RESPONSE TO
ALLEGATIONS OF WIFE BATTERING
AGAINST ME, DR CHIJIOKE WIGWE,
BY MRS TESS IYI WIGWE AS PUBLISHED
BY
THE STAR NEWSPAPER ON 26TH MAY
2011
Background
I married Tess Iyi Wigwe (nee Oniga)
under native law and custom on 9th April
1978. The girl I married was famous for
her temper and fighting ability. With my
gentle and unassuming nature, I honestly
believed that the sharp contrast in our
characters could neutralize and
complement each other. It was a grave
error of judgment.
I joined the Nigerian Foreign Service in
April 1984 after teaching at the University
of Jos for some years. My first posting in
1986 was to Tokyo, Japan. I was in charge
of Commercial and Trade Matters. One
night in July 1988, I took my female
colleague from another Embassy out for
dinner. It was actually the first outing.
After dinner, I took her in my car in order
to drop her off at a train station. As we
drove through town, a car which I quickly
recognised as mine (I owned 2 cars) and
being driven by Mrs Wigwe pulled up
beside us at a traffic light. Mrs Wigwe
hurled air freshener bottles and any other
objects she could find in the car to hit us. I
later came down from the vehicle and
explained to her who the lady was. But
she did not believe me and instead chased
me through the city shouting abuses at us
and throwing objects at us. When I got to
a train station, I opened the door and let
the lady out. Mrs Wigwe abandoned her
car in the middle of the road causing a big
jam as she ran after the lady. She caught
up with her and after interrogating her,
seriously assaulted her, and beat her so
mercilessly using the woman’s umbrella
that the woman passed out. Mrs Wigwe
fearing that the lady was dead fled the
scene taking with her the woman’s hand
bag. Good Samaritans took the lady to
hospital where she spent one month in
intensive care. I was made to pay the
woman’s hospital bills. The morning after
the attack, Mrs Wigwe traced me to the
Embassy where I had taken shelter and
took a huge stone and smashed the
windscreen of the car to pieces. Mrs
Wigwe never admitted to taking the
handbag and its contents. However,
months later, the wife of a colleague with
whom she had left the handbag,
confessed. This gross act of violence
visited on an innocent woman, so angered
the Nigerian Ambassador and the entire
staff that it was decided that Mrs Wigwe
should be punished severely to deter
other wives with such inclinations.
Accordingly, she was suspended from
post for 3 months and repatriated to
Nigeria by the Embassy in October 1988.
She spent a total of 6 months at home
coming back only in April 1989 when my
posting came to an abrupt end following
the decision of the Ministry of Foreign
Affairs to recall over 150 officers
worldwide who had spent 24 months and
above at post in the wake of the
structural adjustment programme of the
government of the day.
That premature recall had a serious
psychological impact on my very young
family of 4 and I decided to take a one
year study leave at own expense
ostensibly to pursue a post-graduate
diploma in journalism in London, but
strategically, to insulate our children from
the disruptive effects of the unpredictable
posting policy of the Ministry of Foreign
Affairs. I therefore took my family along
with me at great cost. When I left England
in February 1992, I left my family behind.
In 1993 I was posted to Warsaw, Poland
but my family remained in London for the
sake of the children’s and Mrs Wigwe’s
education. Having learnt a bitter lesson
from Tokyo, I unilaterally decided that Mrs
Wigwe must not live with me at post in
Warsaw. Instead, I encouraged her quest
for higher education since she had only
secondary education when I married her.
She graduated from Middlesex University
in July 1998. I paid her fees through
university from 1993 and law school. At
the end of my posting in October 1998, I
returned to Nigeria. The family, now well
established and settled, remained in
London. Between 1998 and 1999 I made
regular visits to the family. In November
1999, Mrs Wigwe visited me in Abuja and
we travelled to her home town. We had a
very serious misunderstanding. We
returned to Abuja and she travelled back
to London. When she returned to London
after two weeks, she informed me that
she no longer wished for me to come to
London as previously planned to spend
the Christmas and New Year holidays. All
my efforts to reach her by telephone, fax
and mail were unsuccessful. The situation
continued until 2002 when on transiting
London en route New York for an official
assignment in July 2002, I discovered that
Mrs Wigwe had brought her male lover, a
Nigerian of Yoruba tribe, to live with her
and the children in the family house. The
children told me how they had bitterly
resented her and her lover. But she
ignored the children and co-habited with
her boyfriend in the family house for close
to a year. To all intents and purposes, we
were still husband and wife; we were not
even officially separated! It was then I
knew the reason why I had been barred
from visiting the family since 1999.
Consequently, and bruising from the
humiliation she had bestowed on me and
the children in particular, I hastily
remarried in December 2002. I married
my colleague in the service whom I had
not actually known for more than six
months. By mutual consent in December
2006, we decided to separate amicably
and to remain friends which we are to
date. As the marriage had no children it
was quite easy for us to part. I remained a
bachelor.
Following my nomination as ambassador
in September 2007, I called Mrs Wigwe on
phone to offer her an olive branch and to
