This op is not trusted abeg

Go and settle your self with your husband

Just say you want go bang your ex and stop lieing

berrystunn:

Continue till the devil takes you out of your marriage.

Your ex will use you and drop you...
Note that your body is not as he it's before...

Go and fix your home just because of your kids... Hide your selfish interest somewhere.

How do you conclude that it is the devil that will take her out of the marriage?

I can see the case of from frying pan to fire here. You're going back to your Ex? If i may ask what did he do before he became ex?
your tit-for-tat will surely land you in fire from frying pan if care is not taken.
my advice: 1. forget your ex, he's not the best person to return to in this situation.
2. Control your emotion, try to figure out the root(s) of the problem between you and your real husband not ex ooo. Pls dig deeper here,don't look at the surface. You may be the problem yourself.
3, sit your husband down, beg him even if he's at fault.
4 try to love what you husband love( may be s*x, submission or affection for parent, etc). Try to see the world through your husband eyes but act with you brain not emotion. A lot to say but i think these will help.

Simran94:
Women have really suffered and will continue to suffer in the hands of African communities.

A man cheats on his wife but doesn't feel any remorse about it by confessing to his wife, yet people are blaming her for her husband's wrong-doing. How can anyone say she should ask her husband why he cheated on her? Really? Will this same energy be given to a woman if she cheats on her husband?

I just wish Prenuptial agreements will be signed into law in Africa, this is the major thing that will reduce the rate of cheating. At least, if you don't want to loose your money to your wife, you would learn to keep IT between your legs!!!!

One reason why I always says Ladies should be financially dependent before going into marriage!!!

Does it need to first be signed into law for such an agreement to hold in marriage even today? I think people simply need to be made aware that it is an option already available to them.

Babastrong:
I can see the case of from frying pan to fire here. You're going back to your Ex? If i may ask what did he do before he became ex?
your tit-for-tat will surely land you in fire from frying pan if care is not taken.
my advice: 1. forget your ex, he's not the best person to return to in this situation.
2. Control your emotion, try to figure out the root(s) of the problem between you and your real husband not ex ooo. Pls dig deeper here,don't look at the surface. You may be the problem yourself.
3, sit your husband down, beg him even if he's at fault.
4 try to love what you husband love( may be s*x, submission or affection for parent, etc). Try to see the world through your husband eyes but act with you brain not emotion. A lot to say but i think these will help.

3. Why does she need to beg him?

4. Why does she need to submit to what what does not agree with?

NaijaHelper1:

What an insightful woman!
Your type ought to be protected at all costs.
Too much sense.

Thank you

[quote author=Kobojunkiee post=105690522] 3. Why does she need to beg him?

4. Why does she need to submit to what what does not agree with? [then if she can't beg and submit to her husband, tell her pack out. Omode nse.]

You asked so here it goes.
Every marriage hits a rock spot. When the " honey " dries up and the sun goes now.
It is when reality meets faith who wins.
Constant quarreling tells me that you guys are not speaking the same language in love.
If you want your marriage to flourish then take my advice.
1. You need to work on your communication. You are speaking English and he French. Due some words borrowed from each tongue you get along but you are walking on eggshells till the next quarrel or argument.
2. You need a mediator -Not a Pastor but someone who is qualified to help work this out ( So you need to invest in the marriage as it will not be free but paid )
3. You both need to be invested -You both need to try and make it work - Meaning he might be perfectly okay with how things are and you are not - So ask him .. honey or dear are you happy with our marriage ? If he says Yes, you can reply I want it to work better and last and if he says no, then what can we do about it.
If he says nothing - make some suggestions - ( What are the quarrels about ? Finances , attention , house chores , attitude etc )
The First steps would be to itemize the things on a piece of paper that make you mad ( 5 things) and like wise him and you try and work out a compromise on issues.

