You have made an error.kmowing they don't have a house .u ought to have explained to them what your plans are for them in terms of permanent accommodation.

If the documents your wife's name as well ,use it to convince them u won't mind if d house belongs to u alone but since it is both of u then u will.try build a house for them while they stay in the house for the time being.

Next time be wise.dontbentrust your affairs into the hands of those you cannot invoke the law against.

Until whosoever you put in charge of the new house you want to build chop your money and run away your body go calm down. I didn't say what your parent did was right, but it can be fixed when you come back and I can assure you, they will take good care of the house.

skyoboy:
This sounds funny... I guess your parents were expecting you to build them a house first considering maybe they catered for you and sent you abroad with their last savings (This may not be true)...
Bro, I'd advise you move on and plan to build another house for your self but this time, DON'T INVOLVE THEM.
It won't be a healthy battle sending them out of the house...

alpontif:
You sef think am

1. You RESIDE permanently overseas.

2. YOUR OWN PARENTS live in a Rented house in Nigeria.

3. You told this said parents to build a Personal House for YOU in Nigeria, while you continue to reside PRIMARILY overseas

I can only conclude you don't have good friends, or you don't listen to sage advice, or maybe you are getting affected by American culture.

Number one, it is an insult to your image that your parents live in a rented apartment while you have enough money to build a house for them. It shows deep selfishness and self centredness, and an inability to be self aware.

Number two, it is an insult to your parents that you inform them to build you a personal house that you will basically live in just during festive periods if you are around in Nigeria , while they live in a rented apartment. It is undignified and grossly insulting to them.

A wiser child would first do all he can to remove his parents from a Rented house, by building them their own house, even if it's a 3 bedroom. Owing one's own property does a lot to the self esteem. Your parents self esteem would have greatly increased while they would have said endless prayers for you.

How do you imagine they feel living in a rented property while their non resident son is building a Brand new house for his Holiday home?.. Is that good to you?

Now that they have preempted you, are you going to make the problem much worse by chasing them from the house?

How can you leave a house empty while your parents live in a rented house?

Does that make sense to you?.. You need to change your circle of friends or advisers and pray for wisdom.

Which kind stupid advise is this?

This entitled mentality is what is killing Nigerian parents. So he has to build house for his parents before building his?

Don't cage the man with your emotional blackmail.

OP, don't listen to this dude.

What do you mean when you said what do you do? Are they supposed to live in a rented apartment when you have a building in Nigeria.

Are you married? Yes,they are wrong. If No,since you dont have family of your own,they are your family for now,and that's why they move in.

Born2conquer:

He must or else he will end up a tenant/squatter in his own own house

I have seen this go wrong in a lot of ways
Like plenty ways wrong to right

yunqdady:

It all depends on relationships. I can give my parents my life considering how they sacrificed so much for me.
Some parents cared about nothing on their kids, such kids could have your type of opinion. So it's relative. Only op knows what and how the parents are to him

You can give, is quite different from them taking it by force. That is what they have just done to this young man who is helpless, distraught, and of course, cannot complain lest he be disparaged by the merciless nigerian society.
It sounds and smells like extortion to me.
I am giving the best to my kids and will never be a burden to them in anyway when they are grown.

A lot of Nigerian parents never plan for the future, keep breeding like bunny the rabbit and of course, expect the poor child to bear all the burdens.
This is unfair.

descarado:
What do you want to do?

good question �

cococandy:



Where una dey see this money ?

The kind of advice y’all give on NL sha

“Even if na 3 bedroom bungalow”. As if it doesn’t cost millions to build. So unrealistic

One said he should look for N8m and build another house (even if it means starving his own kids I guess )?

Kehindeaj78:
I live outside the country but I entrusted my house development with my parents in Nigeria, but they leave in a rented apartment. They're are due for new rent payment at their rented apartment which i sent them the money, only for them to call me that they don't want to rent another apartment again and have moved into my ongoing house and used the money to do somethings in the ongoinghouse. What do I do?