ask her to join me, if she so wished, to
associate with my new appointment. It
was another grave error of judgment.
Although I never intended that we should
live together under the same roof again
as husband and wife given our
antecedents and the coldness of feelings
that mutually existed between us after
many years of separate lives. I was only
prepared for her to have a sense of
belonging and attachment to my new
status considering also that we have 5
children together. I thought the honour
was due to her. She accepted and
travelled to see me in Abuja in April 2008.
Our first encounter after many years,
proved to me and I guess to her, that we
could truly no longer call ourselves
husband and wife. Nevertheless and much
to my shock and deep apprehension, she
decided to take a leave of absence for 3
years from her employer in London to join
me in residence in Nairobi. She insisted
that I should take over her monthly
expenditures in London including an
ongoing mortgage for the family house I
had myself helped her to buy in 2004
after she was on the verge of losing it due
to lack of funds to meet her housing loan
requirements. I did this in spite of not
being married to her. I did it for the sake
of the children. I could not contest her
decision to come and live with me in
Nairobi thus I let her come. But, it was
clear as crystal that our differences and
her mistrust of me and our mutual dislike
for each other’s company were insoluble
but above all that our long evaporated
love would never come back. Thus, we
have been living in separate bedrooms
connected by an inner door that is firmly
and permanently locked from her side of
the border. We decided to live with as
minimal contact with each other as we
could manage. Because she often refused
to open her door, we developed the art of
communication by notes pushed under the
door. She liked it so much as it often
allowed her to state her endless money
requests without having to justify them.
We hardly engage in conversations except
when she needs money. Our irregular
engagements in the act of conversation
often end up in a quarrel. In public we
manage to present a united front but
those who are close to us know that we
were only putting up appearances. We did
fairly well and were just longing for the
end of my tenure as ambassador so that
we could resume forever our separate
lives. That long hoped for time is nearly
with us and hence the deep anxiety on the
part of Mrs Wigwe who for 3 years has
lived in reasonable comfort and financial
security, with a Mercedes Benz car and a
driver to complement her status. The end
of my tenure would mean a return to
financial stress and anxiety for her. Mrs
Wigwe is in a desperate mood. I am
reliably informed that most of the GBP
1,700 mortgage (about $2,800) that I
have to cough out every month from my
meagre Foreign Service allowance and
remit to her account in London through
my Barclays account in Nairobi, was
allegedly misappropriated by someone
she trusted in London and that to date the
mortgage in London is in tatters and Mrs
Wigwe has suffered a loss of GBP 10,000.
Besides this loss, Mrs Wigwe claimed that
she had lost $6,000 in cash from her
bedroom in 2009 and most recently
another $3,000. The houseboy then in
2009 was accused of stealing the money
from Mrs Wigwe’s 24 hour locked
bedroom. The servant pleaded his
innocence and the money was never found
and police abandoned the matter and we
sacked the servant. The latest theft of $
3,000 again from her heavily locked
bedroom sometime this year remains a
mystery. She did interrogate the new
servant and even followed him to his
house to interrogate his wife, but nothing
came of it. Mrs Wigwe is in a desperate
state financially. This is the motive for the
onslaught against me in a desperate
attempt to tarnish my image and
reputation and to get monetary
compensation that will restore her big
loss and sustain her for a long time. That
is why she has carefully chosen the words
she used in the story that appeared in the
Star where she was talking of spine and
paralysis. Mrs Wigwe is an avid watcher
of the television channel Crime
Investigation. She hardly watches
anything else. She had obviously practised
and rehearsed her lines and actions for
months in her premeditated assault on me
on Wednesday 11th May 2011. Concerning
her wish for spine injury that would lead
to paralysis, I can only pray God to please
graciously grant her wish so that she may
truly know what it is to have spine injury.
ALLEGATION OF WIFE BATTERING
On Thursday 26th May 2011, the Star, a
Nairobi based tabloid, published a story in
its front page with photographs showing
a badly bruised face of Mrs Tess Wigwe
and an allegation that I, her husband, had
inflicted those injuries on her face. It was
alleged that I had beaten my wife because
she had responded to a “note” from me
requesting to be served food. It was
alleged that I had so beaten her that she
suffered injuries to her spine and she was
in danger of being paralysed. Many other
allegations dating back to many years
then followed in her premeditated attempt
to build a solid case against me, including
the foolish allegation that I used to bring
women to the Residence in 2008 and the
blatantly false information that she left
me in Nigeria in 1999 and went to
England to study and live.
RESPONSE
In response to these allegations, I wish to
state quite categorically that I did not beat
my wife and that I did not ask for food
either in writing or verbally. What
happened that fateful Wednesday night
was shocking to me and clearly fits into a
pre-planned mould cast by the avid Crime
TV watcher, I had returned home late at
