Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,143,176 members, 7,780,224 topics. Date: Thursday, 28 March 2024 at 11:06 AM

Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One - Romance (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One (39125 Views)

How Did You Later Discover You Were Dating Who Was Not Dating You? (photos) / My Friend Married A Narcissist And I Am Now Her Emotional Wastebin / I Hope I’m Not Dating A Corporate Olosho? Help, It’s My Girlfriend & Waist Beads (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Youngpo413: 8:56pm On Aug 05, 2021
Chawoan:
I am currently dating one presently. We started late June and I felt I was lucky because he was always calling and showing care. But recently I have started seeing the other side of him. He always likes to be in control and always uses this statement when we are settling issues " let me finish". He never sees anything wrong with what he does.

I can't even talk to any guy, he feels they are asking me out. Once he is angry he doesn't care where we are he will just burst out. In turn he will blame me for making him act that way. This my first time to meet such, I never knew relationship was this hard until now.
Run! except he is very rich...then u can stay.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by thecommunist(m): 8:59pm On Aug 05, 2021
majority of supposed "normal" Nigerians are actually narcissist.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by jimmynauty: 8:59pm On Aug 05, 2021
This attitude. Piece of cake in graceMode.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Zivaharry(m): 9:03pm On Aug 05, 2021
Mtmike:
Here comes another reason to break up..... Babe I'm sorry, I'm a narcissistic
hahahahahaha ... What a point, you made here.....
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Nobody: 9:04pm On Aug 05, 2021
jaxxy:
I think I’ve dated one I’m not completely sure yet bt it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Drama or an issue every other day, I have to check up on her regularly or at intervals or she begins to think I don’t care or find her attractive which wasn’t the case Just that when I’m busy I don’t have time for too many distractions or things that can wait. She always wants to be the center of my attention which she actually was bt it became very manipulative and selfish at some point and That got me extremely pissed off at some point.

Most likely borderline. Not narcissism.

2 Likes

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by jaxxy(m): 9:10pm On Aug 05, 2021
toren:


Most likely borderline. Not narcissism.

Yeah I’m guessing so. Her zodiac (pisces) also wasn’t helping matters. It was an exhausting experience with some nice moments tho bt how long do I keep up with that. sad undecided

I’m not down with that.

Then she told me she was bipolar and I didn’t know wether to freak out or help her out or if she understood what she was saying. undecided
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Zivaharry(m): 9:12pm On Aug 05, 2021
pansophist:


Una no fit change, but carry your case to baba God, maybe miracle de there. But as far as studies on narcs are concerned, your situation is everlasting.
you trying to scare him or what,..... it's a personality.... billions of people like that trait......
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by mariahAngel(f): 9:14pm On Aug 05, 2021
Chawoan:
I am currently dating one presently. We started late June and I felt I was lucky because he was always calling and showing care. But recently I have started seeing the other side of him. He always likes to be in control and always uses this statement when we are settling issues " let me finish". He never sees anything wrong with what he does.

I can't even talk to any guy, he feels they are asking me out. Once he is angry he doesn't care where we are he will just burst out. In turn he will blame me for making him act that way. This my first time to meet such, I never knew relationship was this hard until now.

What are you going to do about it?
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by nwajesus12(m): 9:15pm On Aug 05, 2021
yemmight:
I also think I have a few of these traits.
most people do
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by mariahAngel(f): 9:18pm On Aug 05, 2021
pansophist:


Una no fit change, but carry your case to baba God, maybe miracle de there. But as far as studies on narcs are concerned, your situation is everlasting.

It seems you took delight in telling him that.

1 Like

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by tslimpez(f): 9:22pm On Aug 05, 2021
99.9% of Cancer signs have this trait.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by pansophist(m): 9:23pm On Aug 05, 2021
mariahAngel:


It seems you took delight in telling him that.

No, just being humorous. Took no delight in that.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by pansophist(m): 9:23pm On Aug 05, 2021
Zivaharry:
you trying to scare him or what,..... it's a personality.... billions of people like that trait......

Not that.

