Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage - Family (4)

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Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage - Family (4) - Nairaland

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My Uncle Has Decided To End His Marriage Of 30 Years / Man To End Marriage Of 16 Years With His Wife After Discovering Her Real Age / After 15yrs, I'm Still Haunted, Help!!!! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Joeyfizzo: 3:35pm On Sep 27, 2021

siofra:
Na mumu dey marry.

ur parents na mumu

3 Likes

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by ladychioma: 3:35pm On Sep 27, 2021

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
For the sake of children, don't divorce her. Divorce is not the best option. Call her and discuss the matter with her or better call elders from her side and complain to them. Let them know you are fed up. I wish you luck
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by aparata: 3:35pm On Sep 27, 2021

Try compalin to her church people

quote author=neonly post=106221297]

U won't understand am really hurt and depressed
Dat her own thinking too dat Abi they will settle d matter for us
But for how can we continue like dis mind u age is not on our side
Am always emontioal disturb when we have issues cause me I like us playing together yur family suppose yur confider especially yur wife but if you can get it from her again what d use of staying in d relationship
U sef reason am babes[/quote]

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by pongwa(m): 3:35pm On Sep 27, 2021

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

let it go.....please stop punishing yourself over someone's mistake.....except of course you pulled the first cord. I suggest you call your wife and discuss this with her so from there we will know what to do. Shalom

1 Like

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by jacquincy: 3:36pm On Sep 27, 2021

ahnie:
Forget I love you in marriage.marriage is hard,forget being married to your best friend, marriage is hard!hard!!and hard!!!

I think marriage should be scrapped completely coz it's an unending pit....

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by gayman99: 3:36pm On Sep 27, 2021

There's nothing wrong in doing some house chores like OP mentioned. In fact I enjoy doing it. When I want to wash my kids clothes I carry them along. Give them socks to wash and at the same time bond with them. Like I said there's nothing wrong. Life is too short to worry over unnecessary things. Just enjoy your self unless there is something OP isn't telling us.

2 Likes

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Awesomeking: 3:36pm On Sep 27, 2021

Calm down,how long has this been going on? Try talking to her first before ending a marriage because your wife is focused on getting the bag.. You can talk to her and try to compromise

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by neonly: 3:37pm On Sep 27, 2021

Solatium:

Don't divorce her yet,just look for one side chick to calm your nerves,let her know you are getting attention from another female companion but never reveal her identity,if in 6 months she did not go back to default.

File for divorce

Not abt sex or calming nerves it abt our behavior in front of d kids it very unhealthy

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Nobody: 3:37pm On Sep 27, 2021

Kobojunkie:

So, you want to ruin your 15-year old marriage for the sake of your ego?
■ You go to market
■ Cook
■ clean the house
■ wash the children uniform
....
So you do these things in your own home and you expect what, a medal? The person that used to do them before, I am guessing your wife, she no be human being like you?

So your wife is interested in her career, and you are what? Against your "friend" doing well in her career or what? And let me guess, communication has degraded between you two and probably between your egos are butting heads at this point and rather than working on that, you are instead thinking of ways to end your relationship?

Look, no two marriages are created the same and no two individuals in a marriage are exact copies of themselves. You and your wife are meant to design your own marriage in a way that works for you, not go around comparing yourselves to others out there.
Die to your ego if you must and learn to grow rather than destroy your marriage over petty things such as what you listed here.

YOU ARE LOOSE again!

2 Likes

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Someodds: 3:38pm On Sep 27, 2021

ahnie:
Forget I love you in marriage.marriage is hard,forget being married to your best friend, marriage is hard!hard!!and hard!!!

I think marriage should be scrapped completely coz it's an unending pit....

Sweety, I think you were in mind. That thing de different from 'lets date'

Totally hard... Forget about social media lies.

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by omooba969(m): 3:38pm On Sep 27, 2021

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that..

If your submission is true, then let her know how you feel without creating a tense situation. Our gfs/wives appreciate when we show our feelings or vulnerable side.

She is your girl, have a chat with her.

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by mrksquare: 3:38pm On Sep 27, 2021

Kestolove:
Divorce and marry another, responsible girls full area no husband

And you think is easy to just divorce and remarry thereafter?

You didn't even capture the future of the children post-divorce and the psychological trauma that is likely to rear its head in the absent of their father or mother.

2 Likes

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Kobojunkie: 3:39pm On Sep 27, 2021

gayman99:
There's nothing wrong in doing some house chores like OP mentioned. In fact I enjoy doing it. When I want to wash my kids clothes I carry them along. Give them socks to wash and at the same time bond with them. Like I said there's nothing wrong. Life is too short to worry over unnecessary things. Just enjoy your self unless there is something OP isn't telling us.

Na wetin we dey try tell all these ones wey dey think say marriage means promotion to god-levels.. undecided

2 Likes

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by banom(m): 3:40pm On Sep 27, 2021

@ op, end it. You sef don try

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Tinyemeka(m): 3:40pm On Sep 27, 2021

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Kobojunkie: 3:40pm On Sep 27, 2021

neonly:
Not abt sex or calming nerves it abt our behavior in front of d kids it very unhealthy

Interesting reveal there. undecided

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Somblaq: 3:41pm On Sep 27, 2021

One thing I understand with women is that women are tree, There grow based on how there are nutured.
Some men over pamper women and with that they can do rubbish and you will still beg them at last. Most of all these depends on the hand you gave her during ur early dating and marriage life. She may be doing some little rubbish that instead being bold to say I don't like this u were thinking she will change with time.
Bro just keep praying for her, there's nothing God can not do. I don't support divorce unless on the basis of adultery.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by tempex88(m): 3:41pm On Sep 27, 2021

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

I experienced something similar but didn't get that complex. I came to the conclusion that two can only work together if they agree. Support her on her career dream but let her know that those to things that needs to be done at home, someone has to do them. Na money e go chop. She should pay for cook, pay for nanny and pay for someone to stay with the children. You continue with rent payment, children fees and food allowance. If she wants to do what men does, she has to be ready to shoulder the responsibilities men shoulder....my own madam agreed to it. And we are fine.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Kobojunkie: 3:41pm On Sep 27, 2021

Someodds:
Sweety, I think you were in mind. That thing de different from 'lets date'

Totally hard... Forget about social media lies.