night after attending the launch of a new
product, Go Places, by Kenya Commercial
Bank which was held at the Hilton Hotel.
As is my practice, I went straight to my
room and began to take off my jacket. Mrs
Wigwe matched into my room shouting on
top of her voice (that is how she speaks to
me) that if I knew I would not be eating at
home, I should tell her so she does not
have to prepare any meals for me. I was
stunned as indeed I had been eating
regularly every day when I come home
from work. I took it for a joke but I saw
she was going on and on and would not
let me put in a word. Her loud voice
attracted my daughter Ada who came
over to my room. Upon sighting my
daughter I told her to please convince her
mother that I had been eating food I met
in the fridge every day at least for the
past two weeks. Mrs Wigwe was taking
none of that and insisted and before I
knew it she was abusing me and calling
me names. I naturally got angry and told
her that if she were indeed taking proper
charge of her kitchen then she would have
noticed that I do eat what has been
prepared for me. She took offence with
my comment and became agitated when I
asked her when or what has prompted
her sudden interest and care for my
welfare.
In her characteristic manner, Mrs Wigwe
lunged at me to slap me. I tried defending
myself and indeed my daughter came in
the way and as we tussled and jostled
around the door to her own bedroom
where a massive wooden shoe rack was
standing, Mrs Wigwe received a cut. Once
she felt blood on her right side of face,
Mrs Wigwe used her right hand to rub the
blood and smeared her entire face with it.
She ran into her bedroom and produced a
camera and in the presence of my
daughter and I, Mrs Wigwe photographed
herself, taking two to three shots. She
was shouting that she had got me, and
that the whole world was going to see her
bloodied face; that she was going to send
the picture to Abuja. As my daughter and I
tried to push her into her room to prevent
her from coming to fight me, my
daughter’s hand was caught in the
bedroom door and she gasped in pain.
Mrs Wigwe also grabbed her phone and
called her friend Yvonne to come and take
her as she had been injured and bleeding.
My son Nelson, who also joined in the
effort to restrain Mrs Wigwe, offered to
wipe the blood but Mrs Wigwe refused.
With camera in hand, Mrs Wigwe ran
downstairs and outside the building and
for the next one hour was hurling abuses
at me and shouting obscenities about me
and my family and friends. It took the
combined efforts of the Security Guard,
the Cook and my son Nelson Ikenna to
hold her back and prevent her from re-
entering the house which I had now safely
locked. In frustration that she could not
re-enter the house, Mrs Wigwe who
claimed in her report to the Star that she
had suffered spinal injury, managed to
wrestle with three able men and finally
broke loose to carry a flower pot to
smash the big glass window of the room
we use as gym. She carried the flower pot
and threw it at the glass window,
shattering it. Not long after, her friend
Yvonne arrived and together with my
daughter they drove off. No ambulance
was needed to convey Mrs Wigwe to
hospital. Mrs Wigwe did not first rush to
the Police to report the incident and show
her injuries to the police. Mrs Wigwe only
reported to the police on 27th May! That
speaks volumes. She went to the police
after people had begun to doubt her
story! The first wave of shock when the
story first hit the headlines had begun to
give way to sombre reflection and
analysis. As the children and house staff
began to contradict her story, she decided
it was time to make a statement to the
police. She began to focus on her dual
citizenship and what the British
government might do for her.
Yvonne later sent me a text message
saying Mrs Wigwe and daughter had been
admitted at Aga Khan Hospital. I sent Mrs
Wigwe a text in the morning advising her
to get much needed rest. I also wanted to
go and see her but she bluntly told me to
keep off and to await a letter from her
lawyer and to watch the news for what
was going to happen to me. I had advised
her to take the period to rest properly in
hospital having noticed that since January
she had lacked proper sleep following the
devastating news of the alleged
misappropriation of GBP 10,000 by her
trusted friend and the“theft” of $3,000
in-house. Of course, she was not aware
that my son Nelson to whom she had
confided about the loss in London had
intimated me I had sworn to secrecy
before not to divulge the information. I
continue to pretend ignorance of what
has been ailing her and almost confining
her to her bed for months. In addition, my
son had also informed me that while I was
away on consultation in Abuja, Mrs
Wigwe had told him that somebody had
hinted her that I might have purchased a
house in Nairobi. She had said that she
was investigating it and if found to be
true, will engage the services of a lawyer
to ensure that her name was appended to
the property. She thus began calling my
staff in the Embassy but got no positive
response. She quizzed Nelson and found
out he knew nothing of any such
enterprise. She could be scheming to lay
her hands on the property if it is indeed
true. It is instructive that on the night
when her spine was broken and she had
severe waist pain, Mrs Wigwe
remembered to mention the house issue
among the tirade of words that were
flying out of her mouth like a practised
actor. Her greed would not allow her to
note that she alone owns the house in
London and in her village which was built
entirely with my money while serving in
