rex21:


Use my head you say ??
Your words are myopic and rather lugubrious to say the least. At her age, what does she need that much money for that she couldn't get from him. Only her surname could fetch her what ever she needed. My brother, she can still get whatever money can buy and still stay married to him. My guy, be open minded and practical. You dont have to sound/act African in everything

You are just beating about the bush and didn't even answer my question! How else would she have gotten such percentage of bill gate wealth if not through divorce? Do u think love for money is limited to age?? A lady who went to rent a private island worth USD132k per day is that the type of woman u say what she would need that amount of money for? I laugh u...

Rubbiish:

You are just beating about the bush and didn't even answer my question! How else would she have gotten such percentage of bill gate wealth if not through divorce? Do u think love for money is limited to age?? A lady who went to rent a private island worth USD132k per day is that the type of woman u say what she would need that amount of money for? I laugh u...

Your mind is made up on money, i rest my case. So someone will give up companionship and relationship over the same money even if you pick the other. You nor include gates 'supposedly' extra marital affairs. Abeg, i cant even flog this horse again. Its pointless

FreeIgboho:


Exactly why some end up in jail or become fraudsters. So how is OP wrong?

His reaction to the event was the pivot to his crisis but not the event.

If I have a contact that is very rich politician, Why in the hell will I go and beg him money with my pregnant wife?

Why will I go and do pity me party at his house.

I will make him my patron, and sell anything from furniture, to clothes, to general services to even Ideas.

The moment you beg, you have destroy your self-worth.

Marriage doesn't make people beg or work hard.

It's only reveal your true self to the world.

Untill you get married, you won't know what you capable of doing. Good or bad.

xavuv:
If i tell u what early marriage has done for me ehnnn....
First of all, Im grateful that early marriage exposed the sad "crack or abnormalies" in my foundation.

So many sad secrets from my foundation came to light inwhich im grateful they were exposed earlier rather than now or later.

I used to think my foundation is near perfect until marriage exposed them very early in my life.

Hmmmm....

Please kindly explain for better understanding.

rex21:


How many people in the old days that stayed unmarried because of wealth ??
You rightly said, the wealthy married many because they can cater for them, the less privileged ones married as their might could carry. Who are you even doing parties for sef, na wa o. Are you living for the society ??

You say everything i listed can be achieved without being married, did you see where i initially wrote legal

My guy, i ddnt say rush into marriage now. I said if you can date her, then you can marry her

The comment i quoted was centered on this.

I'm not married and i'm not dating. When i can do one, then i can do both. Thats my conviction

I know u r not too dumb to see the flaw in what u r saying. There are about equal number of men and women born. If some men married many women, some men would necessarily be unmarried. It's simple math.
Once again u r talking like someone who lives alone on an island. Marriage comes with certain societal expectations. You CAN'T not try to meet them, just like u CAN'T just put your dead in the ground in Igbo land without spending money - as moslems can do.

You did say rush into marriage - that's what u r doing when u marry when u r not ready to meet societal expectations of a normal marriage.

Kazim88:


His reaction to the event was the pivot to his crisis but not the event.

If I have a contact that is very rich politician, Why in the hell will I go and beg him money with my pregnant wife?

Why will I go and do pity me party at his house.

I will make him my patron, and sell anything from furniture, to clothes, to general services to even Ideas.

The moment you beg, you have destroy your self-worth.

Marriage doesn't make people beg or work hard.

It's only reveal your true self to the world.

Untill you get married, you won't know what you capable of doing. Good or bad.

I don't know what u r talking about. We are are discussing how some people can be pressured into crime/fraud.
There is no "true self". Anybody can gradually be turned into somebody who can do anything,, including murder.
Many life situations can "reveal your true self"

FreeIgboho:


I know u r not too dumb to see the flaw in what u r saying. There are about equal number of men and women born. If some men married many women, some men would necessarily be unmarried. It's simple math.
Once again u r talking like someone who lives alone on an island. Marriage comes with certain societal expectations. You CAN'T not try to meet them, just like u CAN'T just put your dead in the ground in Igbo land without spending money - as moslems can do.

