Gobdddd:

Brother, I swore never to have any sexual relationship with anyone till the day am married.
And am not regretting I did that. Despite all the temptations in school and as a single guy working in a bank.

So, it's not about trying to please someone. It was about doing the right thing. Pleasing God.
Premarital sex is a six. Full stop

My brother I wasn't referring to the sex part, I was only referring to the part where you said they would find out if you had sex. Now that you have clarified that's ok bro.

Hmmmmm....again someone had married the way the church prescribed and here he is complaining while another member if the church is busy admonishing him that sexx souldnt even be considered important sef .


Sexxx is important peeps....very important. Biko report her to the mommy GO in the church to see where that takes you. If your madam is one of the women described by the poster above me, she should at least pretend to be interested by forging enthusiasm biko. Also, have you tried giving her head and teasing her nippl.es? Those two usually breeds screamer. Good luck.

Kobojunkiee:
1. What exactly are you confused about ? What is it that you really expect your wife to do in this case?

2. You claim the marriage is dwindling but from your explanation, the problem is not the marriage but your sudden expectations that is the issue...

3. You claim you are a pastor but it seems you are suddenly letting your body pull the strings as far as your decision making. You married a virgin and it turns out she is not as enthused about sex as you are, what do you want? For her to turn into a porn star in bed after 9 years and 4 kids?

So being a good woman isn't enough anymore. You have to be a dog to keep your home. Even a pastor is not an exception.

Most of the comments here shows that they are either not real, not enjoying sex, don't know the way out or do not understand partnership means.
My guy let me shock you, the answer to your problem is not farfetched, love is give me i give you, now if it comes to be that you alone labouring on the bed, very soon you are going to get tired and wouldn't like it and that is likely going to affect the mind
The what you can do is just some simple Technic, and she will come out of her closet you will be surprised.
I am not taking about teaching or training or leading her to watch a movie but, you need to touch some where in her body.. discover it.or you want me to tell you??
Many people are suffering in silence beause they think that the sex therapist have answers for them . but some do while others may not.

Acidosis:
Take time to understand your woman's body. Every woman has that "breaking point". Even if her body is made with 90% wood, that 10% with life should be decoded.

And btw, stop asking her questions about what she wants in bed if that hasn't been working. She clearly doesn't know! It's all in your hands to explore and discover.

Don't allow her to through life without a fulfilled sexual experience.

Hahahahahaha

@bold: Wahala dey!

ahnie:

He has bn watch porn lately,the wife even tried seff...me my libido yaff died 13yrs ago.and ayam not ready to resuscitate it.

Why na?

Papa Zino nko?

dahmie2013:
So being a good woman isn't enough anymore. You have to be a dog to keep your home. Even a pastor is not an exception.

When a topic is above your comprehension, jump and pass.

There are two things I could think of... 1) she was sexually abused while younger: and/or
2) female sexual mutilation was done on her


Deep seated hurt could make her see sex as nothing, did you try to know about her past life? I can bet it she has not totally open up to you about her past

sisisioge:
Hmmmmm....again someone had married the way the church prescribed and here he is complaining while another member if the church is busy admonishing him that sexx souldnt even be considered important sef .


Sexxx is important peeps....very important. Biko report her to the mommy GO in the church to see where that takes you. If your madam is one of the women described by the poster above me, she should at least pretend to be interested by forging enthusiasm biko. Also, have you tried giving her head and teasing her nippl.es? Those two usually breeds screamer. Good luck.

Sisi mind if I come take lessons on teasers and screamers from you?
Nne idi kwa good on okwu di'na nwuye.

bukatyne:


Why na?

Papa Zino nko?

He's doing well.... we're deading the libidos laidat.

ahnie:

He has bn watch porn lately,the wife even tried seff...me my libido yaff died 13yrs ago.and ayam not ready to resuscitate it.

Damnnnnnnn Ahnie! 13yrs .

folake4u:


Damnnnnnnn Ahnie! 13yrs .

Baby mi..ayam just being sacastic

The responses on this thread is what happens when you make men of God into gods of men.

A Bible that intentionally put Songs of Solomon into it tells you of a God that created sex in marriage for enjoyment. Songs of Solomon has one of the most poetic description of a woman's body I have come across.

And a man who can describe a woman's body that way sure knows what he is doing in the bedroom (hopefully ).

@Gobdddd:

A partner not bringing passion and enthusiasm into the bedroom for nine years can be very frustrating. And now that you are done with kids, it is natural to want to sit back and enjoy your wife although doing kids and enjoyment are not mutually exclusive.