ROFLMAO

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by pappilo(m): 3:42pm On Sep 27, 2021

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Your children will be perfectly fine. I held on too long to something that was finished for the sake of my children but it eventually fell apart at great financial, emotional and liberty cost.

The children now..... Couldnt be happier. No more toxic home and my daughter loves that she can different sets of presents from both parents on special occasions.

Easier said than done though but the sooner you make a move the better it will be for you.

7 Likes

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Nobody: 3:42pm On Sep 27, 2021

neonly:

This is someone dat work and her pay is for her alone honestly I don't even know much she earn as salary
If u are lucky to marry a good person just thank Jehovah
Too much pressure to guild her and let her see reason will be consider sexual violent so am very careful it has easy has u think bro's am just heart broken right now if I can have my way Na to just relocate go another country

You need to talk to her family members to resolve this issue

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Jaqenhghar: 3:42pm On Sep 27, 2021

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

She didnt change. The mask just fell off. Of you want to split abeg split. The children will be fine

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by mrdharkchild(m): 3:42pm On Sep 27, 2021

Kestolove:
Divorce and marry another, responsible girls full area no husband

Sure?
Point one out.
I'm searching..
Or is it u?

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by nonix22(m): 3:42pm On Sep 27, 2021

Red Flag!
Fleee asap

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that..

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Tinyemeka(m): 3:43pm On Sep 27, 2021

Kobojunkie:

So, you want to ruin your 15-year old marriage for the sake of your ego?
■ You go to market
■ Cook
■ clean the house
■ wash the children uniform
....
So you do these things in your own home and you expect what, a medal? The person that used to do them before, I am guessing your wife, she no be human being like you?

So your wife is interested in her career, and you are what? Against your "friend" doing well in her career or what? And let me guess, communication has degraded between you two and probably between your egos are butting heads at this point and rather than working on that, you are instead thinking of ways to end your relationship?

Look, no two marriages are created the same and no two individuals in a marriage are exact copies of themselves. You and your wife are meant to design your own marriage in a way that works for you, not go around comparing yourselves to others out there.
Die to your ego if you must and learn to grow rather than destroy your marriage over petty things such as what you listed here.

From OP's complaint and your exhaustive conclusion, what do you think OP's wife is contributing to the marriage?

1 Like

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Fiscus105(m): 3:43pm On Sep 27, 2021

neonly:

Yes she is actually a teacher in a private school whether she has saving or not I don't know and am sure her children don't know too because I have use style to ask and I don't see any bank transaction on her phone
Yes they are many issues I didn't include because am not a good writer like I said in d beginning
My concern honestly now is just my children I don't want them to grow up heart broken because parents are not together but she doesn't see d implications in all dis matter

All these flags use to come up during boyfriend and girlfriend, but we do ignore it, after several years if we cant sustain it, we will start complaining.

Wenever im asking girl out ,even if its on social media, i have known already that i wont be able to cope with this one for just 1 month.

1 Like

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by tritt(m): 3:43pm On Sep 27, 2021

Na this kind people dem dey call simp before them marry na...na you dey wash clothes, go market etc......OP you are a weak man period!.

No dey come worry us here with your problem abeg. Me i dey reason how much dollar go be by oct 1.

Albertone:

I had to re-read to know If OP is the wife or husband.
Omooo OP na the husband oo.

If she is not the breadwinner of the house and she is doing this,you have not been the man of the house.Being a man is not just by having dick o.It is by being able to control the home.

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Rubbiish(m): 3:43pm On Sep 27, 2021

Lastmankc:
And my mum is disturbing me to get married?I just told her that she can marry a second wife for my elder brother.And she's thinking that I am under a spell.She has been bringing different spiritualist to my house.The day I go break one of them head,he go shock everybody

Lol
How old are u that she is already bringing spiritualists?

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Asour: 3:43pm On Sep 27, 2021

Kestolove:
Divorce and marry another, responsible girls full area no husband

And marry another who is immune from this sort of behavior 5+ yrs down the line?

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Kobojunkie: 3:44pm On Sep 27, 2021

Tinyemeka:

From OP's complaint and your exhaustive conclusion, what do you think OP's wife is contributing to the marriage?

Op has yet to respond to those questions.. still waiting to read from him. undecided

Unless he opens up even more, there's no way of really telling. undecided

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Solatium(m): 3:44pm On Sep 27, 2021

neonly:

Not abt sex or calming nerves it abt our behavior in front of d kids it very unhealthy

Of course not,but continuous engagement with someone will take your attention away from those stress,by the time you are back at home from work you won't even have her energy.
Try it,it has worked for many

1 Like

Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Lastmankc(m): 3:45pm On Sep 27, 2021

Rubbiish:

Lol
How old are u that she is already bringing spiritualists?

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