You did say rush into marriage - that's what u r doing when u marry when u r not ready to meet societal expectations of a normal marriage.

Just look at your reasoning. Your first paragraph states categorically that most men remain unmarried because women to marry is finished. Does it make sense ??

Oga its not about living on an island. One cannot please society in everything, one cannot even please himself completely, let alone society. Stop thinking myopic oga. You can do burial anywhere in the world on a low budget. FYI i'm an igbo person and have witnessed several 'small' burials. Person wey never see go just dey yarn. It depends largely on your root family. While some will insist, some will consider. There is no law written on stone with regards to ceremonies. Sometimes, i wonder how people just reason. Are you marrying your wife because of societal expectations ??.
That is just plain stupid. The only thing society demands of you is to be civil in your marriage, no quarrels or disturbing the peace. I'v seen nigerian couples that have decided not to even give birth. Some have decided to live in the village, some have decided to live off-grid. Who the F lives to please society

Guy change your perspective so that you can be happy. Live, dont just exist.

Well, it is not against natural laws to bring somebody's daughter to your place when you experience some financial problems. Finance is not natural! However, I do agree with you that making a family when you have no job or earn very little is an awful decision which will affect you and your family. Think twice before making such decisions and calculate everything right. Love will disappear very soon and you'll be left without anything.

Some people are just commenting no sense, instead of thinking very well to understand what the op mean.

If you are still struggling to feed yourself not to talk of helping your family e.g junior siblings or your parents, you should not think of getting married at that moment.

If you don't have a reliable source of income, no matter how small it is giving you, do not consider getting married at that period.

The op is not trying to say you must acquire billions before marriage.

There is a clear difference that you had something before marriage and after marriage temptation took away all you had, than you don't have Shishi not even something that will bring it later hopefully, and you dived into it. You might survive it but they will be a lot of scars left in your emotional state.

Lastly, consider the future of your children, who will experience the poverty if you did not survive it until they grew up and start struggling just like you their father did.

It's understandable that you have tried a lot, but it is not coming, than you have not tried at all and you think you will carry your struggling together with family responsibility. You will never know the taste of your life and how you spend it on earth. Because frustration will deal with you mercilessly even if you marry a good wife. You will still not be happy with yourself, expect if you are the type of man that feel happy seeing your wife taking care of your responsibility. I will say you will not feel it.

rex21:


Just look at your reasoning. Your first paragraph states categorically that most men remain unmarried because women to marry is finished. Does it make sense ??

Oga its not about living on an island. One cannot please society in everything, one cannot even please himself completely, let alone society. Stop thinking myopic oga. You can do burial anywhere in the world on a low budget. FYI i'm an igbo person and have witnessed several 'small' burials. Person wey never see go just dey yarn. It depends largely on your root family. While some will insist, some will consider. There is no law written on stone with regards to ceremonies. Sometimes, i wonder how people just reason. Are you marrying your wife because of societal expectations ??.
That is just plain stupid. The only thing society demands of you is to be civil in your marriage, no quarrels or disturbing the peace. I'v seen nigerian couples that have decided not to even give birth. Some have decided to live in the village, some have decided to live off-grid. Who the F lives to please society

Guy change your perspective so that you can be happy. Live, dont just exist.

How can u be telling a blatant lie?! I said SOME men not most. It is simple maths. Just as what would happen if one woman started marrying multiple men.

Bros, the point is YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET MARRIED! It is not like when someone dies or other unavoidable situations. You can't even say u r doing it to have kids because u said you'd avoid having kids. So u r getting married just to be a societal misfit??!!

FreeIgboho:


How can u be telling a blatant lie?! I said SOME men not most. It is simple maths. Just as what would happen if one woman started marrying multiple men.



Bros, the point is YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET MARRIED! It is not like when someone dies or other unavoidable situations. You can't even say u r doing it to have kids because u said you'd avoid having kids. So u r getting married just to be a societal misfit??!!

