Rubbiish:

Haba @ the bolded words
No be u cook sweet looking rice for hubby on a thread few days ago wey all of us con dey envy? Why u con dey yarn like this? I saw somewhere u stated u wan be feminist? Hope all is well sha...Abeg no let women like Kobojunkie mislead u o

I hate it when you have to tell a grown ass human being what to do. How people love to hurt people in disguise is what I don't get. She's going to church and ignoring her marital duties. Like my mentor joe Dispenza said "I don't know how to work in a relationship, and if it's a one sided relationship, something is very wrong."
Any stress wey pass money stress, op move. Don't let someone frustrate your emotions or treat you poorly just because you love them.
Make e break. Everybody go dey alright las las.
Better still start with separation. You never can tell if it's a delebrate act to scatter the home kpatakpata.

I dont see any Problem .If doing House Chores is the Problem,u people should get a House Help .If your wife is working full time and No Time for you,then u can decide to pay her to Sit at home .almost all women are Same now,their eyes Don Open .They are No longer do AS i say Like Our mothers in those day,marrying another wife May Not solve the Problem.You people should negotiate and get a solution .

neonly:





From 5yrs to 15yrs
Me am a contractor travelling Na my hubby sometimes I can stay at home for days
Wife is teacher in private school goes to work from 7 till 5 or 6
Saturday say she want to go to event in church most time
Sunday goes to church from 8 till 2 in d afternoon
So u see nothing to hide

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that..

Red flagz

Lastmankc:
31

Are u serious?
Just 31 & she is already bringing spiritualists to your house? Except u are the only son

tempex88:


I experienced something similar but didn't get that complex. I came to the conclusion that two can only work together if they agree. Support her on her career dream but let her know that those to things that needs to be done at home, someone has to do them. Na money e go chop. She should pay for cook, pay for nanny and pay for someone to stay with the children. You continue with rent payment, children fees and food allowance. If she wants to do what men does, she has to be ready to shoulder the responsibilities men shoulder....my own madam agreed to it. And we are fine.

I have actually suggested d house maid issue she totally oppose it
And me I dey fear make she no go kill person pikin

Is it church she goes to everyday or to the pastor's place?

what was the church matter that came up ?

Ofadaman:
Is it church she goes to everyday or to the pastor's place?

ROFLMAO

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

It's not normal for a woman to be the one running away from home.
I see three possibilities.
1. You wife is funding the home, you have now had an unconscious role shift, where you are doing all the chores while she is bringing all the money. And her attitude might be a protest to your less financial contribution. He who pays the piper dictates the tune. If this is the case, then you need to do more to earn more and keep your respect. Am not sure a contractor is a career in this day and time.

2. Your wife has been colonised by the church. You know the brainwashing thing is very easy, especially when you are convinced you are doing it for God. But apparently she does not do mid week service. Your best solution is to relocate your house far away from her current church. Find more to do, even if its farming. Leave before her on weekends and comeback after her, and just look on like an idiot.

3. You wife is having an Affair. Some dude is wiping her brain up and down. And she has grown quite confident in this relationship. If this is the case, you might have already lost her. But try anyway. Either track her for a week to be sure, and confront. Or Go for temporary separation, involve families etc. She will jump into the hands of her accomplice and things will be more visible. After which you can decide your next line.

omooba969:


@bolded, is often a recipe for disaster coz as interim separation helps to figure out if we indeed love/miss our partner, it also has the tendency to create a vacuum; providing us with the chance to ponder better on reasons we don't need our partners again.

Very dicey!

If temporary separation can create a vacuum strong enough to destroy the marriage, it has no foundation.
History is replete with stories of people who did not see themselves for 3, 7, 10 years and still got back together and lived happily ever after.
If after 3 months of separation, the spouse feels so good that he/she needs to make it permanent that relationship was a sham in the first place.

ahnie:
Forget I love you in marriage.marriage is hard,forget being married to your best friend, marriage is hard!hard!!and hard!!!

I think marriage should be scrapped completely coz it's an unending pit....

If you find the right person, marriage is sweet. Though it is not always smooth. But you will get over it.

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that..

Bro you better flee from her...the earlier the better.

Kestolove:
Divorce and marry another, responsible girls full area no husband

this your advice no hold water at all, make him no go jump from frying pan to fire ooo

Kestolove:
Divorce and marry another, responsible girls full area no husband

Most girls know how to pretend or be on their best behaviour when they're looking to settle down in marriage.

neonly:
I have actually suggested d house maid issue she totally oppose it
And me I dey fear make she no go kill person pikin

Have you considered sending your kids away to your parents or hers so you two can talk adult to adult about things?

Her objection to the hiring of a maid, her church schedule...something is hidden that needs to be revealed..

Sonnobax15:

Na wa oh......May thunder never forget to fire anybody wey say marriage institution no hard pass normal higher institution

Yes marriage is an institution.

So is prison.

anthonyuncle:
do whatever will give you peace

Simple.

And most importantly, remain in your children's lives.