I will give an example - We have been married for over 10 years . My wife doesn't love to cook , she doesnt love sex like I do, we are from different backgrounds . I am from West and she East. But struggles to do a lot of things that i ascribe ladies would do however she makes more money than I do , is also great a work. But not very homely , she can also sing . She can act and flash a smile but she wasnt like my ex's . During the 7 year itch it got to a boiling point where I wanted out. But the saving grace for me was that I didn't know anybody personally who had divorced. My parents where intact, my uncles had 2 wives but never divorced - So they had one wife at home and another outside . I wasn't prepared to call someone whom I didnt know about the 1-2-3 steps on divorce and when I sat down to reason properly . I said, she hadn't cheated, wasn't lazy, is a Christian so why would I throw all that away because I was not happy about the other stuff. I deserve to be happy so I started to read about relationships and then I set a time and date and informed her that we have to talk about the marriage. I wrote down all the things I didnt like about the relationship about her but they were points.
1. Sex ( I do not find you sexually active, I have to beg for sex and cajole - I'll buy you loungerie and tech you how to love me and i to you)
2. Communication - Do not ask me to do something when I am watching soccer or in the bathroom, if you need my attention call me and look at my face.
3. Cooking - Lets get someone to cook meals - Pay the person, you finish the cooking and serve, I do dishes .
4. Clean - You handle upstairs and I handle downstairs. and once a month pay someone to do a deep cleaning.
5. Finances - You pay rent, insurance and feeding. Ill handle car payments, clothing etc.
6. etc.
It took a weekend but the key was that we both wanted it to work !

I would love to send you a free DVD - Titled Marriage that Flourishes and see if you can apply the steps to your situation.

Learn to look before you leap!

Most young women think with their kitty when it comes to choosing a life partner.

Get your FREE LOVE COIN TOKEN via my signature below.

Zuchey91:


3 years plus.

The first 5 years of most marriages are usually the most challenging. After that it often only gets better as you would have come to better understand one another. The truth is that you are also already cheating on your husband as it stands, even though you have not yet met your ex or gotten physical with him, emotionally you are already cheating on your husband as well.

There's no telling how your current affair with your ex would end but it would most likely end in tears, for you especially. Primarily because he is knowingly crossing a line that he knows quite well that he ought not to - - getting this close to a married woman. That, to me, demonstrates that he lacks character and discipline as an individual.

Though I understand that right now your heart finds it convenient to indulge and bask in the distraction that he is currently offering.

My candid advice to you is to do some serious soul searching. And please, don't lie to yourself. If you feel the marriage is done, initiate a divorce so you can begin the process of moving on. Otherwise, this affair with your ex while married won't augur well.

My two cents.

You’re looking for justification to cheat. Just do what you plan to do. No dey disguise. You have taken the first steps already.

My advice is don't be stupid at all.... Two wrongs can not be right.

Your Ex will cheat you and you will still leave him for your Ex until you will become Apere Ajase, shot words, you better stick to this one and not your ex cos he knew why you’re coming back.

Babastrong:

then if she can't beg and submit to her husband, tell her pack out. Omode nse.

Why is that the only alternative that you see?

You are not a good women to have thought of reconnecting with your ex all cos your husband cheated. Just know within that "you are not fit for a wife" period.

usagee36:
You are very stupid. Did you get to go to school and pass? Read the article you dumb fvck. Look at this bloody Nigerian. � author=Strongbest post=105686345]

Shame on you. Unfortunately, our generation is filled with your type. No moral standard at all.

First of all, you are too low and dirty to drag issues with. With this level of your reasoning, I am obviously not in your league.

My problem with a dirty pig like you is that, you will always think you are wise by calling others dumb but even a f00l will be amazed at the level of your fo0lishness.

Just get lost already and cover your face in shame.

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

You have to be confused because you don't know what the outcome with your ex will be

The issue is that you don't have feelings for your husband and you guys have so many unresolved issues, which triggers the other

It's time you let him know that you are aware that he cheated on you and it's killing you emotionally

Now that you are about to reconnect with your ex, don't be too sure if your ex is coming back to you

Just follow your heart because you are the person that knows exactly what you want

Simple marriage is about 2 people from different backgrounds so all men have ego as the head of the family since u understand his problem was bcus of his background why not find a way to work out things and make ur marriage work. My sister out of 100% men out the only 10% are ready to settle down. Pls save ur marriage and ignore that ur X

Kobojunkiee:
Why?

Naso tega and Boma take start

[quote author=Kobojunkiee post=105691089] Why is that the only alternative that you see? [anyway, as an happily married man with kids, this is what i think as solution. If you have better solutions, feel free to suggest them. End of discussion.]

See as she used 'Cheated' for her husband, and used 'reconnected' for herself.

Tushmanny123:
You are not a good women to have thought of reconnecting with your ex all cos your husband cheated. Just know within that "you are not fit for a wife" period.