1 Like

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by mariahAngel(f): 9:25pm On Aug 05, 2021
MIM77:


Their fleeing away is the 3rd Stage of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) called Discard stage. This stage is the terminal point of the entire fraud. Mine created a drama around 2am with all manners of abuses,lying, blameshifting etc as she had been doing in the last 8 years. She threatened to leave and i said let her be, surprisingly, she left to our neighbours house and cooked up lies about me. It was in the morning my neighbour was telling me about all the lies, by then she had left the estate. One thing about Narcs is that before they discard they would have secured another prospective victim who will also suffer what you have suffered. Life with a Narc is like hell on earth. Living with a Narc is like living in a toxic waste bin.


Na wah o!

Where do you people find these (kinds of) people?
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Nobody: 9:50pm On Aug 05, 2021
mariahAngel:


What are you going to do about it?


I will just break up with him. This what even pissed me, yesterday he asked me to meet him at a bar, I don't like going to bars and he knows it. I went there he was with a relative he wanted to introduce me. He asked me to order and I told him I wasn't eating this was because I was fasting and I let him know that's the reason.

I told him I will prefer fruits first but they were not selling there. He said he will go get fruit salad but I told him to leave it since I will soon be leaving, it was already past 6. That's where I bought wahala oh, that that's how I will be doing that why will I say I won't eat. His relative was listening to us now, I wanted the whole thing to end there so we won't display outside. He no gree oh. That he knows going to a bar too is sin for me that even Jesus broke his fast with water and me I will just be forming what he doesn't know.

I didn't even know what to say, his relative was watching us. I told him am not him, the fact that he breaks with water doesn't mean I will too. The statement broke the carmel's back oh, he said in short I should just go. That why will I make such a statement to him, that it means I don't want to learn. Kai him matter just tire me, once he has an opinion about something, he feels everyone else must have the same. This someone that was asking me to introduce him to my parents and was talking marriage when the relationship was not even up to a month. I told him to calm down that we needed to study ourselves more. Thank God I didn't oh.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by tobeymichael16(m): 9:58pm On Aug 05, 2021
abbey621:
Here's a shocker, majority of humans in this world are narcissists. It is one of the core traits of being human, let no one tell you otherwise! In life everything must be looked at in terms of severity, we all have that dark side but majority of us are fortunate to have anchors that limits that darkness. Behavioral analysis of the human psyche is a controversial yet often misguided journey, what you call narcissistic, another will call assertive or leadership. For example in the business world, the best and most successful business moguls are by definition narcissist, they are obssessed with their craft and often will break your heart if you don't have a thick skin. In relationships, if you are dating a man or married to a man that basically does everything for you then naturally you've given him the power of a narcissist, same goes for guys who can't cook, sleep or think properly without their girlfriend/wife.

It's part of life and it is completely unavoidable, the real question here is this, how does one narcisst maintain a relationship with another narcisst? Think about it, unless you don't have an emotional connection with your partner, how do you resist the urge to have a say in how they dress, eat, mingle etc? Your woman did hair, makeup and you didn't even notice due to hectic work schedule, do you call her a narcissist for having emotional tantrum or getting upset? You are broke and could not fulfill a promise to your wife so you bone face and start a fight just to avoid that promise, are you a narcissist? It's one thing to throw around fancy words and use theories, it's another to actually view things in practical/real life.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Halle000: 10:15pm On Aug 05, 2021
My Migration: Story My children Drink Person Piss In Libya- Returnee


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id49orbj6nM
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by okejep(m): 10:19pm On Aug 05, 2021
God bless you for this write up. You will live long in Jesus name! Amen!

2 Likes

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by 1MILLIONLiGHTS(m): 10:38pm On Aug 05, 2021
Many Nigerians are very much like the mythical guy narcissus. Narcs love to stare at the mirror always, some like to blast music for long hours. Loneliness, yes. Love to give unsolicited advice. Their conversations is always full of "I am" " Me". "My" talk more about themselves.

5 Likes

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by niel63(m): 10:55pm On Aug 05, 2021
But looking at the whole thing, aren't all these men's nature? I mean how then do your partner truly know and connect with you ? This life sef... you dey like this, ure this, you decide dey like that, they will say you are not sharp? You people should just choose a side and stick to it... wait first, who endorses all these in the name of psychology? Do you mean to tell me they are ALWAYS right?