So, some men remain unmarried in the old days where love is not even a criteria due to lack of women to marry ??
Your assertions are mischievous and equally lugubrious



So if one gets married without your listed points, he becomes a societal misfit ??
Na wa for this kinda reasoning o.

I shouldn't bother engaging you in a discussion, its pointless. Live your life at your own pace bro. No need beating this horse further, e don die already.

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

I'm presently in that situation

FreeIgboho:


I don't know what u r talking about. We are are discussing how some people can be pressured into crime/fraud.
There is no "true self". Anybody can gradually be turned into somebody who can do anything,, including murder.
Many life situations can "reveal your true self"

Pressure on any "Body" is universal, it is simple Physics.

If you apply pressure on orange, what will come out of it will be orange seed and Juice, not mango.

It's common sense, when you are under pressure, you would anchor your survival on what you truly believe will save you.

MrBrownJay1:


bro, the problem here is that you are thinking like a broke person. a good woman who doesnt respect you as a poor man, will still NOT respect you as a rich man. money does not equate to respect....only broke begging deluded people suddenly respect you when you have money BECAUSE THEY NOW WANT YOU TO HELP THEM. its only oloshos that will suddenly admire you because you have money AND its only broke minded men that believe that when they get money they will settle with all the oloshos in the world.

just because many women in Nigeria are broke deluded beings (who sell themselves to the highest bidder), doesnt mean that this what you should now use as a tool to value life... IF A WOMAN DOESNT VALUE YOU AS A POOR MAN, THEN SHE HAS NO BUSINESS BEING IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU FINALLY MAKE MONEY. if you decide to be with such woman then the joke is on you.

the sad statement you made that "if you dont have money you are nothing" is such a clueless statement, but then again, thats what most broke minded people would say...they really believe that all their problems lies with having money. all their lives revolves around money and they actually believe that if they are ugly, then with money attracting oloshos to their sorry lives, they will now become beautiful..if they are rude they will become nice, if they are bad they will become good; if they are evil they will become saints; if they are disgusting they will become sweet abi?!?!? sadly, let me help you on the subject...if you are a shitty poor person, you will simply turn into a rich SHITTY person... attracting shittier person in your life (like oloshos).

as for your family, if having money is the only way that they will respect you, then i feel sorry for the family you got. as for a wife, if she wouldnt respect you if you were broke, then the joke is on you for marrying such worthless good for nothing disrespectful wife.

BTW go ask Steve Jobs, TB Joshua etc if all their Billions (who gave them access to the very best health care), made any difference....

1. Most women change after marriage . . . so if she tells you she doesn't care before marriage - while she does mean it at that point, she would change her mind afterward.

2. Finance is the single biggest cause of divorces globally. Emotions aside, no family would run on a chewing stick - you need money. Before we all transitioned into a modern society, all across the world - even here in Africa, we recognized the importance of a man providing for his family, hence the deep shame Okonkwo (Things Fall Apart) felt, and associated with his father being fed by a woman. There is virtually no culture in the world that does not assign the role of provider to the man.

3. Even in the Bible, we are told that a man unable to provide for his family is worse than an infidel. The problem of many of us is that we have come to normalize living in want and penury. A classic case in point - most Igbo men giving up their youth to face their hustle, so they can later be able to provide a fairly comfortable life for their family. A lot of Nigerians on the other hand would simply chant 'e go better' and mess up their lives.

4. So to justify one's own ego of being a 'Family Man', One should go and marry into penury, raise his Kids in abject lack, deny them of quality nutrition and education, and a safe environment to grow and thrive in? Makes no sense. I'm not saying be a rich man, but at least be able to comfortably feed at least two mouths, before dabbling in it.

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

Can we talk on whatsapp?

Kazim88:


Pressure on any "Body" is universal, it is simple Physics.

If you apply pressure on orange, what will come out of it will be orange seed and Juice, not mango.