So she is not fit for a wife because she should have endured the trauma of knowing that her husband cheated

The husband that cheat, got licensed to cheat, abi ?

Let her cheat, if that is what she wants

You and I can't determine for her

So you are cheating because your husband supposedly cheated? Does it make sense to you? U can't leave because you enjoy his money, FACT! If them born u well, leave tomorrow and go meet your poor and jobless ex who has enough time for you.

All I see is a 21st century woman who is looking for excuses to validate her immorality.

U shud remember u re the woman here and it ur job to keep the home going.why not seat with ur husband and have a heart to heart talk ..before deciding on wat to do…

Scopgel1:
Simple marriage is about 2 people from different backgrounds so all men have ego as the head of the family since u understand his problem was bcus of his background why not find a way to work out things and make ur marriage work. My sister out of 100% men out the only 10% are ready to settle down. Pls save ur marriage and ignore that ur X

All men have ego as the head of the family?
Women have egos too... so why does her ego not get accounted for in this?

Save a marriage that is run by an ego? Why? Aren't you pretty much assuming every marriage out there is defined in the same exact way as you define yours?

I have something to tell you, but do you live together with your husband? For how long are you separated, if that is the case?

Babastrong:

anyway, as an happily married man with kids, this is what i think as solution. If you have better solutions, feel free to suggest them. End of discussion

Seems the Op expected to be considered an equal partner in her relationship, or at least to have a say, but is currently being denied that which she wanted. Your suggestion is that she deny herself even more in order to please the man's ego. Is that really what you consider advice?

If this was a daughter of yours, would you advice her to submit to a man who considers her say worthless in marriage?

Simran94:


Do men need a reason to cheat? Her husband cheated on her and you are telling her to find out the reason from him?

YES stop defending lies! Some married women are the reasons why their women cheat! If she went wrong first, will she come and boldly say the truth here? Look at some married women that are bastards giving their husbands bastards The man pretended as if he didn't know, he started cheating because the truth in that home is destroyed. Men are not fools!!!!!! That is why it's good for mothers to train their daughters in the way of God, some female conscience is just faulty. Think twice

Lets say me and u we viewingthingsfrom different angle. Am putting her on a saver side to save her marriage bcus she already knows what the problem is so why the road that leads to a broken home. A question is Is divorce the answer ? Many people here are facing worst issues in there marriage but keeping the marriage gives them reward later " as far as violence is not involved though "

Kobojunkiee:
All men have ego as the head of the family?
Women have egos too... so why does her ego not get accounted for in this?

Save a marriage that is run by an ego? Why? Aren't you pretty much assuming every marriage out there is defined in the same exact way as you define yours?

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

You are being trailed by the spirit of error. You jumped into a marriage with a man you wanted to divorce a few weeks after the wedding. Now you are jumping into the arms of an ex that is also a divorcee. What next are you going to jump into? At this rate you will be jumping into depression real soon. There are three questions you need to ask yourself before jumping from frying pan to fire. First, what do you want in a man? If it is money, good looks, and other mundane features then you will likely be jumping into fire next because this ex you are about reconnect with could connect you to the depression that could finally kill you. Second, what do you have to offer? If all you have to offer a man is your boobs, round ass and well lubed hole then be prepared for more marital issues because there are hundreds of thousands of competitors out there. Finally, what is your purpose in life? If you are directionless you always be lost in the storms of life...stop seeing that your so called ex, he will bring you sorrow. If your husband is not forthcoming garner income and leave. Spend sometime reflecting on your life decisions, correct yourself, reprimand yourself and chart a new course for your life. Find a man that aligns with your purpose and that understands the meaning of love and be prepared to submit to him. That's my 2 cents!

a relationship/marriage that doesn't include flow of ceaselessly communication will surely face similar things.



I swear to God if I don't have conscience I could have fúck the hell out of a lady friend whose husband has not even talk to since Feb despite living under the same roof. some men dey behave like sissy lately, how can him don't read your change of characters because I know you lady can't hide emotional trauma for long



now your divorcee ex want to taste the Pussy he had been testing for long, na so you useless reach? if you're finding him uninterested why not tell him straight. if you don't handle this your evil emotional trauma you could end up being the victim here

Look for wayout to resolve differences, every marriage have their problems. Having feeling for your ex is not the solution rather regret is await you.