If I choose not to be pushed aside, played on, used or otherwise, that automatically makes me one right?
But do you know, in similar situations and in certain environments, "you are a mumu man".... grin grin grin I mean, look at all these... the whole thing just dey tiring and then Naija wahala... who really cares what you are these days?
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Happy2020: 11:59pm On Aug 05, 2021
I once dated a narcissist, gave him two years of my life, before it ended I was so far in the gutter, crying daily, bank account empty, I literally had to pick myself up off the floor. Luckily I finally realized, healed and moved on to a good men. The narcissist still today tries to contact me.
Stay far away from these leeches if you can, they sick you dry of everything, your self esteem, money, everything they can get from you like a vampire.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by NovusHomo(m): 11:59pm On Aug 05, 2021
sunshineV:
lol i'm staring at one right now

I'll tell him what you wrote. grin grin grin
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by NovusHomo(m): 12:02am On Aug 06, 2021
binarymachine:
I thought you loved me… you used to be so charming and nice to me, texting me almost every second of the day…..oh babe, you’re so nice, you’re beautiful, we are so compatible. Come meet my mom. Two months into the Relationship, Boom. The real narcissistic personality comes out. They are not able to regulate their emotions any longer. They become very angry quickly especially when they’re not getting their way, they become very hypersensitive to criticism. They literally doubts you on almost everything leaving you feeling like you’ve gone crazy.

Narcissistic partners are very captivating at the initial stage of a relationship and with time, the relationship becomes very challenging, how well do you know your partner? How well can you tell if they have these traits? Accordingly, There are certain things to look out for in your partner to conclusively tell he or she is narcissistic.

The term “Narcissism” is most times used in recent years without understanding it’s indept meaning. Let’s look at the meaning of narcissism.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism as otherwise seen as Narcissistic personality disorders (NPD) by psychologist is defined as a trait that solely relates to insecurity, a pattern which is characterized by lack of empathy, controlling, arrogant, inability for one to manage any kind of disappointment, chronic validation seeking, feeling entitled, grandiosity, extremely self centered with some degree of selfishness. Study shows that there are 4 types of Narcissism and not all Narcissist are the same. For the purpose of this topic I may not want to go into that. Alot of people have either found themselves in relationships with such partners or encountered people who exhibit these tendencies.

Who Is A Narcissistic Partner?

Narcissistic Partner is an insecure person in a relationship who seem very charming and nice at the start of a relationship but later becomes that person who lacks empathy, feels entitled, always expecting special treatment to be given to them but nobody else, they’re very concerned about their appearance, very prone to throwing tantrums, with too much sense of self importance, they get angry very quickly especially if they don’t get their way.

How Well can you tell if your partner is a narcissist?

Ever noticed your partner liking and showing so much care at the beginning of the relationship and later declines as the likability decreases, they only tend to appreciate you when in need? They become highly self centered, Your value comes when you’re able to meet their needs, they get hurt and lash out easily, their only concerns are their goals and reputation, lacks empathy whereby your significant other should be loving. They are all about knowing how you feel about them. all about themselves. Desperately needing validation and adoration, Very controlling, watch their reaction toward criticism, do they over react? Are they very manipulative and defensive? Do they make you feel bad for ever speaking up? Are they the type that’s always on the “ I know more than you” side? Feeling too important, acting like they know more than their partner while their partner is always wrong? Projecting everything they can back at you leaving you feeling You’re not enough, Are they ready to sacrifice anything on the platter of their ego? With too much sense of entitlement? These are signs you should look out for in your partner, if you find these traits in them, it’s safe to say they may be narcissist.

Ultimately, Being in a relationship with a narcissistic partner takes alot of work and patience because they make you feel very special until these feelings start to shift , as soon as there are some stress in their system, maybe things not going as planned, work day didn’t go the way they want, kids behaving badly, they become manipulative, Gaslights you, egocentric, extremely self centered and you begin to blame yourself for their actions, you devalue yourself, you loose focus and self esteem.

Narcissistic partners projects issues or fault back unto their partners, they say things like, “you made me do what I did, you didn’t allow me to finish what I had to say, you interrupted me” . Once this happens, you may not want to confront them any longer, they dismiss you with that, they make you understand their point is more important than what you had to say. The point you’re trying to make at that point doesn’t make any sense. They make you look like you’re the controlling one while they are ,trying to make you feel you’re the one with the issue here, and you’ll just pull back and begin to apologize. This is exactly what they want ,they want you to feel you’re the one with the problem and not them. If you try to point their mistakes or remind them, maybe they forgot to pay some bills they promised, they will be like” because you’ve done it before, please face your problems.

