DontBullshitMe:

Sorry to type this. But your friend is not a very bright person and I will assume you belong to that categorization for following that stupid advice.

Once again. Sorry to type.

Do you know the implication of what you highlighted? Most women do not know how to manage money. From what the op said, it simply meant that his wife
1. Is not the giving type.
2. Does not know how to manage money.
3. Does not appreciate a man's effort.
I wouldn't take offense on what you typed because you're beneath me interlectually and maritally.

JovialJune:



You see, this is how a balanced healthy family life should be, where both couples join heads to make it work no matter the setback any is facing at a period of time, I tell people that the marriage problem and high rate of divorce we see today is cos one is lording himself/herself over the other, when couples see each other as equal partners, everything will fall in place, even the bible says "two become one" as in same in body and everything.

THE MAN IS THE HEAD OF THE HOME SO THE BIBLE SAYS
THERE IS NO EQUALITY IN MAN AND WOMAN IN MARRIAGE; THE MAN IS THE HEAD PERIOD. JUST LIKE CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH

capnies:


THE MAN IS THE HEAD OF THE HOME SO THE BIBLE SAYS
THERE IS NO EQUALITY IN MAN AND WOMAN IN MARRIAGE; THE MAN IS THE HEAD PERIOD. JUST LIKE CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH

Does this kind of balance take away the fact that the man is the head of the home?

Or are you saying the man can't be the head of the home if he's not the one making the money?

Cause the family I cited in page one, the man is very much the head of the home, just that he has more wisdom than most men.

capnies:


THE MAN IS THE HEAD OF THE HOME SO THE BIBLE SAYS
THERE IS NO EQUALITY IN MAN AND WOMAN IN MARRIAGE; THE MAN IS THE HEAD PERIOD. JUST LIKE CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH

This doesn't translate to current realities,be jobless and carry headship for head.

Some of you men see marriage as a power tussle the lady rightly laid out a marriage plan that happens in today's world but you want to tell us what we already know,every marriage is different for some marriages that are not Christian based the husband and wife work as a team and there is equality in such marriage just because you are not familiar with that reality doesn't mean it doesn't work for others and happens in such marriages.

Christ being the head of the church loved the church and died for it how many men of today can do that,Christ also washed the feet of his disciples I can liken this to husbands doing chores in the homes and treating their wives as the queens that they are,you are so quick to remember headship but slow to remember the responsibilities it carries.

DontBullshitMe:

Sorry to type this. But your friend is not a very bright person and I will assume you belong to that categorization for following that stupid advice.

Once again. Sorry to type.

So never mind the man himself telling you that the plan worked for his marriage, you just must put it down as stupid advice, is that it?

capnies:

THE MAN IS THE HEAD OF THE HOME SO THE BIBLE SAYS
THERE IS NO EQUALITY IN MAN AND WOMAN IN MARRIAGE; THE MAN IS THE HEAD PERIOD. JUST LIKE CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH

Bible doesn't say that. Instead God cursed the man and woman in marriage with that - Genesis 3 vs 16

And Jesus Christ said He alone is Head over all those, man and woman, to Him - Matthew 23 vs 8 - 10

spice123:

Do you know the implication of what you highlighted? Most women do not know how to manage money. From what the op said, it simply meant that his wife
1. Is not the giving type.
2. Does not know how to manage money.
3. Does not appreciate a man's effort.
I wouldn't take offense on what you typed because you're beneath me interlectually and maritally.

I see I am beneath you INTERLECTUALLY.

Romanoff:


Does this kind of balance take away the fact that the man is the head of the home?

Or are you saying the man can't be the head of the home if he's not the one making the money?

Cause the family I cited in page one, the man is very much the head of the home, just that he has more wisdom than most men.

The headship is even for a Christian marriage take for instance it isn't one can he impose his beliefs on those practicing the equality he seems to despise and it may be working well for the couple.
I think he should answer these questions you asked, a lot of men interpret headship to mean being power drunk to them being the head means the man is the lord and master while the wife is the slave so the wife cannot do the same thing they do these kind of people marriage isn't a team effort or a partnership.