Tokyo. Considering the odds staring her in
the face as my tenure in Nairobi draws to
a close, Mrs Wigwe is in dire need of a
way out.
My daughter Ada was discharged from
hospital after several x-rays revealed no
damages to her bruised hand. Mrs Wigwe
remained in hospital until Saturday 14th
morning when Yvonne sent me a text to
say that she had been discharged and I
needed to pay the bills. I was in church
when the text came and I went straight to
the hospital and paid the bill of ksh
27,800 (about $330) and even took her
x-ray result. She had only taken the pain
killer prescribed for her and had not taken
the x-ray result. Her spinal injury was
miraculously healed within 3 days. From
hospital she went straight to Yvonne’s
home and remained there. I travelled to
Abuja on Wednesday 18th and came back
on Wednesday 25th. When she heard
news of my travel, she returned to the
Residence as I was to learn later. As I had
locked my bedroom from the front door, I
was shocked to discover that my drawers
had been ransacked and 1 (one) Rolex
watch, 1(one) Accurate gold watch and
1(one) gold ring with precious stone had
been stolen with their cases. Mrs Wigwe
is the only one with a key to the
connecting door to my room. She
prevented me from keeping a spare. Only
she has absolute access to my bedroom
and she enters there at will including
when am fast asleep. Why did she have to
remove those items if not to sell them and
make some extra cash from them?
Secondly, when I entered the pantry next
to my bedroom, I noticed that 1 (one)
trunk box and over 10 (ten) empty
suitcases belonging to me had
disappeared and the room was desolate.
The trunk box was full of my stuff but she
had recklessly emptied them and
forcefully repacked them into the other
two boxes. I asked the houseboy who
confirmed that Mrs Wigwe had packed all
her personal belongings into the suitcases
and locked them in the store downstairs. I
went downstairs and noticed that she had
removed her pictures from the various
room walls. In spite of all these, I found
Mrs Wigwe very much living in the house,
locked up as usual in her bedroom!
On the same day that I had returned to
Nairobi having flown with the night flight
from Lagos, I went to work and a little
after 11 am I received a call from an
unfamiliar number. It was a man from
Radio Africa, publishers of the Star. He
mumbled something about a letter with
very bad photographs of a woman sent in
by a woman lawyer in respect to my wife.
I was shocked but I told him that I recall
that Mrs Wigwe had sent me a text on
12th May saying that I would soon hear
from her lawyer. She had also told me
that she was going to send pictures
around. I instantly denied inflicting any
such injuries as he was describing and
requested him to call me back so we could
set up a meeting to discuss the letter since
I who was supposed to be the accused
received no such letter from any lawyer.
He hung up. The following day, very early
in the morning, I could hear movement
from Mrs Wigwe’s room and I could hear
that she had ran downstairs and back
upstairs. As I went into the bathroom, a
friend called me and advised me to check
out the Star newspaper. I ran downstairs
to pick up the newspapers of the day from
the front door only to discover that Mrs
Wigwe had earlier picked them and
returned to her room.
When I finally saw a copy of the paper in
my office, I was aghast at the strange
photos of Mrs Wigwe and her“battered
face” and worse still to read of severe
injuries to her “spine” which according to
the report could leave her paralysed! I
was also shocked that the story of how
the argument started had been
shamelessly and fraudulently altered. I
was shocked to read that my two children
took her to hospital. I was shocked to
hear that I had beaten her up in 2008
because I had brought women to the
Residence. And many other concoctions of
our story over the years completed my
day of mystery and entry into the world of
absolute scandal and blackmail, with
intent to extort money from me.
CONCLUSION
I affirm on my honour that I am not a wife
beater. I affirm that in the many years
that I have known and lived with Mrs
Wigwe, she has always been the
aggressor. That Mrs Wigwe is prone to
using her fists first rather than engage in
a debate or an argument to prove her
case. If anyone is guilty of violence in my
home, it is Mrs Wigwe. If anyone is a
victim of domestic violence it is I. I have
lost many spectacles over the years
following Mrs Wigwe’s direct hit on my
face. I sleep every night afraid that she
may enter my room and stab or strangle
me in my sleep. I am for this reason half
awake all night. I do not take phone calls
when I enter the Residence. Every call I
take is suspected to be from a woman
who must also be my girlfriend. So even
for official calls from colleagues or from
my host government or my own
government, I have to go downstairs
where she cannot hear that I am making a
call. On some occasion when I would have
fallen asleep and had forgotten to turn
the television set off, she had stormed
into my bedroom with lights blazing, to
accuse me of making a call. On such
occasions, I normally summon all the
humility and composure in me to endure
the unwarranted interruption of my sleep
in order not to provoke an argument. Mrs
Wigwe removes the photographs of
people she does not like from the album of
official events organised by the Embassy.
She had also asked that DVDs be edited to
remove the people she no longer
considered as friends or people she said
did not greet her in a respectful way or
people whose affinity to me could not be
sufficiently established. Most recently, she
