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18 Months Or Probably Less ... - Family - Nairaland

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18 Months Or Probably Less ... by musings: 3:07pm On Aug 25
Life is such a gift, but it sometimes comes with pain...

You hope, beg, pray, cry, ask for and pursue something for years and just when it seems it was all over you miraculously get your hand on it.
And then you realise that while pursuing the "utopian dream" you had ignored some important things.
But it isn't your fault, life as a Nigerian, regardless of which social strata you belong is torture. The fear of the future, fear of the unknown, terrible parental bias and guidance all contribute to make growth a painful process for those who manage to grow in the real sense.
Who do we blame for all these mess?

What exactly is it with the African race ? Even the black communities in developed countries remain the least developing and the media misrepresentation hiding these realities hasnt helped either.
Why is it that majority of Nigerians do not understand the idea that the essence of life is to protect the vulnerable, why does every Nigerian want to exert power, and dominate the less priviledged in every space if they manage to hold some form of power or authority ?

Is it wise to marry a lady who is 2 years or more older than you as a man ?
A man(an African man in Africa) in his 30s has lots of options cos at that age , older women who are afraid age is running out and no longer see the age difference as a big deal, younger ladies who are looking forward to settle down to avoid late marriage.
Especially if the man is doing well or has a stable income, the choices are unlimited.
It becomes a problem to decide, a lot of men see this as an opportunity to take advantage of vulnerable women, a few sincere men like me understand that actions have consequences and strive to thread softly, you see a lot of pretenders everyday and at some point you become paralysed with your fear of making a mistake or indecision.

It is called Choice Paralysis .

18 months or probably less...
Re: 18 Months Or Probably Less ... by musings: 11:14pm On Aug 28
My life right now is in a precarious state.
But I am not afraid, I am very bothered about the life of the women that surrounds me 4 of the 5 ladies I have dated/ am dating in the last 3 years have been older than me.
And it hurts having to watch the pain they go through, pushing to get things to work with me and me cleverly slipping away and avoiding a lasting commitment...
Some are good women, and they deserve to be happy and be with their own man, thats my prayer for them but my heart does not accept that a man should be with a woman older than him.
Thats not how nature made us....

I have thought deeply and realised that the west has pushed the notion that a man can marry a woman older than him, but even in the west and every where in the world regardless of culture and religion, every society have more men marry women who are younger than those that marry women who are the same age or older than them.
Even in the west, many men that marry up will still go ahead and commit adultery with younger ladies or the marriage doesnt usually last .

Infact, in every society on this earth, regardless of race, culture or religion, more Men marry down and more women marry up (age, social status etc) than men marrying up and women marrying down.

Adam was older, and he was also richer than Eve. The bible says the man is the head of the home, how can a man who is marrying up truly be the head ?

Re: 18 Months Or Probably Less ... by LilMissFavvy(f): 1:50am On Aug 29
If you do not wish to marry an older lady, then why do you welcome them into your life in the first place? Do you not discuss and get to know each other better on the first few weeks of the relationship, and find out her age? There is nothing like women being all over you, if they are all over you it means you are the one giving the green light, because majority of ladies do not toast men, they wait for men to ask them out. Stop playing with the emotions of women, stop giving false, and stop the greenlight. There are men who are okay dating upwards, go for what you want.

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