Kobojunkie:
So never mind the man himself telling you that the plan worked for his marriage, you just must put it down as stupid advice, is that it?

Just leave them.

I've heard many men tell me this their model and it works for them.

They will just talk down on ideas they believe is stupid even though it works for some people.

My husband suggested it to me one time sef, na me no gree, cause his mind will still be policing the money so make everybody hold him money o.

spice123:

Do you know the implication of what you highlighted? [b]Most women do not know how to manage money. [/b]From what the op said, it simply meant that his wife
1. Is not the giving type.
2. Does not know how to manage money.
3. Does not appreciate a man's effort.
I wouldn't take offense on what you typed because you're beneath me interlectually and maritally.

Are you serious with the statement in bold?
Financial management skills now tied to gender?

Romanoff:
Me I don't see any problem in this o.

Na only one bill she dey pay, yet she wan turn terrorists for your head. You sef, always remind her how expensive DSTV and foodstuff costs as often as you can.

You can add the rising cost of rent too.

Treat people how they treat you and watch them adjust.

Just cause your own wife is like that doesn't mean all women are that way.

I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.

99% of women are like that

AmazonTopaz:


The headship is even for a Christian marriage take for instance it isn't one can he impose his beliefs on those practicing the equality he seems to despise and it may be working well for the couple.
I think he should answer these questions,a lot of men interpret headship to mean power drunk to them being the head means the man is the lord and master while the wife is the slave

That's why a lot have their manhood tied to their pockets. The moment they don't have money, small talk wey their wife go talk, they will conclude it's because they are broke.

If your wife only submits to you cause you're older than her or cause you're the bread winner, that is not a marriage but a master and slave relationship.

When the tide turns, that woman will treat you the exact way you treated her.

brownemmanuel43:

99% of women are like that

How did you arrive at your stats?

Davash222:

May God have mercy on His people.

E no go better for poverty!

My brother, men dey suffer,. See how she is louding it as if is a thing a of joy for the guy man.

brownemmanuel43:

My brother, men dey suffer,. See how she is louding it as if is a thing a of joy for the guy man.

The wife for resign abi?

Or make she share herself into two.

NwaAmaikpe:




I may be wrong but I personally believe that the easiest and most therapeutic way to cope as a man if your wife is the breadwinner of the home is by making "Cuckold" your favourite porn genre.

You'd then realize that so many men go through worse and they've channeled the negativity to a great source of personal pleasure.

If you can't stand it, become better.
Except you are terminally ill or medically incapacitated, allowing you wife become breadwinner is worse than Esau gifting his birthright to Jacob.

You'd lose all your dominance, influence, and respect and ball. It won't be long before she starts sending you on errands to buy condoms for her to take to work.

Over to Lalasticlala and the other elders.

Honestly, I couldn't understand anything here.
All the same, thanks

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I.made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride
I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.
My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come will every meal?
How do unemployed/ underemployed men cope?
What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

Lol, it's good she is doing even that. Give her more responsibilitie to take care of and you will see her biting U on every issue. Then U remind her that you have been doing it before now without complaints

Romanoff:


That's why a lot have their manhood tied to their pockets. The moment they don't have money, small talk wey their wife go talk, they will conclude it's because they are broke.

If your wife only submits to you cause you're older than her or cause you're the bread winner, that is not a marriage but a master and slave relationship.

When the tide turns, that woman will treat you the exact way you treated her.

That is why they feel empty when they are broke.Many of them lack basic human skills, attitudes and virtues on how to keep a relationship or marriage to them it is just money other men who know better and whose worth ain't tied to money alone tend to do better and are treated better when they are down because of the way they chose to relate with their wives.

Imagine one just telling us the man is the head of the home so what does it mean he should misbehave and not respect or treat his partner right.These men sometimes have a warped mindset on a lot of issues Nigerian women have tried oo

AmazonTopaz:


That is why they feel empty when they are broke.Many of them lack basic human skills, attitudes and virtues on how to keep a relationship or marriage to them it is just money other men who know better and whose worth ain't tied to money alone tend to do better and are treated better when they are down because of the way they chose to relate with their wives.