abused officials of the Association of
Nigerian Women in Kenya (ANWIK) and
prevented me from attending the Nigerian
Family Fun Day on Easter Saturday 23rd
April 2011, organized by the women
because she was angry that ANWIK which
is registered with the High Commission
did not consult and get her approval
before approaching the Embassy. The
women had apologised and pleaded and
even bribed her with a free special dress
which she had accepted, but in vain they
pleaded. On the day of the event we were
not there and my colleague from Ghana
had to stand in for me!
On the level of public conduct, Mrs Wigwe
has so intimidated and assaulted many
people in Nairobi, men and women and
staff of the High Commission alike that
the High Commission no longer holds
dinners, luncheons and other mandatory
functions in the Residence. If in doubt,
please ask around Nairobi. Mrs Wigwe
has assaulted and abused so many people
at public gatherings in Nairobi that people
fear to greet me when we meet at public
functions. Mrs Wigwe hardly supports me
in my work. Although she struggles to
have a copy my weekly programme and
quarrels when my staffs forget to leave a
copy for her, she often criticises me for
attending too many functions. When
people commend me for the work that I do
she feels offended and often complains
that I am the reason why people don’t
notice her. I have tried in vain to
encourage her to do more social work or
to consider doing a post graduate course
in any of the universities in Nairobi, as a
way of keeping her occupied and fulfilled.
But after three years living in Nairobi, she
has not added any educational value to
her degree.
On relations with staff of the Mission,
Mrs Wigwe is a constant irritant. She
considers herself as the ambassador and I
her weak deputy. She calls staff and
directs them on what to do. She
intimidates the local staff and threatens
to sack them and when I refuse to do so,
we quarrel.
Mrs Wigwe is in dire need of psychiatric
examination or what religious persons
may call spiritual deliverance, but over the
many years and on each occasion when I
or those close to us have advised her to
do so, she had always ended up insulting
us. But this woman needs help. Every
woman who shakes hands with Dr Wigwe
is a threat to Mrs Wigwe. Even my female
colleague ambassadors have not been
spared. Mrs Wigwe’s ten finger nails are
painted and coloured differently ranging
from blue, red, brown, and gold to yellow.
A different colour and pattern for each
finger nail. Everybody sees something
funny in that especially for a woman her
age and status, but only Mrs Wigwe sees
it as most fashionable and chic.
Mrs Wigwe is desperate seeing that my
posting is fast coming to an end. She
badly needs money. She set me up and
used me as a pawn by destroying me
knowing that we were never going to be
husband and wife again after Nairobi.
Our coming together was only for the
sake of sharing in the glamour and glory
of high office. That was the motivating
factor for her uncharacteristic concern for
my welfare on that night of the 11th and
that was why she refused to believe either
I or her daughter and instead proceeded
to generate an argument using
provocative language. She had obviously
concluded that Dr Wigwe must not be
allowed to leave Nairobi with honours on
his back. That was the plot and she found
a willing accomplice who introduced her to
a woman lawyer who is a friend to the
Editor of the junk newspaper otherwise
called the Star. That is how the Star has
come to champion this fake and
fraudulent story in an attempt to help the
friend of a friend in her most difficult time
of financial ruin and imminent suicide.
My daughter, Adanne and son Nelson
Ikenna, had stormed the Star newspaper
offices to protest the falsehood the Editor
so shamelessly carried in her paper. The
Editor had confessed to my children that
she and the lawyer were actually friends.
Two quality newspapers in Kenya namely
the Nation and the Standard had refused
to carry the junk story. Nelson has further
made a comprehensive statement to the
Diplomatic Police, where he had met the
Residence Security guard (name withheld)
who had witnessed the actions of Mrs
Wigwe on the night of the event and had
struggled in vain with the Cook and my
son Nelson to restrain Mrs Wigwe, with a
“seriously damaged back and spine.” Mrs
Wigwe had coached, coaxed and incited
him to misinform the police about what
happened in order to make her story
credible but fortunately for Truth and
Justice and fortunately for the millions of
men like me all over the world who are
silently suffering and living under the
Tyranny of a Woman, who are Living in
Bondage, who are emotionally and
physically abused and assaulted on a daily
basis by their wives, who are forbidden to
bring their relatives to the house, who are
forbidden to bring visitors to the home,
who are impoverished by gluttonous and
greedy wives, the Christian and God
fearing Guard refused to be intimidated.
May the Truth prevail.
Violence against Men is real and must be
stopped. The stereotyping of men as being
responsible for domestic violence has
gone too far and has damaged
permanently the reputation of so many
good men. Many men have lost their lives
or have been forced to commit suicide
because of over domineering and
manipulative women. The female
predators move on with glee to their next
victim. Mrs Wigwe has proven beyond
doubt my long held beliefs that“Truth is a
lie repeated three times,” and another
which says that “He lies often who cries
often.”
CWW
Dr Chijioke Wilcox Wigwe
Dated this 30th day of May 2011 at
Nairobi, Republic of Kenya