It's common sense, when you are under pressure, you would anchor your survival on what you truly believe will save you.

So stop making it sound like you need marriage to "reveal your true self".
Bottom line, make sure u r somewhat financially stable b4 getting married

rex21:

So, some men remain unmarried in the old days where love is not even a criteria due to lack of women to marry ??
Your assertions are mischievous and equally lugubrious



So if one gets married without your listed points, he becomes a societal misfit ??
Na wa for this kinda reasoning o.

I shouldn't bother engaging you in a discussion, its pointless. Live your life at your own pace bro. No need beating this horse further, e don die already.

Bros, bottom line, make sure u r somewhat financially stable b4 getting married. Simple common sense and you are arguing it! You'd rather marry without following any societal protocol of a proper marriage, and be taking contraceptives, and be avoiding in-laws, etc.
Nothing people no go argue!

FreeIgboho:


Bros, bottom line, make sure u r somewhat financially stable b4 getting married. Simple common sense and you are arguing it! You'd rather marry without following any societal protocol of a proper marriage, and be taking contraceptives, and be avoiding in-laws, etc.
Nothing people no go argue!

You are just making blind assertions simply to justify your flawed conviction. ts alright, besides, ts your prerogative.

If you can date, you can marry. Its a simple fact

rex21:

You are just making blind assertions simply to justify your flawed conviction. ts alright, besides, ts your prerogative.

If you can date, you can marry. Its a simple fact

FALSE!!! Dating does not involve in-laws and their obligations, neither does it involve setting up a homestead. Once you call it marriage expectations and obligations skyrocket. Don't be a fool and get into it thinking you'd simply avoid those obligations and expectations!

FreeIgboho:


FALSE!!! Dating does not involve in-laws and their obligations, neither does it involve setting up a homestead. Once you call it marriage expectations and obligations skyrocket. Don't be a fool and get into it thinking you'd simply avoid those obligations and expectations!

Brother mi, put eye for ground before you date, dont goan pick up a liability as a wife or handicaps as in-laws. Even with a 7 figure income, hbp go still finish you. My small advice for you

rex21:


Brother mi, put eye for ground before you date, dont goan pick up a liability as a wife or handicaps as in-laws. Even with a 7 figure income, hbp go still finish you. My small advice for you

You just admitted the fallacy in your statement.
You can date anyone, just don't MARRY a liability (unless u can financially shoulder the two of you).
Get it now?? Case closed. QED.

FreeIgboho:


So stop making it sound like you need marriage to "reveal your true self".
Bottom line, make sure u r somewhat financially stable b4 getting married

I won't quote again.
For the record, I know at least two close associates, one was a relative that very well got married, the a grand wedding, their wives started isolating them and not up to two years and they crashed financially... These were entrepreneurs o.

How an employee that is doing well then got married, became pressured, queried then sack.

Sadly, be financially ok attract fake girls.

Also, not only marriage. Nigeria Universities also can make you discover your true gifting because the hunger Nigeria university students face is terrible.

It's simply a principle of leaving your
Comfort zone.
The moment you leave your comfort zone and enter a high pressure zone, you would come face to face with yourself and your fears.

Before a man get married, I would advise him not to just chase money, he should chase personal development especially mental growth.

Kazim88:

I won't quote again.
For the record, I know at least two close associates, one was a relative that very well got married, the a grand wedding, their wives started isolating them and not up to two years and they crashed financially... These were entrepreneurs o.

How an employee that is doing well then got married, became pressured, queried then sack.

Sadly, be financially ok attract fake girls.

Also, not only marriage. Nigeria Universities also can make you discover your true gifting because the hunger Nigeria university students face is terrible.

It's simply a principle of leaving your
Comfort zone.
The moment you leave your comfort zone and enter a high pressure zone, you would come face to face with yourself and your fears.

Before a man get married, I would advise him not to just chase money, he should chase personal development especially mental growth.

Life is much sweeter when u can comfortably meet your financial obligations and still have money left over.
It becomes something else when you are always scrambling to pay your bills

movid:
Can we talk on whatsapp?