Imagine one just telling us the man is the head of the home so what does it mean he should misbehave and not respect or treat his partner right.These men sometimes have a warped mindset on a lot of issues Nigerian women have tried oo

The moment I realized that many of them have their manhood tied to their pockets, it made me see the need to hustle very well.

Na money some dey take buy submission. Without it, they don't think a woman can submit to them.

Really sad.

Op that's how the behave back then my mom so insult me that I don't buy anything in the house remember then I was still schooling

mariahAngel:


Communication is not and should not have to be this complicated.
Na simple communication, no be further maths.

In communication there is a sender of information
There is a receiver of information
And the content of information
There is channel of information

There is also time information delivery here is also feedback



Communication his not simple.it is an art and an act

Romanoff:


How did you arrive at your stats?

Having worked in different areas mostly with an NGO that is into human rights, child abuse and DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, I can confidently tell u that my figure is accurate and nothing else.
I have come to realise that sometimes what women displays as domestic violence is not in actual sense. We have handled cases in which the man lost his job or business the next thing the wife would start nagging and the rest.
My dear let's forget matter bcs story plenty for my head about women and their wahala.

brownemmanuel43:

Having worked in different areas mostly with an NGO that is into human rights, child abuse and DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, I can confidently tell that my figure is accurate and nothing else.
I have come to realise that sometimes what women displays as domestic violence is not in actual sense.
We have handled cases of such

Your stats are very inaccurate and working with an NGO doesn't make it credible.

I know many people whose mum were the bread winners, either due to a deadbeat dad or dad not having as much as mum.

And I still see it everyday.

Where there's a problem is when you want the woman who is the bread winner to come back home and do chores while you lounge in the house and be the "man" of the house.

chatinent:


This scenario reminds me of Jude and Eniola Badmus that was always cartoonized on The Sun Newspaper.

That means if she were the one providing the meals, ọ ga -esiri gị ike ga ahu banana nke a rapuru fo.

Mehn..

Nothing dey vex me pass references to every little efforts you make forgetting my daily stabs to make you happy.

Most women cannot be men even for a day.

Only one evening my cousin sister took me out, I never even remove my shoe naim I read her status: “I like the woman I am becoming. Always learn to man your womanhood.”

The only thing most women tend to appreciate is credit alerts..or send your account number. They will become so emotional..they can even cry.

Let the case be the reverse.

Make she just take care of you for two days.

You go hear weeen. She go even remind you how she carry you for stomach for nine months.

“Richie, what is this na, can't I have peace after coming back from work again? How can you eat and cannot wash your plates again! What's this na!”

“Baby, why are you shouting? The neighbours are at...”

“Don't baby me. What have I not done to make you happy? Will I kill myself? Am I the only married woman in the world..what is this na.”

(You try to hold her hands to calm her down...she slaps you damn hard).

“(She is crying now..tears flowly freely). Just see what you made me do. Just see it. Everything is just wrong with this world.”

You mah wey dem slap go still go meet am for parlour where she dey cry dey pet am (and that if after checking your cheeks if blood dey comot). You go come humbly tell am say no bi you eat, say na the one she eat for morning..but anyways, you forgot to wash it.

Another matter don dey brew.

She will now come to the parlour and sit, ask you for the remote and change the football to Telemundo and mutter these words you'll never hear: “work e won't work, such a failure. It's only remote e can pass.”

You will try to look at her with your side eyes but meet her full eyes staring at you in disgust. Mumu you go come smile enter bedroom.

As you are walking into the bedroom, the volume of the muttering is increasing but it's still inaudible.

In the oza room, just respect yourself. Don't even dare..unless you want the whole world to know how you will be idle and want to kill sb’s daughter after working all day!

“oh, it's your plan, Richie, baa? To kill me so that you can now go and meet Ishilove, baa?”