emmatok:

Listen up WOMAN,

No nobody is say the man is a saint, and the woman not a saint either.

But you trying the defend the woman's action as "get it back" to her hubby s very wrong.

They are both partners in crime(domestic violence.)

As you can see she is not wining, neither is her hubby. They will both suffer for their actions.

Really? You are NOT trying to defend the man?

Then what is this long argument about    

Your 'case studies' are filled with instances of men being treated badly by their wives for no just cause, and as 'touching' as those stories are, this situation is different!

NOBODY can tell for a fact what the origin of this couple's problems are and until the true depth and severity can be unlocked, we cannot for a fact rule out the possibility that the man is being paid back in his own coin.

You think this is taking it too far? Wait till you see what she has passed through in the hands of this 'saint'.

Just wait oh . . . . more stories are coming.

armyofone:

i don't know if all the guys posting here do have sisters? will you allow a man to beat your sister to a pulp like that?

someome wanted to eat my head for asking why he didn't leave the house when she came in with her trouble. leaving at that time frame when there was a quarrel would have been the best thing. the animal in him wanted to fight back a ''woman''

aha!! you guys crack me up, anyway i live in a country where domestic fight is not tolerated. so am cool and no need to argue here.

And I don't know if you have a brother? Will you allow a woman to ruin your brother, uncle or a close friend you know is a gentleman just to meet her own selfish ambition?  

As the saying goes experience is the best teacher. I had a girlfriend a few years back who through her aggressiveness I learnt that there are ladies who view your tolerance and gentility as weakness and it irritates them. Anyime there is argument and she becomes aggressive if I keep silent she would start hitting me for not saying a word if I talk she would find one fault or the other with what I said. Whenever there is a quarrel and I tried to leave the room she would lock the door and dare me to retrieve the key by force. We weren't even married. she would lock me up all through the day. Her friends and everyone in her family knew she was like that.

I met her in school, I could not talk to even my male friends without her permission. She also go through my phone call history every evening. One day there was a quarrel she locked the door to the apartment and threaten to kill me with a knife she fetched from the kitchen That was the first and the only time I ever slapped a girl in my live. I managed to pin her down and collect the knife. In the process I sustain injury all over my body. Ever after, she never stopped talking about the slap I gave her that day irrelevant of my many injuries. Despite all these I wanted to marry her if God had not answered my mother's prayer: another guy impregnated her, she aborted  it and claimed she went to the hospital to threat typhoid which I paid for before my in investigation revealed the truth. I was probably the most stupid guy back then, because I still loved her so I gave her one condition to tell me the truth that she did abortion but instead she went into manipulation in her usual aggressive way.

Sincerely, I loved her and I could tell she also loved me but when ever she started her madness she could kill. I think she was obsessive. Till date we are still friends though there is nothing intimate between us.

olu77:

And I don't know if you have a brother? Will you allow a woman to ruin your brother, uncle or a close friend you know is a gentleman just to meet her own selfish ambition?  

As the saying goes experience is the best teacher. I had a girlfriend a few years back who through her aggressive nature shown me that no matter how tolerable you are there are ladies who will not appreciate you. From that experience it seem she was never in control of the aggressive part of her nature. Once we started arguing if I keep silent she would start hitting me for not saying a word if I talk she would find one fault or the other with what I said. Whenever there is a quarrel and I tried to leave the room she would lock the door and dare me to retrieve the key by force. We weren't even married. she would lock me up all through the day. Her friends and everyone in her family knew she was like that.

I met her in school, I could not talk to even my male friends without her permission. She also go through my phone call history every evening. One day there was a quarrel she locked the door to the apartment and threaten to kill me with a knife she fetched from the kitchen That was the first and the only time I ever slapped with a girl in my live. I managed to pin her down and collect the knife in the process I sustain injury all over my body. Ever after she never stopped talking about the slap I gave her that day irrelevant of my many injuries. Despite all these I wanted to marry her if God had not answered my mother's prayer; another guy impregnated her, she aborted  it and claimed she went to the hospital to threat typhoid which I paid for before my in investigation revealed the truth. I was probably the most silly guy back then because I still loved her so I gave her one condition to tell me the truth that she did abortion but she tried to manipulate in her usual aggressive way.

Sincerely, I loved her and I could tell she also loved me but when ever she started her madness she could kill. I think she was obsessive. Till date we are still friends though there is nothing intimate between us.          

Hmmm!

Funny that you'll remain friends with her   

Please don't let me start with my own stories . . . I'm sure we'll all sleep here!

Ujujoan:

Hmmm!

Funny that you'll remain friends with her

Please don't let me start with my own stories . . . I'm sure we'll all sleep here!

You are impossible.

Am sorry for your husband!!!!!

You seem to doubt that he is still friends with her from you reply.

If that scenario cannot happen with you and any of your exs does not mean it cant happen to someone else.

coded guy:

You are impossible.

Am sorry for your husband!!!!!

You seem to doubt that he is still friends with her from you reply.

If that scenario cannot happen with you and any of your exs does not mean it cant happen to someone else.

Please save your sorry for someone who actually needs it. Like, say . . .  your wife.

He couldn't maintain a relationship with her because she was 'evil' and yet he can maintain a lifetime friendship! Na wah.

It sure had to be spelt her kinda way FINNITO!

olu77:

And I don't know if you have a brother? Will you allow a woman to ruin your brother, uncle or a close friend you know is a gentleman just to meet her own selfish ambition?  

As the saying goes experience is the best teacher. I had a girlfriend a few years back who through her aggressiveness I learnt that there are ladies who view your tolerance and gentility as weakness and it irritates them. Anyime there is argument and she becomes aggressive if I keep silent she would start hitting me for not saying a word if I talk she would find one fault or the other with what I said. Whenever there is a quarrel and I tried to leave the room she would lock the door and dare me to retrieve the key by force. We weren't even married. she would lock me up all through the day. Her friends and everyone in her family knew she was like that.