Firstly, Kehinde why should your family matter as trivial as this be on a public forum? Secondly, you already know what to do, you're only seeking comments that would make you feel okay for your thought line of action. But know this, they are your parents. You know them better perhaps the reason you consider their action an issue. If you don't need them in your house for reasons best known to you. Oga, discuss it with them now that they just moved in and the house is still under maintenance, with that as an excuse, or that your intention is build and sell "business". And they should give you time, to build a permanent resident. Meanwhile, if they aren't that aged and are still engaged with something. Try to empower or boost their hustle. But know that if they are very aged, unwell, you're their only source of income, only child, etc. You'd have to let them be else removing them will cost you crisis beyond you.

Listen to the lyrics .Zinoleesky…..naira Marley .

Acidosis:



This one already is planning to demand N100 million monthly from his kids because of akara and akamu.

Tout!

Tarr! Gerrout of my mention.
Go and abandon ur parents,eddiot

Kehindeaj78:
I'm married and the development of the house is from the purse of me and my wife

That kind of house should have 2 detached sections.

Like one big bungalow, one small bungalow.

I know one family that built a big 4 bedroom bungalow and another small 3 bedroom bungalow as gatehouse on 4 plots of land.

Your parents will just move to the smaller one anytime you come back to Nigeria with your family.

How will you be staying abroad for 11 months and keep an empty house while your parents pay rent in thesame state ? Its not that you will even return home every year.

It makes no sense.

GetMeRight:


What a mentality? Not everyone living and working abroad want to die and be buried there now no matter how worse Nigeria is! It is still their root

Read and understand mah comment first, before you quote me.
I wrote that "afterall, you're not coming to Naija to live forever"
If he intends coming back to Naija to live forever, then it's a different ball game.
I wrote this because many persons i know abroad, are not thinking of coming back to live here forever.

OfficialAPCNig:

Which kind stupid advise is this?

This entitled mentality is what is killing Nigerian parents. So he has to build house for his parents before building his?

Don't cage the man with your emotional blackmail.

OP, don't listen to this dude.

A Nigerian Dad called his son and told him to place him on salary of 750k a month and a 2018 brand new car - SUV o

he called back saying he wants a new wife

Skyview01:


You can give, is quite different from them taking it by force. That is what they have just done to the young man who is helpless, cannot complain lest he be castigated by society.
It sounds and smells like extortion to me.
I am giving the best to my kids and will never be a hurden to them in anyway when they are grown.

A lot of Nigerian parents never plan for the future, keep breeding without control and expect the poor child to bear all the burdens.
It is not right.

Well, guess I'm fortunate with the type of parents I have then.

Acidosis:


Aha you already know ! But I think the wife should be compensated even if they agree on getting another property. Women think deep. I bet she's currently thinking about the future and how to secure her kids' future.

Times are quite hard and I believe e reach abroad too and I can't even imagine how the wife will be feeling, can the husband even afford to give the wife her own share if she asks for it?

We don't even know their circumstances there are people that struggle through labour sweat and pain to build house some it is all their tiny savings over the years, they build little by little.

Its not a situation I wish anyone to be, his parents don't regard him and his wife at all.

Its not like they lack shelter, the rent is being paid and they were given money for renewal so what exactly is the problem. I still don't gerrit.

Pacesetter123:
Tarr! Gerrout of my mention.
Go and abandon ur parents,eddiot

Sorry, my parents are the most appreciative people on earth. As old as I am, they are still willing to do more than they've ever done in the past. You obviously don't understand the idea of parenting.

Kehindeaj78:
I'm married and the development of the house is from the purse of me and my wife

Tell them in a polite way to move back to the rented apartment and send them money again for that.

If they refuse then give them a part of the house to occupy in the mean time and politely tell them to leave the other part for you and your wife.

If they still refuse then politely use legal action when you return to Nigeria.

You said your wife contributed too yea? Tell your wife's parents to also move in. Make una dey do one big family

Your parents need to be commended. They are prudent. Have u not heard of parents that gambled dispora remittance? Is you sponse not happy someone utilised the funds judiciously and wisely? In other words because ur spouse resources is in it, that why you seem flaming? Ur parents felt no need to keep paying rent when our son has a house he doesn't have any plan for living in the nearest future. Even when u come, it is for a visit. What then is the importance of building an unhibited house? Build another house for them if u will like them to stay outside ur private house. Ur spouse has parents and didn't fall from up, she will understand.