People in this relationship always feel they’re not enough“ If I was enough, he wouldn’t cheat on me, if I was enough, he wouldn’t insult me, if I was enough, he would be present when I needed him, if I was enough he wouldn’t do this and that” These aching feeling of not being enough is one of those Signs you’re currently in a relationship with a narcissist, you keep making excuses for them , hoping they’ll change, but no matter how you try, they just make you feel you’re never enough. Oh please, just stop this, the truth is that it has nothing to do with you, they just can’t regulate their self esteem, they’re are now insecure, they now feel entitled, broken inside, they tend to protect it by all means, they feel no one is better than them.

Unfortunately, people with narcissistic personality often see nothing wrong with what they do, as such there’s no point for change in them, in as much as a narcissist cannot completely change, there are certain things they could do in hope to recovering such Relationship. Narcissistic partners should break out of the norm and focus on showing more empathy for others, they should care about how others feel, they should drop their ego, Stop thinking they are better than others, they should welcome critics as a step to their growth and reviving a narcissistic Relationship.
Source:
https://flipmemes.com/2021/06/25/narcissistic-relationship-how-well-can-you-tell-if-you-are-dating-a-narcissist/


Can somebody just summer rice it? grin grin
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by NovusHomo(m): 12:19am On Aug 06, 2021
SmartyPants:
My ex is a medical doctor and she insists I'm a proper narcissist

Congratulations grin grin.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by NovusHomo(m): 12:21am On Aug 06, 2021
NoFucksToGive:

This topic has been so over done on YouTube and on dating websites.

There are over a.million articles and videos online telling you how to know if you are dating a narcissistic person.

Yet this was brought to front page ?

Is it there is no content available or what ?

Why don't you just go ahead and create one?
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Moji12(f): 12:55am On Aug 06, 2021
Op you can't say it any better, you are so on point. A narcissists will never see anything wrong in what he does but blames other. He will never accept his own mistake but rather point fingers. The most annoying part of it is they never believe they are narcissistic. Their self denial is top-notch. undecided . Nice write up kudos.

5 Likes

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Moji12(f): 1:00am On Aug 06, 2021
Ladylawyer:
I didn't know about the word naracissim until recently. And i also learnt one thing, they mostly attach themselves to people with low self esteem. If you value yourself they wouldn't have so much power over you and so they will take off with the speed of light because the supply which they seek from you, they will not get.
They feel better when they oppress you and make you cry. The tears of their significant other gives the narcissist so much joy.
wow this is deep but I can relate.

1 Like

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by VickyRotex(f): 1:11am On Aug 06, 2021
Excellent read! Thanks for sharing Op! cool
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by NovusHomo(m): 1:15am On Aug 06, 2021
Youngpo413:
Run! except he is very rich...then u can stay.

Ah, M-O-N-E-Y! grin grin
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Munzy14(m): 2:36am On Aug 06, 2021
mariahAngel:


What are you going to do about it?
Lol....This question eehhh...cheesy
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bukhety(f): 3:21am On Aug 06, 2021
Plut01:

.


Thank you. My point exactly!

Even on this thread, almost everyone are calling their ex a narcist and I believe their ex would probably be saying same thing if they read a thread like this.



.
A narc enjoys trouble, seeks it. It's more than just been jealous. There is a pattern of attention seeking in a narc, if they don't get it, they throw tantrums. Getting angry over minor thing. This is a clear personality disorder, its different from the normal issues people face. I pray you don't meet one. They can drain one mentally and emotionally. It's tiring abeg.

1 Like

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by BRATISLAVA: 3:39am On Aug 06, 2021
pansophist:


They can, and they make the worse narcisst. Deadlier than any kind of narcisst. And its because INFJ personality types are the god of manipulation, narcissistic people are amateurs and nothing but pencils in their hands.

Think of some of the most renowned folks that deal and wrote extensively about narcs, you'll see that they are INFJ (eg Carl Jung). InFJ are natures balancers to narcissism. If you want a narc to shit on his pants, match with a INFJ that is aware. Narc are only useful to people that don't know them. I deal with them. Well.

I feel any personality can be drawn to narcissism, because it's a mental state.

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (Reply)

Help! I'm Emotionally Wrecked! / Is It Proper To Ask Her Out Via Phone Call? / 6 Things Nigerian Women Must Do To Make Themselves More Attractive To Men

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 61
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.