I met her in school, I could not talk to even my male friends without her permission. She also go through my phone call history every evening. One day there was a quarrel she locked the door to the apartment and threaten to kill me with a knife she fetched from the kitchen That was the first and the only time I ever slapped a girl in my live. I managed to pin her down and collect the knife. In the process I sustain injury all over my body. Ever after, she never stopped talking about the slap I gave her that day irrelevant of my many injuries. Despite all these I wanted to marry her if God had not answered my mother's prayer: another guy impregnated her, she aborted  it and claimed she went to the hospital to threat typhoid which I paid for before my in investigation revealed the truth. I was probably the most silly guy back then, because I still loved her so I gave her one condition to tell me the truth that she did abortion but instead she went into manipulation in her usual aggressive way.

Sincerely, I loved her and I could tell she also loved me but when ever she started her madness she could kill. I think she was obsessive. Till date we are still friends though there is nothing intimate between us.          

*Shakes my head vigorously*
Na this kind unnecessary love dey embolden women to misbehave. I'm too awe-jawed to say anything sef. With all the billions of women in the world, men would still break their precious heads over ONE inconsequential woman?

olu77:

And I don't know if you have a brother? Will you allow a woman to ruin your brother, uncle or a close friend you know is a gentleman just to meet her own selfish ambition?  

As the saying goes experience is the best teacher. I had a girlfriend a few years back who through her aggressiveness I learnt that there are ladies who view your tolerance and gentility as weakness and it irritates them. Anyime there is argument and she becomes aggressive if I keep silent she would start hitting me for not saying a word if I talk she would find one fault or the other with what I said. Whenever there is a quarrel and I tried to leave the room she would lock the door and dare me to retrieve the key by force. We weren't even married. she would lock me up all through the day. Her friends and everyone in her family knew she was like that.

I met her in school, I could not talk to even my male friends without her permission. She also go through my phone call history every evening. One day there was a quarrel she locked the door to the apartment and threaten to kill me with a knife she fetched from the kitchen That was the first and the only time I ever slapped a girl in my live. I managed to pin her down and collect the knife. In the process I sustain injury all over my body. Ever after, she never stopped talking about the slap I gave her that day irrelevant of my many injuries. Despite all these I wanted to marry her if God had not answered my mother's prayer: another guy impregnated her, she aborted  it and claimed she went to the hospital to threat typhoid which I paid for before my in investigation revealed the truth. I was probably the most silly guy back then, because I still loved her so I gave her one condition to tell me the truth that she did abortion but instead she went into manipulation in her usual aggressive way.

Sincerely, I loved her and I could tell she also loved me but when ever she started her madness she could kill. I think she was obsessive. Till date we are still friends though there is nothing intimate between us.          

Damn! ! !

Imagine what would have happened if you married her. Once again, can someone mention just ONE thing men "gain" from being married?

harakiri:

Damn! ! !

Imagine what would have happened if you married her. Once again, can someone mention just ONE thing men "gain" from being married?

We've heard . . . no gain in getting married. You can go now . . . .

The main thing that causes most women to go ballistic on yall's asses is when you cheat on them.

Its very few females who dont mind being cheated on and such women are likely to be either having their own runs on the side, or planning how to do away with you.

Fact of life.

If a woman says she doesnt mind being cheated on ( even if you're cheating with her on someone else), then better watch your back because the day she goes bananas, you'll see what you never saw before.
Fact of life.

tpia@:

The main thing that causes most women to go ballistic on yall's asses is when you cheat on them.

Its very few females who dont mind being cheated on and such women are likely to be either having their own runs on the side, or planning how to do away with you.

Fact of life.

If a woman says she doesnt mind being cheated on ( even if you're cheating with her on someone else), then better watch your back because the day she goes bananas, you'll see what you never saw before.
Fact of life.

Actually, most men who get cheated on or assaulted by the wives/girlfriends are the gentle types who try as much as possible to do right by their women (and the funny thing is. . .YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS). Why do women folk have this strong affinity for telling lies even in the face of truth? It's so sickening!

Its the good guys that bear the brunt,

When you are nice to women they take you for granted

dayokanu:

Its the good guys that bear the brunt,

When you are nice to women they take you for granted

And vice versa . . .

So it's a tough world out there and we'all need to protect ourself!

okay I just don't get why some of you are so damn feminists like its very obvious that the man's story is true. The woman is a freaking jezebel and it's obvious that she's setting up her husband for her own selfish reasons. I'm tired of you so called grown women defending this woman just because you believe that all men are evil.

R3tr0st^r:

okay I just don't get why some of you are so damn feminists like its very obvious that the man's story is true. The woman is a freaking jezebel and it's obvious that she's setting up her husband for her own selfish reasons. I'm tired of you so called grown women defending this woman just because you believe that all men are evil.

Thank you so so so so so much for that. I didn't know honest women still existed. With the way these women styled "feminists" have been bantering blindly, i had already come to the conclusion that lying,betrayal,blackmail,shame and disgrace are part of the "virtues" that defined womanhood. Your post was very refreshing. Perhaps there are SOME women out there that can speak the truth.

@R3tr0st^r, thank u my sister. Going through the comments of some ladies is so sickening.

I guess you are so used to hearing men battering their wives that you find it difficult to believe the reverse case.

This remind me of the Satursday Punch cartoon 'Efe & Jude'.