DWJOBScom:


A Nigerian Dad called his son and told him to place him on salary of 750k a month and a 2018 brand new car - SUV o

he called back saying he wants a new wife

Thats the entitled mentality I am talking about

Kehindeaj78:
I live outside the country but I entrusted my house development with my parents in Nigeria, but they leave in a rented apartment. They're are due for new rent payment at their rented apartment which i sent them the money, only for them to call me that they don't want to rent another apartment again and have moved into my ongoing house and used the money to do somethings in the ongoinghouse. What do I do?

Kehindeaj78:
I'm married and the development of the house is from the purse of me and my wife

Sir, you are in a tight corner. Put yourself in your wife's shoe. How would you feel? She no get parents too? She trusted your judgement by entrusting all in your parents' care, dont betray her trust now. If it was the other way, those comments up would turn her parents to evil. See eh....dont ever let that innocent, trusting woman down. Never.

At the same time, your parents are worth taking care of. African parents are too entitled. This is how they destroy their daughters' home by mounting too much pressure on her to take, grab or steal enermous wealth from their husbands. Poverty is the reason people behave like this. Yeah, it all started with tradition, and then poverty aggravated it.

But then, let us consider them too. The society compelled them to give it all to train you. And they compiled. They sacrificed everything. Well, they may not send you abroad cos it is even rare parents send children abroad now (not all can be like my own mother), cos naira is bad now. It is not their fault also.

So, they acted the way their brains are wired. They didnt mean bad at all. They were only trying to save you more expenses. Why should they pay rents when their son has got a house he is building. Lol.

It is too late to start blaming yourself. You are the one in the center of everything. Bro, you must not betray your wife and you must not hurt your parents.

Let me borrow you an advice. Na lie you go blow oooo. That lie is called wisdom. Find a way to convince your parents the house is meant for you, but not everything is yours (actually you are saying the truth, but you will not just mention the other party involved). And the other lie is that you want to use it as investment. Thank them for their initiative, but let them know that it doesnt go well with the person. The person is bent on recovering his amount of money. So, they shouldn't bother where the money to compete it will come from. And that you will pay it gradually. Let them see reason. And it must not come out that your wife is the one who borrowed cos she didnt borrow you. You invested in it together, and she didnt send you to say such. So that if it comes out later she is the bad one. Nope. You must know how to handle it like a man.

Also meet your wife and plead with her that you cannot just throw them out. That you need time for them to move out. And let her see your effort. She may be the one to tell you to leave them ooo. And that God will do another one. Or she may not.

But in anyway, everything is wisdom. See bro....continue studying the situation.

1. Let your parents know they are moving out whether your wife accepts them or not. This is standard. I have borrowed you wisdom to use. Let them know its borrowed money. And you dont want to hurt them. But they may see it as a disgrace. Who knows who they have told they are packing to their son's house. And then, they are waiting for a new car and a stand by driver to balance the equation. But it is necessary to prepare their mind that they are leaving ooo. But dont hurry them up. Some parents will even throw in a fight and call the same wife...lol.Or can call family members. The most important is to be able to handle your wife. And know when to stop sp you dont hurt your parents. Just know that you owe your wife so big. I pray she understands..hmmmm. You are in a very tight situation, I must confess. You are.

2. Let your spouse see all you are doing to make peace and let them leave.

But sir, if I were you, I would turn the house to investment ( i only pray it is not in a rural area where no one wants to live now except old people and people who will stay there for max of a month in a year like you). If they eventually leave the house and you go with your spouse to stay there, na wahala oooo. Even your spouse pushes you, dont ever succumb. It is fire. Use wisdom.