There is nothing ungodly about wanting to enjoy your wife or thinking about how to improve your sex life. The Bible from the Old Testament to the New has always highlighted the importance of sex (great sex) in marriage. In Deuteronomy, a newly married man is to spend a year at home with his wife (to bring happiness); you can only imagine what the happiness is about

@Wife: since you have discussed with her and she is not yielding, do a serious Bible study on sex and its importance in marriage. Not just duty sex (take, let me rest) but sex that she responds with passion and enthusiasm. Teach her as you would teach your congregation: with love and patience. There are also some Christian books on sex in marriage such as 'the act of marriage'. I also know that RCCG's marriage counseling book has a chapter dedicated on the act and art of sex in marriage.

You would also need to be patient and compromise. For instance, if you get her to be more passionate, it is a good one. You can shelf expecting her to initiate as a pipe dream on earth

When you get her to open up, also be open minded. Not that she will tell you 'I like MouthAction' and you shout 'Blood of Jesus'.

You also need to research how to be a better lover; the books I mentioned would help and there are also materials online you can read since she is not expressive yet to tell you what she likes.

Then know her likes; what she does for fun (if any). When people are having fun, they are more 'freer/open/receptive' to discuss issues.

I also like the part you said you don't regret waiting till you are married. There is a tendency for people to rubbish that decision in a case like this. Like a poster clearly mentioned, having sex before marriage doesn't always present the true picture. Sleeping with someone once a month or once a quarter tells you nothing about their sex drive or likes.

Goodluck.

ahnie:

Baby mi..ayam just being sacastic

Oh okay.
I fear oh.

Good morning Mama .

ahnie:

He's doing well.... we're deading the libidos laidat.

Issorait.

I need to fight for my uncle

bukatyne:


Hahahahahaha

@bold: Wahala dey!

everyone deserves happiness my sister

ahnie:

Sisi mind if I come take lessons on teasers and screamers from you?
Nne idi kwa good on okwu di'na nwuye.

Na wa for you o....biko no ruin my religious career .

Make we dey try give practical advice sha. Which one be sex therapist again??

How many of you have seen or met one sex therapist in real life in Nigeria? Where are they located? Please don't tell me they are on Twitter or IG (Dem Jaruma and co?)

bukatyne:


When you get her to open up, also be open minded. Not that she will tell you 'I like MouthAction' and you shout 'Blood of Jesus'.

or blood of Zechariah

I also like the part you said you don't regret waiting till you are married. There is a tendency for people to rubbish that decision in a case like this. Like a poster clearly mentioned, having sex before marriage doesn't always present the true picture. Sleeping with someone once a month or once a quarter tells you nothing about their sex drive or likes.
Goodluck.

This! Everybody na machine until marriage happens

That's why cheating in marriage is like an escape from the reality of maintaining a healthy and exciting sex life with one person. Premarital sex tells absolutely nothing about one's future sex life in marriage. Absolutely nothing.

You wife's reaction to sex has to be due to her conditioning.... albeit religious conditioning. She has to be re-conditioned. She has to understand that seeking sexual pleasure in marriage is okay and not a sin. Sex in marriage is not just for procreation or a wifely duty.

You married her as a virgin which obviously had to do with religious discipline. That in itself is not bad but she has freedom now and should shake off shackles.

You can get her to go through sexual therapy sessions. Seek for one and also get her books on sex in marriage.

I think that you should see a doctor about this matter bro. There are several treatments that can be recommended to improve her sexual libido. Peace ✌️

Acidosis:
Make we dey try give practical advice sha. Which one be sex therapist again??

How many of you have seen or met one sex therapist in real life in Nigeria? Where are they located? Please don't tell me they are on Twitter or IG (Dem Jaruma and co?)

Jaruma and co.

Some Nigerians have battered the meaning of sex therapist, someone who sells products/ charms to sexually hook a partner is called a sex therapist!

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

Get a beautiful house maid only seeing her she go code

U have four kids.....So wat do u need sex for again.....U better respect urself

Most Nigerian men don’t know how to make love. The day I was kissed by a French man, I saw stars.

Young girls full outside wey go blow your brain out. No dey disturb us this Friday abeg. We still dey reason Buhari matter yu dey carry kpekus matter put on top.

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

Oga go buy SPANNISH FLY and thank me later...spike her drink one time before sex....she go Hot paa and you will testify to God's goodness

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

.so u angry coz u dint yansh yor wife for 19years & u want us to help u talk to am....correct?..

Davash222:
A married pastor with 4 kids and you're still bothered about sex

With this Buhari economy, you still thinking about the quality of sex from your wife after 4 kids?

Your main concern shouldn't be about the quality of sex as a man of God. You have 4 kids, concentrate more on them and how to convert many souls to Christ. Leave quality sex for worldly people, Sir.

This is a wicked advise