

Bros, be calming down ... Glo network is shitty....

~~INTRODUCTION~~

I'm really tingling to make this an all pidgin classic, but I've been built in a way that I can't type with pidgin for long. My inner Queen's English always kicks in when I write with pidgin for too long. So enjoy the ride y'all....

This isn't just a funny story, it's a true story of a dude still trying to reach the top. It's been a topsy-turvy life for me. I've had really highs, and Downy lows, but I guess that's what motivates me.

So don't read this as a novel or story, pick up some lessons. Let my life teach you lessons, don't just grin and snort at oppourtuned times. Just use my mistakes as a learning tool.

So this story didn't start like a normal tale, this actually started in tragedy, or should I say plain foolery on my side.

Well for one, what I did shouldn't be a surprised to normal folks in Western countries, maybe to some folks in this country.




This is supposed to be a pleasant story, but the fact that I live in the Nigeria with Nigerian parents, a country which has bleeped up folks ruling us, everything suppose dey upside-down.

I call this my breaking bad story. You might say, I am not bad enough? Yes, I'm bad but this world has enough bad for everyone to keep learning till death comes.

I'm tempted to start this story with my worst mistake but una go disturb me if I start that way. So let's go to the very beginning, how my Bleep ups started....

Dedicated to Kingphilip



~~~ONE~~~

I can still remember that fateful day like a drop of ice on my tongue. Oh, I don skip. I can't remember the fateful day again.

Okay I remember it now, my trial and error attempt. I was 15 years old, I had just finished secondary school but was still getting ass whooped by popsy.

That fateful night, after beating my ass for another filmsy reason, I snapped and dared him to fight me in the open. Neighbors soon gathered and held my dad down from rendering me either dead or maimed.

Naso the idea pop into my head, I thought of running away but I was at a disadvantage position. I was barefooted while walking around my area that night, my escape plan was a burst even before I started.

I Somewhat stumbled home, nestled in my dad's car hoping to spend the night there. But popsy was awake in the sitting room. His wife must have nagged him to go get her son or sleep in the parlor cause he quickly joined in his car and apologized to me for the first time in 15 years. I grew up never hearing the word 'sorry' from my dad, he only said it to others. I was always asked to 'Man up'.


Well, now I've realized why my folks kept blocking all chances I had to travel out of the state. They were scared that I'll move someday. So they gave me every chance to stay at home when the whole family travelled for Holidays and Vacations.

I was always the kid that remained back to take care of the house. The excuse if any body asked me or them was that, I was always busy at work. That was true but I could easily get a leave of absence if I insisted.

But as yours truly liked it, it was the period in time that I had maximum time to explore life. I could get home by 3am, roaring drunk, and proudly open door and pass out on the sofa with the door wide open, no single troubles in the world.


Whenever my folks travelled, none of them cared about how I survived. I solely sponsored myself till their return. Even when my siblings were left with me, I still took care of them from my own pocket.

That built my Independent habit over the years, it was just a matter of time before I let go of their leash on me.

Since I was paying NEPA bills and taking care of feeding, I figured out that paying house rent was child's play for me.


Well, I kept my cards close to heart, hoping, waiting for a day that I'll proudly say; "Uduak, Na Man You Be!"


Well, the day came after many years. In a very unexpected manner, but I took my chances and boy did I take them with both hands....

Finally gotten a reason to constantly refresh my page, welcome back bro!

okay... lemme pause for awhile....




Now, to the old fans that remembered me, una know as e dey be. I really don't have the time to tag up folks.

so if the story pleases you, tag your folKs... press like button, drop comments, it would push me a long way...


this is gonna be a long ass ride, so make una grab the edge of una seats....






And then, to those of you that hadn't been following me over the years, I get two complete stories on ground. so you could shoot me a PM or hit me on up WhatsApp.... number is on my Siggy....

rafikii:
Finally gotten a reason to constantly refresh my page, welcome back bro!

welcome Man...

Eh, I've got...


1. Hell Hath No Fury Like A Scorned Woman

and

2. The Ashawo Chronicles and Other Stories....



So please go straight to the point if we're dealing... I no too like WhatsApp.

check my signature or hit my PM. Thanks y'all...

My man Uduakobong ...

This story is looking very promising. Would love to see how the creeping and galloping inflation over they years in Nigeria affected you in your quest to be a man

Warisdis?

Therock5555:
Mehn, you're so fast...

welcome bruh....

the first chapter is dedicated to you Sir.... thanks for looking out for me.


BTW check the first post, I modified it...

that's the effect of following someone o

I'm sure this one will be great too

swiz123:
My man Uduakobong ...

This story is looking very promising. Would love to see how the creeping and galloping inflation over they years in Nigeria affected you in your quest to be a man

omor baba, Buhari carry my eyes seen whine...



chapter 2 loading....


maybe 3.... tonight....

kingphilip:
that's the effect of following someone o

I'm sure this one will be great too

I would by God's grace sir....

new chapter loadly......