Hmmmm

bigpicture001:
Everyday u see young broke guyz shouting to the top of thier voices, "focus, working class lady" them never jam. When they meet what they wish for, the would prefer not too focused quite jobless respective and supporting wife

They worst is knowing ur wife have the money to rescue u from a very dangerous downfall ND refuses to ... It turns to hating her instantly

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Oga,take it easy life isn't as we all planned but we shall keep on planning. My wife has been a banker for the past 11years, and I have supported her until she became a management staff.
Both of us have found ways to manage our home,employing a nanny,I stay off work to be with my children for two days in a week,I take my time to ensure I pick and drop my wife at her work place since 2015 till date.

However,and my children have never been left behind in all this. I make sure their school bus comes to pick and drop them daily and during their holidays,there is a school teacher to take care of their learnings.
In fact,because I used to have time compare to my wife,I have been the one going to markets to buy food stuffs and my wife does the cooking that would last us for 3months. This we have been doing to run the family of five without being tired for the 5years.

So,why should u divorce your wife when u can supports her to grow in her endeavours? Plan ur family,that is ur priority as a man and divorce will cripple ur household and create a huge void that no other strange woman will be able to fill.

Good luck to u.

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

You have spoken to everybody including we nairaland strangers but you are yet to speak with your wife that is giving you the wahala. Pride is what is killing your home. This I've seen with my third eye because you didn't tell your story well.

[b]What type of career?
How many years you've been washing dishes and going to the market?
no referee change the rule of the game halftime.
alternative is to continue washing all whatever because [i]no be today it starts[/i] [[/b]quote author=neonly post=106214002]Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate
[/quote]

neonly:



No marriage is perfect dis I
know talking to her has become a ritual daily reoccurance
Some are just lucky when it comes to marriage guess u one of them
Just posting dis to know if other people out der are going tru what am going tru at least share opinion like you doing
Thks

I have been married for 10 years and will be divorced by this weekend.
My mother Inlaw is the one trying to decide my fate in this marriage.
My wife goes out by 5:30 daily and comes home by 9:00pm.
What the kids eat or wears is not her concern.
I have tried to shout and beat her but she wan use dagger kill me.
I reported to the mum and she’s threatening my life.
I was sick for 8 months and she never gave me water to drink,gave me food nor even said sorry.
She was busy telling people that she’s waiting for me to die so she can wear white and move on.
She no send me.
For me,it’s better I stay far and be looking at her than to die in silence because I don’t want people to know I am having problem.
I can shout it anywhere say my madam wan kpai me ooooo.
Women no dey see your face.
Know this and know peace.
You might not survive the next 5 years.
Discharge her and build up yourself again.
You only have your life to save.

ibechris:
Oga,take it easy life isn't as we all planned but we shall keep on planning. My wife has been a banker for the past 11years, and I have supported her until she became a management staff.
Both of us have found ways to manage our home,employing a nanny,I stay off work to be with my children for two days in a week,I take my time to ensure I pick and drop my wife at her work place since 2015 till date.

However,and my children has never been left behind in all this. I make sure their school bus comes to pick and drop them daily and during their holidays,there is a school teacher to take care of their learnings.
In fact,because I used to have time compare to my wife,I have been the one going to markets to buy food stuffs and my wife does the cooking that would last us for 3months. This we have been doing to run the family of five without being tired for the 5years.

So,why should u divorce your wife when u can supports her to grow in her endeavours? Plan ur family,that is ur priority as a man and divorce will cripple ur household and create a huge void that no other strange woman will be able to fill.

Good luck to u.

Interesting!

Kobojunkie:
Have you considered sending your kids away to your parents or hers so you two can talk adult to adult about things?

Her objection to the hiring of a maid, her church schedule...something is hidden that needs to be revealed..

I was going to ask question about this: Her objection to the hiring of a maid . Seems strange that a working class woman would refuse help

Shokoloko:


If temporary separation can create a vacuum strong enough to destroy the marriage, it has no foundation.
History is replete with stories of people who did not see themselves for 3, 7, 10 years and still got back together and lived happily ever after.
If after 3 months of separation, the spouse feels so good that he/she needs to make it permanent that relationship was a sham in the first place.

With separation, both will definitely feel differently about their marriage after the short separation. Whether or not there was a solid foundation may not help.

It's helpful to engage husband and wife in talking about their problems rather than trying to run away from their shadows...in the guise of temporary separation.

MALIGNANTGuest:

MOST WOMEN become complacent and laxed the moment they secure marriage.
They forget the nitty-gritty of marriage.

The only way to keep them on their toes & in check is to make them compete favourably among themselves, this you can do by getting another wife rather than divorcing her outrightly.
WOMEN hate competition.
They dislike competing among their peers.
OUR Forefathers knew this and kept them in check by marrying many.

I made sure I passed the message to my WIFE before wedlock, that any day she decides to run a parallel government in our house, I will have no choice but to make her compete among her peers

Lol! Your wife is calm, if you jam babe wey tear, na the two of you go dey cheat at the same time, nothing go happen

The devil is really out against marriages now, please pray, talk with her and settle these things. It pains me when I hear of things like this.

Iyaebe:
To all those men wey dy go church to go look for wife hehehehe na still us dy there ooo we just change cloth hehehehe(culled from a video,no be me talk am)

Op, I feel your pain. It’s best you go to God in prayer.

Ynix:

Bro chat me up on 08089456258

Chat u up for what na

It is how you handled her from the beginning. I'm sure you knelt to propose (that was deception)....now you are made to "kneel" and you are complaining! Receive grace to carry your cross...God hates divorce!