Okay . . . so the woman is a Jezebel and deserved to be cheated on!

I hope that makes y'all happy?

Ujujoan:

Okay . . . so the woman is a Jezebel and deserved to be cheated on!

I hope that makes y'all happy?

Are you intentionally omitting the part of the YORUBA lover who came to co-habit with her in London?

The moment you have a woman in your house, Install cameras all over

At least when she fabricates stories those recordings would be your saving grace.

Assuming the Man is not a highly placed Ambassador or the children were not witnesses, he would be in jail right now for a crime he is probably innocent of.

Really what stops a girl when you tell her its over for her to claim rape or that you beat her as a way of getting back at you knowing the society would believe her story

@ Dayo
Are you intentionally forgetting the part when she moved in her lover AFTER she caught him cheating with several women

Ujujoan:



He couldn't maintain a relationship with her because she was 'evil' and yet he can maintain a lifetime friendship! Na wah.

There is actually a very big difference between relationship and friendship, I can choose not to answer her calls or see her. In relationship there are no such choices,you are in bondage until you decide to break free. Believe it or not I dated that girl for four years and in all the four years I did not toast any other girl how much more sleep with one all because I believe in commitment. And all those while, I believed she was thesame way because she made me trust her.  

What I learnt from my experience is, the way u start  a relationship matters. If as a man you show sign of weakness at the beginning of a relationship the girl would take advantage of you and any attempt to change things would result in an undesirable experience.

pro01:

*Shakes my head vigorously*
Na this kind unnecessary love dey embolden women to misbehave. I'm too awe-jawed to say anything sef. With all the billions of women in the world, men would still break their precious heads over ONE inconsequential woman?

 

There are species of men who are just too soft and find it very difficult to change their nature, I am one of them. I strongly believe that by God's grace I will enjoy my marriage and have a very happy home despite my nature.

Ujujoan:

@ Dayo
Are you intentionally forgetting the part when she moved in her lover AFTER she caught him cheating with several women

He cheated, She cheated back

So what else does she want?

Dayokanu are you now agreeing he cheated?

@ harakiri

let go of your boogeyman, ok.

I usually see a little sense in a few of your posts, but in this instance, your generalizations are unwarranted and uncalled for.

If you constantly attract the type of witch you described, then check yourself.

The fact remains the woman has marks on her body while the man has none. And there are also many dead wives of nigerian men. This is nothing to be proud of, so you people need to sit yourselves down and figure out how to remove this curse that makes you unhappy in all your relationships and also makes you slaves to your diicks.

@ Tpia

Abeg help me ask him.

@ Dayo
Now that we agree that ur saint is a serial cheat, we can end dis discussion.

tpia@:

Dayokanu are you now agreeing he cheated?

Did I ever disagree? I am going by the account given by the man and the woman

The woman claimed the man cheated and the man claimed the woman cheated

I assumed both were telling the truth

Ujujoan:

@ Dayo
Now that we agree that your saint is a serial cheat, we can end dis discussion.

A man cheats the wife cheated back so why does she still have to destroy his life and career? What more does she want?

a real boogeyman. Jason and Freddy don't match up
he tells us Boo and we all slithered away

tpia@:

@ harakiri

let go of your boogeyman, ok.

I usually see a little sense in a few of your posts, but in this instance, your generalizations are unwarranted and uncalled for.

If you constantly attract the type of witch you described, then check yourself.

The fact remains the woman has marks on her body while the man has none. And there are also many dead wives of nigerian men. This is nothing to be proud of, so you people need to sit yourselves down and figure out how to remove this curse that makes you unhappy in all your relationships and also makes you slaves to your diicks.

dayokanu:

Did I ever disagree? I am going by the account given by the man and the woman

The woman claimed the man cheated and the man claimed the woman cheated

I assumed both were telling the truth

A man cheats the wife cheated back so why does she still have to destroy his life and career? What more does she want?

if the man was due for retirement two weeks before the incident, then how exactly did she destroy his life and career?

other questions that need to be asked:


why did he invite her back after he said they were separated/divorced and she had another lover?

why are they married only under native law and custom given that he seems to be an educated man?

she's as bad as he claims, yet they have five kids. Was he hypnotised into having all five of them abi yansh is paramount.

no disrespect intended to anybody o.

tpia@:

Dayokanu are you now agreeing he cheated?

In addition, I believe 30 years is the mandatory retirement age for govt workers.

Someone correct me if i'm wrong.

If mr wigwe started work in 1978 as a civil servant, then that means he's been there for 34 years, give or take a few.

So he was long overdue for retirement before now, if that was so.

Let both parties involved agree they erred and are both at fault, the people taking panadol for their headache should continue with their gay lifestyles or whatever since its not by force to marry a woman, and the son should release another statement clarifying the fact that he's not disrespecting his mother, and that should end the matter.

Anybody who wants to laugh and have fun at their expense should also laugh away- na you get your 32  teeth. The perpetual moaners can also continue moaning but a little more quietly, if you dont mind.

And wasnt it in kenya that the first lady gave a journalist the kind of dirty slap that made him see stars and constellations, so what exactly is the media shouting about here as if they never hala before.