~~~TWO~~~

Ever since I remembered, my parents had always cried out about respecting boundaries as siblings. The boys had one room, the girls another. As we grew bigger, rooms started getting assigned rooms according to our ages, my elder sister and I soon had ours.

Well sooner rather than later, the whole family started pulling apart. School, Marriage, Work, Assignments etc... Most times we were together just four or five at a time.

As time progressed, popsy decided to rent out the bigger house and buy a smaller one. A decision I had no impact on, I just got informed one morning that we were moving to a smaller house.


Well I didn't flinch one bit, I was cool with it, that period I was staying with my mom and kid sister who was about getting an admission to a tetiary institution nearby. She was elated that at least she would leave home. So that would have left me with my parents or Mom, most times.

But then my dad's next words hit me like a soldier man's slap; the house I bought has just two bedrooms so you'll have to share it with your kid sister till she leaves for school.

I smiled wrily. This was music to my ears. Omoh that one na dirty yarns. But I dared not say anything, I just simply left for work.


My heart was boiling, like how did all this happened without me having a say in it. Wetin come be my use as first son. Okay the decision made sense, I had to manage for some months and then the room would-be mine. But then that would leave me alone with my hawk eyed parents.


Now that's a situation you don't wanna be in. As of then, I would go out every evening to hit the blunt, then spray enough body spray and perfume which I smuggled earlier, then come home chewing gum and Tom-tom concurrently. My mom once asked me if I was an Ashawo for always chewing gum everynight I came back.

I'll brush her off quietly and walk to my room, no qualms. My dad would be observing for every signs of staggering. Me wey dey kampe.

So the die was cast. We were relocating in two weeks. I had less than that to make a plan.

Everything looked rosy on paper, my finances and job could keep me for at least six months, I just had to avoid rent for awhile. I needed a friend to accommodate me for a month or two and I'll be good.

I tightened all the rough edges and checked all boxes. In my mind the plan was fool proof.


But then that Shit head called Karma eh.....

The Bitch landed a big fat hammer on my testicles......

okay, lemme drop chapter 3 ASAP. ..