Only you go dey like Stone Cold Steve Austin sleep.


It will be normal...the “honey, darling etc.” is going to die. You will be called your name...two seconds, she will stop calling your name and just be giving out orders.

Abeg, don't even remind her you are the husband. You will get the insult of your life. She will say “no, say it loud na, let mama Chisom hear you. How many husbands stay at home watching football and their wives are left to do all the work!”


But na you still dey pay rent, buy foodstuff, and children fees.

Baba, kuku collect that responsiblity back. I hate to talk much. No dare shift any of your responsibility to woman...even if she persists to want to help. E kuku better she dey do am willingly than you register her name on it.

Only women, babies, and pets are loved. Men, are respected when they man up. Na the respect we dey translate to love.

Bros, if U are in a toxic relationship walk out

drnoel:


Bros, if U are in a toxic relationship walk out

Thanks for the advice.

Romanoff:


Your stats are very inaccurate and working with an NGO doesn't make it credible.

I know many people whose mum were the bread winners, either due to a deadbeat dad or dad not having as much as mum.

And I still see it everyday.

Where there's a problem is when you want the woman who is the bread winner to come back home and do chores while you lounge in the house and be the "man" of the house.

A wise woman buildeth her house and the foolish woman plucketh it down with her hands in proverbs, the wisdom of God


Majority of failed and bad marriages is as a result of women, thanks to Feminism for exposing these truth to us in mordern time proving God's wisdom

JESHAL:




A wise woman buildeth her house and the foolish woman plucketh it down with her hands in proverbs, the wisdom of God


Majority of failed and bad marriages is as a result of women, thanks to Feminism for exposing these truth to us in mordern time proving God's wisdom

A woman being the bread winner makes her a feminist?

Romanoff:


Your stats are very inaccurate and working with an NGO doesn't make it credible.

I know many people whose mum were the bread winners, either due to a deadbeat dad or dad not having as much as mum.

And I still see it everyday.

Where there's a problem is when you want the woman who is the bread winner to come back home and do chores while you lounge in the house and be the "man" of the house.

What do I even know, arguing with a woman in a case that involve a fellow woman

Romanoff:


A woman being the bread winner makes her a feminist?

Any woman that believes traditional gender roles should be reversed is a feminist, the scriptures are clear about that, a man that can't provide is worse than an infidel, a woman must keep her home, majority of households men are breadwinners globally, even in advanced western Societies, men pay 90% of alimony and child support validating their natural provisioning roles during divorce

I understand your arguments of dead beat fathers or fathers that had misfortune but they are not the norms

brownemmanuel43:

What do I even know, arguing with a woman in a case that involve a fellow woman

I don't argue about things I know little or nothing about.

As much as a lot of women say "men are scum", I've been blessed to be around very good men, as well as bad ones.

So I don't generalize.

baralatie:

Effective communication is dependent on certain important resources one of which is finance!

if you feel disrespected and slighted by the words she says,tell her.a lot of Times,women unknowingly say disrespectful things when they're stressed.she feels how can I be going to work and put up with all sorts to bring money home and then you add to her stress instead of removing from it

Look for a moment she is well rested.maybe like a weekend and talk things through

JESHAL:




Any woman that believes traditional gender roles should be reversed is a feminist, the scriptures are clear about that, a man that can't provide is worse than an infidel, a woman must keep her home, majority of households men are breadwinners globally, even in advanced western Societies, men pay 90% of alimony and child support validating their natural provisioning roles during divorce

I understand your arguments of dead beat fathers or fathers that had misfortune but they are not the norms

So in this our bad economy where many are losing jobs. If your wife earns four times more than you earned while working, and you lose your job, how will you restore balance in your home without killing the woman with stress?

Or how do you restore balance in your home?

Will you sit at home and wait for her to come and cook or will you pawn the child raising responsibilities on someone else.

Or will you pressure her to resign so both of you can be jobless and you can maintain your "manship" on the home?

Please, tell us how you hope to make things work in this situation.