So, while they are living there, you may find a way to quickly convert the whole building into a commercial Estate if it's in a good location. If it's a bungalow of 3 bedroom, sir find a way to cut out something from it to rent out oooo. Even you will have to destroy part of the house and remodel it. Even you have to spend more. Hmmmm. Cos this is a big test for you. You must not fail your wife, and you must not hurt your parents. If your wife sees money is coming from the rented part, she may overlook it and forget about the house. And then, a new sacrifice from both of you to build a new place can be born again while the little you acquire as rent may go a little way. Rent these days is nothing compared to the initial cost. The real way to make profit from Estate these days is outright sales. Rents are nothing. If you depend on rent, it may take 30 years to recover the amount spent. So, sales is where people hope to get their investment. And saying that the rent you will collect can build another house is a big lie. But it can make your spouse overlook it all and allow them stay. But discuss any action you intend taking.

At the same time, let her know it is dangerous you kick them out and you live there in the future. Assure her you can't do same to her parents also.

Hmmm. It is a difficult situation you are in. And I pray God gives you the wisdom to not hurt your parents and not betray the trust of your wife.

Blessing bro!

DWJOBScom:
Treat it immediately

Let them know you intend staying in that house alone.

That they need to move back to their apartment or find another

noooooo

if you not married , you will need to marry and live with your wife alone without your parents (that shit is not funny at all)

if you are married , your family needs that privacy without a debate.

Please ask them to leave the house!

I know where your rudeness attitude is coming from, you're just a boy that no nothing about parentalhood, look at what you're vomiting from your mouth, did you know what it take to nurtured a child till he grow up, may God forgive you because I know sooner or later you will get there.

EkehPraise:
They are your parents..
You can leave them for now and make arrangements on getting them a land where you can build a 2 or 3 bedroom for them.

Ejecting them will make you appear like a bad child

Not "appear." He WILL BE a bad child if he dares evict them.

He should adjust and move on.

And maybe he should have let them know that it was joint effort with his wife to build the house.

But if the wife sees them as her parents, too, she wouldn't have any problem with it. She'll probably be the one to advise him to let them stay.

LilMissFavvy:
I think if he does this, it will be rude. What he should do is to tell the parents that when he returns and gets married, they will have to leave his house. Op, your dad as a man is supposed to have a land. After you build yours, you can help him with an amount you can afford, and tell him to build his house. 2-3 rooms is okay.

so because he wants to get married,his parents should leave the house.....why do you guys overhyped this marriage of a thing.....only a folish nigga will come back Nigeria to stay because he wants to get married!

descartes400:


Do you know if he is building the house for business purposes? Like for rentage?

Now consider this...if the rentage of where his parents are staying in is 500k.. and at the completion of his ongoing house, he intends to rent it out for 2 or 3million a year or so? Do the math...
From the money accrued from the rentage of the house, he can comfortably take care of his parents rent and other welfare needs of his parents and will still have some change left...which can be use for other projects..like building another house for the parents.

Your comment make sense in a way, buh from OP narrative, it shows its a private residential building.

[quote author=cooljude post=106426559][/quote]I know he hasn't abandoned them.But now that they have already parked into the building and he is asking what to do.
Were you expecting me to advise him to go and fight with his parents and send them parking bcoz they occupied the house without his consent?
Or is that what you are advising him in this case?

Mumu man.

Na parents dey handle house matter for you. Una no dey learn. Don't do business with friends and family. It will end in tears.

The house don turn family house now. Mumu

FahBuLous:
Don't do anything...
They are your parents, if you really love them, let them live there for now... When you are back from outside the country, Rent another apartment for them...

I know people value their privacy alot...

The bolded seems like emotional blackmail. You know that the longer the parents stay there, the harder it will be for them to leave.

They will now start putting the blame on the wife as being the instigator. And the op said the funds came from him and his wife.

Everyone is saying the parents sacrificed their lives for him...blah blah. Did they bring him into the world to fend for himself?

OP needs to get a family member here that can make the parents understand and leave.

Crossroad1:
I believe whatever his parent is helping him build is not a bungalow..
Around 5-10m,u can erect a good bungalow

Do you have 5-10 million?
If yes can you lend me some?

Acidosis:


One said he should look for N8m and build another house (even if it means starving his own kids I guess )?

Millionaires everywhere

They didn’t consider that it’s possible OP and his wife used most or all of their savings for that project.

They should just cough up millions and start building again. Lol