enjoy today y'all ..

~~~ THREE~~~

The company I was working then was owned by a rich ass family. It was a business empire owned by a man with four wives. Now I won't go to far into this. But picture this, one man, four wives(two dead), lots of children, lots and lots of grandchildren, and even some great-grandchildren. Still the man still dey read without glasses, I kid you not.

Okay that is not relevant, but picture me, the star boy of the business empire. I have never portrayed myself as an upright person, any chance I get to grow bigger, I dey quickly jump ship. Don't wanna brag but I was like the proverbial Joseph in the Bible, everything I touched bossomed. And so did any body I walked for. So once one brother sees that I'm trying for the other, they'll quickly offer me a better payout with more bonuses. I dey jump ship instantly.

No be my papa company nah, I came for the paper. I ain't dying broke.

Well it's said that, "with greater power comes greater responsibilities", but with me, the higher I climbed the ladder, the more enemies I cooked up.


That didn't disturb me one bit..... Until I got burnt....



I was walking for the second youngest son at that moment, I was the highest paid in the company, infact only my salary pass like three folks combined. My enemies list quandripled. I was doing well for my boss too.

He was the richest sibling In that family, even more than his dad. So he built himself lots of haters too. And as his right hand man, it was only a matter of time before shit hits the fan.




I was opening his warehouse one morning, stocks were coming in, so I was there early. I felt the sting like a mosquito bite, just under the back of my left foot.

Out of instinct, I slapped my leg and scratch the spot before walking in. Well the itching continued all day long.

By evening, a small boil had form on the spot. I ignored it for two days, until the scratching became unbearable, the small boil had become a nice painless fairly swollen lump. It was spreading at an alarming rate. The scratching was out of this world. I noticed that the scratching was hellish in the night , during the day I still worked perfectly, save for a few scratch or two.


All this while my folks were still planning to relocate. When I called Mumsy attention on the fourth day, she said it was boil, so I should get some drugs.

Okay, some Drugs became lots of drugs, I was paying over my nose for drugs from different pharmacies. One kobo didn't come from my folks, In their words, na your problem, you're man enough to get drugs for yourself.



Where was I in all these, if I wasn't rolling around all night scratching my foot off, I was either taking drugs or managing to work.

My left foot was swollen to the size of a medium size paw paw but I was managing to still walk normally cause I felt no pain, just mind blogging scratching.

Well one thing that didn't get lost was my stubborn desire to flee when my parents were moving. The odds were now stacked fully against me. My finances were dwindling at an alarming rate.

Unfortunately, that was the period that I knew that I helped more people than how I got helpers. Most of my friends still stayed with their parents, most of them agreed to accommodate me but at the cost of my freedom, I'll always be indoors except I'm working or their parents are out, which significantly means I'll be like a refugee. Why won't I just remain in my parents house.


Well salvation came in an unexpected manner. It came as a buddy of mine. Collins......




Now, if your memory is sharp and you have read my last story, I dedicated a mini chapter to talk about that boy and his birthday party where he invited my ex Grace and squad to come attend his birthday.

The same birthday that he had only a bottle of wine and wanted over fifty people to sip like holy Communion.

The same Collins that we called 'Tax Collector'. The same dude that tasked everybody he meets. Now why would I like to stay with such niqqa? Why would anybody wanna live with such niqqa?Well lemme tell you, I'm not anybody....

eh.... in as much as I'll love to drop more chapter today, lemme rest small....

I'll up my ante this time and be dropping an average of two to three chapters each day
...

Ain't keeping no promises though....just hang on with me....

dimexy247:
Warisdis?

hang on bruh, we're getting there...

am almost at cloud 9.....you got a good story, am a story lover .....I wish you don't stop...!


more strength to you ...

am gonna save this page cus it's gonna be a sweet ride...
thanks to you @therock5555

I'm looking forward to it

Therock5555:


hang on bruh, we're getting there...

This niqqa is back, the ashawo warlord.

Therock5555:
okay... lemme pause for awhile....




Now, to the old fans that remembered me, una know as e dey be. I really don't have the time to tag up folks.

so if the story pleases you, tag your folKs... press like button, drop comments, it would push me a long way...


this is gonna be a long ass ride, so make una grab the edge of una seats....






And then, to those of you that hadn't been following me over the years, I get two complete stories on ground. so you could shoot me a PM or hit me on up WhatsApp.... number is on my Siggy....

Flow is back! Good lord I've been bragging to my friends about how great stories are on nairaland, stories that if made into a script and acted will improve Nollywood exponentially!

Glad you're back!

leonard509:



Flow is back! Good lord I've been bragging to my friends about how great stories are on nairaland, stories that if made into a script and acted will improve Nollywood exponentially!

Glad you're back!

Rock and flow no be the same.

swiz123:


Rock and flow no be the same.

Wait what?

Shits mixed up in my head i guess..