You are always welcome. Just seeing your mention.

Drop your digits pls, or should I drop mine?

FreeIgboho:


Life is much sweeter when u can comfortably meet your financial obligations and still have money left over.
It becomes something else when you are always scrambling to pay your bills

100% true, 100% true.

FreeIgboho:


You just admitted the fallacy in your statement.
You can date anyone, just don't MARRY a liability (unless u can financially shoulder the two of you).
Get it now?? Case closed. QED.

Na wa o, what is this one even saying sef. So there are no 'non-liabilities' that can be married ??

You are the one admitting flaws now o.

I said if you can date her, you can marry her. Why will anybody be dating a liability or a stupid person ?? So that you can be collecting steady shagging bah ??

Now if you agree that one shouldn't marry a liability like i'v been implying, then what is the base of your argument. Na wa o, this discussion is rather pathetic.

Kazim88:

I won't quote again.
For the record, I know at least two close associates, one was a relative that very well got married, the a grand wedding, their wives started isolating them and not up to two years and they crashed financially... These were entrepreneurs o.

How an employee that is doing well then got married, became pressured, queried then sack.

Sadly, be financially ok attract fake girls.

Also, not only marriage. Nigeria Universities also can make you discover your true gifting because the hunger Nigeria university students face is terrible.

It's simply a principle of leaving your
Comfort zone.
The moment you leave your comfort zone and enter a high pressure zone, you would come face to face with yourself and your fears.

Before a man get married, I would advise him not to just chase money, he should chase personal development especially mental growth.

Chase personal and mental development, not just money, beautiful words.

Let me add, look for a partner that can resonate at same frequency. Money is good o, but things dey wey pass money

rex21:


Na wa o, what is this one even saying sef. So there are no 'non-liabilities' that can be married ??

You are the one admitting flaws now o.

I said if you can date her, you can marry her. Why will anybody be dating a liability or a stupid person ?? So that you can be collecting steady shagging bah ??

Now if you agree that one shouldn't marry a liability like i'v been implying, then what is the base of your argument. Na wa o, this discussion is rather pathetic.

Stop acting dumb. You lost the argument.
U can date a liability (for "steady shagging" or for whatever reason), just don't MARRY her. So your "if I can date her, you can marry her" is nonsense. You can date a barren woman, for example, even if you want children. Just don't carry it to marriage.
Now stop arguing nonsense.

rex21:


Chase personal and mental development, not just money, beautiful words. Kazim88

Let me add, look for a partner that can resonate at same frequency. Money is good o, but things dey wey pass money

This thread is about money, financial stability. There are threads for those other stuff

FreeIgboho:


This thread is about money, financial stability. There are threads for those other stuff

The message was obviously not for you bro.

FreeIgboho:


Stop acting dumb. You lost the argument.
U can date a liability (for "steady shagging" or for whatever reason), just don't MARRY her. So your "if I can date her, you can marry her" is nonsense. You can date a barren woman, for example, even if you want children. Just don't carry it to marriage.
Now stop arguing nonsense.

What then is the essence of dating, what do you stand to gain

I'm ashamed of myself to have engaged you.
Seems you are more interested in winning the discussion hence the flagrant disdain to common sense you just put up. To cover, appear convincing then finally win the discussion. I wonder what loosing or wining is looking for in all this. Na secondary school debate ??

I shame for myself big time. Do savour the words i could spare you bro, this will most certainly end this whole lugubrious charade of a discuss.
Do have a nice day.

FreeIgboho:


Stop acting dumb. You lost the argument.
U can date a liability (for "steady shagging" or for whatever reason), just don't MARRY her. So your "if I can date her, you can marry her" is nonsense. You can date a barren woman, for example, even if you want children. Just don't carry it to marriage.
Now stop arguing nonsense.

Can a mature guy of say 30yrs date a girl of say 28 with out financial obligations to her ??

Your answer if in line with your assertions will tell if the joke is on you or me
.